kidchaor Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 hello YCM i am going to make a new novel and i am going to post this blog post as a sneak peek of what to expect in the novel. overview:The year is 2020 in an abandoned warehouse at the harbor of tokyo a government organization kidnaps teenagers and put them through a series of tests. the unlucky ones get killed while those who showed promise were altered into something that would assist the government into domination. the project was known as CHIBI: Chemically enhanced. Headhunter. Initialization. Beatdown. Intel. the CHIBI are a group of super soldiers whose purpose is to hunt and kill. after there alteration they were trained in arts both modern and ancient: blades, archery, magick, gunslinging, piloting, running, and many more. they have altered there cells to make them indestructable and can never be killed(the weakness hass been well kept hidden) there eyes have been improved to be able to see in the dark and equipped with thermal images. meanwhile at a boat another organization is at work. The Hand of Shadows are at close work to rescue the CHIBI from the government to prevent them from using the androids for global domination. the captured teenagers were: Sakura Van Claude, Balfang Van Claude, and Jack Sinestra. there is a problem: anyone who have been altered can never be who they were. the chemical is a fusion of sulfuric acid, uranium, and nuclear reactor acid. the chemical is known as SHADE. there physical apperance has changed. there hair changed to bright blue and they where a black and red glass armor which cannot be destroyed as well. theres a sneak peek to my new novel. i havent chosen a name for it so i will take suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skuldur Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Gah! Wall of text and poor grammar. >=O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyndaquil Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Gah! Wall of text and poor grammar. >=O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Gah! Wall of text and poor grammar. >=O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Light Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Gah! Wall of text and poor grammar. >=O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Poison Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 hello YCM i am going to make a new novel and i am going to post this blog post as a sneak peek of what to expect in the novel. overview:The year is 2020 in an abandoned warehouse at the harbor of tokyo a government organization kidnaps teenagers and put them through a series of tests. the unlucky ones get killed while those who showed promise were altered into something that would assist the government into domination. the project was known as CHIBI: Chemically enhanced. Headhunter. Initialization. Beatdown. Intel. the CHIBI are a group of super soldiers whose purpose is to hunt and kill. after there alteration they were trained in arts both modern and ancient: blades' date=' archery, magick, gunslinging, piloting, running, and many more. they have altered there cells to make them indestructable and can never be killed(the weakness hass been well kept hidden) there eyes have been improved to be able to see in the dark and equipped with thermal images. meanwhile at a boat another organization is at work. The Hand of Shadows are at close work to rescue the CHIBI from the government to prevent them from using the androids for global domination. the captured teenagers were: Sakura Van Claude, Balfang Van Claude, and Jack Sinestra. there is a problem: anyone who have been altered can never be who they were. the chemical is a fusion of sulfuric acid, uranium, and nuclear reactor acid. the chemical is known as SHADE. there physical apperance has changed. there hair changed to bright blue and they where a black and red glass armor which cannot be destroyed as well. theres a snea peek to my new novel. i havent chosen a name for it so i will take suggestions.[/quote'] Please don't make it, we already have too many shitty books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Try Fan Fic section. This isn't meant to be here. But, I cannot solely judge until you start the actual story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Phoenix Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 hello YCM i am going to make a new novel and i am going to post this blog post as a sneak peek of what to expect in the novel. YCM is a blog? When did this happen? Good luck with the novel thing. overview:The year is 2020 in an abandoned warehouse at the harbor of tokyo a government organization kidnaps teenagers and put them through a series of tests. That's a long name for a harbor...... the unlucky ones get killed while those who showed promise were altered into something that would assist the government into domination. Wait' date=' so people enter the harbor, a test of luck is performed, and then they're trained to help politicians get into BDSM? [/i'] the project was known as CHIBI: Chemically enhanced. Headhunter. Initialization. Beatdown. Intel. So the genetically altered dominatrices get high and go head hunting. I got lost right about there. What are they initializing? They're initializing beatdown intel? OH MY GOD, THE PRESIDENT OF JAPAN IS HAVING TEMPTRESSES TORTURE THE OTHER POLITICIANS TO FIND OUT WHERE THE IMPERIAL ESPRESSO MACHINE IS?! the CHIBI are a group of super soldiers whose purpose is to hunt and kill. ......retcon much after there After where? alteration they were trained in arts both modern and ancient: blades, archery, magick, gunslinging, piloting, running, and many more. Our temptresses were converted into god mode sues? Awwww they have altered there cells to make them indestructable and can never be killed(the weakness hass been well kept hidden) How are they indestructible if they have a weakness? Also, way to spoil the plot. I wanted the reveal that they're weak to hass to be a surprise DX there eyes have been improved to be able to see in the dark and equipped with thermal images. Their eyes have images of hot beverage containers? ASTOUNDING! meanwhile at a boat another organization is at work. Why does the boat have such a long name too? The Hand of Shadows are at close work to rescue the CHIBI from the government to prevent them from using the androids for global domination. Why were they genetically altered if they were just going to be turned into robots? What a waste of resources >_> Is the Hand of Shadows special ability to use a plural verb with a singular pronoun? I'm shaking in my boots. the captured teenagers were: Sakura Van Claude, Balfang Van Claude, and Jack Sinestra. Totally Japanese names there. there is a problem: anyone who have been altered can never be who they were. Altered generally means changed. You might as well have said "The altered people were altered! the chemical is a fusion of sulfuric acid, uranium, and nuclear reactor acid. the chemical is known as SHADE. That's totally not going to burn their throats out before it takes effect. Thanks you for sparing us a silly acronym this time.there physical apperance has changed. there hair changed to bright blue and they where a black and red glass armor which cannot be destroyed as well. You know, because indestructible people totally need armor. Totally. theres a snea peek to my new novel. i havent chosen a name for it so i will take suggestions. How about generic B-movie fail? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGAKITTY Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Time to crush another hopeful writers dreams. The year is 2020 in an abandoned warehouse at the harbor of tokyo a government organization kidnaps teenagers and put them through a series of tests.HOORAY FOR RUN ON SENTENCES! the unlucky ones get killed while those who showed promise were altered into something that would assist the government into domination.I think I saw a manga about this once. the project was known as CHIBI: Chemically enhanced. Headhunter. Initialization. Beatdown. Intel.This is an idiotic acronym that doesn't make any sense. And it spells chibi, which is stupid. the CHIBI are a group of super soldiers whose purpose is to hunt and kill. after there alteration they were trained in arts both modern and ancient: blades, archery, magickLOLMAGICK, gunslinging, piloting, running, and many more. they have altered there cells to make them indestructable and can never be killed(the weakness hass been well kept hidden)IF THEY'RE INDESTRUCTIBLE, THEY HAVE NO WEAKNESS!!!! there eyes have been improved to be able to see in the dark and equipped with thermal images. meanwhile at a boat another organization is at work. The Hand of Shadows are at close work to rescue the CHIBI from the government to prevent them from using the androids for global domination.What the funk? Look up the definition of androids. noob. the captured teenagers were: Sakura Van Claude, Balfang Van Claude, and Jack Sinestra YES, THE JAPANESE GOVERNMENT HAS CAPTURED 3 NON-JAPANESE TEENS. YES.. there is a problem: anyone who have been altered can never be who they were. the chemical is a fusion of sulfuric acid, uranium, and nuclear reactor acid.LOL WAY TO KILL THEM WITH THREE TOXIC CHEMICALS THAT WOULD NEVER GIVE THEM THE AFOREMENTIONED POWERS the chemical is known as SHADE. there physical apperance has changed. there hair changed to bright blue and they where a black and red glass armor which cannot be destroyed as well. This is the stupidest idea I have ever heard of. Actually worse than Twilight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Omega Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Wow, very original story! I love it bro! Go publish it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidchaor Posted November 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 some time in a couple of weeks i will post the first chapterof the novel in 3 different sites( this site being one.) i am still thinking on a title that would best fit this story so any suggestions would be appreciated. i will check back during my activity period(about 1300 hours) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HORUS Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 some time in a couple of weeks i will post the first chapterof the novel in 3 different sites( this site being one.) i am still thinking on a title that would best fit this story so any suggestions would be appreciated. i will check back during my activity period(about 1300 hours) I like the title "Absolute Stupidity: An Exercise In Retardation." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidchaor Posted November 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 some time in a couple of weeks i will post the first chapterof the novel in 3 different sites( this site being one.) i am still thinking on a title that would best fit this story so any suggestions would be appreciated. i will check back during my activity period(about 1300 hours) I like the title "Absolute Stupidity: An Exercise In Retardation." sorry but that tilte is not appropriate for the novel so rejected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Light Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 some time in a couple of weeks i will post the first chapterof the novel in 3 different sites( this site being one.) i am still thinking on a title that would best fit this story so any suggestions would be appreciated. i will check back during my activity period(about 1300 hours) I like the title "Absolute Stupidity: An Exercise In Retardation." sorry but that tilte is not appropriate for the novel so rejected. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zimiri of the Muse Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 um... sounds like a good story so far... umm how about "Shade: battle for the right to live" as a title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blamonchesix Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Uh... well... how do I put it... Is this in a serious genre or a comedy genre? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidchaor Posted November 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 @eliteduelists: Shade: battle for the right to live: that sounds very catchy. good idea.@blamonchesix: it is a serous genre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sander Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 @blamonchesix: it is a serous genre. Seriously? A serious genre? You have a project named "CHIBI" in your story, you can't possibly be serious <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
六兆年と一夜物語 Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Oh, god, not this bullsh!t again. Why didn't you learn your lesson before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sander Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Oh' date=' god, not this bullsh!t again. Why didn't you learn your lesson before?[/quote'] Didn't you know? N00bs never learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charizard Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Wtf? A Organization which kidnaps teenagers, Chibi and Shade? Oh' date=' god, not this bullsh!t again. Why didn't you learn your lesson before?[/quote'] Didn't you know? N00bs never learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Altair Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Another 10 year old who thinks he can write a novel and get famous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezio Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Another 10 year old who thinks he can write a novel and get famous. Hurray for YCM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Koolio Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Delicious. I had to chance to enjoy my burrito from lunch all over again when I vomited upon reading this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadshotMagnet Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Another 10 year old who thinks he can write a novel and get famous.^This...Big Time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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