HMNISGwahahaha Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 These are the "proofs of human stupidity". The original can be found here 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 5. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 6. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 7. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 8. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? ------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Frito's:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as " to be used for intended use only" basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMNISGwahahaha Posted January 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 These are the "proofs of human stupidity". The original can be found here 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 5. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 6. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 7. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 8. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? ------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Frito's:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as " to be used for intended use only" basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaco Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Lol, that's some pretty funny stuff right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaco Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Lol, that's some pretty funny stuff right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RestLess-BoTics Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Whoa, I just noticed these things... That's pretty funny.. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RestLess-BoTics Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Whoa, I just noticed these things... That's pretty funny.. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeroshot Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 interesting the politics one explains everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeroshot Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 interesting the politics one explains everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Slime Lord Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 I lol'd at those. Especially the one with the chainsaw. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Slime Lord Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 I lol'd at those. Especially the one with the chainsaw. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harhar Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 ha the chainsaw one is my favorite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harhar Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 ha the chainsaw one is my favorite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Static Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 "You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??" It won't fly, and planes are USELESS if they don't fly. "Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' " Last time I checked, tics is not latin, thus, this claim is false. "On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)" Outside? Most Christmas lights that are hung, are hung outside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Static Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 "You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??" It won't fly, and planes are USELESS if they don't fly. "Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' " Last time I checked, tics is not latin, thus, this claim is false. "On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)" Outside? Most Christmas lights that are hung, are hung outside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMNISGwahahaha Posted January 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 All those are acceptable, if you think about it. The only one that is completely absurd is sterilizing the needle for lethal injections Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMNISGwahahaha Posted January 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 All those are acceptable, if you think about it. The only one that is completely absurd is sterilizing the needle for lethal injections Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frunk Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 All those are acceptable' date=' if you think about it. The only one that is completely absurd is sterilizing the needle for lethal injections[/quote'] No, it's not at all, the sterilising of the needle for the lethal injections is needed to do to ensure that the person dies in an acceptable way, just like all those who have had "the shot" before them and all the people that will no doubt have it after. It's the only humane way to carry out that particular form of capital punishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frunk Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 All those are acceptable' date=' if you think about it. The only one that is completely absurd is sterilizing the needle for lethal injections[/quote'] No, it's not at all, the sterilising of the needle for the lethal injections is needed to do to ensure that the person dies in an acceptable way, just like all those who have had "the shot" before them and all the people that will no doubt have it after. It's the only humane way to carry out that particular form of capital punishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wicket Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 *Sigh*, many mysteries in this world, and still many more to be found, and yet even more to be solved. ............................................................................. YES, Frunk IS one of the mysteries, but I don't want to go to far into that. What I'm TRYING to say, ugh, is that people are so concerned about the tiniest detail in life that questions them into how that happens, when it's really pointless! "On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)" Open packet, eat nuts. :lol: Ahem, of course, most of this is due to complications (The lemon/dishwashing thing? I'm sure there's a reason for that.), reminders (As if people couldn't read or pay attention before!), and probably just to get a kick out of it (The chainsaw thing, probably made some "tests" [don't wanna go into that too far, derd] just to prove that warning to be effective) Yeah, there are probably some other reasons for these strange and odd warnings and violations, but do we really care? Depends if those who really care are just idiotic tools who can't justify the greater common good between someone else's stupidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wicket Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 *Sigh*, many mysteries in this world, and still many more to be found, and yet even more to be solved. ............................................................................. YES, Frunk IS one of the mysteries, but I don't want to go to far into that. What I'm TRYING to say, ugh, is that people are so concerned about the tiniest detail in life that questions them into how that happens, when it's really pointless! "On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)" Open packet, eat nuts. :lol: Ahem, of course, most of this is due to complications (The lemon/dishwashing thing? I'm sure there's a reason for that.), reminders (As if people couldn't read or pay attention before!), and probably just to get a kick out of it (The chainsaw thing, probably made some "tests" [don't wanna go into that too far, derd] just to prove that warning to be effective) Yeah, there are probably some other reasons for these strange and odd warnings and violations, but do we really care? Depends if those who really care are just idiotic tools who can't justify the greater common good between someone else's stupidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoolMeNever Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 I lol'd at a lot of these. (The chainsaw one...xDxDxD!) But, I have this cell phone, in the instruction manual it says "Do not attempt to dry Cell Phone in microwave"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoolMeNever Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 I lol'd at a lot of these. (The chainsaw one...xDxDxD!) But, I have this cell phone, in the instruction manual it says "Do not attempt to dry Cell Phone in microwave"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flame Dragon Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 I lol'd at most of them. That last one almost killed me because I laughed so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flame Dragon Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 I lol'd at most of them. That last one almost killed me because I laughed so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frunk Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?? Wait' date=' wait, the [b']whole[/b] plane? Scenario: Stewardess: "Would you like the warm breakfast or the cold breakfast?"Passenger: "Warm please."Stewardess: "Here you are, one steaming piece of idestructable orange metal." Passenger: "Miss, these chairs are awfully uncomfortable..."Stewardess: "We understand that, but they are indestructable!" Seriously...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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