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YUGIOH 27 INSECTS

~/Coolio Prime\~

By ~/Coolio Prime\~
in Creative Writing

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~/Coolio Prime\~ Newbie

~/Coolio Prime\~

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Chapter 1: Sex

Pooper's bright pink hair shimmered as he laughed. "HMGUHGUHGUHGUH!"

 

Pooper's LP: 1

Gaytard's LP: 10000000000

 

Gaytard was shocked. "BUT IM WINNING I HAVE LOTS OF MONSTERS" And he did. He had a big dragon and a bunch of other cards that'll be released as commons and rares in the next card set.

 

"I activate my trap card "Situational Protagonist Card"!"

 

"HUH?!"

 

Pooper's green hair shimmered as he yelled, "If my opponent is a first episode villain, his life points instantly become zero!"

 

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

 

Pooper's LP: 1

Gaytard's LP: 0

 

Gaytard's Duel Pogo-stick stopped, and the overweight pilot nemesis that may or may not return as a running gag/plot device fell to the ground.

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED KIND OF

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~/Coolio Prime\~ Newbie

~/Coolio Prime\~

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Chapter 2: Ninjas, Pirates, and Psychiatrists: The Ultimate Three-Way

 

Pooper's blue hair and Poopers were in Community Duel College. The teacher was teaching them about Tributing and Reviving monsters and other satanic stuff when a kid raised his hand. "YES WHAT IS IT" yelled the teacher, in the middle of drawing the anti-christ.

 

"uh why is there a school dedicated to a game you can master with common sense and an instruction manual"

 

"Because that way we can isolate defected children that enjoy getting it on with games from the rest of society!"

 

"ok but why is there an entire school system dedicated to a past time that very few excel at"

 

"BECAUSE MY HAIR IS TWENTY FEET LONG"

 

The kid sat down, satisfied with his responses. Class was dismissed and the nameless classmate was walking in the hallway when the school bully Xavier and his entourage approached him. "What a gay question that was to ask, jabroni!"

 

Like most people that play cards for a living, the kid was a total pussy and just cried as Xavier beat him up. His personality devoid entourage giggled evilly.

 

"NOOOOOOOOOO" Poopers and his cyan hair got in the way of Xavier's punch. "I don't like you and your bullying ways Xavier! Let's settle this like real girls, in a game of Yugioh!"

 

The bully laughed. "Xavier accepts your challenge. But what's with your school uniform, it's all queer!"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Your tie is gone, your shirt is halfway unbuttoned, your belt is loose so your dress pants are all baggy and your jacket is all pointy and stuff. It confuses Xavier."

 

"Oh, that's cause the main character has to be all rebellious and undo his school uniform so it's as revealing as possible and then proceed to walk around in day to day life with it. And because I'm a man whore."

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~/Coolio Prime\~ Newbie

~/Coolio Prime\~

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bahaha' date=' make poopers hair orange next time ;'].

I didn't read this post until now, but I'll pretend I made it orange for you.

 

 

 

Chapter 3: Of Mice And Men

 

Poopers, Xavier, and Pooper's orange hair were riding about the school on their Duel Pogo-Sticks.

 

Pooper's LP: 4000

Xavier's LP: 4000

 

A nameless schoolboy questioned the duel's validity, "Aren't duels supposed to have 8000 Life Points?"

 

Poopers responded half-heartedly, "Apparently this is to make duels go faster, even though the producers manage to drag them out to three episodes anyways."

 

"XAVIER THE BULLY WILL GO FIRST" Xavier laughed.

 

Pooper's yellow hair protested, "Who said you could go first?! We have to flip for priority!"

 

"Screw the priority Xavier is beating a dead horse by using a Yugioh The Abridged Series meme!" Xavier drew a card and laughed once more about a card game. "Xavier summons Evil Bully From Synonym For Hell That Isn't Hell Because of Censoring!" The monster appeared in stunning 3-D quality that you'd think would be put to use on games that were actually fun. "SEE I USE A BULLY BECAUSE IM A BULLY. NOW AT THE END PHASE OF THE TURN MY BULLY BULLIES AWAY 500 LP"

 

Poopers cried as his LP depleted, "I AM SOMEHOW TAKING PAIN FROM A GAME AND THIS CARD'S EFFECT WHICH IS SEVERELY OUTCLASSED IN THE REAL METAGAME IS SOMEHOW GIVING ME TROUBLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

 

Pooper's LP: 3500

Xavier's LP: 4000

 

The bully laughed once more, "Xavier is already declaring victory because he has a minor field advantage and burned off a fraction of your health, jabroni!"

 

Pooper's hair was red with a fiery passion as he drew his card.

 

 

SUSPENSE

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~/Coolio Prime\~ Newbie

~/Coolio Prime\~

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The only bad thing is that each chapter's so short...

 

I made this for a different forum that I expected wouldn't be able to take extremely long doses of a paragraph-style fic' date=' but I'll make Chapter 5 longer.

 

 

Chapter 4: Gallbladder of the Cards

 

Pooper's LP: 3500

Xavier's LP: 4000

 

Pooper's neon hair surveyed the situation. "Your Evil Bully From Synonym For Hell That Isn't Hell Because of Censoring has 1800 ATK cause he's a bully, and 0 DEF because of his low self esteem. See what examining the cards can do?"

 

"You could've just look at his stats, [i']queer[/i]!"

 

Poopers cried and drew a card. "I activate "1-2-3 Against All Probability"! I discard 5 Spell Cards." Poopers does so, "And draw three cards. If I draw a Spell, a Trap, and a Monster, I can SS that monster!"

 

"Xavier thinks that card is crap!"

 

"That it is, but I drew the proper cards! So I Special Summon Dark Necrophiliac!"

 

A Dark Magician with no crotch plate appeared.

(2500/0)

 

"Attack his Evil Bully From Synonym For Hell That Isn't Hell Because of Censoring!" The Dark Necrophiliac released black magic from his lower body area that destroyed the bully.

 

Pooper's LP: 3500

Xavier's LP: 3300

 

"Xavier is not impressed!" yelled the bully as his Life Points dropped.

 

Pooper's magenta hair chuckled as he said, "My Dark Necrophiliac's ability kicks in!" The Magician cackled mischievously and went inside Xavier's Graveyard.

 

"What is he doing?!"

 

"Raping your monster's dead body, dealing damage equal to his ATK!"

 

"What a painfully generic effect!!!"

 

Pooper's LP: 3500

Xavier's LP: 1500

 

The Duel Pogo-Sticks rounded the corner of the school as Xavier drew a card. "You damned kids are ruining my beautiful floor!" cried a janitor.

 

"Xavier Summons Super Bully Jerk(1500/0)! Now Xavier activates "Self-Esteem Drop"! When I have a "Bully" monster Xavier can reduce the ATK of one of your monsters to 0! Now attack that jabroni my Bully!"

 

"OH NOOOO"

 

SUSPENSE

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