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Is there some sort of secret to being nice


~Shore

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Tips?

 

Think about what you are gaining/going to gain from being nice' date=' and act nice acordingly.

[/quote']

 

I don't understand...

Gain what?

 

Depends.

I can think about what I can gain if I was nice to you. If I find something worth being nice to you for, I'll be nice.

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Guest JoshIcy

Tips?

 

Think about what you are gaining/going to gain from being nice' date=' and act nice acordingly.

[/quote']

 

I don't understand...

Gain what?

 

Depends.

I can think about what I can gain if I was nice to you. If I find something worth being nice to you for, I'll be nice.

 

Then pardon me and Fireworks here. But being nice and being polite to gain something is totally different. At least imo, and he agreed on MSN.

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Guest Zeonark

Tips?

 

Think about what you are gaining/going to gain from being nice' date=' and act nice acordingly.

[/quote']

 

I don't understand...

Gain what?

 

Friendship. Obviously.

 

Just act nice really. There is no way to explain to how act like it. Except, don't be a jerk. Problem solved.

 

If you're tempted to act like one, don't do it unless you know what's coming next.

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It's hard' date=' it really iiiiiiiiiis. I wanna be nice, I hate feeling like such a duche all the time, but there are just so many people I despise or who piss me off that it's hard to just smile through it all. Any tips?

[/quote']

 

And what do these people that you despise/piss you off do? Just ignore them :/

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Being nice isn't something you do for gain. Being nice is just something you should do.

 

Being nice extends to all levels though. Don't think you're better than someone else because you're nice either.

 

I was going to say something else, but I looked at this and completely agreed. :)

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Guest Chaos Pudding

Hooray' date=' I feel better.

Um, explain?

[/quote']

 

Do you know how to emphasize? That's all you really need in order to be nice. If you're able to understand how people feel, then there's no problem being nice.

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I don't think I have much problem empathizing with people. The problem is that I'm decidedly self-centered. It's hard for me not to do things for myself. I go about my day and try to have a good time, and in doing so I get in other people's way more than I want to, often unintentionally. I'm a loud person, I take up a lot of space and I can be annoying, and yet I really enjoy being that person, but after the initial fun is over, I end up feeling bad about all the people I irritated or whose spotlight I tried to steal. I can be "nice" so to speak, if I try, but its still for personal gain, it's still to get rid of that bad feeling, it's still just so I can feel good about myself before I go off and have more selfish fun. Its not so much the social skills required for niceness that I don't understand, it's the selflessness. Some people are naturally unselfish, but I have this deeply rooted "it's all about me attitude" that gives me good times and bad times but often ends up making me feel bad about myself in the end, because I always want to be the star but when I see the stars in real life, the people who go out of their way to distinguish themselves and be noticed, they often seem like complete duchebags, and its the humble people who come off as the real heroes. But I'm not humble, I don't just do things for the sake of doing them, I do them because I want to be noticed. I want to entertain people, but I also want to entertain myself, I have a tendency to shove myself down people's throats and by the time I realize that I just need to shut the hell up I realize it's too late.

 

When I made this thread, it was just a sort of an afterthought. I was thinking about myself, again, and considering myself a duche, and wanting to be better, but I never really defined the problem. Its selfishness. I can be nice, but its so easy to do it for selfish reasons.

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