.Impact Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 here they are first picture cred goes to wanderly...as usual and secondgoes to a friend of mines deviant art account sportsplayer This card can only be Special Summoned if you control 1 face-up, "Inferno Blaze" on your field. This card gains 200 ATK and DEF for each FIRE monster in your Graveyard. If this card is destroyed by your opponent's card effect, you can Special Summon up to 3 FIRE monsters with an ATK of 1900 or less. If this card is destroyed by battle, you can destroy all Spell and Trap cards on the field. If, "Inferno Blaze" is removed from your field, destroy this card immediatly. There can only be 1 face-up "Dragrok, Lava Ork" on the field at one time. This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Summoned by removing from play 3 FIRE monsters from your Graveyard. Your opponent cannot attack any other FIRE monsters as long as this card is face-up on your field. Once per turn you can Special Summon 1 "Blaze Token" (Pyro-Type/FIRE/level 4/ATK 0/ DEF 1700) in face-up Defense Position. Once per turn, you can Release 1 "Blaze Token" in order to Special Summon 1 level 6 or lower FIRE monster. When this card is removed from the field destroy all "Blaze Tokens," and any monsters that were Special Summoned by this effect. For each "Blaze Token" that is destroyed, you lose 500 Life Points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 the drawbacks of the tokens makes Inferno Blaze well balanced out Lava Ork's effect of special summoning up to 3 FIRE monsters is considered Oped though, I would only allow one. Either that or lower the atk of the 3 FIRE monsters summoned, and say they can't attack, use their effects, or be used for tribute or synchro summon that turn 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Impact Posted October 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 thanks for the points ill probably change that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Impact Posted October 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 plz rate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~ P O L A R I S ~ Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 These're well made cards, they remind me of a FIRE Set I made as a younger boy, but they're nothing to get past my brutal "hawk eye" evaluation. ;D I don't do this sort of thing often, but used to in contests and for random cards I happen to come across. Inferno Blaze OCG: This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 3 FIRE monsters from your Graveyard. Your opponent cannot select another FIRE monster you control as an attack target. Once per turn, you can Special Summon 1 "Blaze Token" (Pyro-Type/FIRE/Level 4/ATK 0/DEF 1700) in face-up Defense Position. Once per turn, you can Tribute 1 "Blaze Token" in order to Special Summon 1 Level 6 or lower FIRE monster from your hand. When this card is removed from the field, destroy all monsters Special Summoned by this card's effect on the field and take 500 damage for each destroyed Token. -"This card can only be Summoned by..." = "This card can only be Special Summoned by...", as that's always been the errata after "This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set." for semi-nomis. -"Your opponent cannot attack any other FIRE monsters as long as this card is face-up on your field." = "Your opponent cannot select another FIRE monster you control as an attack target." as seen on "Magician's Valkyria". Never use "your field". If you have to, use "your side of the field" instead. "is" should be "remains", but it shouldn't anymore , as "as long as this card remains face-up on your side of the field", isn't used for Continuous effects anymore. It's just assumed now. See the errata'd "Jinzo" for an example of this transition. -Always use a comma after "Once per turn". -(Pyro-Type/FIRE/level 4/ATK 0/ DEF 1700) = (Pyro-Type/FIRE/Level 4/ATK 0/DEF 1700)The "L" in Level should always be capitalized and "DEF" should always be right after the slash in Token stat displays, not after a space after the slash. -"Release" = "Tribute". English cards never use "Release", that's just what's translated from Japanese cards when we get previews from Shriek, it's never actually used on English cards. -"in order to = to". It's just your cost, then "to", not "in order to". -"level 6" = "Level 6", always cap the "L" in Level as I said earlier. ;D -Where are you Special Summoning the Level 6 or lower FIRE monster from? Your hand? Your Deck? Elaborate. I used "hand" in my fix as it seemed to be the most valid. -"When this card is removed from the field destroy all "Blaze Tokens," and any monsters that were Special Summoned by this effect. For each "Blaze Token" that is destroyed, you lose 500 Life Points." = "When this card is removed from the field, destroy all monsters Special Summoned by this card's effect on the field and take 500 damage for each destroyed Token." Use a comma after your Trigger for the effect, in this case "When this card is removed from the field". Tokens are monsters, so you can just count them towards monsters Special Summoned by this card's effect, you don't have to separate them in to 2 categories. "You lose ___ Life Points" is "You take ___ damage", just as "your opponent loses ___ Life Points" is "inflict ___ damage to your opponent" when having someone take damage by your card effect. You can also reference "for each destroyed Token" from "Token Feastevil" if you have any doubts as to the accuracy. ;D Name and Picture: "Inferno Blaze" seems slightly "generic FIRE monster" to me, could use a bit more spice to it but it's fine. ;) Can recognize the monster in the picture as "Blaze" from "Mortal Kombat". Perhaps a little Pop Culture influence there eh? Try to avoid this. It's unrealistic. =) Effect Quality: Good length and good connections. Me likey. ;D Balance: Whether it's balanced or not depends largely on where you're Special Summoning the Level 6 or lower FIRE monsters from. If from the Deck and/or, I'm thinking it's a little risqué. If from the hand, you should be fine. Specify that please, I'd use "hand". ;D Details of Realism: "Fire / Rock" is not a Type. Please use existing Types for Realism. You're not making a whole Set of new Types and this can easily be a Pyro-Type, so make it so. Otherwise, you're good for details. Nice Set ID and circulation, though the number there after "EN"'s a little high, I could fathom its possibility when we have sets as large as Dark Beginning and Dark Revolution reprint sets. Dragrok, Inferno Ork OCG: This card can only be Special Summoned while you control 1 face-up "Inferno Blaze". This card gains 200 ATK and DEF for each FIRE monster in your Graveyard. If this card is destroyed by your opponent's card effect, you can Special Summon up to 3 FIRE monsters with an ATK of 1900 or less. If this card is destroyed by battle, you can destroy all Spell and Trap cards on the field. If, "Inferno Blaze" is removed from your field, destroy this card immediatly. There can only be 1 face-up "Dragrok, Lava Ork" on the field at one time. -"This card can only be Special Summoned if you control 1 face-up, "Inferno Blaze" on your field." = "This card can only be Special Summoned while you control 1 face-up "Inferno Blaze." I used "Burst Stream of Destruction" as a reference point. "if you control..." should be "while you control..." in activation/Summoning conditions. Don't use a comma between "face-up" and the card name. Don't use "on your field", it's already redundant from the "you control 1 face-up", it's not in the "Burst Stream of Destruction" reference, and "on your field" should never be used ever. -"If this card is destroyed by battle, you can destroy all Spell and Trap cards on the field." = "When this card is destroyed by battle, you can destroy all Spell and Trap Cards on the field." as referenced on Gigantes, and due to the rule that it has to be "When this card is destroyed by battle", not "If". "Cards", when used after "Monster" as in "Monster Cards" or "Spell and Trap" as in "Spell and Trap Cards", etc, should be capitalized. -"If, "Inferno Blaze" is removed from your field, destroy this card immediatly." = "This card is destroyed if "Inferno Blaze" is removed from the field." as referenced on "Avalanching Aussa". For future reference, avoid the use of unnecessary commas like the one after "If" there. -"There can only be 1 face-up "Dragrok, Lava Ork" on the field at one time." = "You can only control 1 "Dragrok, Lava Ork" monster." as referenced on "Grandmaster of the Six Samurai". Always use "1" instead of "one" in card effect texts. Name/Picture: Dragrok seems slightly odd as a name as "Drag" suggests a "Dragon" them, which this card lacks. Try "Pyreok" or something along those lines. Great picture. ;D Effect Quality: Good length again. It seems to have the theme of being reliant and dependent on "Inferno Blaze" to do its thing, so it doesn't make much sense for it to be Normal Summon/Setable. Add "This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set" at the start. Balance: Its power and vulnerabilties seem fairly well balanced, but there's a sort of a domino effect if "Inferno Blaze" bites the dust. Might want to add some benefit to when it's destroyed by "Inferno Blaze" being removed from the field, such as inflicting damage or Special Summoning up a storm. Details of Realism: "LIMITED EDTION" is missing an "I". Should be "LIMITED EDITION". 982 is too high for a number of cards in a Set based on the trends we've seen. Try to keep it below 300, should be below 100 in most cases but 100-300 is acceptable based on Dark Beginning/Revolution reprint sets. Hope that helps, should you need any further help, PM me and I'll do what I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Impact Posted October 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 wow thats probably the most effort put into to something like that ive evr seen and coming from u it means a lot +rep my good man thanks i will fix those Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eury Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 ~P O L A R I S ~....I'm scared. You have a lot of time on your hands don't you? Anyways I pretty much agree w/ what he said. 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Impact Posted October 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 ha or hes just the smartest guy on this face of the earth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightmare drake Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 good pics 9/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Impact Posted October 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 please dont just comment on pics yes they are good cause there made by good artists but lets not forget the effects Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gustavosuarez Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 great pics. the idea is gppd. nice cards. 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Impact Posted October 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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