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Pwn Wars


ŠcrEMO

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Well my girlfriend and I were planning a baby, and I wanted a boy, but she wanted a girl. And it's a 75/25% chance that it would have come out a girl, knowing that, we went forward (because as long as we had each other everything would be ok), 9 months later, we were at the hospital and she doing her contractions about to give birth. and she turned to me, and said:

 

"Honey.. were gonna have a baby girl soon =D"

 

It was just at that time, when I realized that I wanted a boy, Damnit! I wanted a boy, I wanted to be able to throw ball with him, and go camping. So, my response was:

 

*slapped her in the face* "Were havin' a boy!"

 

Sure enough, 7 hours later we had a baby boy =D

 

 

 

While she was sidated, I replaced our baby girl with some rich couples baby boy. But don't tell her that. ;)

 

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Here's another one...

 

Me and my friend were on opposite sides of the hallway and ran towards eachother for a high-five. When we slapped hands, we forgot to let go, and latched eachother, forcing us off our feet and landing on our backs.

 

Pwned!

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Bully: "Haha, your a nerd! You play Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic, D&D, and more loser sports like that! Haha!"

 

Me: "Well, ya know what?! IMMA FIRIN' MA LAZER!" *BLEEEGGGHHHH!!!"

 

PWNED!

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Bully: "Haha' date=' your a nerd! You play Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic, D&D, and more loser sports like that! Haha!"

 

Me: "Well, ya know what?! [b']You were adopted by a crackwhore and forced to grow up with an alcoholic stepfather who touched you while you were asleep at a young age. So you take out on me in order to make yourself feel powerful since you can't do a thing to your stepfather and your crackwhore foster mother couldn't care less what happens to you.[/b]

 

PWNED!

 

Fixed to my liking. (I feel evil tonight)

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A guy with a fold able desk filled with rocket launchers' date=' napalm launchers, chain guns, grenade launchers, and a bunch of other demolition weapons stocked up in this shelf all aimed at me, and all he could do is pull a string that could release all of it.

 

And guess what I did...I shoot the other guy and he falls over.

 

PWNED!

[/quote']

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[spoiler=Potentially Offensive Pwn]

A particularly annoying boy in my maths class (from North Korea) started bugging me for no reason. I'm not usually racist, but I saw this opportunity as too good to pass up. He actually had the cheek to ask to borrow my calculator after he had been deliberately irritating me throughout the lesson, so I replied "No, you cannot use my calculator, you should have bought your own. Or perhaps they don't sell calculators in North Korea, because they are all communist? After all, if one person had a calculator, he would have to be shot because then he wouldn't be equal, and therefore North Korea is a backwards country because nobody can ever work out mathematical problems. Maybe that's why Asians are stereotypically so good at maths?" He just backed away slowly and shut up for the rest of the lesson =D

 

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