Akira Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 I've been working on an assignment for English where we had to write a creative piece entitled "Footsteps". I've got right to the end of the story and I only need a few lines to round it off, but I'm totally stuck for ideas! So, feel free to throw some suggestions at me to draw the story to a conclusion, or just give your comments/opinions =) Footsteps Alex paced cautiously along the old cobbled path. Bricks were missing in places and it had been well weathered, yet barely walked upon for centuries. He looked up for a moment at the gargantuan building that faced him, and whistled slowly in awe. Thick vines of ivy had already claimed the red brick walls as their own, encasing the house in dark crusty tentacles. Navy blue paint had started to peel off the front door, and the bronze knocker had turned green long ago. The chimney, which had not been utilised since the house was abandoned, was now home to a small family of ravens, who squawked intermittently with piercing calls, shattering the silence. The impressive hedges which surrounded the grounds of the building were wild and untamed, engulfing the pitiful oak fence which was suffering from heavy decay. It was more than obvious that even the most reclusive of hermits would not so far as consider the location as an abode. However, it was Alex’s job to change that. As a young go-getter fresh onto the property market, his boss, realising his potential, had sent him to explore the old mansion to see if it was fit for refurbishing and restoring to its former glory. He felt an array of mixed emotions: excitement, anticipation, and even a faint touch of fear. Of course, the house was uninhabited, but as a force of habit, Alex proceeded to knock three times with the brass knocker. As he did so, small flecks of paint were chipped off and clung to his suit jacket. He knew that it was going to take determination and strong will to restore the place! He waited for a few moments, and it was clear that nobody was going to answer, so he reached for his pocket and took out the key to the house that his boss had provided him with. The key only fitted into the lock with reluctance, scraping layers of rust which had a particular stubbornness about them, but eventually he managed to turn the key in the hole and he entered through the main front door. As soon as Alex had made his first step into the grand lobby, a terrible creaking emitted from the tired floorboards below. As a strong minded individual, Alex would not normally be put off by such a disturbance, but something about the combination of all the factors that almost made the place a “Haunted House” caused him to shudder softly. Brushing off such preposterous thoughts, he continued to walk into the centre of the lobby, moving at a steady pace so he could take in the marvellous surroundings. It really was a spectacular site. Although the room was dim, a faint glow of the setting sun shone through the darkened, stained windows, illuminating the crystal chandelier which hung above him. Cobwebs were prominent and Alex found himself having to brush them away frequently in order to press on. Portraits of British monarchs and noblemen hung from the walls, so thick with dust and withered by termites that Alex wondered if they’d ever be the same again. After exploring the majority of the ground floor, Alex moved on to the spiralling staircase which was layered beautifully with a red silk carpet. He almost felt guilty to tread on it with his muddy outdoor shoes, despite the fact that it was already full of holes and dull with various stains. Nonetheless, he held onto the smooth wooden banister and trudged up the steep staircase, wincing at the noise each step made as if they were about to give way. Then, out of nowhere, a terrible screeching filled the air and resonated throughout the entire room causing Alex to fall to his knees midway up the stairs, clutching his ears in agony. The din was followed by an ecstasy of mad flapping as a swarm of bats swooped down from the beams high above, indefinitely disgruntled by the disturbance of human activity. Alex pulled himself back up again, brushing off his trousers briefly and shuddered. He felt sick with dread at the next unpleasant surprise which would inevitably follow, yet there was a subtle hint of curiosity that inspired him not to give up just yet. Upon reaching the top of the staircase, Alex paused for a moment and inhaled deeply, taking in the musty aroma of damp furniture and decaying wood. Something wasn’t quite right; the tranquil silence was being disturbed by a sound so faint that he could only hear it subconsciously, but it was enough to entice him towards the master bedroom at the far end of the corridor. Cautiously, he progressed onwards, as if in a trance. He had come so far that nothing could quash his ambitions now. Sure enough, the sound of distant tapping became more prominent as he approached the bedroom, and by now it was quite audible. Alex broke into a sweat. His heart pounded like the drums of war, warning him not to go on, signalling him to turn back, but he could not. The sound of footsteps pacing back and forth, emanating from within the bedroom, echoed menacingly. His mouth dried up and his breathing became laboured as he stumbled ever closer to the door, his stomach beginning to sicken. A myriad of terrifying thoughts clouded his mind and his vision grew blurred as his cold, shaking hand outstretched and found its way to the handle of the door… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skuldur Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 ...and when he opened it a vampire jumped out and gave him cookies. It's pretty well written =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atomix Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 ... but as he openned the old, rusted handle to enter the room. There was nothing there but a picture of a little boy on the wall. ^^Huh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harhar Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 I have already told you my awesome ending over MSN ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jericho Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 He opened the door slowly and found his dad and his mom awaiting his arrival with a roaring fire, and fresh milk and cookies. If this crap don't fit, this is the reason: tl;dr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGAKITTY Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 ...and pedobear jumped out and raeped him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willieh Posted March 1, 2009 Report Share Posted March 1, 2009 it was then that his heart stopped from anticipation. The anxiousness and anxiety he was experiencing was too much for his mortal heart to withstand. WHERE IS YOUR GOD? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akira Posted March 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 ...and pedobear jumped out and raeped him. Obviously. it was then that his heart stopped from anticipation. The anxiousness and anxiety he was experiencing was too much for his mortal heart to withstand. WHERE IS YOUR GOD? ...Huh? O.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raelen Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Your problem, did you come up with a story line first? I think you might be making it up as you go, throwing in a bunch of atmosphere and vocab words as you go. It would be much easier if you came up with the ending before you start writing, don't you think? Then you can add atmosphere later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akira Posted March 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Your problem' date=' did you come up with a story line first? I think you might be making it up as you go, throwing in a bunch of atmosphere and vocab words as you go. It would be [u']much[/u] easier if you came up with the ending before you start writing, don't you think? Then you can add atmosphere later. The draft for this is due in today and I only started working on it last night so I didn't really have time to plan it =P I'll probably work on an ending after my teacher has reviewed the draft.. Still, keep the ideas coming (lulzy or serious) =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raelen Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 You could end it as a last resort, like this. ...And then he woke up. It had been all a dream.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akira Posted March 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 You could end it as a last resort' date=' like this. ...And then he woke up. It had been all a dream..[/quote'] I'd rather spend the night round the house of a raging homosexual fat American truck driver who's high on Viagra than end my story like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raelen Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 You could end it as a last resort' date=' like this. ...And then he woke up. It had been all a dream..[/quote'] I'd rather spend the night round the house of a raging homosexual fat American truck driver who's high on Viagra than end my story like that. There's an idea for an ending right there! See how simple it is? =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akira Posted March 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Akira: Here is my essay sir ^.^Mr. Thompson: Thanks, I'll get back to you on that.-5 minutes later-Mr. Thompson: Well everything was good but the ending was... strangely arousing...Akira: O.o -you learn something new every day- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrekstasy Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 Do you want him to die? I can end stories like that quite well. "...door. The rotting door creaked sickly as Alex peered inside. To his surprise, he saw that the room was filled with glittering gold and jewels, easily worth millions. With a joyful tear emerging from his eye, Alex foolishly shut the door behind himself as he rushed toward the treasure. A horendous scream filled the mansion as the floor caved in, claiming the man's life." Don't use my words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Lovegood Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 ... and was attacked my ninjas with large swords made out of Pikachu Hide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxdmilleo Posted March 2, 2009 Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 He had a heart attack and died. THE END Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akira Posted March 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2009 He had a heart attack and died. THE END Snail Mail Fail on a Whale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 4, 2009 Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 ...he saw the silhouette of a young man, roughly his own age, cautiously pacing the floors. Intrigued by his compatriot, he took a tentative step. The sound echoed through the chamber, steadily amplifying and dulling itself into a sound like a cymbal crash, but the man didn't seem to notice at all. He looked down. The cobbled path was beaten and run-down, as if it had been paced constantly for years without maintenance. With heart-stopping déjà vu, however, Alex realized that the path hadn't been walked for many years. He knew upon whom he would be gazing when he lifted his head with total, horrified certainty, even before he heard himself whistling, thoroughly impressed by the size of the towering mansion before him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodrun Posted March 4, 2009 Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 Okay I got the perfect clencher ending. .. Ready? .... Seriously though, you ready? .... They die![/purposelynotwritingspoilerwritetoprooveapoint,itsabookifyouspecificallyaskforhelpthenyou'vejustruinedwhatwritingastoryisallabout] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akira Posted March 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 Okay I got the perfect clencher ending. .. Ready? .... Seriously though' date=' you ready? .... They die![/purposelynotwritingspoilerwritetoprooveapoint,itsabookifyouspecificallyaskforhelpthenyou'vejustruinedwhatwritingastoryisallabout'] Did you really think I was going to use anybody's advice? I just wanted to see what dumbass ideas the members would come up with =P Although some of them are actually pretty good ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodrun Posted March 4, 2009 Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 Okay I got the perfect clencher ending. .. Ready? .... Seriously though' date=' you ready? .... They die![/purposelynotwritingspoilerwritetoprooveapoint,itsabookifyouspecificallyaskforhelpthenyou'vejustruinedwhatwritingastoryisallabout'] Did you really think I was going to use anybody's advice? I just wanted to see what dumbass ideas the members would come up with =P Although some of them are actually pretty good ;) Uh-huh. On that note.:idea: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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