Frozen Lands Set

[Yoko Kurama]

Im sure theres lots of OCG errors but i dont know what so let me know what you think.

 

[ragnarok1945]

Expaline's effect is far too simple, I'd give it another one

[Death Bishop]

Yes there are lots of OCG errors.

 

Empaline's effect is basic (like Ragnarok said).

[Max Darkness]

There are a decent number of OCG errors, but overall, good going for New Member.

 

Rempen

i) Crop the pic so the the monster takes up more of it.

ii) 'graveyard' = 'Graveyard'

iii) The last part needs to be re-worded:

'...Graveyard, you lose 1000 Life Points. When this card is sent to the Graveyard, destroy 1 card on your opponent's side of the field.'

 

Malik (Blishtar)

i) Again, crop the pic slightly so the monster isn't squashed.

ii) Again OCG errors, but I'm not sure how to fix them.

 

Granhk

i) The effect is overpowered, in my opinion.

ii) I'd go with (OCG fix):

'As long as this card remains face-up on the field, you can negate the effects of Spell and Trap Cards that would destroy a Spell or Trap Card on your side of the field. If you do, this card cannot declare an attack during your Battle Phase.'

 

Empaline

i) Again with the cropping.

ii) Expand the effect.

 

Orathgomen

i) Crop the pic

ii) I'd turn this into a Beast-Warrior-Type

iii) OCG:

'If this card would be destroyed by battle or a card effect, you can Tribute 1 "Frozen Lands" monster on your side of the field. If you do, this card is not destroyed.'

 

Alliance of The Frozen

i) Too powerful

 

Hascret

i) Crop

ii) Kinda overpowered, and the last part makes no sense (see below)

ii) OCG:

'Once per turn, during your Main Phase, you can pay 800 Life Points. If you do, Special Summon 1 Level 5 (Otherwise it's overpowered) or lower monster from your Graveyard in Attack Position. (Make no sense otherwise)

 

Tersaccor

i) More imaginative effect needed.

 

Ammo Up!

i) Change to a Normal Spell Card

ii) Very limited effect, could change it to:

'Discard your hand and draw 5 cards. Special Summon all Level 6 or lower "Frozen Lands" monsters drawn by this card's effect.'

 

Enemies (1)

i) An Equip Trap Card! Wow, thought they only existed in the manga... change to an Equip Spell Card.

ii) You need a positive effect for your opponent, like they gain Life Points during each of their turns.

 

Enemies (2)

i) Why have you made this?

 

Crusades...

i) Do you mean 'Crusaders from...'?

ii) Change to a Continuous Spell Card.

iii) A possible altered effect:

'As long as this card remains face-up on the field, when your opponent attacks you directly, discard 1 Spell or Trap Card from your hand to negate the attack. If you do not, this card is destroyed.'

 

Overall, quite well done.

 

6/10

[Maliki]

Alright OCG alright pic alright effect 6/10