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Psyren: Second Calling { Accepting / Not Started } - OOC

bury the year

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bury the year Newbie

bury the year

Posted
Posted

 

Spoilers for the manga may follow. Don't blame me if you ruin it for yourselves. I warned you.

 

[spoiler=Plot]All across the nation of Japan, phones have been ringing. When people pick them up, a young female voice gives them an audio quiz, and upon completion, they receive a red card. Many of them discount it as a prank, but the few who keep them are lured away to an otherworldly place by the ringing of an unseen telephone. Fighting for their survival, these people develop psychic powers, seemingly an addition to their arsenal to unravel the mystery of the world of Psyren. What does it all mean? Why is everything strangely familiar?

 

(To cut it short, standard Psyren plot. Starting at the beginning, e.g. around the time of chapter 1.)

[spoiler=Rules]1) Advanced Clause applies. 2 paragraphs of 5 decent sentences each per IC post, no script format, and no expying of characters from other RPs or media sources.

2) Do not god-mod, meta-game, or power-play.

3) If you go off-tangent in this thread, I will warn you with my modly skills.

4) There will be a post order system implemented in this RP. What this means is that everyone will make their IC posts in a specific order, unless someone is gone for a significant period. (In this case, they will be skipped.) The order will be determined upon beginning of the RP.

5) When filling out the application, remove all text in {curly brackets} and replace it with the appropriate information. Do not edit anything else.

6) To show that you've read these rules, send me a PM with the title being "I CAN HAZ APP CONFIRM?"

 

[spoiler=Application]

[spoiler={Account Name} - {Character Surname}, {Character First Name}][b]Name:[/b] {Japanese ethnicity, please. I don’t care how you get it, as long as it’s real. If you have a legitimate reason for making a foreigner, post it.} 
[b]Age:[/b] {Self-explanatory.}
[b]Gender:[/b] {Male or female?}
[b]Profession:[/b] {Student, bartender, prostitute?}
[b]Character Theme:[/b] [url={YouTube link here.}]{Name here.}[/url]
[b]Appearance:[/b] {1 nice paragraph, please. Include distinguishing marks.}
[b]Personality:[/b] {2 nice paragraphs, please.}
[b]Fighting Method:[/b] {Weaponry used, if necessary, and also whether they are a strength-type, speed-type, etc. If your character doesn't fight (which 70-odd-percent shouldn't initially,) leave this blank.}
[b]Psyren Contact:[/b] {Just post a short blurb on when and how your character got the red card.}
[b]Red Card Points:[/b] 100
[b]PSI Points:[/b][list][b]Burst:[/b] 0
[b]Trance:[/b] 0
[b]Rise:[/b] 0
[b]Cure:[/b] 0
[b]Visions:[/b] 0[/list]
[b]Abilities:[/b][list]n/a[/list]
[b]Inventory:[/b][list][*]{What kinds of things you bring to Psyren.}
[*]{Keep it in a list format.}
[*]{Remember, the first trip doesn't give you any planning.}[/list][/spoiler]

[i]I, [/i]{ACCOUNT NAME HERE}[i], understands that Rinne may ask for edits on my app at any time and can refuse it if my app is not satisfactory. I will not throw a shitstorm if this happens. I have also read and agreed to all rules applying to this RP.[/i]

 

[spoiler=PSI System]This RP will be using an RPG-esque point system to accurately reflect how characters develop over time in their PSI. To do this, I will be distributing PSI points to characters when they complete missions, train, or generally show improvement in their skills. These points can be sorted into 5 categories which represent the 5 known types of PSI.

 

However, these points only show the amount of mastery over that type of PSI. The real abilities are unique to each user, and are usually aligned with whatever PSI type the user is most proficient in. Programs can also be used to amplify an ability's possible usages, making it that more fearsome.

 

Finally, although they don't have much to do with PSI, the Red Card Points should be mentioned. Each character starts with 100, and every visit to Psyren saps a few. When the total hits 0, the owner of the card will no longer be called to Psyren. This number cannot be increased.

 

[spoiler=Terms]Abilities - Usually aligned under the strongest type of one's PSI, these are signature attacks and adaptations that are unique to each person. Each character may only have one major ability, but can use programs to further enhance and manipulate it.

 

Burst - A type of PSI marked by external manipulation of the environment. Common forms of Burst manifest as telekinesis, element control, or materialization. Burst is probably the most offensively-capable, but also the most difficult to control. (A Naruto analogy would be ninjutsu.)

 

Cure - A type of PSI marked by healing oneself and others or manipulating the flow of life in beings. Cure is a hybrid type and is made by combining Burst and Trance.

 

Nemesis Q - A bizarre creature that appears when people are sent to Psyren and is presumed to be orchestrating the entire event.

 

Programs - If your ability is the major usage of PSI, then programs are the sub-adaptations. They are specific sets of mental instructions used with one's PSI in order to get modified effects. Programs must be trained extensively, and cannot be mastered from the get-go.

 

PSI - The basic powers of humans in Psyren, it is based around using one's full mental capacity instead of the normal 10%. Excessive use results in headaches and possible death from overexertion. There are 3 basic types and 2 hybrids: Burst, Trance, Rise, Cure, and Visions.

 

Psyren - People are sent here and called back by telephones for an unknown reason. The Tavoo monsters reside here, and are hungry for any unfortunate people who travel into their domains. To exit Psyren, you must find the ringing telephone which is mentally broadcast upon arrival. Those who survive Psyren for the first time develop a bad nosebleed and fever for 24 hours, and receive PSI powers afterwards. It takes the form of a deserted post-apocalyptic world with strangely-familiar landmarks.

 

Red Card - Received by filling out the phone exam, a red card is proof of one traveling to Psyren. Owning one puts a subliminal PSI program on the holder that will turn them to dust if they speak of Psyren to a non-card holder.

 

Rise - A type of PSI marked by manipulation of one's self. Common forms of Burst manifest as increased reflexes, strength, or endurance. Burst is probably the most battle-capable and the one that is most required to fight with. (A Naruto analogy would be taijutsu.)

 

Tavoo - Insectoid or humanoid stitched-up monsters that prowl Psyren, these are the major current enemies. All of them have a light-emitting core on some part of their body which functions as a weak spot of sorts. Destroying it destroys the body.

 

Trance - A type of PSI marked by manipulation of the minds of oneself and others. Common forms of Trance manifest as telepathy, mind control, and illusion generation. Trance is probably the most difficult to use properly, but also the most deadly and difficult to escape. (A Naruto analogy would be genjutsu.)

 

Visions - A type of PSI marked by getting information about things that have not yet come to pass or that are from different worlds. Visions is a hybrid type and is made by combining Trance and Rise.

 

[spoiler=Accepted Characters][spoiler=magnet soldier - Kaizuka, Akihiko (貝塚晶彦)]Name: Akihiko Kaizuka

Age: 21

Gender: Male

Profession: Student in IT.

Character Theme: Pillar, Fireproof

Appearance: At 6 foot 1, he is slightly over average in height. However he is very light, weighing about 11 stone. He has dark green eyes and shaggy brown hair, that is only neat on special occasions. He is usually found with a short sleeved, plain white shirt under a long sleeved denim jacket, without a hood. He also wears Jeans and black trainers, and sometimes wears a dark blue cap. He is slightly tanned and has a small scar on his neck from a cat.

Personality: Akihiko, or Aki to his friends, is a nice, normal guy. He led a decent life, with enough money and food on the table. He is greatful for everything and loves life, living every second to the fullest. He jumps at the chance to help a friend and will never back down when someone challenges him. He doesn't like to fight, and is rarely insulted, laughing most things off. He is popular and great to be around, and always has a smile on his face. He talks to most people, not caring about their personality or anything about them, and if they tell him to get lost, he decides not to be friends with them. This is how he led his life. Asking something, listening to the answer and if the answer is no he never asks again.

 

He was born into a normal, middle class family and went to a common public school. He befriended most of the people in it by the age of 10 and by high school, he was on of the most popular people in the neighbourhood. However, noone knew anything of his family. When anyone asked, he smiled, sighed and changed the subject. When anyone asked to come into his house, he shook his head and suggested they go somewhere else. Many people say that his family is disfigured, some say that they are mad men. Some even say that they are aliens, but they are few and far between. The real reason is he doesn't have any. All went missing to Psyren. He wishes to get them back desperately.

Fighting Method: He uses Karate and Tai-kwondo, and is brown belt in each.

Psyren Contact: Akihiko was walking home from University one day, whistling an incomprihensble tune, when he noticed a public pay phone ringing. He tried to ignore it, but it started to annoy him. He walked over to the phone and picked it up. Hearing nothing but static, he imagined it was just a prank. He muttered, "Stupid kids." Into the reciever, and was about to place it back down, when his voice was repeated, if a bit crackly. He dropped the phone and started to sweat. Something moved outside, so he walked out, when he saw a large humanoid figure. It vanished before he could get the exact details. Then he heard a small sound, like a small bell pinging. He looked towards the phone and noticed a small red card. When picking it up, he noticed the word Psyren on one side and the number 100 on the other. Still a little shocked after the appearence of the creature, he shoved the card in his pocket, thinking nothing of it. He wiped his brow and almost ran home. The next day, he had forgotten about the incident, but the red card was still in his pocket. He walked towards the phone, subconciously, and noticed it ringing again. He picked up the phone and heard a womans voice, saying, "Greetings, your world is connected." Then the woman asked him questions. 63 in total, and the last few actually relating to his life. The last question was whether he wanted to go to Psyren. He ran. He rembered what had happened the other night and ran straight home, locking the door behind him.

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

Abilities:

Inventory:

[spoiler=Rinne - Tachibana, Kenzou (立花研蔵)]Name: Kenzou Tachibana

Age: Nineteen.

Gender: Male.

Profession: Theology major at Tokyo University.

Character Theme:

Appearance: Due to being one-half British, Kenzou’s hair is a golden-brown color, a fact he is rather self-conscious about and hates having it being pointed out. He has very dark brown eyes, common to most Japanese, and a rather blemish-free facial structure, due to keeping himself rather obsessively clean. However, his expression is always somewhat morose and caught up in other things, as if he’s not really paying attention to the situation at hand. Kenzou’s body structure is rather thin, with not much musculature, but enough to stay more active than the average person. This is probably due to his running habits. Kenzou isn’t one to care too much about what he wears. He usually wears a short-sleeved red-and-white striped polo shirt or a variation thereof, a pair of gently-worn jeans, and two black running shoes. Nothing too out of the ordinary; he prefers to stay in the background as much as possible.

Personality: There's been no better person to describe the word "doormat" than Kenzou. A complete pushover, his seemingly-entire purpose in life is to make other people's lives better, even at his own expense. Of course, he's liable to having that abused and exploited sometimes, but Kenzou isn't the type to speak out against it. He always thinks that standing out makes one liable to getting into trouble with the authorities, although his position now isn't much better. This inferiority complex is probably driven by his odd hair color, which has led to being called a gaijin more than once, something he's rather embarrassed about.

 

However, that doesn't mean he's always meek all of the time. He has a rather strong set of morals due to his choice of profession (he wants to be a theology teacher,) and doesn't run off if it's to satisfy his own interests over those of another. He also will exert effort to save people who are stuck in difficult physical circumstances, despite usually not being able to help much. For the most part, though, he's more emotional support than physical, being able to calm others down with remarkable efficiency.

Fighting Method: Flee. As fast as possible.

Psyren Contact: It was a rather cold evening, and Kenzou was wrapping his coat around him when he heard his cellphone ring. Naturally, he went to search his pockets to find his phone to only realize he had left it at home. Not the best thing. Especially because there was still that damn ringing. The only possible place it could come from seemed to be a nearby phone box, which was odd, because no-one actually called public telephones anyways. So, he threw logic to the roadside for a few minutes and decided to check just who was calling. However, when he spoke into the receiver, his own voice answered. Creeped out, he waited a few seconds, and a rather pleasant female voice responded, giving him the longest oral quiz since high school. Kenzou was confused nonetheless, but went through with it despite the cold. When it was over, a single red card was dispensed, which he pocketed and went on with as if nothing had changed.

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

Abilities:

Inventory:

[spoiler=Ryuujinn - Hoshigaki, Ranmaru (干柿蘭丸)]

Name: Ranmaru Hoshigaki

Age: 21

Gender: Male

Profession: Kendo Practitioner (Sho-Dan Rank)

Character Theme:

 

Appearance: Ranmaru stands at 5'6, and weighs around 130lbs. He has short, brown, layered-hair that spikes around the back. His eyes are hazel-brown. His lips are red, and his skin is fair brown. He always wear a fitted shirt around his slender body. He is fairly built, as a result of years in Kendo. He wears a black belt with two slots on the left side where he always secures his bokuto (wooden katana) and a 12" bokuto (wooden wakizashi). He mostly always wear loose, black slacks, and a pair of combat boots. He also wears a pair of black, fitted leather gloves on both hands, both have a peculiar tribal design around the back-hand portion. During his training, he wears a black kendo robe, and a black hakama along with white foot wraps.

 

Personality: Ranmaru is calm and composed most of the time. His Kendo training contributed to his serene nature, giving him the ability to cope up with stresses and also the ability to calm himself down when pressured. On tough occasions, he usually is not one to fail in developing solutions and strategies to help himself and those around him survive. Under pressure is where is mind works best, able to shut out panic and fear from his thought pattern. As far as he's concerned, he can easily get to grips with himself should trouble arises.

 

On a good day, Ranmaru spends his time in the Dojo, practicing his unique sword style. Sometimes, he can be seen wandering around food carts or malls, buying some takuyaki or even a big serving of Ramen. He is also sociable and friendly, smiling a lot and projecting a calm aura. One of his favorite past time is wandering in his family's Zen Garden, relaxing his mind and building up his chi. He dislikes corrupt, and power-hungry people, most especially politicians. He also dislikes people who doesn't fight fair, or people who exploits the weak.

 

On a bad day, however, Ranmaru has trouble coping up with losses and often times he can be hard on himself whenever he fails to do something, such as saving someone in trouble. His guilt can sometimes be an obstacle to his own skills, especially when it has built up. He loses himself in thought, and it takes another person to shake him up, and pull him back into reality. He also has this hero tendency to sacrifice himself when someone's in trouble, usually ending up with him getting injuries and even a broken bone. When this happens, he can also becomes unconsciously reckless and impulsive, acting first before thinking or planning out the situation, making his fighting style useless.

 

Fighting Method: Ranmaru uses a slender bokuto that's a bit longer than the average, and another bokuto that's exactly 12 inches long. His fighting style is based on Tengoku Tsurugi Jutsu, which incorporates the use of two swords with varying length. The movements are flowing like the air, and are usually more efficient than flashy. It also involves lightning quick movements bordering on the reflexes of the users. The true strength of Ranmaru's fighting style lies in the ability of the user to retain a calm mind, and approach situations in a solid manner, anticipating the movements of the opponents, and acting accordingly.

 

Psyren Contact: Ranmaru was walking home one cloudy afternoon, going around the same route towards his dojo. He was very disturbed and there was a lot going on in his mind. He kept thinking about how rotten this world has become, and why people refuse to do what is right. He wanted to make a difference, but kendo is all he have. He kept thinking and thinking about what he can do when he saw a strange figure standing at the top of a red phone booth. The creature looked human, but its face is covered by some sort of weird mask. Out of curiosity, Ranmaru rushed towards the booth to see who it was, but when he arrived, the figure was gone already. He inspected the booth, trying to see if the figure was hiding somewhere behind it, but he found no one. Suddenly, the phone rang almost ominously. He didn't know whether to answer it or not, but since there was no one there but himself, he decided to pick up. There was some sort of sound coming from the other line, a voice speaking about certain facts only he was privy about in his life. He tried to talk to it but it went dead almost instantly. He was confused by the sudden silence. His eyes observed the phone booth and saw almost immediately, a red card sitting in the card slot. He hesitantly took it, thinking what could it be for.

 

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

Abilities:

Inventory:

 

[spoiler=Umbra - Yamamoto, Shigure (山本シグレ)]Name: Shigure Yamamoto

Age: 38

Gender: Male

Profession: History teacher.

Character Theme:

Appearance: Shigure is shorter than most people, his students included, standing at a rather unimpressive 5'5". That being said, Shigure is also lighter than the average person and more agile. His hair is black, and he keeps it just a few inches long for personal comfort. His eyes are of a dark shade of green, bordering black. More often than not, he can be seen wearing a white, long-sleeved shirt and a black vest, and a pair of jeans. He keeps a thin metal chain with an attached wolf's fang around his neck.

Personality: Being a teacher in the real world, Shigure has adopted a strict but forgiving nature. Should he find someone who doesn't know something he knows, he will try his best to teach them - whether they want him to or not. (This has earned him a know-it-all reputation around the school.) He's a very outgoing person, but not in a fashion sense; he cares about his appearance.

 

When he's around his friends, and especially when he has drunk a few beers, he lets go of this nature and blatantly points out the mistakes of anyone he comes across. He isn't afraid to tell a few jokes or make a fool out of someone, including himself. Should one of Shigure's students meet him on the town, which has happened a few times, they would recognize him only by appearance.

Fighting Method:

Psyren Contact: One night, while Shigure was on the way home from the bar, he passed a payphone. He had passed it many times before, on his own and with friends, but never before had it rang. Neither had there been a clown-figure sitting on top. He had read a book from a western author recently about a child-murdering clown, and his first thought went to it. Then he realized he wasn't that drunk, and when he looked up again the clown was gone. The phone was still ringing, though, so he picked it up. As soon as he picked it up, there was an audible click and it went silent. The bastards had hung up on him. He was about to leave the payphone when he saw a red calling card in the card holder.

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

Abilities:

Inventory:

 

[spoiler=Willpower_9 - Futami, Sayo (二見紗世)]Name: Sayo Futami

 

Age: 32

 

Gender: Female

 

Profession: Councillor in the Diet (Japanese Legislature)

 

Character Theme: Truth- Seether.

 

Appearance: Sayo is tall and long with a swimmer's body, and her skin is not as dark as that of a Japanese person, as she is half American. Her dark black hair falls down halfway down her back, with two portions on either side falling down onto her shoulders. Her hair is wavy and so are her bangs, which are low-cut and are vertically cut across her forehead. Her eyes are her Japanese mother's eyes, dark, but have a touch of her American father as they do not slop so steeply. Her face is very pretty, with finely drawn features and a nice smile.

 

Sayo keeps her fingernails trimmed short, and they are generally painted a soft green. She usually wears a short black dress with a expensive business jacket thrown over it, much to the delight of her male Diet counterparts and the jealousy of her female counterparts. She cannot walk in heels for her life, so she wears plain black dress shoes most of the time.

 

When waring something casual, Sato actually is quite tomboyish, wearing jeans and such, but not to a huge extent, as Sayo is a member of the Diet, after all. She does not wear a lot of makeup. The only makeup she does wear regularly is red lipstick. This lack of makeup does not decrease her looks, though.

 

Sayo also is a little soft, despite swimming twice a week. This is due to the fact her father was a head of a eco-energy company who moved to Japan to expand his business empire, and so met his mother. As her father was very successful, Sayo grew up in luxury.

 

Personality: Sayo is a nice girl, if a little mysterious. Being a politician, she often hides what she's really thinking, and only opens up to a couple of people. She also likes to take charge, and people are surprised by her independent attitude. She is very determined, so much so that she often becomes obsessive when it comes to getting what she wants.

 

As I just said, Sayo is very determined at getting what she wants, and right now, its information on Psyren. She is one of the few people to believe in Psyren, and is intrigued and a little alarmed by all these people being taken there. She and a colleague, Hiroki Yamaguchi, have been investigating Psyren. They haven't found much yet, only rumors, but Sayo is going to keep digging up information on it...even if it kills her.

 

Sayo is sensitive on the inside, though in her line of career you have to get used to (cloaked) insults. She is easily able to fit anywhere, with anyone, but often is very jealous of people who are more popular that her. She has a superiority complex, probably developed due to growing up as part of the "in-crowd" in Kagoshima, the capital of the Kagoshima Prefecture. (which she nows represents in the Diet) Being viewed by the other politicians as just a new member of the legislature, she is usually trying to find a way to prove herself, which can sometimes give up bad results when she goes too far.

 

And, last but definitely not least, Sayo is a great public speaker, and is very smooth. At the age of 18, she used her speaking skills to resolve a hostage situation she was a victim of, a achievement she is very proud of and she still speaks of today. She was visiting the bank when three Japanese men burst into the bank and held them up for money. Sayo, though one of the hostages taken by the men, managed to convince one the men that with so many eyewitnesses around, the men wouldn't be able to get away, and they should give themselves up right now before they got into any more trouble. Then, she convinced that man to take down his colleagues. And so, Sayo resolved the hostage situation. She is so good she can reverse another politicians' words back on themselves so that she gets what she had in mind.

 

Fighting Method: Politicians don't usually fight, but if she was jumped on the street, Sayo would first attack with the pepper spray she keeps in her back pocket, and then make a run for it.

 

Psyren Contact: N/A. Sayo has not been contacted, though she is currently trying to find a way in, through any means possible. Through this way of searching, Sayo will find out information about Psyren before others do. She discovers background information about Psyren.

 

Red Card Points: 100

 

PSI Points:

 

 

Abilities:

 

Inventory:

 

 

[spoiler=Missions][spoiler=Psyren Mission 1: Acclimation]Participants: Everyone with a Red Card.

Location: ???

Red Point Cost: -5

Rewards: 5 PSI Points, major ability access.

Notes: No PSI powers will be available at this point. They will only be distributed upon completion of the mission. Until then, use your humanly skills to survive.

 

 

.

If I'm missing anything, let me know.

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ryuujinn Newbie

ryuujinn

Posted
Posted

PSYREN! YES! Here's my APP. :)

 

[spoiler=Ryuujinn - Hoshigaki, Ranmaru]

Name: Ranmaru Hoshigaki

Age: 21

Gender: Male

Profession: Kendo Practitioner (Sho-Dan Rank)

Character Theme:

 

Appearance: Ranmaru stands at 5'6, and weighs around 130lbs. He has short, brown, layered-hair that spikes around the back. His eyes are hazel-brown. His lips are red, and his skin is fair brown. He always wear a fitted shirt around his slender body. He is fairly built, as a result of years in Kendo. He wears a black belt with two slots on the left side where he always secures his bokuto (wooden katana) and a 12" bokuto (wooden wakizashi). He mostly always wear loose, black slacks, and a pair of combat boots. He also wears a pair of black, fitted leather gloves on both hands, both have a peculiar tribal design around the back-hand portion. During his training, he wears a black kendo robe, and a black hakama along with white foot wraps.

 

Personality: Ranmaru is calm and composed most of the time. His Kendo training contributed to his serene nature, giving him the ability to cope up with stresses and also the ability to calm himself down when pressured. On tough occasions, he usually is not one to fail in developing solutions and strategies to help himself and those around him survive. Under pressure is where is mind works best, able to shut out panic and fear from his thought pattern. As far as he's concerned, he can easily get to grips with himself should trouble arises.

 

On a good day, Ranmaru spends his time in the Dojo, practicing his unique sword style. Sometimes, he can be seen wandering around food carts or malls, buying some takuyaki or even a big serving of Ramen. He is also sociable and friendly, smiling a lot and projecting a calm aura. One of his favorite past time is wandering in his family's Zen Garden, relaxing his mind and building up his chi. He dislikes corrupt, and power-hungry people, most especially politicians. He also dislikes people who doesn't fight fair, or people who exploits the weak.

 

On a bad day, however, Ranmaru has trouble coping up with losses and often times he can be hard on himself whenever he fails to do something, such as saving someone in trouble. His guilt can sometimes be an obstacle to his own skills, especially when it has built up. He loses himself in thought, and it takes another person to shake him up, and pull him back into reality. He also has this hero tendency to sacrifice himself when someone's in trouble, usually ending up with him getting injuries and even a broken bone. When this happens, he can also becomes unconsciously reckless and impulsive, acting first before thinking or planning out the situation, making his fighting style useless.

 

Fighting Method: Ranmaru uses a slender bokuto that's a bit longer than the average, and another bokuto that's exactly 12 inches long. His fighting style is based on Tengoku Tsurugi Jutsu, which incorporates the use of two swords with varying length. The movements are flowing like the air, and are usually more efficient than flashy. It also involves lightning quick movements bordering on the reflexes of the users. The true strength of Ranmaru's fighting style lies in the ability of the user to retain a calm mind, and approach situations in a solid manner, anticipating the movements of the opponents, and acting accordingly.

 

Psyren Contact: Ranmaru was walking home one cloudy afternoon, going around the same route towards his dojo. He was very disturbed and there was a lot going on in his mind. He kept thinking about how rotten this world has become, and why people refuse to do what is right. He wanted to make a difference, but kendo is all he have. He kept thinking and thinking about what he can do when he saw a strange figure standing at the top of a red phone booth. The creature looked human, but its face is covered by some sort of weird mask. Out of curiosity, Ranmaru rushed towards the booth to see who it was, but when he arrived, the figure was gone already. He inspected the booth, trying to see if the figure was hiding somewhere behind it, but he found no one. Suddenly, the phone rang almost ominously. He didn't know whether to answer it or not, but since there was no one there but himself, he decided to pick up. There was some sort of sound coming from the other line, a voice speaking about certain facts only he was privy about in his life. He tried to talk to it but it went dead almost instantly. He was confused by the sudden silence. His eyes observed the phone booth and saw almost immediately, a red card sitting in the card slot. He hesitantly took it, thinking what could it be for.

 

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

  • Burst: 0
    Trance: 0
    Rise: 0
    Cure: 0
    Visions: 0

Abilities:

  • n/a

Inventory:

  • Bokuto (standard size)
  • 12"-length Bokuto
  • Pair of Black leather gloves

 

 

I, Ryuujinn, understands that Rinne may ask for edits on my app at any time and can refuse it if my app is not satisfactory. I will not throw a shitstorm if this happens. I have also read and agreed to all rules applying to this RP.

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bury the year Newbie

bury the year

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Hm. Very nice application, Ryuujin. Two things, though.

 

1) You'd only see tatoos like that on yakuza and the like, something I'm pretty sure your character wouldn't want to be associated with.

2) You're missing the second half of the profile, which includes everything from "Psyren Contact" and on. Copy and paste the rest into your post and fill it out.

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Umbra Newbie

Umbra

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[spoiler=Umbra - Yamamoto, Shigure]Name: Shigure Yamamoto

Age: 38

Gender: Male

Profession: History teacher.

Character Theme:

Appearance: Shigure is shorter than most people, his students included, standing at a rather unimpressive 5'5". That being said, Shigure is also lighter than the average person and more agile. His hair is black, and he keeps it just a few inches long for personal comfort. His eyes are of a dark shade of green, bordering black. More often than not, he can be seen wearing a white, long-sleeved shirt and a black vest, and a pair of jeans. He keeps a thin metal chain with an attached wolf's fang around his neck.

Personality: Being a teacher in the real world, Shigure has adopted a strict but forgiving nature. Should he find someone who doesn't know something he knows, he will try his best to teach them - whether they want him to or not. (This has earned him a know-it-all reputation around the school.) He's a very outgoing person, but not in a fashion sense; he cares about his appearance.

 

When he's around his friends, and especially when he has drunk a few beers, he lets go of this nature and blatantly points out the mistakes of anyone he comes across. He isn't afraid to tell a few jokes or make a fool out of someone, including himself. Should one of Shigure's students meet him on the town, which has happened a few times, they would recognize him only by appearance.

Fighting Method:

Psyren Contact: One night, while Shigure was on the way home from the bar, he passed a payphone. He had passed it many times before, on his own and with friends, but never before had it rang. Neither had there been a clown-figure sitting on top. He had read a book from a western author recently about a child-murdering clown, and his first thought went to it. Then he realized he wasn't that drunk, and when he looked up again the clown was gone. The phone was still ringing, though, so he picked it up. As soon as he picked it up, there was an audible click and it went silent. The bastards had hung up on him. He was about to leave the payphone when he saw a red calling card in the card holder.

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

  • Burst: 0
    Trance: 0
    Rise: 0
    Cure: 0
    Visions: 0

Abilities:

  • n/a

Inventory:

  • Neck-chain with a wolf's fang.
  • Wrist-watch.

 

 

I, Umbra, understands that Rinne may ask for edits on my app at any time and can refuse it if my app is not satisfactory. I will not throw a shitstorm if this happens. I have also read and agreed to all rules applying to this RP.

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bury the year Newbie

bury the year

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Since you've explained why the fighting style is left blank over IM, I see no other problems. ACCEPTED.

 

On a different note, I'm only letting four other characters in outside of my own. However, I do have an idea for one of the characters, and if anyone can fill my request satisfactorily, I'll give them precedence over any other apps. PM me for details.

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Magnet Soldier Newbie

Magnet Soldier

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Dont know what Psyren is, but I've just gone on One Manga to find out. Sounds cool anyway.

 

[spoiler=Magnet soldier - Kaizuka, Akihiko]Name: Akihiko Kaizuka

Age: 21

Gender: Male

Profession: Student in IT.

Character Theme:

Appearance: At 6 foot 1, he is slightly over average in height. However he is very light, weighing about 11 stone. He has dark green eyes and shaggy brown hair, that is only neat on special occasions. He is usually found with a short sleeved, plain white shirt under a long sleeved denim jacket, without a hood. He also wears Jeans and black trainers, and sometimes wears a dark blue cap. He is slightly tanned and has a small scar on his neck from a cat.

Personality: Akihiko, or Aki to his friends, is a nice, normal guy. He led a decent life, with enough money and food on the table. He is greatful for everything and loves life, living every second to the fullest. He jumps at the chance to help a friend and will never back down when someone challenges him. He doesn't like to fight, and is rarely insulted, laughing most things off. He is popular and great to be around, and always has a smile on his face. He talks to most people, not caring about their personality or anything about them, and if they tell him to get lost, he decides not to be friends with them. This is how he led his life. Asking something, listening to the answer and if the answer is no he never asks again.

 

He was born into a normal, middle class family and went to a common public school. He befriended most of the people in it by the age of 10 and by high school, he was on of the most popular people in the neighbourhood. However, noone knew anything of his family. When anyone asked, he smiled, sighed and changed the subject. When anyone asked to come into his house, he shook his head and suggested they go somewhere else. Many people say that his family is disfigured, some say that they are mad men. Some even say that they are aliens, but they are few and far between. The real reason is he doesn't have any. All went missing to Psyren. He wishes to get them back desperately.

Fighting Method: He uses Karate and Tai-kwondo, and is brown belt in each.

Psyren Contact: Akihiko was walking home from University one day, whistling an incomprihensble tune, when he noticed a public pay phone ringing. He tried to ignore it, but it started to annoy him. He walked over to the phone and picked it up. Hearing nothing but static, he imagined it was just a prank. He muttered, "Stupid kids." Into the reciever, and was about to place it back down, when his voice was repeated, if a bit crackly. He dropped the phone and started to sweat. Something moved outside, so he walked out, when he saw a large humanoid figure. It vanished before he could get the exact details. Then he heard a small sound, like a small bell pinging. He looked towards the phone and noticed a small red card. When picking it up, he noticed the word Psyren on one side and the number 100 on the other. Still a little shocked after the appearence of the creature, he shoved the card in his pocket, thinking nothing of it. He wiped his brow and almost ran home. The next day, he had forgotten about the incident, but the red card was still in his pocket. He walked towards the phone, subconciously, and noticed it ringing again. He picked up the phone and heard a womans voice, saying, "Greetings, your world is connected." Then the woman asked him questions. 63 in total, and the last few actually relating to his life. The last question was whether he wanted to go to Psyren. He ran. He rembered what had happened the other night and ran straight home, locking the door behind him.

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

  • Burst: 0
    Trance: 0
    Rise: 0
    Cure: 0
    Visions: 0

Abilities:

  • n/a

Inventory:

  • A small golden watch
  • A small emarald pendant with 666 inscribed on it.

 

 

I, Magnet soldier, understands that Rinne may ask for edits on my app at any time and can refuse it if my app is not satisfactory. I will not throw a shitstorm if this happens. I have also read and agreed to all rules applying to this RP.

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Guest Ixigo

Guest Ixigo

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[spoiler={Ixigo} - Takishima, Kohaku]Name: Takishima Kohaku

Age: 26

Gender: Female

Profession: Shoe saleswoman (front), Yakuza Assassin (true occupation)

Character Theme:

 

Appearance:

 

Kohaku's short stature, barely reaching above 5 feet, belies the well-toned, muscular physique of a woman who has spent most of her childhood undergoing rigorous physical training. Her pale skin and smooth, narrow features have often been used as means of seduction and deception before. Her eyes, for which she is named, shine a bright amber. Rich chestnut-colored hair flow onto her shoulders, although, when in a situation where her combat skills might be put to use, Kohaku has adapted to styling them in a tight bun steadied by three black pins to prevent them from interfering with her vision. She adorns her face with a hint of make-up and eye-liner as an enhancement to her looks. Her finger- and toenails are perfectly maintained, usually painted a delicate shade of crimson.

 

However, beneath the charming exterior, less-desirable features are deftly concealed. Even in the midst of summer, Kohaku will cover her right arm right up to the wrist, sometimes adopting a single-sleeved blouse that is viewed as a bizarre fashion dare - however, it serves the practical purpose of concealing a disfiguring burn mark that runs the entire length of her arm, an old injury that was left untreated too long to be properly healed. Rather than a sign of modesty, her long blouses serve to conceal three still-healing scars on the left side of her abdomen from a recent gunfight against opposing Yakuza members. And though it has mostly healed, a minor stab wound scar on her right thigh and a slight limp are still there, a parting gift from her late father to remind her of their last encounter.

 

Clothing-wise, aside from adapting to the necessity of hiding the results of her various exploits, Kohaku's dress code remains fairly standard. Regardless of the occasion, she will select garments that will not impede her movement or hinder her agility in a possible battle scenario. She will usually balance her choices between practicality, the necessity to not stand out, and presenting a pleasant appearance. Her work attire consists of modern western clothing, as she is occupied in a youth-directed sportwear chain owned by the Yakuza boss she works under, mostly tight jeans and a white blouse. Her casual clothing consists of a more traditional selection, and she is not rarely seen in a kimono. Of course, when she is called upon to perform more shadowy assignments, she switches to the traditional tight black outfit of a Yakuza agent, that leaves no space for flaw in motion, and is perfect for concealing oneself in the shadows.

 

Personality:

 

Kohaku's youth may have been considered enviable by many. She lived most of her life in luxury and riches. However, all her possessions stemmed from her father's huge wealth as a Yakuza boss. In such a risky environment Kohaku had to learn how to fend from herself from the early days. She attended the best martial arts dojo's in the region to train her body. She was educated, not just in physical, but also psychological warfare. Up until she was seventeen, she had already been held hostage three times - a situation similar to the one that has resulted in her mother's death when she was merely 5 years old - and all three times she managed to escape, leading a trail of bloodied corpses behind.

 

However, she did not simply learn the work of an assassin. Kohaku became well-versed in the intrigues and political webs that entangle those involved with the Japanese underground. It did not take long for her potential to be recognized. A major Yakuza boss, suspecting Kohaku's father had cheated him in the business of a drug shipment transfer. He offered Kohaku terms of employment that promised a much better life than she currently led, if she were to assassinate her father. Kohaku, taught to treat people as objects and tools for ascension - much to the final regret of the person responsible for teaching her - did not hesitate to complete the assignment. From there on, her career has only climbed upwards, becoming more and more notorious in the underworld circles, but at the same time more proficient in eluding the numerous threats that reach out to her.

 

Due to her uprising and lifestyle, Kohaku's emotional span is limited to practical feelings, and all other sensations, perceived as useless, are generally barred from her heart. However, that is not entirely true. Being forced from childhood to adulthood violently and abruptly has left her with several traumas that she works hard to suppress. She harbors an innate fear of absolute darkness. Though she can function flawlessly if there is a source of light present, however minor, if she is forced into absolute dark - despite how good her nightvision and her training may be, she still finds herself assaulted by a panic attack. Though she has kept this weakness well-hidden from allies and enemies alike, it still has cost her numerous close calls in the past.

 

Kohaku presents a cheerful and collected front in her social life, mingling in with society as yet another ordinary person. She is extremely polite, maintaining proper addressing codes to the letter. Of course, this is merely a facade for the ruthless assassin that is her true nature. In the rare occasions that she falls under some sort of emotional or psychological distress, however, Kohaku may display some erratic traits, including jealousy and a child-like obsession for obtaining an item she might desire despite the practical difficulties and / or lack of necessity of acquiring that object.

 

Fighting Method:

 

Due to her occupation, Kohaku is proficient in the use of a variety of firearms, both small- and larger-scale ones, as well as a trained martial artist and well-versed in the use of more traditional weaponry, reserved for special occasions. Her full arsenal spans a variety of weapons, however, she only carries a select few with her at the time. She tries to never be caught without her reliable wakizashi, which she tends to carry underneath the always-long left sleeve of her blouse. Even with her training, as a female, she stands well below average as far as raw physical ability is concerned compared to a man, a fact which she has to counterbalance by specializing in stealth and speed, as well as skillful use of her surroundings and available tools.

 

Psyren Contact: Returning home from a late meeting with a "client", Kohaku passed by a suddenly-ringing phone booth. Despite the apparent lack of trigger for the phenomenon, being in her line of work, the Yakuza agent thought it most likely that one of her superiors had simply chosen this way of contacting her as a whim, and picked up the phone. What followed was a short silence, accompanied by some sort of static - and then the phone stopped ringing. An abrupt motion drew her attention - reflexively gripping the hilt of her hidden shortsword, she rushed outside, to be greeted with the brief visage of a uniquely-attired man-shaped being floating in the sky. And then it vanished, and she was left in an empty booth with a crimson-colored card, the word "Psyren" scribed on one side, in English - a language Kohaku could comprehend rather well - and the number "100" scribed on the other.

 

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

  • Burst: 0
    Trance: 0
    Rise: 0
    Cure: 0
    Visions: 0

Abilities:

  • n/a

Inventory:

  • Swiss Quartz Wristwatch
    Swiss Army Knife
    Wakizashi

 

 

I, Ixigo, understands that Rinne may ask for edits on my app at any time and can refuse it if my app is not satisfactory. I will not throw a shitstorm if this happens. I have also read and agreed to all rules applying to this RP.

 

I will also apologize if anything in my Psyren Contact section was off - it's been a long while since I read the beginning of the series, so I don't quite remember what's supposed to happen there.

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bury the year Newbie

bury the year

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Magnet, I'll wait until you finish your app to review it.

 

Ixigo, your application is very well written and played out, but I fear that there are a few... cliched points in it. From what I can see, she:

 

    a) has lost a parent at an early age,
    b) killed repeatedly at an early age,
    c) killed the other parent,
    d) has a "broken bird" personality,
    e) performs wetwork repeatedly,
    f) is relatively emotionless,
    g) and is proficient in many forms of weaponry.

 

Now, I'm sure a lot of this could be explained by her yakuza upbringing, but I feel that she can be fleshed out a bit more and could be made a bit more three-dimensional. I'm just not feeling it right now. Sorry. :/

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Aesirson Newbie

Aesirson

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[spoiler=Kuroda Naoki - Sugita, Atsushi]Name: Atsushi Sugita

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Profession: Student

Character Theme: Carpark North - Just Human

Appearance: Sugita is shorter then average 18-y.o. teenagers, but not very short. His body looks kinda slim and acrobatic. He is usually seen wearing a brown Snorkel Parka and brown, baggy pants. He has very light, blonde hair, often un-hairdo'd. The first thing many people notice with Sugita is his eyes that are of a distinguishing yellow color. Sugita also has black bags under his eyes, signaling that he's not a very good sleeper.

Personality: Altough he had many friends at a younger age, Sugita started studying ocult stories and urban myths when he reached high school, and all his friends began to take distance from him. He is now a loner, and he doesn't really care about friends.

 

He's often a collected individual, but sometimes his temperament get's the better of him. He's also a nice person if he's approached, even though he doesn't like it. He likes to see himself as a pacifist since he doesn't want anyone nor anything to come to harm. He's also very fond with animals, and will try to defend any living creature as good as he can.

Fighting Method: As already mentioned he doesn't like fighting, but if he's forced to fight he would fight with fast kicks and punches.

Psyren Contact: Due to his interest in urban myths, Sugita had stumbled across the Psyren myth several times before, but when he heard a rumor at his school that someone had spotted Nemesis Q nearby he decided to go out searching for Psyren himself. After many failed tries to find Nemesis Q, Sugita returned home, only to hear the closest payphone ringing. Filled with hope Sugita answered, only to be hung up upon. That's when he spotted Nemesis Q, who was sitting on the payphone's roof. Sugita could barely believe that a creature like that would exist, it didn't look human, neither did it look like any animal that Sugita knew about. Sugita wasn't given a long time to think before Nemesis Q disappeared, the only thing left to Sugita was the red card saying Psyren...

Red Card Points: 100

PSI Points:

  • Burst: 0
    Trance: 0
    Rise: 0
    Cure: 0
    Visions: 0

Abilities:

  • n/a

Inventory:

  • A celphone

 

 

I, Kuroda Naoki, understands that Rinne may ask for edits on my app at any time and can refuse it if my app is not satisfactory. I will not throw a shitstorm if this happens. I have also read and agreed to all rules applying to this RP.

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Quiksilver Newbie

Quiksilver

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Making Sayo Futami was done on the advice of Rinne, and so if I am not good at doing a female politician, just bear with me, please.

 

[spoiler=Willpower_9 - Futami, Sayo]Name: Sayo Futami

 

Age: 32

 

Gender: Female

 

Profession: Councillor in the Diet (Japanese Legislature)

 

Character Theme: Truth- Seether.

 

Appearance: Sayo is tall and long with a swimmer's body, and her skin is not as dark as that of a Japanese person, as she is half American. Her dark black hair falls down halfway down her back, with two portions on either side falling down onto her shoulders. Her hair is wavy and so are her bangs, which are low-cut and are vertically cut across her forehead. Her eyes are her Japanese mother's eyes, dark, but have a touch of her American father as they do not slop so steeply. Her face is very pretty, with finely drawn features and a nice smile.

 

Sayo keeps her fingernails trimmed short, and they are generally painted a soft green. She usually wears a short black dress with a expensive business jacket thrown over it, much to the delight of her male Diet counterparts and the jealousy of her female counterparts. She cannot walk in heels for her life, so she wears plain black dress shoes most of the time.

 

When waring something casual, Sato actually is quite tomboyish, wearing jeans and such, but not to a huge extent, as Sayo is a member of the Diet, after all. She does not wear a lot of makeup. The only makeup she does wear regularly is red lipstick. This lack of makeup does not decrease her looks, though.

 

Sayo also is a little soft, despite swimming twice a week. This is due to the fact her father was a head of a eco-energy company who moved to Japan to expand his business empire, and so met his mother. As her father was very successful, Sayo grew up in luxury.

 

Personality: Sayo is a nice girl, if a little mysterious. Being a politician, she often hides what she's really thinking, and only opens up to a couple of people. She also likes to take charge, and people are surprised by her independent attitude. She is very determined, so much so that she often becomes obsessive when it comes to getting what she wants.

 

As I just said, Sayo is very determined at getting what she wants, and right now, its information on Psyren. She is one of the few people to believe in Psyren, and is intrigued and a little alarmed by all these people being taken there. She and a colleague, Hiroki Yamaguchi, have been investigating Psyren. They haven't found much yet, only rumors, but Sayo is going to keep digging up information on it...even if it kills her.

 

Sayo is sensitive on the inside, though in her line of career you have to get used to (cloaked) insults. She is easily able to fit anywhere, with anyone, but often is very jealous of people who are more popular that her. She has a superiority complex, probably developed due to growing up as part of the "in-crowd" in Kagoshima, the capital of the Kagoshima Prefecture. (which she nows represents in the Diet) Being viewed by the other politicians as just a new member of the legislature, she is usually trying to find a way to prove herself, which can sometimes give up bad results when she goes too far.

 

And, last but definitely not least, Sayo is a great public speaker, and is very smooth. At the age of 18, she used her speaking skills to resolve a hostage situation she was a victim of, a achievement she is very proud of and she still speaks of today. She was visiting the bank when three Japanese men burst into the bank and held them up for money. Sayo, though one of the hostages taken by the men, managed to convince one the men that with so many eyewitnesses around, the men wouldn't be able to get away, and they should give themselves up right now before they got into any more trouble. Then, she convinced that man to take down his colleagues. And so, Sayo resolved the hostage situation. She is so good she can reverse another politicians' words back on themselves so that she gets what she had in mind.

 

Fighting Method: Politicians don't usually fight, but if she was jumped on the street, Sayo would first attack with the pepper spray she keeps in her back pocket, and then make a run for it.

 

Psyren Contact: N/A. Sayo has not been contacted, though she is currently trying to find a way in, through any means possible. Through this way of searching, Sayo will find out information about Psyren before others do. She discovers background information about Psyren.

 

Red Card Points: 100

 

PSI Points:

 

  • Burst: 0
    Trance: 0
    Rise: 0
    Cure: 0
    Visions: 0

 

Abilities:

  • n/a

 

Inventory:

  • Pepper Spray
  • Cell phone
  • Purse (Contains wallet, lipstick, and other assorted necessities.)

 

 

 

I, Willpower_9, understands that Rinne may ask for edits on my app at any time and can refuse it if my app is not satisfactory. I will not throw a shitstorm if this happens. I have also read and agreed to all rules applying to this RP.

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bury the year Newbie

bury the year

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Okay, revisions are in appropriate spoilers. I might've missed some in earlier reviews, so these should be more comprehensive.

 

[spoiler=ryuujinn - Hoshigaki, Ranmaru]1) Kanji gloves = gratuitous Rule of Cool. Remove the kanji part; it's a bit odd.

2) As stated in the bottom notes, give him some personality flaws. Right now, he's a bit bland.

3) I thought I told you no katanas just yet, and only bokuto at best. Dx

 

[spoiler=Kuroda Naoki - Atsushi, Sugita]1) You have a perfectly acceptable name. Only problem is that it's backwards. Atsushi is a given name, and Sugita is a surname. Probably should fix that.

2) Psyren is realistic for the most part when it comes to hair color, so white hair isn't going to be seen on a character unless they're albino.

3) Alright. A full dagger with a blade made of a solid ruby. Do you know how much it would cost to procure a ruby of that size and make it into a blade, much less have two? That's in the range of billions of yen, I'm guessing, something no teenager would be able to have. Remove it. (Also, weaponry laws in Japan are much stricter than that of the US.)

4) Expand on the personality a bit more, if you can.

 

[spoiler=The Dragon Duelist - Saitou, Rai]1) What's with the appeal of white hair? I never got it. Read point 2 in Naoki's changes: it applies here too. Also, unless you have foreign ancestry, a Japanese person isn't going to be blue-eyed.

2) Lightning-shaped birthmark is gratuitous Rule of Cool.

3) If I'm not mistaken, gakuran stop in high school. A college student would have no need for one. (Gakuran = uniform, FYI.)

4) A bit more in personality, please.

5) If his mother was his only family left, where did his father go? What happened to him now that he was an orphan? Losing both parents is rather cliched, so I'd like to see some good explanation, and not just that of the car-crash variety.

6) I'm very iffy about the master of kung-fu, mainly because it's a major indicator of a Marty Stu. Either remove it or make him an amateur. We don't need four fighting geniuses here; the point is to get average people.

7) You get the card after you take the phone quiz, not the other way around.

 

[spoiler=willpower_9 - Futami, Sayo]1) Unless Yamaguchi-san has gone to Psyren before, he will have no way of knowing detailed information, only rumors at best. Remember, the cards put a program on the holder that prevents them from telling others.

2) If she's a politician, she's probably not going to have much time to practice tae-kwon-do, only have mid-novice experience at best. Remember, the goal is to make the characters more powerful later.

3) At the moment, her personality's a bit flat, all good and no bad. Add some flaws in. I think that being unconsciously condescending would be an interesting angle to play.

3) I find the hostage situation part intriguing, but you'll need to go into a bit more detail so we can know just how good her skills are.

4) I forget what I'm "supposed to know," so please fill in the Psyren Contact section.

 

.

As a general note (which I should probably add), not every character needs to be versed in combat. In fact, I'd like it if only one or two at most have any professional experience/formal training. Keep this in mind.

 

Also, gratuitous kanji isn't cool; it's noobish. I should know, since I'm currently studying Japanese.

 

Finally, give your characters personality flaws. Make them have petty jealousy issues, make them cowards, make them anything! It's more fun to RP them like that. :3

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ryuujinn Newbie

ryuujinn

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Posted

Edited my App:

 

Changelog:

 

-Changed 60% of Personality; added personality flaws.

 

-Changed the kanji gloves into just normal, slightly decorated gloves.

 

-Changed fighting style description

 

Hope they're enough.. :) let me know if I need to change something else..

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Guest Ixigo

Guest Ixigo

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Magnet' date=' I'll wait until you finish your app to review it.

 

Ixigo, your application is very well written and played out, but I fear that there are a few... cliched points in it. From what I can see, she:

 

[list']a) has lost a parent at an early age,

b) killed repeatedly at an early age,

c) killed the other parent,

d) has a "broken bird" personality,

e) performs wetwork repeatedly,

f) is relatively emotionless,

g) and is proficient in many forms of weaponry.

 

Now, I'm sure a lot of this could be explained by her yakuza upbringing, but I feel that she can be fleshed out a bit more and could be made a bit more three-dimensional. I'm just not feeling it right now. Sorry. :/

 

So is my application rejected wholly, or just this character? Can I resubmit an edited application or - probably, as I don't really see how to add more depth into this one while sticking to the original theme I had in mind - submit a new one from scratch?

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bury the year Newbie

bury the year

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Magnet' date=' I'll wait until you finish your app to review it.

 

Ixigo, your application is very well written and played out, but I fear that there are a few... cliched points in it. From what I can see, she:

 

[list']a) has lost a parent at an early age,

b) killed repeatedly at an early age,

c) killed the other parent,

d) has a "broken bird" personality,

e) performs wetwork repeatedly,

f) is relatively emotionless,

g) and is proficient in many forms of weaponry.

 

Now, I'm sure a lot of this could be explained by her yakuza upbringing, but I feel that she can be fleshed out a bit more and could be made a bit more three-dimensional. I'm just not feeling it right now. Sorry. :/

 

So is my application rejected wholly, or just this character? Can I resubmit an edited application or - probably, as I don't really see how to add more depth into this one while sticking to the original theme I had in mind - submit a new one from scratch?

 

I'm not rejecting the character, nor your opportunity to RP here. If you'd like to revise her or make a new charry, by all means please do.

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