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Yu-Gi-Oh: Deadly Alliance (Chapter 10 Added)


Furious Reaper I

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Yu-Gi-Oh:Deadly Alliance

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1: Friendly Duel]

 

A male voice: “You have never beaten brother. You will never beat me!”

 

Another male voice: “Oh I wouldn’t be sure about that Charlie. You have fewer life points than me”

 

Charlie: “Jason, you will lose. That much is certain”

 

Jason: “How is that certain? You have 700 life points. I have 3500”

 

Charlie 700 / Jason 3500

 

Charlie: “Because I have just drawn the card that I need”

 

Jason: “Oh come on that’s not fair. I was about to beat you”

 

Charlie: “Like I said. You have never beaten me. You will never beat me. I activate Power Bond and fuse the three Cyber Dragons in my hand to create Cyber End Dragon (4000/2800) and because of Power Bond the attack points double (8000/2800) and then just for overkill I will activate Limiter Removal to double Cyber End’s attack again (16000/2800)”

 

Jason: “16000 attack points? My Silent Swordsman LV7 can’t withstand that”

 

Charlie: “Yeah. Cyber End attack his Silent Swordsman and win me the duel”

 

BOOM!!!!

 

Charlie 700 / Jason 1

 

Charlie: “You should have 0 life points”

 

Jason: “I activated Helping Hand of the Divine. When my life points should become 0 I receive a single life point”

 

Charlie: “That means you beat me”

 

Charlie groaned as Power Bond took all his life points

 

Charlie 0 / Jason 1

 

------

A few hours later

 

??? Walks up to Charlie’s house and knocks on the door. His mother answers the door

 

???: “Is Charlie here Mrs. Maguire?”

 

Mrs. Maguire: “No Taichi. He said something about duelling his brother at the park”

 

Taichi: “Thanks Mrs. Maguire”

 

A few minutes later Taichi reaches the park and sees Charlie and Jason in the middle of the park

 

Taichi: “Charlie!!”

 

Charlie spins round and sees Taichi running towards him.

 

Charlie: “Taichi, How about a friendly duel?”

 

Taichi: “Ok fine”

 

Jason: “He’s still upset that I beat him”

 

Taichi: “You beat him Jason? Good for you”

 

Charlie & Taichi: “DUEL!!!”

 

Charlie 4000 / Taichi 4000

 

Charlie: “You can go first”

 

Taichi: “Thank you. I summon Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV4 (1600/1000) and following that I activate Level Up and summon Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV6 (2300/1600) and end my turn”

 

Charlie: “I see you have some new cards. I special summon Cyber Dragon (2100/1600) with its effect and then I activate Black Pendant to Increase it’s attack by 500 (2600/1600) which is more than enough to destroy your Horus. So Cyber Dragon attack Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV6”

 

BOOM!!

 

Charlie 4000 / Taichi 3700

 

Charlie: “That’ll end my turn”

 

Taichi: “I activate Fusion Sage to add Polymerization to my hand. Following that I activate Polymerization to fuse Summoned Skull and Red Eyes Black Dragon to summon Black Skull Dragon(3200/2500) and now I’ll attack Cyber Dragon”

 

BOOM!!

 

Charlie: “You take 500 points of damage for destroying Black Pendant”

 

Charlie 3400 / Taichi 3200

 

Taichi: “I set one card and then I end my turn”

 

Charlie: “I’ll start my turn by activating Monster Reborn to bring back Cyber Dragon and then I activate Polymerization and fuse it with a second Cyber Dragon in my hand to create Cyber Twin Dragon (2800/2100) and then I activate Axe of Despair to increase my Twin Dragon’s attack points by 1000 (3800/2100), now I’ll attack your Black Skull Dragon”

 

Taichi: “I activate my Trap, Draining Shield”

 

Charlie: “Which negates my attack and add the attack of my monster to your life points”

 

Taichi: “Couldn’t have put it better myself”

 

Charlie 3400 / Taichi 7000

 

Charlie: “I’ll set two cards. Turn End”

 

Taichi: “I activate my own Monster Reborn to bring back Red Eyes Black Dragon (2400/2000) now I sacrifice it to summon Red Eyes, Soul of the Immortal (2400/2450) and he gains 300 attack points for every Dragon-Type in the graveyard so he gain 900 (3300/2450)”

 

Charlie: “He’s still 500 points weaker than Twin Dragon”

 

Taichi: “That’s where his second effect comes in handy, If he battles another monster I can discard a card to increase his attack by 1000. So Red Eyes, Soul of the Immortal attack his Cyber Twin Dragon and now I’ll quickly discard this card to increase his attack (4300/2450)”

 

BOOM!!!!

 

Charlie 2900 / Taichi 7000

 

Taichi: “Now my Red Eyes’s attack decreases back to 3300 and I end my turn”

 

Charlie: “I will find a way to destroy your monster without attacking it. Now I activate Cybernetic Funeral which allows me to send 5 Machine Type monsters to my graveyard and then I activate Overload Fusion and remove all 8 Machines to create Chimeratech Overdragon (?/?) and he gains 800 attack and defence points for every monster used in the fusion summon so he gains 6400 (6400/6400) now attack his Red Eyes, Soul of the Immortal”

 

Taichi: “I’ll use his effect and discard this to limit the damage (4300/2450)”

 

BOOM!!!!!

 

Charlie 2900 / Taichi 5900

 

Charlie: “This duel would be over if Chimeratech could attack again after he destroys a monster”

 

Taichi: “But he can’t so you can’t win”

 

Charlie: “I end my turn”

 

Taichi: “I activate Fusion Recovery and return Red Eyes Black Dragon and Polymerization, Now I will activate Polymerization and fuse Red Eyes with Blazing Inpanchi to summon Infinite Inferno Dragon (3500/2300) and then I’ll set one card and end my turn”

 

Charlie: “I activate Heavy Storm which will take of your face down, Following that I activate Lightning Vortex and discard Cyber Pheonix to destroy Infinite Inferno Dragon”

 

Taichi: “NO!!!!!”

 

Charlie: “As you have now realised that leaves you open so Chimeratech Overdragon end this duel”

 

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Charlie 2900 / Taichi 0

 

Jason: “Man that was an intense duel”

 

Charlie & Taichi (in unison): “You got that right”

 

 

 

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Really nice man! Can't wait for my char to show up!

 

I don't know if you're being sarcastic' date=' or if you're just a n00b writer...

 

K9991, this is a [i']script[/i], this is not a story. I would recommend writing a story if you want any decent comments. Second of all, your punctuation is terrible, you're missing a lot of commas and such, full stops are missing, capitals, and things like that. I would try re-writing this in story form, then your end result might be slightly better.

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Hey, I like the fanfic.

Looked like Taichi was gonna win too. :)

but it's cool that he loss. Maybe you should put it in story format. I don't mind script format reading, but a lot of people like story format better.

 

Anyways, 8/10. Can't wait for the next chapter. if you need any help, pm me.

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flash has a good point. Don't make duels too obvious. That one was interesting, but remember! You're card has an effect! Think like the duelist: He would definitely use it. xD anyway, decent overall. I don't have much to say on the format, be cuz i could care less. >.>

 

grammar 2/3

duel 2/4

storyline 1.5/3

 

OVERALL: 5.5/10

 

-have a nice day ^^

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Yu-Gi-Oh: Deadly Alliance

 

[spoiler=Chapter Two: Fantasy vs. Machine]

 

Taichi, Jason and Charlie were walking down the street towards Charlie’s house when they heard shouting nearby

 

???: I’m better than you Daniel and you know it

 

Daniel: How the hell would I know? We have never dueled each other therefore neither know who the better one is Stephanie

 

Stephanie: Well I’ve beaten Charlie and Taichi. Something which you have yet to accomplish

 

Daniel: They let you win

 

Stephanie: No they didn’t. I beat them fairly

 

Charlie: Actually I let you win but I’m not sure about Taichi

 

Stephanie and Daniel jump at the sudden arrival of Charlie, Taichi and Jason

 

Stephanie: YOU WHAT?

 

Charlie: I let you win

 

Daniel: He’s got balls of steel. Not many can remain whilst Stephanie shouting at them

 

Taichi & Jason: That’s true

 

Stephanie: What about you Taichi? Did you let me win?

 

Taichi: Yes

 

Daniel: See I told you

 

Stephanie: Shut up Daniel

 

Daniel: I wonder if you can beat me seeing as I have actually beaten Taichi and get my ass handed to me against Charlie

 

Taichi: By the way, I didn’t let Daniel win when he beat me.

 

Stephanie: Daniel, why don’t you duel me to find out who’s better

 

Daniel: I already know I’m better but I’ll duel you just to prove it

 

Daniel and Stephanie activate their duel disks and turn to face each other

Daniel & Stephanie: DUEL!!!

 

Daniel 4000 / Stephanie 4000

 

Daniel: Ladies first

 

Charlie: I don’t see any ladies here

 

Stephanie: I’m so gonna get you for that comment Charlie. I summon Moogle (500/450) in defence mode and end my turn

 

Daniel: Weak monsters really aren’t going to help you in this duel. I summon Ancient Gear Soldier (1300/1300) now my soldier attack her pathetic Moogle

 

BOOM!!

 

Stephanie: I take no damage because my monster was in defence mode

 

Daniel: I won’t make that mistake again. I end my turn

 

Stephanie: I summon another Moogle in defence mode and end my turn

 

Daniel: Nothing can stop my Ancient Gear monsters. I summon another Ancient Gear Soldier (1300/1300) and then I activate Ancient Gear Tank and equip it to the second one (1300/1300 -> 1900/1300) and now I’ll destory your Moogle with the first

 

BOOM!!

 

Daniel: Then I’ll attack you directly with the second

 

BOOM!!!

 

Daniel 4000 / Stephanie 2100

 

Daniel: Then I’ll end my turn

 

Stephanie: I activate Besaid Temple and send Sinspawn Gui and Rikku - The Al Bhed Thief to the graveyard so that I can summon Valefor - The Winged Guardian of Besaid (2600/2600) and because he is stronger than your Ancient Gear Soldiers I’ll have him attack the first one

 

BOOM!!!

 

Daniel 2700 / Stephanie 2100

 

Stephanie: That ends my turn

 

Daniel: I activate Monster Reborn and bring back my Ancient Gear Soldier and because that was a special summon I can tribute both of them to summon Ancient Gear Golem (3000/3000) and I’ll destory your Winged Guardian

 

BOOM!!!!

 

Daniel 2700 / Stephanie 1700

-----

 

Charlie: Stephanie’s gonna lose

 

Taichi: I wouldn’t count her out just yet

 

Charlie: Daniel has 1000 life point lead

 

Taichi: That may be true but she does have some powerful monster which would obliterate that lead in an instant

 

------

 

Daniel: I end my turn

 

Stephanie: I activate Baaj Temple and send Yuna - Summoner of Besaid Isle and Seymour Guado - The Twisted One to the graveyard to summon Anima - Messenger of Death (3050/3000) and I’ll have him destroy your Ancient Gear Golem

 

BOOM!!!!!

 

Daniel 2650 / Stephanie 1700

 

Daniel: All that power and you barely damaged my life points

 

Stephanie: Only because of your Ancient Gear Golem. I end my turn

 

Daniel: I activate Ancient Gear Factory and show you the Ancient Gear Golem in my hand and then I remove from play Ancient Gear Golem, Ancient Gear Soldier and another Ancient Gear Soldier from my graveyard so that I can summon Ancient Gear Golem without a tribute (3000/3000)

 

Stephanie: My monster is still stronger

 

Daniel: Not for long because I activate Malovent Nuzzler which increases my monster’s attack by 700 (3700/3000) so I’ll attack

 

Stephanie: I activate Anima’s effect and flip a coin

 

Stephanie flips a coin and it lands on tails

 

Stephanie: Your monster loses 500 attack points (3200/3000)

 

Daniel: That means it’s still stronger

 

BOOM!!!!!!

 

Daniel 2650 / Stephanie 1550

 

Stephanie: Anima’s second effect takes place now. He was destroyed as a result of battle we both lose 1500 life points

 

Daniel 1150 / Stephanie 0050

 

Daniel: I end my turn

 

Stephanie: Thank you for destroying Anima because now by removing 5 monsters from my graveyard I can summon Sin - The Bringer of Sorrow and Suffering Incarnate (3500/3550) and then I activate a card that I only put in my deck today,

Lightning Vortex and I discard Bevelle City to destroy your monster

 

Daniel: Leaving me open to a direct attack from Sin

 

Stephanie: Sin, attack Daniel directly and win this duel

 

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Charlie: That had to hurt

 

Jason & Taichi: Definetly

 

Daniel 0000 / Stephanie 0050

 

Stephanie deactivates her duel disk and the dust settled revealing that Daniel had been knocked clean off his feet by the attack

 

Stephanie: You ok Daniel?

 

Daniel: Yeah I’m fine

--------------

Across the friends two people had been watching the whole duel

 

???: Jake, they could impede our progress

 

Jake: Don’t worry Daniella, even if we failed to defeat them Lucas will easily do that

 

Daniella: We must report back to him with our findings

 

Chapter End

 

 

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