LRPXD Posted December 9, 2010 Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 [center][IMG]http://i976.photobucket.com/albums/ae241/LRPXD/RC2.jpg[/IMG] [spoiler=This card's story] Two witches with the proficient art of the Forbidden Techniques, they yet to reach up their potential but powerful enough to go toe to toe against their rival Dark Magician Girl, they may seem innocent and weak at first but don't let that fool you their power is immeasurable, so many people praised these girls for all the good deeds they have done but everything went wrong once they heard the declaration of the High King, the girls were banished and sealed to an endless realm where time stood still, reasons were that their Forbidden Magic required the souls of the dead which was illegal and a unnatural form of magic they were kept in there for 5 years until one day they escaped, all was seen during the escape were 5 mysterious seals. [/spoiler] [i]This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. You can Special Summon this card from your hand when your opponent summons an Effect Monster. If this card successfully Summoned remove up to 5 Gemini monsters from your Graveyard to increase this card's ATK and DEF by 400 for each Gemini monster removed by this effect. This monster cannot be destroyed by battle against Effect monsters, any Battle Damage you take involving this card is doubled. Once per turn you can discard 1 Spell Card from your hand and lower this card's ATK and DEF by 400 to search through your deck and select 1 Spell or Trap Card with "Forbidden" in it's name and add it to your hand. When this card engages battle against a Gemini monster, double this card's ATK and DEF until the end of the Damage Step. Once per turn, when this card engages battle against a non-Gemini Effect monster send that card back to it's owner's hand after the Damage Step and put 1 Forbidden Seal Counter on it (max. 1). Effect Monsters with a Forbidden Seal Counter are treated as Gemini monsters it's effects are negated and can only activate once it is Normal Summoned again. Forbidden Seal Counters are removed once the monsters is sent to the Graveyard or if it's Removed from play. After the the 7th turn this card was summoned, Normal Summon this monster again as a Normal monster. [/i][/center] [spoiler=Forbidden Arts] [spoiler=Soul Control] [img]http://img690.imageshack.us/img690/6536/260988b.jpg[/img] This card can only be equipped to a face-up monster on your side of the field with "Forbidden" in it's name. The equipped monster gains 50 ATK and DEF for each removed from play monster on your side. Once per turn you can send 1 of your removed from play monsters back to your Graveyard to switch the Battle Position of 1 Defense Position Monster on your opponent's side of the field into face-up Attack Position it must declare an attack during your opponent's next Battle Phase. [/spoiler] [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted December 9, 2010 Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 Holy profanity that's a lot of text!!! Probably one effect too much, I'd take out the power boost for battling Gemini because it will very rarely happen. But I love the idea, I really do. The card art is not something I usually care about but it looks good. Rep for you good sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master White Posted December 9, 2010 Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 Wow...please reduce the reading, or something, in order for me to rate, I'd need to have five hours on my hand, yikes, its okay to have a long effect time after time, but boy, thats just a lot. But thanks for reminding me of a contest I'm going to do, something I haven't held in awhile. By reducing, make it small txt or something, thats all. like this [size=1]hello[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LRPXD Posted December 9, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 [quote name='Matt Bahamut' timestamp='1291929152' post='4840231'] Holy profanity that's a lot of text!!! Probably one effect too much, I'd take out the power boost for battling Gemini because it will very rarely happen. But I love the idea, I really do. The card art is not something I usually care about but it looks good. Rep for you good sir. [/quote] Thanks I gave u rep as well u deserved it when reading through this wall of text. Also the power boost for battling against Gemini Monsters is essential, it's a combo that goes along with their other effect of placing the Forbidden Seal Counter.[quote name='General White' timestamp='1291933008' post='4840353'] Wow...please reduce the reading, or something, in order for me to rate, I'd need to have five hours on my hand, yikes, its okay to have a long effect time after time, but boy, thats just a lot. But thanks for reminding me of a contest I'm going to do, something I haven't held in awhile. [/quote] lol just read their effects on the top, the bottom portion it's just their Normal Monster description. I gave u a rep for reading this wall of text, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master White Posted December 9, 2010 Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 Bolded parts are my opinions and fixes. This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. You can Special Summon this card from your hand when your opponent summons an Effect Monster.If this card is successfully summoned[b], remove up to 5 Gemini monsters from your Graveyard to increase this card's ATK and DEF by 400 for each Gemini monster removed by this effect[/b]. This monster cannot be destroyed by battle against Effect monsters, any Battle Damage you take involving this card is doubled. Once per turn you can discard 1 Spell Card from your hand and lower this card's ATK and DEF by 200 to search through your deck and select 1 Spell or Trap Card with "Forbidden" in it's name and add it to your hand. Each time you activate a "Forbidden" Spell or Trap Card select 1 of your removed from play Gemini monsters and add it to your hand. When this card engages battle against a Gemini monster, double this card's ATK and DEF until the end of the Damage Step. Once per turn, when this card engages battle against a non-Gemini Effect monster send that card back to it's owner's hand after the Damage Step and put 1 Forbidden Seal Counter on it (max. 1). Effect Monsters with a Forbidden Seal Counter are treated as Gemini monsters it's effects are negated and can only activate once it is Normal Summoned again. Forbidden Seal Counters are removed once the monsters are sent to the Graveyard or if it's Removed from play. After the the 7th turn this card was summoned, Normal Summon this monster again as a Normal monster with this description: ●Two witches with the proficient art of the Forbidden Techniques, they yet to reach up their potential but powerful enough to go toe to toe against their rival Dark Magician Girl, they may seem innocent and weak at first but don't let that fool you their power is immeasurable, so many people praised these girls for all the good deeds they have done but everything went wrong once they heard the declaration of the High King, the girls were banished and sealed to an endless realm where time stood still, reasons were that their Forbidden Magic required the souls of the dead which was illegal and a unnatural form of magic they were kept in there for 5 years until one day they escaped, all was seen during the escape were 5 mysterious seals. [b] There are more OCG errors, but it'd take to long for me to fix. There is so much going on, its too much, I can't rate it. You officially created a unratable card by members of 5 or lower. maybe some other 5 star members can, but gee, these effects are good, but, it'd make it greater if you put these efects are seperate on other cards, make a set out of this effect. Just, to be honest, I did read until I got to the lore, and was tired by the end... But its soo much going on that I'm sorry, but I cannot critique it, let someone tell you...But this to me is way to powerful... [/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LRPXD Posted December 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 Thanks General White for the suggestion but I'm to lazy to make another set I currently busy with another one, most my cards in the RC section have long effects I thought people got use to them sorry if this was too much I just took out one their card's effects to make it a little shorter and less powerful. Hopefully this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master White Posted December 10, 2010 Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 Well, yea, I know, its just a suggestion... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LRPXD Posted December 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 Bump anymore comments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max. Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 YOU'RE NEW TYPES CONFUZZLE MEH!!!!! but seriously, nice card. 9.5/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krazyxgamer Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 damn, this is one nice card, i would just take out the whole bottom portion, the description part is unneeded, makes it so ppl don't have to read so much lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LRPXD Posted December 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 [quote name='Cornholio' timestamp='1292027500' post='4842720'] YOU'RE NEW TYPES CONFUZZLE MEH!!!!! but seriously, nice card. 9.5/10 [/quote] Lol thanks 4 the rate it's much appreciated sorry ran out of reps to give out to u guys/girls you'll hav to wait to 2morrow. [quote name='krazyxgamer' timestamp='1292041605' post='4843401'] damn, this is one nice card, i would just take out the whole bottom portion, the description part is unneeded, makes it so ppl don't have to read so much lol [/quote] Hahaha thx again krazyxgamer As much as I want to take out the bottom portion I dnt know it feels incomplete If I take it out and I like the description fits their pic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeppeli Gyro Supreme Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 Pretty much everything that's already been said. Other than that, there's no point to a card having flavor text as part of its effect. You can just write that on your own for fun underneath the card. No need to make it actually part of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LRPXD Posted December 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 [quote name='slayer_supreme' timestamp='1292055647' post='4843801'] Pretty much everything that's already been said. Other than that, there's no point to a card having flavor text as part of its effect. You can just write that on your own for fun underneath the card. No need to make it actually part of it. [/quote] makes sense thanks I'll just do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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