the power of my heart and soul, Shadow Veil Dragon (repost)

[dimitri]

[center]
[spoiler=summon chant:]
the shadow from my heart has formt its own mind,
shine a black veil over my soul
synchro summon
my power!!!
[/spoiler]

[img]http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/3435/15065.jpg[/img]
lore:
1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters
When this card attacks a monster, until the end of the Battle Phase, this card gains ATK equal to half of the ATK or DEF of the attack target witchever is lower. When this card is selected by the effect of a Spell, trap or monster card your opponent control, you can discard 1 Dragon-type monster from your deck to the graveyard to set that card face-down and that card cannot be flipt Face-up again until next turn.




so tel me, good or not???




[/center]

[dimitri]

bbump

[FTW (For The Wynn)]

Awww, people are mean nowadays. Anyway, my changes are in [b]bold.[/b]
[b]
[/b]
[color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]When this card [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]declares an[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"] attack[s]s a monster[/s], until the end of the Battle Phase, this card gains ATK equal to half of the ATK or DEF of the attack target[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"],[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"] [/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]whichever[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"] is lower. When this card is selected [s]by the effect[/s] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]as the target[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"] of a Spell, [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]T[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]rap or [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]M[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]onster [s]card[/s] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]Effect,[/b] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]your opponent control, you can discard 1 Dragon-[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]T[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]ype monster from your [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]D[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]eck to the [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]G[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]raveyard to [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]negate the activation of that card and[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b] S[/b]et [s]that card[/s] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]it[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b] face-down[/b]. [s]and[/s] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]T[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]hat card cannot be [s]flipt[/s] [b]flipped[/b] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]f[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]ace-up [s]again[/s] until next turn (during what phase?).[/size][/font][/color]
[b][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"] [/font][/color][/b]
[font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="3"][color="#474747"][size="2"]I'm not entirely sure how to fix the OCG in the first sentence, it might not even need to be fixed but I would make sure. Anyway, I would also recommend making the discard from your hand (not capitalized) so that it isn't quite as OP'd. Maybe lower the ATK to 2200 as well. Other than that it is pretty decent. The pic isn't the best but it works. Not too bad overall.[/size][/color][/size][/font]

[Dr. Cakey]

[quote name='FTW (For The Wynn)' timestamp='1285602652' post='4660779']
Awww, people are mean nowadays. Anyway, my changes are in [b]bold.[/b]
[b]
[/b]
[color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]When this card [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]declares an[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"] attack[s]s a monster[/s], until the end of the Battle Phase, this card gains ATK equal to half of the ATK or DEF of the attack target[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"],[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"] [/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]whichever[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"] is lower. When this card is selected [s]by the effect[/s] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]as the target[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"] of a Spell, [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]T[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]rap or [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]M[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]onster [s]card[/s] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]Effect,[/b] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]your opponent control, you can discard 1 Dragon-[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]T[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]ype monster from your [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]D[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]eck to the [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]G[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]raveyard to [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]negate the activation of that card and[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b] S[/b]et [s]that card[/s] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]it[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b] face-down[/b]. [s]and[/s] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]T[/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]hat card cannot be [s]flipt[/s] [b]flipped[/b] [/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"][b]f[/b][/size][/font][/color][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="2"]ace-up [s]again[/s] until next turn (during what phase?).[/size][/font][/color]
[b][color="#474747"][font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"] [/font][/color][/b]
[font="tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif"][size="3"][color="#474747"][size="2"]I'm not entirely sure how to fix the OCG in the first sentence, it might not even need to be fixed but I would make sure. Anyway, I would also recommend making the discard from your hand (not capitalized) so that it isn't quite as OP'd. Maybe lower the ATK to 2200 as well. Other than that it is pretty decent. The pic isn't the best but it works. Not too bad overall.[/size][/color][/size][/font]
[/quote]
You [i]almost[/i] have it.

1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters
If [i](I think it's 'if')]/i] this card attacks a monster, until the end of the Battle Phase, this card gains ATK equal to half of the ATK or DEF of the attack target, whichever is lower. When this card is selected by the effect of a Spell Card, Trap Card, or Effect Monster's effect your opponent controls, you can send 1 Dragon-type monster from your deck to the Graveyard to negate the activation of the effect and Set the card. That card cannot be activated or Flip Summoned until the end of the turn.

Actually a good card. You lose points for spelling and grammar, and for generic Synchro-ness. Give it more specific summoning conditions.

[FTW (For The Wynn)]

[quote name='Dr. Cakey' timestamp='1285621981' post='4661643']
You [i]almost[/i] have it.

1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters
If [i](I think it's 'if')]/i] this card attacks a monster, until the end of the Battle Phase, this card gains ATK equal to half of the ATK or DEF of the attack target, whichever is lower. When this card is selected by the effect of a Spell Card, Trap Card, or Effect Monster's effect your opponent controls, you can send 1 Dragon-type monster from your deck to the Graveyard to negate the activation of the effect and Set the card. That card cannot be activated or Flip Summoned until the end of the turn.

Actually a good card. You lose points for spelling and grammar, and for generic Synchro-ness. Give it more specific summoning conditions.
[/quote]

Thanks Cakey, I wasn't absolutely sure.