Jump to content

Futility of Life


Felix Culpa

Recommended Posts

Well, let us view the possible endings to the earth. Currently, I have made a few likely theories, and some completely implausible ones, just for "teh lulz".

 

Likely Theory #1:

The Andromeda Galaxy crashes into the Milky Way, causing the sun to spin rapidly out of the galaxy.

Scientific Evidence: Our galaxies have been doing a Celestial Dance for billions upon trillions of years, sometimes closer, sometimes farther away. Scientists predict that this is a likely way the world would end...

Don't Worry: They say it won't happen for another 5 billion years, so unless you cryogenically freeze yourself, I wouldn't worry too much about this.

 

Likely Theory #2:

Supernova

Scientific Evidence: Well, stars of our suns variety, that support rocky planets are known as "secondary stars". These stars normally produce supernova, or the explosion of a star, when they run out of hydrogen to fuse into helium. Then, it stars burning helium and explodes in size, turning from yellowish-red to white, and engulfs the first 4 planets, and the asteroid belt.

Don't Worry: Once again, it is for another 4-6 billion years away, and unless your great-great-great (so on so forth) grandchild is on Jupiter, I wouldn't worry.

 

Implausible Theory #1:

Dec. 21, 2012

Scientific Evidence: None, of course.

Why we believe so: Those Mayan people, who pretty much figured out the modern calendar, (besides the fact that the current calendar was invented by a CHRISTIAN monk in circa 546 AD), ended theirs on the same day as 12/21/12.

My Opinion: FREAK OUT COMPLETELY! KILL YOURSELF BEFORE IT HAPPENS! So I can steal money from your dead bodies!!!!

 

Implausible Theory #2:

Robots Overpower their Human Overlords

Scientific Evidence: None, still.

Why we believe so: Well, sci-fi writers can't be wrong, can they?

A non-professional Prescription: Stop worrying. Your calculator won't be- hold on. Mine's trying to kill my family.

 

Implausible Theory #3

11/11/11

Scientific Evidence: I said so. That's enough.

Why we believe so: All ones in a date! AH! FREAK!

My opinion: The only way to be safe is to donate all your money to the "Save the World from 11/11/11 Foundation" founded by me. That's the only surefire method.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The sun is not the kind of star that explodes. It will become a red giant and after that a white dwarf.

About 2112: The poles will move, big deal. That happens every 13000 or 26000 years. Most animals we know already existed last time it happened, and they are still around here.

Robots: That's the most reasonable answer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...