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Deus Acerbus: Seer Chronicle [Chapter 1 - Children Close to God]


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This is the tale of the Earth Minae, the accumulated amount of Earth Paradoxes and their protectors: the Seers.


[spoiler=Prologue 1: Seers]

Deus Acerbus: Seer Chronicle - Prologue 1: Seers




It was the third time Natel heard the message that day. His left eye twitched quickly and he gritted his teeth. The old man across from him, donning a prisoner's outfit and looking like he hadn't shaved in years, spoke up,

"Calm down kiddo, you'll never make it as a seer if you get pissed everytime an announcement is made."


Seers, attend to the matters written on the board of your Baseroom by Midnight tonight. If you fail to complete your mission, you will die.


"I know, I know," Natel replied to the man across the cafeteria table. "But do they really have to be so pushy about it?" Natel brushed a white hair out of his face to reveal a second green eye.

"Eh, the Boss does whatever it pleases." the man stated.

"Doesn't mean it's right." Natel finished. "By the way, I didn't catch your name."

"I'm Beacon," he sighed, eyes rolled downwards. He paused for a good five seconds, expecting a chuckle out of the pubescent boy. When he nothing of the sort, he continued. "And your name is...?"

Natel turned to Beacon, gave him an odd, teenager kind of look and gave his name. "I'm Natel. Four year's I've been a seer."


A seer is, as told by the name, a person who can see. The funny thing is, seers "see" into the future. It's not important stuff; sometimes they see what they'll have for dinner the next day. But sometimes they see things like tragedies and the lot. Their main ability is to tell what people are going to say next. Knowing this over and over makes the world a constant re-run.


"I've been a seer for-" Beacon started, but was interrupted.

"Fourteen years."

"How did-"

"-you know I'd been a seer for fourteen years? I'm a seer, remember?"

"The thing is, kid, once you're here, they take away your seer powers."

"Well, I've still got 'em."

"That must mean you've never gone on a mission yet!"


"Kiddo, I'll be sure to help you out on your first, 'kay?"


Following the Seer Removement Act of 1952, all seers, as soon as it is recognized that they are indeed seers, are transported to the Visum Deus Plane, the third layer of the Earth Minae, which is the accumulated amount of paradoxes of the Earth. As members of the Visum Deus Plane, the God of the seers, Deus Acerbus, sends them on missions throughout various layers of the Earth Minae to prevent hazards and crimes "seen" through the future eyes of Deus Acerbus. The seers are the secret agents of the Earth Minae, protecting it from layer-destroying hazards.


Natel decided to look away by now; he was certain he didn't want the old man's help. He got up from the seat that was nailed to the floor and took a left to the Baseroom Quarters. He walked along a constantly extending hallway, shifiting his eyes left and right, searching for room 703. He started to exhale a bit louder, but then, looking to his left, was Room 703. He clutched the brass handle and twisted it, closing his eyes, then stepped inside.


[spoiler=Chapter 1 - Children Close to God]

Deus Acerbus: Seer Chronicle - Chapter 1: Children Close to God


The room was well-lit, with a grown woman and two other children his age residing in it. The woman had long, crimson hair that seemed to flow about even without an air current. She wore a white blouse and a skirt with a colour that matched her hair and traced her outline until it crossed across her legs right before the knees. Natel blushed faintly; this was certainly unlike him. The first child, male, had a raggedy t-shirt that didn't seem like a t-shirt: the sleeves fed down to his elbows and the hem at the bottom reached the middle of his thigh. The same with his jean shorts, as they were halfway down his shin. His hair was short and black. The other child, female, had beautiful blonde hair that went about an inch down her shoulder, a slim-fit tank top and blue jeans. Natel brushed her off; she didn't seem too interesting.

"Hello, Natel," the woman greeted. "My name is Wynona and I will be your supervisor." Natel's face became a light pink once more.

"Hey, Natel," the boy welcomed. "I'm Toni."

The girl gave him an odd, almost angry look; "I'm Callie, kid." Natel wasn't sure about this girl; she was quite unpleasant and seemed not care about anything. Maybe something to look into later.

"Uh, hi." Natel managed to say.

"Now, now," Wynona began. "You three will be partaking in your first missions tonight. I'll make sure you won't fail." Natel, now going beyond beauty, noticed the name tag strung around her neck.


Wynona Richards

Ex-Solo Seer

Seer Rank: 20/20

Mission Success Rate 97%

Missions: 1206


Natel wondered how you couldn't have a 100% success rate; if you fail, you die.

"-and always "see" while you're there. If you're not paying attention to the messages of Deus Acerbus and your inner seer, you will never make it."

"Um, Wynona, I have a few questions."

"Very good, Natel. Asking questions is a great skill, kids."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, how is there a mission success rate? Your name tag says it's 97 percent."

"Well, Natel," Wynona's eyes were almost a bit saddened, and her contagious smile began to fade. "Your success rate is determined, when in a team mission, how many of your teammates made it out alive. You go down 1% for every teammate that dies." Wynona was Solo Seer, meaning she's always done missions on her own until she became a guide. According to other things Beacon had said, nothing counts when you're a guide, so he was obviously referring to Mission Success Rate. If she was a solo seer, then the only team battle she had was her first mission! And if three people died, that must mean...

"Any more questions?" her cheery smile returned.

"No, ma'am." Natel replied.

"Well, alright. We'll be leaving for our mission in ten minutes." Natel took this ten minutes as an opportunity to talk with the other kids.

“Hey,” Natel said to Toni. “What's up?”

Toni looked over at him, surprised. “Oh, hi, Natel. I'm a little scared about the mission.” His eyes were pointed downward, and his voice was shaky. The difference in height led Natel to believe that he was at least three years younger, if not more.

“Don't worry, kiddo.” Natel reassured him. 'Kiddo? I sound like Beacon,' he thought. He gave Toni a thumbs-up and walked over to Callie. Before he got there, she spoke up:

“I wouldn't come over here, kid.”

“Look, I just wanna talk.”

“We can talk after the mission. After all, we don't know what we're in for.” Natel really hadn't thought of that; the missions were a thing of protection anyway. They should prep so they don't fail. He sat down for the rest of his time, clearing his mind and readying his “eyes”.

“Alright kids, let's go.”


Earth, layer One.

Original Earth of the Earth Minae.

Orlando, Florida: Orlando Disney Park.

Mission Specs: Kidnapper pursuing teenage girls residing at Orlando Disney Park.

Mission Goal: Eradicate kidnapper.

Mission Fail: Teammates die / Fail to eradicate kidnapper.

Good luck, Seer.


This is what Natel “saw”. He inquired, “Are we supposed to “see” any mission specs?” Wynona nodded. The team of four set off around the Disney park. There were attractions everywhere and Toni kept bugging the others to ride them.

“Come on! Just one ride!” he pestered. Wynona constantly reminded him that they were on a mission and didn't have time for such trivial things. Callie eventually caved in and began pleading to go on a ride occasionally. Natel had enough and decided to say, “Wynona, let's just go on one quick ride so they'll shut up.”

Wynona sighed. “Fine. You two get to go on one ride while Natel and I stay here. That sick kidnapper shouldn't be here yet anyway.”

“Hooray!” Toni shouted. Callie smiled and held his hand as they walked to the ride.

“How old is that Toni kid anyway?” Natel asked Wynona once they were gone.

“He's eight years old.” Natel was way off on age.

“Why would they take an eight year-old to the Deus Visum Plane?”

“His Seer power.”

“I haven't gotten mine yet, but an eight year-old kid already has his? That's just uncool.” Wynona giggled.

“I'm glad you don't have yours yet. If you had a power like Toni, and at your age, I'd be scared to death.”

“What power does Toni have?”

“When he touches wood, it instantly goes up in flames.” Then, from the distance, a cloud of black smoke rose and a small, orange light rested beneath it. A building was on fire.

“Hey, Wynona,” Natel asked. “Which way did they go?”

“Over that way,” she responded, turning and pointing towards the smoke. She paused for a second and then said, “You don't think...?”

“Let's go!” Natel barked. The two went off running towards the burning building.


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This could be interesting. The beginning is well-written, and you give just enough description and explanation, providing it's a prologue. By the way, Natel sounds like he looks like...


That's not really a bad thing, but I just felt like pointing it out. It's the main character of Mushishi! A manga!

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This could be interesting. The beginning is well-written' date=' and you give just enough description and explanation, providing it's a prologue. By the way, Natel sounds like he looks like...


That's not really a bad thing, but I just felt like pointing it out. It's the main character of Mushishi! A manga!


well written my ass. >:C

Natel is not emu.


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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

...you didn't bother declining "visum deus." Putting them both in the nominative ruins the whole thing. Seems more like it should be "visum dei."


Anyway, that plot could go so many places. It's like a well-written anime, even if it is light on the exposition and not en media res. Flesh out the world a bit, and you'll have an immersive tale worthy of publication.


Watch your sentence structure, too. I really need to post a thread about that.

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