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Pokemon - Just Another Kidd [Episode One Posted]


End Of The Abyss

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This is my first actual Fan-Fiction. I didn't feel like revolving around Yu-Gi-Oh. I've attempted Yu-Gi-Oh before, and it's a challenge if you try to work on something like Star, Umbra, or Kale can do. Pokemon is a game I've played since childhood, and I'm very fond of it...So...yeah.

 

[spoiler=Episode One - The Journey (AND the Trouble) Begins]

 

The sun was shining very brightly this morning, and everyone in Rojo Town knew why. Today, Levin Kidd was going to leave on his Pokemon journey. He had wanted to be a trainer since his father caught him a pet Poochyena for his 4th birthday. Now he was eleven, and he and Poochyena were going to leave on their journey.

 

Levin woke up and stretched. He walked over to the window in his room and opened it up and a warm air rushed in. He grinned and looked down. He grinned at some of his friends from town and he got dressed. He walked downstairs and into his family’s kitchen. He made some French toast and scrambled eggs. He ate and thought about all the wonderful things he was going to see, the people he’d meet, and the Pokemon he’d catch on his journey.

 

He finished his breakfast and washed his dishes. He didn’t want to leave work for his mom. He was a kind kid. His mom walked downstairs as he was gathering the last of his things. He turned to his mom and they hugged each other. “I’m going to miss you, honey.” His mom said, holding him tightly. “Mom, c’mon! I’ll be fine, and I’ll write to you everything I catch a new Pokemon, okay?” He said, grinning. “Okay.” His mom replied.

 

Levin left the house after his mother gave him $2000. He insisted that wasn’t enough, but he couldn’t fool her. He walked to the Poke-Mart on the far side of town and stocked up on Potions and Pokeballs. He said good-bye to his neighbors and friends from around town before finally leaving. When he stepped out of town and pulled a Pokeball from his belt. He pressed the bottom in the center and placed it on the ground. Poochyena climbed out, happy. “We’re finally going on our journey, Poochyena!” He smiled and Poochyena barked. They began walking.

 

As the ventured through tall grass, they encountered many Pokemon, but couldn’t catch any. They stopped when they heard wings. Poochyena barked as he looked up at the sky. Levin looked up, trying to avoid the glare of the sun. He saw a large bird—a Staraptor. And it was falling amazingly fast. Levin picked up Poochyena and clutched him in his arms. He jumped as far as he could and the Staraptor slammed into the ground. Kidd placed Poochyena down and stepped close to the bird. Along it’s torso was a big slash. The bird moaned. Poochyena dug around Levin’s backpack and pulled out a Potion. Levin took the potion and sprayed it across the bird’s chest. The bird jerked due to the sting from the Potion, but quickly relaxed. Levin grinned at the Pokemon. The Staraptor looked up at the human. “Are you okay?” Levin asked the Pokemon. The bird stood, put fell down again. “You should relax.” Kidd said. Levin left some food with the bird and he and Poochyena left the bird. The bird watched them closely.

 

Levin and Poochyena stopped in Amarillio City. The duo walked into a café and took a seat in a small booth. “We already made it to another town and we haven’t caught a single Pokemon.” Kidd sighed. He ordered a poffin for Poochyena and a piece of apple pie for himself. As they ate, Levin glanced out the window. He saw the many children swarming with their Pokemon. He envied them. They were five, maybe six, and they already had more Pokemon than him. He quickly got rid of the feeling and left a $4 tip. He grinned at the waitress and left the café. He walked down the main road and noticed a hotel. He checked in and stayed the night.

 

Not far away, a gang of Pokemon trainers were invading Rojo Town. Houses were burned, people killed and tortured. Three men specifically were going to piss off Levin Kidd. Mike Noron, Alex Noron, and Wesley George. The Noron Brothers and Wesley broke down the front door of the Kidd residence. Levin’s mother and father both woke up. The trio stormed up the steps and into their bedroom. The father jumped up and grabbed a handful of Pokeballs. Mike stepped forward. “Listen. Buddy. Put the Pokeballs down and nobody…except for the both of you…and everyone in town…will get hurt.” Levin’s father, Carter, considered. “Here’s a better idea. Get the hell out of my house.” Carter tossed three Pokeballs and out came a Dragonite, a Mightyena, and a Espeon. The Norons and Wesley each sent out a Salamence. “Salamence, Dragon Breath!” Alex called. Espeon and Mightyena went flying. Wesley pointed at Dragonite. “Giga Impact, please.” Dragonite was tossed forward thanks to Wesley’s dragon. “Salamence.” Mike began. “What? I don’t have anymore Pokemon!” Carter said. “Fly.” Mike said. The trio leaped on. Wesley grabbed Levin’s mother, Crystal. She screamed as the three took her away. “LEVIN! CARTER! HELP ME!”

 

But it was too late. They had already captured here and taken here away into the night sky. The fallen Staraptor in the nearby field looked up into the sky and saw this. He stood, although he was still in pain. He flapped his wings and took off. Levin’s father watched as the bird tried to catch the kidnappers. The bird glided under the Salamence quietly. He burst forward and emerged into view. He dove beak first into the kidnappers, who kept a firm grip of the Salamence. They slowly descended. Staraptor used a Drill Peck on Salamence and they all began to plummet.

 

Carter grabbed his cell phone. He dialed 1-555-928-5397. He heard the tone. Finally, someone picked up. “Hey, Levin Kidd speaking.” The voice said. “Hey Lev. It’s dad. Um…” He stopped. He couldn’t think of anything to say. “What’s wrong, dad?” Silence. Then Carter spoke up.

 

“Your mom…might be dead.”

 

 

To Be Continued…

To Be Continued…

 

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I'm not trying to put it down. This is just some constructive criticism.. Since your new to FanFic writing.

 

You need more detail.. Much more detail. You skipped a whole day already. You did get straight to the plot though, but still. It seems like you rushed this just so you could get the post in.

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It's not bad for a first attempt. I would like to see more character interaction though, like some conversations between Levin, his parents and the Pokemon. Descriptions of some of the places he visits, what does the scenery look like? Describe everything that the protagonist can draw from his five senses. Another problem is the repetition of 'He' or 'His' at the beginning of a lot of your sentences. If you continue in that way it will become boring to read. Try adding to your sentences to prevent that.

 

Instead of "He ordered a poffin for Poochyena and a piece of apple pie for himself."

Try "Smiling briefly to the black-haired waitress, he ordered himself some apple pie and a poffin for Poocyena."

 

Hope I helped... and keep trying. :)

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