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J-Max vs Bludmonkey


J-Max

Which do you prefer?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. Which do you prefer?



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Hello all, Tonight I am feeling a little bored and am up for a 1 on 1 with a member. I only have a few Terms.

 

[align=center]1 card. Monster, Spell or Trap

Image must be from my Archive (I will PM my opponent the Link)

First to 10 Votes wins (or 3 Days)

The Prize will be 2 Reps and 100 Points to the winner

 

[spoiler=J-Max's card]48078pbk.jpg

By showing your hand to your opponent, you can Tribute Summon this card with 1 Tribute. As long as this field card remains on your field you must reveal your hand to your opponent. All effects of Equip Spell Cards that increase ATK & DEF that are equipped to this card is doubled. When this card is destroyed, your opponent can select 1 card in your hand and add it to their hand to Special Summon this card to your field during the End Phase.

 

[spoiler=Bludmonkey's card]s1rora.jpg

During your Standby Phase, if this card is in your hand while you have 5 or more cards in your hand, you can pay 1000 Life Points to Special Summon this card. While this card is face-up on the field, it cannot be declared as an attack target. When this card is in Defense position, if your opponent attacks this card, you can negate the attack and inflict 1000 damage to your opponent. If your opponent is a male, he/she discards 1 random card from his hand. If your opponent is a female, destroy this card.

[/align]

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[align=center]s1rora.jpg

During your Standby Phase, if this card is in your hand while you have 5 or more cards in your hand, you can pay 1000 Life Points to Special Summon this card. While this card is face-up on the field, it cannot be declared as an attack target. When this card is in Defense position, if your opponent attacks this card, you can negate the attack and inflict 1000 damage to your opponent. If your opponent is a male, he/she discards 1 random card from his hand. If your opponent is a female, destroy this card.

 

OK let's see how far this goes...:/[/align]

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Blud killed his Card at the end with the sexist ending effect. :|

 

Due to that' date=' I'm voting for J-Max.

[/quote']

 

*sigh* And to think I can't change it now. >:(

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J-Max, your moved out, right? Cause if you did, you have an advantage. You can probably look at all the hentai you want and not worry about someone watching you. I was doing my card in the media center of my school, so I couldn't do it without worrying that someone's reading over my shoulder asking me, "Why are you looking at this stuff?!" UGH!!!

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How is my card Hentai? lol It's not just the Art that wins contests you know.

 

Well' date=' it's what my parent's think. I didn't have much time to write my effect, considering there were like ten people around me, including teachers. Plus I like Fiends, so I clicked that archive and I had to hide the page as best as I could to keep from getting in trouble. And not to mention I kind of offended the guys here with my effect that I came up with all because I put in that last part. I could have at [i']least[/i] come close if I hadn't put that in.

 

Soooo, yeah. :\

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Lemme run 'em through my rubric.

 

Card 1

 

OCG:

 

You can reveal your hand to your opponent to Normal Summon this card with 1 Tribute. While you control this face-up card, reveal your hand to your opponent. If this card would gain ATK or DEF by the effect of an Equip Spell Card, double the amount gained. When this card is destroyed, your opponent can select 1 card in your hand and add it to their hand to Special Summon this card to your side of the field during the End Phase.

 

Errors:

 

-For costs, don't use "By _______, you can _________", use "You can _____ to _____".

-show=reveal now, you got it right the second time around.

-Tribute Summon=Normal Summon in this case, as shown on Evil Hero Malicious Edge.

-"As long as this field card"? Really J-Max? C'mon!

-"As long as this card remains" This is outdated.

-"your field" There's been a plague of "your field" OCG lately in R-Cards and I get this nasty little feeling that you're the source.

-"All effects of Equip Spell Cards that increase ATK & DEF that are equipped to this card is doubled." What's doubled?

-"Inrease" is always made into "gain" these days, except when talking about changing Levels, as seen on "Noisy Gnat".

-"&" is always "and" except when referring to Spell & Trap Card Zones.

-Ugh "your field" again. Look at Volcanic Queen.

 

10/20

 

Name:

 

Blademistress, like Blademaster, should be one word. 4/5

 

Picture:

 

A little plain, doesn't really stick out. 13/15

 

Balance:

 

I really don't see the Equip Spell Card thing as being necessary. Too easy of ann OTK with stuff like Megamorph. How about a 1000 ATK bonus to all gains?

 

16/20

 

Effect Quality and Length:

 

Your text is a size larger than Blud's, and the Equip Spell Card thing has nothing to really do with the "other parts" of the card.

 

15/20

 

Originality:

 

The "1 Tribute Normal Summon" was seen on Malicious Edge, otherwise it's fine. 9/10

 

Details:

 

If Konami were to run this through, you can bet me any amount of money that "J-Max Quickie" would be taken out. Take it out. Add EN to the Set ID suffix.

 

6/10

 

OVERALL: 73/100

 

 

Card 2

 

During your Standby Phase while you have 5 or more cards in your hand, you can pay 1000 Life Points to Special Summon this card from your hand. This face-up card cannot be selected as an attack target. When your opponent attacks this face-down Defense Position card, you can negate the attack and inflict 1000 damage to your opponent. "____" if your opponent is a male, they randomly discard 1 card from their hand. If your opponent is a female, destroy this card.

 

Errors:

 

-"if this card is in your if this card is in your hand while you have 5 or more cards in your hand, you can pay 1000 Life Points to Special Summon this card" = "During your Standby Phase while you have 5 or more cards in your hand, you can pay 1000 Life Points to Special Summon this card from your hand".

 

-"declared" = "selected" in this case.

 

-"position" = "Position".

 

-"When this card is in Defense position, if your opponent attacks this card," = "When your opponent attacks this Defense Position card."

 

-Insert a condition to trigger the effect in the "____"

 

-"If your opponent is Male, he/she" < I lol'd pretty hard there. Anyway, he/she is they now.

 

13/20

 

Name:

 

It fits. 5/5

 

Picture:

 

It would be censored to hell and you know it. 11/15

 

Balance:

 

Eh, seems balanced enough, but I don't like the 1-card attack lock thing as well as the easy Special Summon condition. 17/20

 

Effect Length and Quality:

 

It can be attacked while in Defense Position if it's Set, I assume that's what you meant, but you should clear it up by stating "This card face-up cannot be selected as an attack target.", and "When your opponent attacks this Defense Position card", to prevent people from thinking it's contradictory. Oh, and lesbians still exist, so the whole "male/female" thing isn't necessary.

 

12/20

 

Originality:

 

Segments of the effect seem like a Cyber Dragon/Marshmallon hybrid, but it's mostly original. 7/10

 

Little Details:

 

Your circulation's unrealistic, but your Set ID's perfect. 8/10

 

OVERALL: 73/100

 

You tied. Nobody gets my vote. Have a nice day.

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