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My first card


TheVaron

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My first Card. How is it.

 

216991.jpg

 

This monster cannot be normal summoned or set. This monster can only be Special Summoned by tributing 2 "Broken Mind". This monster cannot be destroyed by battle (Damage calculation is applied normally). When this card battles an opponents monster your opponent takes battle damage equal to the battle damage you took. If this monster is destroyed by a card effect other than the effects of "White Coats" or "Haldol" take damage equal to the combined attack of all monsters on your opponent's side of the field

 

216991m.jpg

 

If a "Psychosis" monster you control would be destroyed by a magic, trap, or monster effect activate this card. The monster that would be destroyed is destroyed by this effect instead. Then take control of one of your opponents monsters for 3 of your opponent's turns after this cards activation

 

I know long effects. Please rate and make suggestions :D :D :D :D

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In Realistic Cards, it's highly advised to not use real pictures like on White Coats. Use drawn works instead.

 

Lessee the lores...

 

Schizophrenia - The Demon

"This monster cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This monster can only be Special Summoned by Tributing 2 "Broken Mind". This monster cannot be destroyed by battle (Damage calculation is applied normally). If this card is destroyed by battle and you have been inflicted Battle Damage, inflict an equivalent amount of Battle Damage to your opponent. If this monster is destroyed by another effect than the effect of "White Coats" or "Haldol", you lose an amount of Life Points equivalent to the added ATK of all of the monsters on your opponent's Field."

 

White Coats

"You may only activate this card if a "Psychosis" monster you control is destroyed by a Spell, Trap, or Monster Effect. The monster that is destroyed is considered destroyed by the effect of this card. Take control of one of your opponent's monsters for the next 3 turns following the activation of this card."

 

Still in the era of "Magic" Cards? That's old OCG, lol. But glad you are, it's fine to see long-time players.

 

EDIT: I realized that with my OCG fixes, your Schizophrenia monster is completely useless if you want to use it for attacking... so give him some ATK/DEF, or correct me if I did something wrong...

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Thanks guys didnt think about the whole realistic pic thing.

Uhm the idea of the Skitzo monster is that he is like a weaker version of yubel. Because instead of destroying the monster and forcing your opponent to take the damage you both take damage equal to what you would have. If thats what you meant?

 

Whoops just realized you made it say he cant be destroyed by battle and then you said if this card is destroyed by battle. was this intentional and i am just missing something?

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Not bad, the image are lacking a bit, and the OCG fixes have been posted.

 

The first card seems underpowered, even though it has a Ring of Destruction type effect, your opponent still keeps their monster, and the last effect just exaggerates the underpoweredness.

 

Also, it needs to have a real type.

 

The second card looks alright, would defiantly benefit the first card to play them in conjunction.

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The picture and name of the first card is epic. :D However, the effect, as previously stated, is underpowered. Your opponent has more benefit from this card than you do. Example:

 

You need to tribute to summon it, so you lose 2 monsters.

The effect inflicts the same amount of damage to you as your opponent. To make it more balanced, make it so you take no battle damage involving the demon.

 

I would suggest making those changes, and correcting the errors previously mentioned.

Happy cardmaking! :D

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