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The Original One Movie Reviews- #1 G.I Joe- Rise Of Cobra


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[align=center]Hello Everyone!

So over the summer i've seen many movies and last night i had the idea to do some movie review of some of the films i've seen or going to see in the near future.

This Week G.I Joe- Rise Of Cobra[/align]



O.k so almost every boy should know what or who GI Joe, so as a young boy at heart i had high hopes for this film. Hopefully full of action and gadgets that will make my heart pump violently. But apart from all of the action i do want some sort of a story/plot that keeps my eyes from glazing over when there isn't a explosion or large CGI action sequence. On The first point i was right. I swear almost every 10 minutes there was some sort of action scene but on the second point i'm not to sure...[/align]



GI Joe promised some good stuff for me when i saw the cast of this new film

The GI Joes

- Channing Tatum Plays Duke

- Dennis Quaid Plays Hawk

- Rachel Nichols Plays Scarlett

- Marlon Wayans Plays Ripcord

- Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje Plays Heavy Duty

- Saïd Taghmaoui Plays Breaker

- Ray Park Plays (Unspeaking) Snake Eyes



- Christopher Eccleston Plays Destro / James McCullen

- Joseph Gordon-Levitt Plays Cobra Commader / Rex / The Doctor

- Sienna Miller Plays Baroness

- Lee Byung-hun Plays Storm Shadow

- Arnold Vosloo Plays Zartan


I would like to say many of the cast provide good parts to the movie in a whole, none of them steal the show / film but the select few helped me through the movie. Eccleston, Wayans, Nichols and Miller (the last two are solely there for those tight battle suits :D) all where pretty good throughout.[/align]


[align=center]Basic Plot

(This Whole Plot Bellow was copied from Wikipedia!!)


The film opens in France, in 1641. The Scotsman Klan McCullen has been accused of selling weaponry to both the Scots and French. Rather than being executed for treason, the jury brands his face with a white-hot mask in order to humiliate him. In the near future, weapons expert James McCullen has created a nanotechnology-based weapon capable of destroying an entire city. His company MARS sells four warheads to NATO, and the U.S. Army is tasked with delivering the warheads. Duke and Ripcord are delivering the warheads when they are ambushed by the Baroness, who Duke recognized to be his ex-fiancee Ana Lewis. Duke and Ripcord are rescued by Scarlett, Snake Eyes and Heavy Duty. They take the warheads to The Pit, G.I. Joe's command center in North Africa, and upon arriving rendezvous with General Hawk, the head of the G.I. Joe Team. Hawk takes command of the war-heads and excuses Duke and Ripcord, only to be convinced to have them join his group after Duke reveals that he knows the Baroness.


McCullen is revealed to be using the same nanotechnology to build an army of soldiers with the aid of the Doctor, planning on using the warheads to bring panic and bring about a new world order. Using a tracking device, McCullen locates the G.I. Joe base and sends Storm Shadow and the Baroness to retrieve the warheads with assistance from Zartan, inflicting casualties on several G.I. Joe soldiers. After a fight, Storm Shadow and the Baroness retrieve the warheads and take them to Baron DeCobray, the Baroness's husband, for him to weaponize and use them to destroy the Eiffel Tower to serve as a showing of the warhead's destructive power. Making their way to Paris, the Joes pursue them through the streets but are unsuccessful in stopping them from launching the missile. Duke manages to hit the kill switch, but in doing so he is captured and taken to McCullen's base under the Arctic.


G.I. Joe locates the secret base and fly there as McCullen loads three missiles with nano-mite warheads. After Snake Eyes takes out one, Ripcord pursues the remaining missiles in a prototype Night Raven jet while Scarlett and her group infiltrate the base. While Scarlett and Snake Eyes attempt to shut down the Arctic base, with Heavy Duty leading an attack on Cobra's forces, Duke learns that the Doctor is Rex Lewis, Ana's brother believed to have been killed on a mission led by Duke four years ago. He was trapped in a bunker with Doctor Mindbender (Kevin O'Connor), disfigured in the blast which everyone presumed had killed him. The Baroness tries to free Duke but the Doctor reveals he has implanted her with nano-mites which has put her under his control for the past four years, admitting his amazement that she is resisting the programming. Attempting to kill Duke, McCullen ends up being facially burned as he flees with Rex to an escape vessel. Duke and the Baroness pursue him while the Joes fall back when Rex activated the base's self destruct sequence.


Rex then heals McCullen's burned face with nano-mites, encasing it in silver as he christens McCullen "Destro" and assumes the identity of Cobra Commander before they are captured by G.I. Joe soon after. On board the supercarrier USS Flagg, Baroness is placed in protective custody until they can remove the nano-mites from her body. Meanwhile, Zartan, having been earlier operated on by Rex, infiltrates the White House during the missile crisis and assumes the identity of the President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce).


The start of the movie gives us a great look into the past of the McCullens, in which straight from the start we know who is the bad guy wich kinda ruined the story for me. I was hoping that we would only find out who was the bad guy leader in the end after a huge battle but oh well i was wrong. The rest of the story is good (good meaning not bad not great) it also gives us a look into the past of some of the characters helping us to understand some of the bad guys motives towards the Joes.

The only thing that really ticked me off was the ending, after a great final battle scene in the underwater lair and the thrilling single handed world saving flight scene by Ripcord i knew what was going to happen with the president of the U.S. Also the arrest of Destro and the Commader seemed to be rushed but at least they have left it open for a second film as i don't think the Commader will stand being locked up for long.[/align]



If the GI Joe franchise hope to make a second film to ROC they will need to make a least triple of what the spent on making this film (170 Million US dollars). But with some of the cast members i highly think it won't. Tatum offers the emotional range of a spoon and Quaid's motivational war speach at the end almost had be throwing my Coke at his large mouth. On a whole it was a average film, but for the audience i think it's very limted as only in my opinion Boys and Men will go out to see it and enjoy it. As i doubt some Girls and Women will like a film with massive explosions and very little storyline[/align]


[align=center]Final Rating

Plot----- 3/5

Cast ---- 4/5

Cost To Make to my own enjoyment---- 3/5

Audience Outreach ------2/5

Overall Rating



Post Your own thoughts and comments on the film aswell!!

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The review seems fairly worthless

Instead of actually focusing on what makes the movie good or bad, almost the entire thing is the movie's plot and just totally tells and ruins the movie for those who hadn't seen it.

Plot should not be revealed but rather commentary should be offered to talk about weak and strong points without mentioning any specifics.

Commentary is far too opinionated as it should not mention you in the slightest and only what was weak or good.

Rating system is flawed as the only rating that is not based purely on opinion is Plot (Cast may be considered non opinion based if measuring on choice of actors for their rolls rather than just who the actors are)


Grammar, capitalization, punctuation, and spelling are also all in need of help.

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