Oh good lord, you will get a kick out of this!

[Amethyst Phoenix]

http://objectiveministries.org/zounds/gaming.html

 

I stumbled upon this link on a gamefaqs message board and I swear to god, it's hilarious. It's either a really hilarious joke or it's real (which would only make me rofl more).

 

It's supposedly "christian game reviews" but its so over the top it's hilarious. The first half is a bunch of "approved games" (theres one where you shoot chocolate donuts at whining people who don't want to go to church). All these games are actually real, which is also hilarious.

 

The 2nd half of it is more mainstream games that all get demonized. Not just doom, but tetris! Yes, they demonize tetris. Also, every M-rated game one the list he hasn't played because m-rated games aren't allowed at his college.

 

I know at least some of you will get a kick out of this.

 

NOTE: I am not bashing christians or flaming their beliefs. I'm one myself, and still think this guy is bats*** f***ing loco.

[~Emo~]

This was weired. But it was sort of funny.

[Sigma]

What I find hilarious is that he even rated Spore as one of the games. Also this guy put Tetris on there because, "Tetris is unwinable, you can only put off your inevitable defeat. This fatalistic aspect of the game should come as no surprise since it was originally created in 1985 in the Soviet Union." It is supposed to be unwinable, your trying to get a high score here! D=

[Zeroshot]

Rofl, Tetris is a un-christian game.

[Hydra of Ages]

I'm...err, about 70% sure this is an elaborate piece of sarcasm here... can't be entirely sure, because there are some really moronic Christians out there, but the fact the guy mentioned "'Satire' like that is only designed to enrage people and confuse the issues," gives me a bit of a hint...

[Holy Babylon]

Lol, Jesus in Space.

[OnSlaUghT]

No offense to Christians;

 

They are mad by making this page. After reading their reviews, it made me remember some other things Christians did in the past.

 

1) Ban ice cream on a Sunday, because people were having too much fun eating it on Sunday, which was not allowed because it was a day of the sabbath.

2) Ban alcohol in a European country (I forgot which one), because it robs a human of his mind, something which god gave him. In case they forgot, Jesus made wine one time, which last time i checked, is alcohol.

3) Attempt to ban comic books, because they were violent. They blamed comics on children violence, so they made the comic code, which worked for about 5 years.

[~Emo~]

No offense to Christians;

 

They are mad by making this page. After reading their reviews' date=' it made me remember some other things Christians did in the past.

 

1) Ban ice cream on a Sunday, because people were having too much fun eating it on Sunday, which was not allowed because it was a day of the sabbath.

2) Ban alcohol in a European country (I forgot which one), because it robs a human of his mind, something which god gave him. In case they forgot, Jesus made wine one time, which last time i checked, is alcohol.

3) Attempt to ban comic books, because they were violent. They blamed comics on children violence, so they made the comic code, which worked for about 5 years.

[/quote']

 

Why does every one confuse Christians with cotholics? Catholics are the strict ones and that site if a joke site>>

[OnSlaUghT]

Aren't R.C.s christians?

[~Emo~]

No.

[Amethyst Phoenix]

To clarify, catholics are classified under the broader spectrum of christians. Also, let's not start a big religious discussion. Purpose of the post was to share a hilariously ridiculous page.

[~Emo~]

To clarify' date=' catholics are classified under the broader spectrum of christians. Also, let's not start a big religious discussion. Purpose of the post was to share a hilariously ridiculous page.

[/quote']

 

But the point is that branch is much stricter. My geeky friend Tyler is not allowed to have Fiend or Zombie type cards.

[Amethyst Phoenix]

To clarify' date=' catholics are classified under the broader spectrum of christians. Also, let's not start a big religious discussion. Purpose of the post was to share a hilariously ridiculous page.

[/quote']

 

But the point is that branch is much stricter. My geeky friend Tyler is not allowed to have Fiend or Zombie type cards.

That's.........extreme. I think everyone does things differently. The catholic school I used to attend years ago, didn't anything that crazy. Only stupid thing was locks on lockers were agaist the rules, because if we put one on it was insulting the other students by saying we didn't trust them.

[~Emo~]

To clarify' date=' catholics are classified under the broader spectrum of christians. Also, let's not start a big religious discussion. Purpose of the post was to share a hilariously ridiculous page.

[/quote']

 

But the point is that branch is much stricter. My geeky friend Tyler is not allowed to have Fiend or Zombie type cards.

That's.........extreme. I think everyone does things differently. The catholic school I used to attend years ago, didn't anything that crazy. Only stupid thing was locks on lockers were agaist the rules, because if we put one on it was insulting the other students by saying we didn't trust them.

 

lol

 

I go to public school and a teacher gave me an F on a report that we were supposed to chose (Violent games, Politics, Emo/goth culture, animal abuse) I picked the emo/goth one to prove we are NOT evil and she gave me an F and said it was trying to prove a false point. So I called her a dirty **** and then we got sent to the office..... I'll finish this over Pms if any one wants to hear the ending.

 

But catholics are scary. Jesus in space, WTF?

[Hydra of Ages]

Each church, no matter what religion, generally takes things to different extremes and has different things which are acceptable. Having the same religion pretty much just means you share the same interpretation of the bible, not necessarily the religion. Which is why you have some Catholics and Christians who do idiotic things like this, and others who enjoy video games on a whole.

 

On topic however, this is either pricelessly hilarious stupidity, or priceless satire. It's good to me either way.

[Flame Dragon]

I loled. I love these kind of people becuse they are truely just stupid.

[evilhorus]

8.31.2008: (Note: I have not played these games since they are rated "M" and aren't allowed on the Fellowship U campus' date=' so I am basing this mini-review on Secular media reports.) The Halo series is a very popular first person shooter game that first appeared on the original Xbox. The single-player campaign is set in space on a giant ring-planet (that is why it is misleadingly called "halo", it has nothing to do with angels or anyone holy) where human soldiers are battling aliens for possession of the halo. The player controls the Master Chef who in a surprise twist turns out to be more than just a military cook... he's also a super soldier (I think this was the plot of a Steven Seagal movie I saw before I was born again, only that was set on a Navy ship and he fought terrorists instead of aliens. But it's the same general idea.) It's a war game, so there's lots of violence, but it's against aliens (God hasn't said anything yet about aliens, so I guess that's morally acceptable for now). However, the alien forces are called "the Covenant" and are depicted as having strong religious values and a desire for Salvation, so they are undoubtedly a reference to Christians. The Halo planet itself is probably a reference to the rainbow God gave as a sign of His Covenant with us (Gen. 9:12-17), which means the game's objective of keeping Halo from the aliens is really about destroying God's relationship with His creation. Typical for the Secular media, the Christians are alien bad guys and must be either led away from God or killed. Also, there's a naked woman in the game, only she's a computer and translucent, but I'm told you can still totally see stuff. Where the Halo series gets really bad is in its online play, which allows teams of players to fight each other to capture the flag or other objectives. Unlike in single-player, here the players are trying to kill other humans (who are actual real people, not just AIs), desensitizing them to the murder of their friends and classmates (although the games are rated "M" most players are underage). Players swear and use blasphemies constantly in the voice chat, but that's not the worst part. When a player kills another player, he goes to the corpse and does something called "tea bagging". I'm not going to describe this since it's gross, but, according to Skeet, it's something that homosexuals do to each other. Why would they do this in a game!? (That's not the only homosexual content. The human soldiers are referred to as "Spartans" -- the real Spartans were notorious homosexuals. Come to think of it, homosexuals have also stolen the rainbow symbol from Christians and are using it to separate people from their God by leading them astray into the "Gay lifestyle". Maybe Bungie included "tea bagging" to further their anti-Covenant theme into the multiplayer campaigns.) For violence, nudity, swearing, promoting homosexual activities and promoting the destruction of the Covenant, the Halo series gets ZERO CROSSES.[/quote']

 

 

I read this. I pissed myself.

[fenrir]

8.31.2008: (Note: I have not played these games since they are rated "M" and aren't allowed on the Fellowship U campus' date=' so I am basing this mini-review on Secular media reports.) The Halo series is a very popular first person shooter game that first appeared on the original Xbox. The single-player campaign is set in space on a giant ring-planet (that is why it is misleadingly called "halo", it has nothing to do with angels or anyone holy) where human soldiers are battling aliens for possession of the halo. The player controls the Master Chef who in a surprise twist turns out to be more than just a military cook... he's also a super soldier (I think this was the plot of a Steven Seagal movie I saw before I was born again, only that was set on a Navy ship and he fought terrorists instead of aliens. But it's the same general idea.) It's a war game, so there's lots of violence, but it's against aliens (God hasn't said anything yet about aliens, so I guess that's morally acceptable for now). However, the alien forces are called "the Covenant" and are depicted as having strong religious values and a desire for Salvation, so they are undoubtedly a reference to Christians. The Halo planet itself is probably a reference to the rainbow God gave as a sign of His Covenant with us (Gen. 9:12-17), which means the game's objective of keeping Halo from the aliens is really about destroying God's relationship with His creation. Typical for the Secular media, the Christians are alien bad guys and must be either led away from God or killed. Also, there's a naked woman in the game, only she's a computer and translucent, but I'm told you can still totally see stuff. Where the Halo series gets really bad is in its online play, which allows teams of players to fight each other to capture the flag or other objectives. Unlike in single-player, here the players are trying to kill other humans (who are actual real people, not just AIs), desensitizing them to the murder of their friends and classmates (although the games are rated "M" most players are underage). Players swear and use blasphemies constantly in the voice chat, but that's not the worst part. When a player kills another player, he goes to the corpse and does something called "tea bagging". I'm not going to describe this since it's gross, but, according to Skeet, it's something that homosexuals do to each other. Why would they do this in a game!? (That's not the only homosexual content. The human soldiers are referred to as "Spartans" -- the real Spartans were notorious homosexuals. Come to think of it, homosexuals have also stolen the rainbow symbol from Christians and are using it to separate people from their God by leading them astray into the "Gay lifestyle". Maybe Bungie included "tea bagging" to further their anti-Covenant theme into the multiplayer campaigns.) For violence, nudity, swearing, promoting homosexual activities and promoting the destruction of the Covenant, the Halo series gets ZERO CROSSES.[/quote']

 

 

I read this. I pissed myself.

 

I hope this guy burns in hell.

 

MC is NOT a homo.

[OnSlaUghT]

Those bastards. Cortana is not naked, she just wears a suit like zero suit Seamus which her privates happen to print on.