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Yu-Gi-Oh:And So It Begins Chapter 13 Is Up (I'm Back)

Cthonian

By Cthonian
in Creative Writing

So Far?  

6 members have voted

  1. 1. How do you like it so far?

    • I love it and will continue to read it.
      3
    • It's alright, but nothing compared to your work with Master52394 but I'll still read it.
      0
    • It's allright, but I'll still read it.
      0
    • Needs improvements.
      1
    • Just as good as your work with Master52394 and I'll continue to read it.
      4
    • Not bad, but it's not my forte.
      1

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Des ＨＥＲＯ Newbie

Des ＨＥＲＯ

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As you know, I have missed a few chapters. I've read up to chapter 7 and I enjoy it. It seems like a coincidence that you managed to show all of the decks of the infinite seven in 7 chapters. Plus it seems a coincidence that Brian has an deck simular to Marik and they know each other from an event that happened in their lives. Well I can't wait for what is going to happen next.
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Des ＨＥＲＯ Newbie

Des ＨＥＲＯ

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I was expecting an final with more than 8 people entering, but 64 ! It looks like it's going take a long amount of time for the Tournament to finish. Well, the chapters good, I might have noticed that one time you had an typing error and spelled Blake, Black instead and not noticed (or I could be imagining that, I think I'll check). Can't wait for the conclusion of the duel.
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Cthonian Newbie

Cthonian

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Well Master52394, you don't have to wait any longer. For Chapter 11 and 12 are here. And even though I don't have a lot of poeple that comment (which would be really nice), I am glad for the ones that do read it and especially glad for the ones that comment. Enjoy!
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Dr. Cakey Newbie

Dr. Cakey

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[spoiler='Growing Praise and Adulation Episode 15: Something Something Something Gay Clown']Everything about the Duelist Kingdom Tournament was going as perfect as can be.
[b]Did I mention this story apparently takes place during Duelist Kingdom, with (quote), “a little old, but all new characters and story line”?

*headdesk*[/b]

Yugi had defeated the dark part of Seto Kaiba,
[b]Yes…keep watching the dub…keep watching it…

For those of you who don’t know, in the original Japanese version, the gay clown never claims to be Kaiba’s ghost, but Kaiba himself, and is in actuality a skilled mimic. No, I guess that really doesn’t make any more sense than the dub.[/b]

obtaining a total of six star chips and just recently Joey has just defeated Rex Raptor [now at three star chips] and has a total of four star chips. But little did everyone know, they were being watched by seven followers.
[b]Okay, guys, time to be up and honest. Advice here is probably going to be minimal, just because this fic has its own unique brand of bad that benefits best from “lolololololol” rather than “zomg j00 suk”.

That said, I’ll take it upon myself to point out that “follower” is the wrong word. “Follower” means something like the word “disciple”, though more general, being religious or secular in nature. Leaders of cults have followers, political leaders have followers, and Twitter feeds have followers, but Yugi and Joey do not. They may be currently being followed by seven guys, but they don’t have followers.[/b]

Rex Raptor was angry from his loss with Joey Wheeler. He wanted revenge for losing his star chips. He had managed to receive five star chips again when it happened.
[b]There aren’t many things people talk around in that manner. Pregnancies, maybe.[/b]

He was challenged to a duel by a six foot, hooded man. And seeing as how Rex needed to rack up chips before time ran out, he agreed.
[b]And seeing as Rex managed 2nd place in the tournament to become Duel Monsters champion of Japan, he has a reasonable chance of taking on anybody on the island that isn’t a main character. On the other hand, dueling a six-foot-tall hooded dude pretty much never ends well.[/b]

They dueled in the middle of nowhere with nobody in sight.
[b]That covers just about all of Duelist Kingdom, you know.[/b]

After just one turn, all people heard was the dino duelist screaming for mercy.
[b]Although there was no one in sight. Granted this is sound, not sight, but come on? Did everyone on the entire island hear it?[/b]

When someone looked to see what had happened, all they saw was that robed duelist taking Rex's star chips and whisper "Mind Flash". And with that, the duelist leaped into the forest and Rex forgot everything from the last ten minutes.
[b]No no no, that’s not how you do magic powers. Didn’t Yami Yugi show you how to do it? Okay, we’ll have a quick refresher, with some modification for an Evil Person of Evil to do it rather than a 3,000-5,000 year-old pharaoh.

Step 1: Win the duel.
Step 2: Set your Magical Object to the Glow (Bright) setting.
Step 3: Either thrust your palm forward or (in the case of super-size hands) grab the target’s head and lift them into the air.
Step 4: Shout your Magical Incantation. If possible, shout it in Engrish (for example, “Mind Flash” would become “MAINDO FURASHU!!!”)
Step 5: Photoshop the screen to your heart’s content. Yami Yugi recommends inverting the colors and using the shatter transition.
Step 6: Set your Magical Object to the Glow (Fade) setting.
Step 7: If you grabbed the target and lifted them up, take this opportunity to drop them unceremoniously.
Step 8: Stride arrogantly away.
Step 9: Set your Magical Object to the OFF setting. Some Magical Objects revert to the OFF setting automatically once the Glow (Fade) function has run through completely.[/b]

And since the rules state that a duelist must have atleast one star chip to duel, he was kicked off the island.

Many more "accidents" like these happened all over the island with six other descriptions of people losing star chips and not remembering a thing that had happened.
[b]I wouldn’t describe those as “accidents” so much as SURPRISE MINDFLASH!

I guess a [i]Men in Black[/i] reference would be expected to go here.[/b]

The seven mystery duelists made their way up to Pegasus' castle and when they got to the top, Kimo was there to tell them that the tournament was over and that Yugi Muoto was the Duelist Kingdom Champion. The duelists took little interest in that and proceeded into the castle despite what Kimo told them. When trying to apprehend the kids, Kimp was held paralyzed until the robed teenagers were in the locked castle.
[b]Kimp? Come on, have at least a little pride in your work. Not that I’d have any pride in this work.[/b]

Who are these kids, and what do they want?
[b]Yes, let’s put a random narrator in here for a sentence. Otherwise, the readers might not be wondering who the kids are.[/b]

With nobody to stop these kids, they proceeded to the dueling arena where Maximillion Pegasus stood, crying over the loss he sustained from Yugi. But not only was Pegasus there, but so was Bakura.
[b]Actually, Pegasus was in his private room, not the duel arena. Just in case you care about continuity. Which I do.[/b]

He lurked out from the shadows and challenged Pegasus to a Shadow Game.
[b]Aw, friggin’ hell. Lurking is passive. How the bloody hell is someone supposed to lurk out? Do you lurk home from school? Lurk to the store to spend all your money on trading cards? If I could, I would, but I can’t, because that’s not how the word works. Now read a goddamn dictionary.[/b]

The winner would get the losers Millenium Item. before Pegasus could answer, Bakura was knocked unconcious, and the seven robed duelists stood before Maximillium.
[b]Maximillium? Yeah, you’re not even trying. But who cares about that – I’m picturing Bakura about to battle with EJIPSHUN LAZUR BEEMZ!!!!! when he suddenly gets Vulcan nerve-pinched from behind. Maybe have a little more respect for the primary antagonist of Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters?[/b]

"Can I help you," said a tired, worn out man. "I was just about to have a Shadow Game with that gentleman over there before you knocked him out."
[b]Apparently, a tired, worn out man walked into the room just now. I mean, this [i]seems[/i] like something Pegasus would be saying right now, but then Pegasus would be the one saying it, not a tired, worn out man. But Pegasus actually [i]wouldn’t[/i] be saying it, because that is some of the most pathetic, bedraggled piece of failed dialogue I’ve ever laid eyes upon.[/b]

"And you would have lost," said the apparent leader of the seven. "Trust me I know."
[b] “We were sent from the future to kill you in order to stop Synchro Monsters from destroying the world. That’s how we know. By the way, have you seen the plot to 5D’s anywhere? The writers have lost it.”[/b]

"What is it that you want?" asked Pegasus.

"The same thing that he wanted," said the leader with a smirk. "Your Millenium Eye."
[b]Dun dun DUN!!!![/b]

"And what's in it for me?" asked an intrigued Pegasus.
[b] “Nothing…we’re just going to take it. I mean, come on. There’s one of you and seven of us. What’s going to stop us?”[/b]

"If you manage to defeat me in a duel, this will be your prize," said the duelist as he opened his robe.

Pegasus had to look away because whatever the duelist was showing him, was too bright to even look at.
[b]Aaaaaaand there are [i]plenty[/i] of jokes I could be making right now, but I’m much too mature to make any of theFLASHERLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/b]

"And just what is that?" asked Pegasus.

"Duel me and fine out," said the hidden duelist.
[b]Wait wait wait. Pegasus has his Millennium Eye on the line, and Pegasus doesn’t even [i]know[/i] what the other guy is betting, and he just accepts? Couldn’t he like, use EJIPSHUN LAZUR BEEMZ to make them go away? Oh, wait, I used that joke already. Whatever, Pegasus conveniently accepts for no reason. Continue, my good man.[/b]

Pegasus snapped his fingers and the dueling arena came down from the ceiling and both duelists walked up placing their cards onto the arena deck zone and drew five cards.
[b]Actually that only happened the very first time, when he dueled Kaiba. Afterwards it just stayed there. Also, these half-dozen things happened in one sentence. That’s bad writing. Not that you care – I doubt you, dear author, even know what writing is.[/b]

Pegasus:2000 Jon Doe:2000
[b]ha ha itz funy bcas jon doe is teh name polees use wen dey dont no teh name uv a gai[/b]

"I may have lost to Yugi with this opening move, but there is no way that you can beat me," said Pegasus confindently. "I summon..."
[b]I’m quite confindent something is wrong here…[/b]

"Let me guess," said the duelist. "You'll summon Red Archery Girl in defense mode after placing a card face down."

"Ugh," said Pegasus placing the cards down ending his turn. "How did you know?"

"Because, I've seen this coming for some time Pegasus," said the duelist snickering. "Now it's my turn, and the end of the line for you."
[b]Well, I don’t know. I mean, if you’d watched the duel with Yugi, Pegasus already said he was using the same opening move. I’m curious if that also means he Set Tears of a Mermaid, which had some crappy effect involving negating Equip Cards or something…[/b]

The guards on the outside were bringing Kimo inside when all they heard was their master screaming from the other room.
[b]Hey, wait a minute, Pegasus has the Millennium Eye! Okay, pretty obvious, but come on, he can read a person’s mind. If he wants to know what the Magic Light of Flashers is, he could read the guys mind. He can know why the guy wants his Eye, and – of course – what cards he’s going to play. Along with overpowered cards (compared to everybody else in Season 1), how could he possibly lose? Yugi only won because he was able to prevent Pegasus from reading his mind.[/b]

They rushed in to see what was going on, but when they got there, his boss and Bakura were laying in the middle of the dueling arena, without their Millenium Items. All that was left, was note.
[b]I…can’t come up with anything clever to say here. So…that’s stupid. “Was note”.[/b]

These two clowns, beaten and mangled
Only five more, to be clobbered and strangled
-The Infinite Seven-
[b]And the author proves he can rhyme. Congratulations.

Was this crap? Yes. I don’t get it, there was no description at all, no genuine dialogue, and it was pretty short, too. It also messed with Pegasus and Bakura, the two most [s]homosexual[/s] unbeatable villains in Yu-Gi-Oh!. You don’t do that.[/b][/spoiler]
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