[Suicide]

[Blamonchesix]

I have begun to read tabloids a little more often these past few days and I've noticed that the articles about suicide were bestsellers. The only problem is that there are still a lot of people who are amateurs at making their grand entrance to the heavens... or down under. That is why I've taken notice of this for the benefit of those who are making plans. Here are the tips for a safe, relaxing, and an unforgettable moment to say good bye to the world.

 

1. Before anything else, one should know the right reason to commit suicide. If your problem is because you lost money or your loved one left you, don't despair. The world is full of people you can love and money can be be earned so never lose hope. The only people who have the right to end their lives are the ones who keep using their cell phones and the ones who keep talking inside a movie theater.

 

2. If you are sure of what you want to do and you think you have the right reason to do it, the next step is choosing of how one should die. Popular methods include hanging, drinking poison, jumping on the train tracks, shooting the brain (or heart if you don't have a brain and still alive), and slitting the wrist. Other methods include jumping from a high place, getting run over by a vehicle and stopping your breathing. Remember that you may still live if you make a mistake doing the said methods that's why you should choose only 1 that best fits you. Also take note that some of these ways can be messy and ugly. You wouldn't want people looking at you in your coffin resembling a dehydrated housefly.

 

3. Write a suicide note. This is the exciting part. Here you can blame anyone in the world and there's nothing they can do about it. Just say that you didn't want to end your life but they were all in a bad mood to listen to you. But don't forget to ask for forgiveness so that it would look cool if it becomes a hit movie.

 

4. Pick a theme song. Mention your special request on the note and ask to play it on your funeral. Avoid Rock music. Choose a mellow and meaningful song... like Tom Jones' "Sexbomb".

 

5. Write properly on the suicide note. Print. Avoid erasures. Use a scented stationary and a #1 pencil. Sign. Don't use stickers. Put the suicide note in a place where easily seen. Place it on the forehead.

 

6. Plan what you're going to wear. You only die once so wear clothes that would be memorable. Choose a cloth that doesn't wrinkle much and isn't itchy. Bring extra clothes just in case you get sweaty.

 

7. Pick a good place where you'll be buried. Those who were born in the year of the Rat, Dragon, Rabbit, Snake, Tiger, Chicken, Pork, and Beef should always face on the nearest carnival. Those who were born on different years should be cremated and become foot powder, to ease the flow of money.

 

8. Schedule when your funeral will be held at the first 2 weeks of the month or the last 2 weeks of the month, to ease the flow of money.

 

9. If you have your Driver's License, DMV ID, Affidavit of Loss, original copy of birth certificate, stool and urine sample, you can now commit the dreadful act you wish to perform. Just make sure you don't end up on the tabloids beside the article of the 3-headed horse or the mermaid at the bay. So that you can ease the flow of money.

 

 

 

 

Discuss suicide or the topic above.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Again, Translated from a foreign book. Sharing is Caring. (^_^)

[Dismal Euphony]

Wait... What?

 

Suicide is for cowards.

[HORUS]

Wait... What?

 

Suicide is for cowards.

 

Yo, I'm quite uncowardly myself and I've considered suicide hundreds of times. Having severe depression, bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, and a severely low self-confidence can do that. I'm perfectly unafraid to die. I probably would have killed myself a long time ago if I had a gun. Facing death is the least cowardly thing you can do, in my opinion.

[Dismal Euphony]

Wait... What?

 

Suicide is for cowards.

 

Yo' date=' I'm quite uncowardly myself and I've considered suicide hundreds of times. Having severe depression, bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, and a severely low self-confidence can do that. I'm perfectly unafraid to die. I probably would have killed myself a long time ago if I had a gun. Facing death is the least cowardly thing you can do, in my opinion.

[/quote']

 

At one point in my life I considered suicide... I'd prefer to keep the exact reasons private., but let's just say my family went through some hardships and my life was not going so well.

 

But, I realize that I worded that wrong. What I mean is suicide is the cowardly way out of a situation. In most situations, suicide is not the way. In most situations there is a better option.

 

I do agree with you in a sense, though. Facing death IS probably the least cowardly a person could do, but committing suicide as an escape from certain problems is a cowardly way out, in most situations.

[HORUS]

Wait... What?

 

Suicide is for cowards.

 

Yo' date=' I'm quite uncowardly myself and I've considered suicide hundreds of times. Having severe depression, bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, and a severely low self-confidence can do that. I'm perfectly unafraid to die. I probably would have killed myself a long time ago if I had a gun. Facing death is the least cowardly thing you can do, in my opinion.

[/quote']

 

At one point in my life I considered suicide... I'd prefer to keep the exact reasons private., but let's just say my family went through some hardships and my life was not going so well.

 

But, I realize that I worded that wrong. What I mean is suicide is the cowardly way out of a situation. In most situations, suicide is not the way. In most situations there is a better option.

 

I do agree with you in a sense, though. Facing death IS probably the least cowardly a person could do, but committing suicide as an escape from certain problems is a cowardly way out, in most situations.

 

Definitely not the best choice in most situations, but when depression and anxiety come into play, it always seems like the right answer.

[Dismal Euphony]

Wait... What?

 

Suicide is for cowards.

 

Yo' date=' I'm quite uncowardly myself and I've considered suicide hundreds of times. Having severe depression, bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, and a severely low self-confidence can do that. I'm perfectly unafraid to die. I probably would have killed myself a long time ago if I had a gun. Facing death is the least cowardly thing you can do, in my opinion.

[/quote']

 

At one point in my life I considered suicide... I'd prefer to keep the exact reasons private., but let's just say my family went through some hardships and my life was not going so well.

 

But, I realize that I worded that wrong. What I mean is suicide is the cowardly way out of a situation. In most situations, suicide is not the way. In most situations there is a better option.

 

I do agree with you in a sense, though. Facing death IS probably the least cowardly a person could do, but committing suicide as an escape from certain problems is a cowardly way out, in most situations.

 

Definitely not the best choice in most situations, but when depression and anxiety come into play, it always seems like the right answer.

 

Indeed it does. Anxiety and depression kind of came into play a few years ago. That was the first and last time I've considered suicide. I'm pretty good at managing my anxiety anymore... My girlfriend's mom is also a psychologist of sorts so that kind of helps too.

[OMGAKITTY]

Looks like Soror and Horus have pretty much wrapped up this thread.

 

Suicide is cowardly, in the sense that you are running away from your problems. Not only that, but you leave devastation and sadness among people who actually care for you.

 

Meh. /2cents

[Dismal Euphony]

Looks like Soror and Horus have pretty much wrapped up this thread.

 

Suicide is cowardly' date=' in the sense that you are running away from your problems. [b']Not only that, but you leave devastation and sadness among people who actually care for you.[/b]

 

Meh. /2cents

 

Well said.

[GraveHorizon]

Assuming this thread accepts serious responses (which I also doubt), I considered suicide back when I was in high school. I dipped my toes in it and couldn't find a method with a tolerable amount of pain, so I'm still here. I'm over it now, but I felt terrible back then, and even took medication for a while (I'm voluntarily off it now, my life views aren't the same). I tried choking myself, taking pills, cutting my wrists, repeatedly banging my head against something violently, and hanging myself.

 

Now, before anyone thinks "Whoa, that's kind of fuc*ed up", I do have to remind you I was just testing the waters. The only thing I had to hang myself with was a PlayStation controller, which was too short and not strong enough; the pills I took weren't the lethal kind, because I couldn't find any; I got tired fast of hitting my head; the knife/razor blades were too dull to slice cleanly; and strangling myself by hand took too long and was easy to stop.

 

That's not to say I wasn't really trying, I just wanted the easiest/best method possible with the least amount of pain. It's like buying a car, or life insurance: you want to make sure everything is going to go absolutely right before you commit to it. I'm not really afraid of dying, but I'm scared of surviving with some sort of adverse effects, like nerve damage, or blindness (anti-freeze). The whole point of killing myself was to avoid pain.

 

I do realize that it would have been horrible for the people I left behind, but I just wanted to not live so badly. And I wouldn't exist anymore so I wouldn't have cared. Thankfully I didn't find a way to do it, because back then I didn't really have anyone who would try to stop me. I still have trouble sometimes seeing a reason to keep on living these days, but I just keep on moving through life, hoping to have a spark of inspiration. Or I might join the military.

[OMGAKITTY]

Assuming this thread accepts serious responses (which I also doubt)' date=' I considered suicide back when I was in high school. I dipped my toes in it and couldn't find a method with a tolerable amount of pain, so I'm still here. I'm over it now, but I felt terrible back then, and even took medication for a while (I'm voluntarily off it now, my life views aren't the same). I tried choking myself, taking pills, cutting my wrists, repeatedly banging my head against something violently, and hanging myself.

 

Now, before anyone thinks "Whoa, that's kind of fuc*ed up", I do have to remind you I was just testing the waters. The only thing I had to hang myself with was a PlayStation controller, which was too short and not strong enough; the pills I took weren't the lethal kind, because I couldn't find any; I got tired fast of hitting my head; the knife/razor blades were too dull to slice cleanly; and strangling myself by hand took too long and was easy to stop.

 

That's not to say I wasn't really trying, I just wanted the easiest/best method possible with the least amount of pain. It's like buying a car, or life insurance: you want to make sure everything is going to go absolutely right before you commit to it. I'm not really afraid of dying, but I'm scared of surviving with some sort of adverse effects, like nerve damage, or blindness (anti-freeze). The whole point of killing myself was to avoid pain.

 

I do realize that it would have been horrible for the people I left behind, but I just wanted to not live so badly. And I wouldn't exist anymore so I wouldn't have cared. Thankfully I didn't find a way to do it, because back then I didn't really have anyone who would try to stop me. I still have trouble sometimes seeing a reason to keep on living these days, but I just keep on moving through life, hoping to have a spark of inspiration. Or I might join the military.

[/quote']

 

To kill oneself is a terribly selfish thing to do.

 

Related trivia: More men successfully commit suicide than women.

[GraveHorizon]

Assuming this thread accepts serious responses (which I also doubt)' date=' I considered suicide back when I was in high school. I dipped my toes in it and couldn't find a method with a tolerable amount of pain, so I'm still here. I'm over it now, but I felt terrible back then, and even took medication for a while (I'm voluntarily off it now, my life views aren't the same). I tried choking myself, taking pills, cutting my wrists, repeatedly banging my head against something violently, and hanging myself.

 

Now, before anyone thinks "Whoa, that's kind of fuc*ed up", I do have to remind you I was just testing the waters. The only thing I had to hang myself with was a PlayStation controller, which was too short and not strong enough; the pills I took weren't the lethal kind, because I couldn't find any; I got tired fast of hitting my head; the knife/razor blades were too dull to slice cleanly; and strangling myself by hand took too long and was easy to stop.

 

That's not to say I wasn't really trying, I just wanted the easiest/best method possible with the least amount of pain. It's like buying a car, or life insurance: you want to make sure everything is going to go absolutely right before you commit to it. I'm not really afraid of dying, but I'm scared of surviving with some sort of adverse effects, like nerve damage, or blindness (anti-freeze). The whole point of killing myself was to avoid pain.

 

I do realize that it would have been horrible for the people I left behind, but I just wanted to not live so badly. And I wouldn't exist anymore so I wouldn't have cared. Thankfully I didn't find a way to do it, because back then I didn't really have anyone who would try to stop me. I still have trouble sometimes seeing a reason to keep on living these days, but I just keep on moving through life, hoping to have a spark of inspiration. Or I might join the military.

[/quote']

 

To kill oneself is a terribly selfish thing to do.

 

Related trivia: More men successfully commit suicide than women.

 

I appreciate the thoughtful reply from a person so well-versed in what would drive a person to commit such a life-affecting act.

[Amethyst Phoenix]

Assuming this thread accepts serious responses (which I also doubt)' date=' I considered suicide back when I was in high school. I dipped my toes in it and couldn't find a method with a tolerable amount of pain, so I'm still here. I'm over it now, but I felt terrible back then, and even took medication for a while (I'm voluntarily off it now, my life views aren't the same). I tried choking myself, taking pills, cutting my wrists, repeatedly banging my head against something violently, and hanging myself.

 

Now, before anyone thinks "Whoa, that's kind of fuc*ed up", I do have to remind you I was just testing the waters. The only thing I had to hang myself with was a PlayStation controller, which was too short and not strong enough; the pills I took weren't the lethal kind, because I couldn't find any; I got tired fast of hitting my head; the knife/razor blades were too dull to slice cleanly; and strangling myself by hand took too long and was easy to stop.

 

That's not to say I wasn't really trying, I just wanted the easiest/best method possible with the least amount of pain. It's like buying a car, or life insurance: you want to make sure everything is going to go absolutely right before you commit to it. I'm not really afraid of dying, but I'm scared of surviving with some sort of adverse effects, like nerve damage, or blindness (anti-freeze). The whole point of killing myself was to avoid pain.

 

I do realize that it would have been horrible for the people I left behind, but I just wanted to not live so badly. And I wouldn't exist anymore so I wouldn't have cared. Thankfully I didn't find a way to do it, because back then I didn't really have anyone who would try to stop me. I still have trouble sometimes seeing a reason to keep on living these days, but I just keep on moving through life, hoping to have a spark of inspiration. Or I might join the military.

[/quote']

 

To kill oneself is a terribly selfish thing to do.

 

Related trivia: More men successfully commit suicide than women.

 

That's because men generally utilize more lethal methods, such as firearms and jumping from high buildings, while women tend to try overdosing and hanging, which are more.....recoverable.

 

 

Facing death is brave.

 

Letting death win is weak-willed.

 

Seeking out death to prove your bravery is an exercise in foolishness.

[Death Bishop]

Don't do it.

 

And if any of you's are going to comment on my username, it's just a name.

[Milk-Chan]

Looks like Soror and Horus have pretty much wrapped up this thread.

 

Suicide is cowardly' date=' in the sense that you are running away from your problems. Not only that, but you leave devastation and sadness among people who actually care for you.

 

Meh. /2cents

[/quote']

 

I totally agree here. That woulda been my 2 cents =/

[Dweller of Parables]

Don't do it.

 

And if any of you's are going to comment on my username' date=' it's just a name.

[/quote']

 

<_< yea...

 

It's like saying don't drink and drive.

[六兆年と一夜物語]

They should label and name that book, "Suicide 101: How to commit it."

 

Above all, don't do it in Soviet Russia. Or else Suicides gonna commit you.

[Death Metal]

I've always though of suicide as a way to weed out the weak who can't deal with the harsh realities of life. Life isn't fair, nor is it suppose to be cheery or fun. If you seriously think of suicide as the only way out of a problem then you deserve to die.

 

I send my apologies out to anyone who thinks that's too harsh. =/

[Womi]

Life doesn't have a sense at all. If commit suicide, you must have had big problems. That's sure. Suicide is a solution but a bad one. So:

 

If you seriously think of suicide as the only way out of a problem then you deserve to die.

[Dweller of Parables]

I've always though of suicide as a way to weed out the weak who can't deal with the harsh realities of life. Life isn't fair' date=' nor is it suppose to be cheery or fun. If you seriously think of suicide as the only way out of a problem then you deserve to die.

 

I send my apologies out to anyone who thinks that's too harsh. =/

[/quote']

 

lol, nor is it suppose to be

_

These people just need help focusing on the reality of things and to not think short term. They need assistance in how to see the long run.

[Dark]

If I died, I think my (old) preist would have a party. He'd say I'd be going to hell. In fact, he has already called me Satan's child many time before. :D

 

Definitely not the best choice in most situations, but when depression and anxiety come into play, it always seems like the right answer.

 

You kinda stole what I was going to post. D:

[Dweller of Parables]

If I died' date=' I think my (old) preist would have a party. He'd say I'd be going to hell. In fact, he has already called me Satan's child many time before. :D

 

[i']Definitely not the best choice in most situations, but when depression and anxiety come into play, it always seems like the right answer.[/i]

 

You kinda stole what I was going to post. D:

 

"

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[Dark]

If I died' date=' I think my (old) preist would have a party. He'd say I'd be going to hell. In fact, he has already called me Satan's child many time before. :D

 

[i']Definitely not the best choice in most situations, but when depression and anxiety come into play, it always seems like the right answer.[/i]

 

You kinda stole what I was going to post. D:

 

"

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...and the lack thereof.

[Dweller of Parables]

If I died' date=' I think my (old) preist would have a party. He'd say I'd be going to hell. In fact, he has already called me Satan's child many time before. :D

 

[i']Definitely not the best choice in most situations, but when depression and anxiety come into play, it always seems like the right answer.[/i]

 

You kinda stole what I was going to post. D:

 

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Hoozah :P

[bury the year]

to ease the flow of money

 

Am I the only one who thinks of a urinary tract infection when hearing that phrase?

[Dark]

If I died' date=' I think my (old) preist would have a party. He'd say I'd be going to hell. In fact, he has already called me Satan's child many time before. :D

 

[i']Definitely not the best choice in most situations, but when depression and anxiety come into play, it always seems like the right answer.[/i]

 

You kinda stole what I was going to post. D:

 

"

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Hoozah :P

 

Hip hip!

 

Collarbone.

 

owait

 

[/fail]