Aniri Wulf Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 please rate my haiku...hope you like as the sun goes downthe world is at peace from soundif the sun stayed down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweller of Parables Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 Spam...much? :PIt sucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aniri Wulf Posted June 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 well its not spam. i just wanted to try a poem like other poeple. instead of a poem i made a haiku to make things different Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HORUS Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 You don't have any kireji or kigo, there's no visible theme, and you used "down" twice as an ender. In other words: meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedGai675 Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 Here's one; You are a spammerNo offense, but this post sucksGet yourself a life Do you like it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyKev Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 This isn't spam >_>It's a Japanese (or Chinese) Poem.And why we need a Literature section But it's meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juuzou Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 second line has eight syllables >_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxic-skull Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 It's sounds good ^_^ i've never written a haiku before...can you maybe tell me how to make one? please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 second line has eight syllables >_> Nope. It's 5, 7, 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juuzou Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 second line has eight syllables >_> Nope. It's 5' date=' 7, 5.[/quote'] let me rephrase that. he has 8 syllables the-wo-rld-is-at-peace-from-sound 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted June 8, 2009 Report Share Posted June 8, 2009 second line has eight syllables >_> Nope. It's 5' date=' 7, 5.[/quote'] let me rephrase that. he has 8 syllables the-wo-rld-is-at-peace-from-sound 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Depends on how you are accustomed to saying "world." >> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poc Posted June 8, 2009 Report Share Posted June 8, 2009 second line has eight syllables >_> Nope. It's 5' date=' 7, 5.[/quote'] let me rephrase that. he has 8 syllables the-wo-rld-is-at-peace-from-sound 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Last time I checked, world was a one syllable word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Omega Posted June 8, 2009 Report Share Posted June 8, 2009 It's sounds good ^_^ i've never written a haiku before...can you maybe tell me how to make one? please Easy. Make 3 lines, first has 5 syllables, second is 7, and third is 5. Don't like it, doesn't even have a base and it requires constructive critism (Don't know how to spell that, lol) which I don't have. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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