Jord200 Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 I've made a yugioh fan fic. In a land where the only weather is snow, our story takes place.current charecters Duke Rosiroa age 15, duelist PROLOGE "Not long until dark. Might as well camp here for tonight." said Duke. A robed figure appears. "Are you the pro duelist Duke Rosiroa?" asked the figure. "Depends, who are you?" replyed Duke. "That is not important. We will duel. Now." responded the figure. "Fine." said Duke. "LETS DUEL!" the two said. Duke's turn LP4000 Summons Shiba Warrior Taro in def. ???'s turn LP4000 Summons Gene Warped Werewolf in atk. Duke's turn LP4000 Summons Cold Enchanter. Plays Double Summon. Summons Krebons. Tunes Shiba with Cold Enchanter to synchro summon Broinac, Dragon of the Ice Barrier. Activates Brionac's effect and returns werewolf to hand. Tunes Krebons with Brionac to synchro summon Red Dragon Archfiend. Attacks with Red Dragon Archfiend. ??? LP1000 ???'s turn LP1000 Plays Lightning Vortex and destroys Red Dragon Archfiend. Sends Gemeni Elf, Gene Waroed Werewolf, and Cyber Dragon to special summon Montage Dragon with an attack of 4200. Attacks with Montage Dragon.Duke LP0 WINNER ???The force of the attack knocks Duke off the edge of the cliff, and sends him falling into the snow below. As he lays unconsiousm three new figures appear."Oh my. Is he ok?" wondered a figure. "Don't know sis. He's in bad shape. We need to get him to the house, he won't last too long otherwise." said a second figure. "Shall we head home?" said he third figure. "Indeed." responded the first. The 3rd figure picks Duke up and the three move along while Duke is a deep sleep, having a dream that will help him extremely. A dream that could spell disaster for all. And so our story begins..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jord200 Posted March 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorm13 Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 "Summons X. Plays Y. Attacks with Z."Do you realize how boring it is to read something like that? At the very least, try to write in full sentences. With some dialogue thrown in someone might want to read that. The non-duel part of the story is not that bad, but with what little you've written so far I can't judge it well. If you don't like writing about duels, that's okay. I've seen some rather nice duel-less stories. But if you write a story including duels, try to make them enjoyable for your readers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jord200 Posted March 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jord200 Posted March 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 bump..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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