First Card

[✪RION]

[b][center]The title says all so this is my card and I really need your help to improve it so I can make other support around it which would be a set full of random monster(cause I'm kinda tired with archetype lately). Any helpful and comment that can improve this gets a freaking +rep so yeah bla bla bla...
-Image credit goes to deviantart...If there's any cool place for me to find a pic would be great too
[spoiler='Megiddo, The Dragon Of Armageddon'][img]http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/7875/365966.jpg[/img][spoiler='LORE']You must Tribute 3 DARK monsters to Normal Summon this card (you cannot Set this card). The Normal Summon of this card cannot be negated. When this card is Normal Summoned, all Spells and Effect Monster effects cannot be activated. When this card is Summoned, you can remove from play up to 3 Fiend-Type, Zombie-Typeor Dragon-Type monster from your Graveyard. For each monster removed this way, increase this card ATK by 500 until End Phase.While face-up on the field, you can return 1 monsters removed from play by this card's effect to the bottom of your deck and gain's it's effect until End Phase. When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can removed that monster from play instead.[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]

so comment/rate/hate/whatever[/center][/b]

[†Marksman†]

Wow, I'm overwhelmed. Too many effects if you ask me, and that makes it overpowered. Your OCG is a bit off, which I fix below. As I said though, just too many effects. Anyhow, the picture is actually pretty cool looking, to me. So, that's a good thing, as lots of people (Like me) have there ratings be based on the picture. (Not based, just a majority of it.) The effects seemed balanced too me, but I kind of skimmed the card.. Anyhow, for a first card, I think you did wonderful. Bravo, Bravo. 9/10.

(I believe we start with [This card cannot be...])
Proper OCG:
This card cannot be Set. Normal Summon this card only be Tributing 3 monsters. The Normal Summon of this card cannot be negated. When this card is Normal Summoned, no card effects can be activated. When this card is Summoned, you can remove from play up to 3 Fiend-Type, Zombie-Type or Dragon-Type monsters from your Graveyard. For each monster removed this from play by this card's effect, increase this card ATK by 500. While face-up on the field, this card gains the same effects as those monsters removed from play by this card's effect. When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can removed that monster from play instead.

Keep up the good work!

[✪RION]

[center][quote name='†Marksman†' timestamp='1298128788' post='5018728']
Wow, I'm overwhelmed. Too many effects if you ask me, and that makes it overpowered. Your OCG is a bit off, which I fix below. As I said though, just too many effects. Anyhow, the picture is actually pretty cool looking, to me. So, that's a good thing, as lots of people (Like me) have there ratings be based on the picture. (Not based, just a majority of it.) The effects seemed balanced too me, but I kind of skimmed the card.. Anyhow, for a first card, I think you did wonderful. Bravo, Bravo. 9/10.

(I believe we start with [This card cannot be...])
Proper OCG:
This card cannot be Set. Normal Summon this card only be Tributing 3 monsters. The Normal Summon of this card cannot be negated. When this card is Normal Summoned, no card effects can be activated. When this card is Summoned, you can remove from play up to 3 Fiend-Type, Zombie-Type or Dragon-Type monsters from your Graveyard. For each monster removed this from play by this card's effect, increase this card ATK by 500. While face-up on the field, this card gains the same effects as those monsters removed from play by this card's effect. When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can removed that monster from play instead.

Keep up the good work!
[/quote]

check out this card->[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Obelisk_the_Tormentor"](click here)[/url] and tell me if the ocg is off. Other than that, tell me about what so overpowered about it then we shall talk.[/center]

[Darnez FC]

Considering how easy it is to summon, this card is WAY too overpowered.

It's summon (at least it's Normal Summon) can't be stopped in any way. Which is fine, if that were to be it's only effect (or if it's next effects wouldn't make it as overpowered as it is). By sending 3 monsters of a specific type out of play, this monster becomes one of the most powerful cards in the game, AND it gains the effects of the monsters you've sent out of play (which i'll admit, is a UNIQUE effect, is WAY too overpowered. It should be a one turn thing at best, as should the ATK increase). The effects of the other monsters could also end up contradicting each other, causing problems (ie: A monster that can't be destroyed by battle and a monster that can only be destroyed by battle, for example).

There's no real drawback, so to speak.

If the effects were one turn only things (so you would have to keep sending monsters out of play for it to work) then it might not be so overpowered. But as it stands, it is just too powerful.

Cool picture though.

[†Marksman†]

[quote name='Killswitch Engaged' timestamp='1298129202' post='5018737']
[center]

check out this card->[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Obelisk_the_Tormentor"](click here)[/url] and tell me if the ocg is off. Other than that, tell me about what so overpowered about it then we shall talk.[/center]
[/quote]
So, Now that you've show'd me, I have to remove pretty much all my rating. This is because, you copied the whole description of Obelisk and put it here. No originality, no glory. 3/10 now, sorry. Just try not to copy other card's effects. (Not saying don't get ideas from them, just don't copy them.)

[✪RION]

[center]@Darnez FC, thanks! I'll get on it and anymore drawback recommendation
@†Marksman†, if you said I copied it, then if I used this ocg instead [quote]This card cannot be Set. Normal Summon this card only be Tributing 3 monsters. The Normal Summon of this card cannot be negated. When this card is Normal Summoned, no card effects can be activated. When this card is Summoned, you can remove from play up to 3 Fiend-Type, Zombie-Type or Dragon-Type monsters from your Graveyard. For each monster removed this from play by this card's effect, increase this card ATK by 500. While face-up on the field, this card gains the same effects as those monsters removed from play by this card's effect. When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can removed that monster from play instead.[/quote] would that just copied this card? ([url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Destiny_Hero_-_Plasma"]click here)[/url] or this card [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Destiny_Hero_-_Dogma"](click here)[/url] or should I say this card[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Raviel,_Lord_of_Phantasms"](click here)[/url] so don't be silly. I know you're trying to help but I just wanted you to know that the ocg is correct.[/center]

[Darnez FC]

I'm not sure about the monster gaining the effects of the monsters sent out of play, as the effects could end up contradicting one another (as I said previously). But I don't want to suggest that you get rid of that effect entirely as it is indeed unique. I would make the ATK boost and effects of other monsters thing a one turn deal. Maybe an LP cost (500-1000) before the effect can be activated?

Maybe make it harder to summon? Tribute 3 monsters of a specific attribute maybe?

[✪RION]

[center][quote name='Darnez FC' timestamp='1298131642' post='5018781']
I'm not sure about the monster gaining the effects of the monsters sent out of play, as the effects could end up contradicting one another (as I said previously). But I don't want to suggest that you get rid of that effect entirely as it is indeed unique. I would make the ATK boost and effects of other monsters thing a one turn deal. Maybe an LP cost (500-1000) before the effect can be activated?

Maybe make it harder to summon? Tribute 3 monsters of a specific attribute maybe?
[/quote]

OK card fixed..hope it's less broken-issh... and a rep for you again sir[/center]

[Darnez FC]

Definitely less broken now, good job.

[Organized Chaos]

Wow, this card is amazing for your first. It's ATK gaining effect's fine, some people use Sin Truth Dragon these days. The efect of removing them from play is good as all 3 oof those type's main strategy normally involves the graveyard, I also like the returning effect as well. The pic is superb , really shows the card in itself. The main effect ma e copied byt we all have to sometimes. I just have 1 bad thing o say : 3 monster-tributers are NEVER used. Except for Obelisk. The main reasin is most decks in the Meta focus on speed and flexibility not tribute summoning. Except for Monarchs. Apart from that minor problem and a few minor OCG errors, it's a good card. 9/10 + rep, you'll go far here and I like your sig

[✪RION]

[center][quote name='Endless Nightmares' timestamp='1298132597' post='5018814']
Wow, this card is amazing for your first. It's ATK gaining effect's fine, some people use Sin Truth Dragon these days. The efect of removing them from play is good as all 3 oof those type's main strategy normally involves the graveyard, I also like the returning effect as well. The pic is superb , really shows the card in itself. The main effect ma e copied byt we all have to sometimes. I just have 1 bad thing o say : 3 monster-tributers are NEVER used. Except for Obelisk. The main reasin is most decks in the Meta focus on speed and flexibility not tribute summoning. Except for Monarchs. Apart from that minor problem and a few minor OCG errors, it's a good card. 9/10 + rep, you'll go far here and I like your sig
[/quote]
thanks dude. Any suggestion on how to make it less errors or whatever?[/center]

[✪RION]

[center][size="4"][b]Bumpty bumputy BUMP[/b][/size][/center]

[Dries965]

You have a double effect in there which states the same thing

The Normal Summon of this card cannot be negated.
When this card is Normal Summoned, all Spells and Effect Monster effects cannot be activated.

[✪RION]

[quote name='Dries965' timestamp='1298211095' post='5020617']
You have a double effect in there which states the same thing

The Normal Summon of this card cannot be negated.
When this card is Normal Summoned, all Spells and Effect Monster effects cannot be activated.
[/quote]

nope guy! the first effect says that the normal summon of this card cannot be negated. the second effect stated that when it is summoned to the field, all spell and effect monster cannot be activate! Get it? got it? good! now move on...

[Lexadin]

Oh jolly. Another God Card lookalike.

Anyway, I'll try too give this a acurate rating.

The img is pretty good, even though it is somewhat vague.
OCG fix: [i]While face-up on the field, you can return 1 monsters removed from play by this card's effect to the bottom of your [b]D[/b]eck[b].[/b] [s]and [/s] [b]This card[/b] gains it's effect until [b]the [/b]End Phase.[/i]
It's effects self are quite unoriginal, as it is just a collection of Random often used effects put onto a card.
It is however horribly OP (OverPowered), first of all, its very easy to Summon as Dark Monsters are excelent Swarmers. Secondly It's combinations of effect and if played well can cause a OTK when milling enough Zombies/Fiends in your Grave it can easily gain rediculous amounts of ATK and with a addition of a pearcer it can pierce through any Defence. Then even if you manage to survive its possible OTK attack, it still has 3500 base Attack. And with enough piercers in the Grave it will soon be over.
Now don't get me wrong, you don't have to make UP cards now. But really, the so-called "restriction" you put on this card don't really do the trick. Try giving it more, or remove some of its effects. Then it could be fine.

A 7/10, welcome to YCM.

[✪RION]

[quote name='Lexadin' timestamp='1298648242' post='5033422']
Oh jolly. Another God Card lookalike.

Anyway, I'll try too give this a acurate rating.

The img is pretty good, even though it is somewhat vague.
OCG fix: [i]While face-up on the field, you can return 1 monsters removed from play by this card's effect to the bottom of your [b]D[/b]eck[b].[/b] [s]and [/s] [b]This card[/b] gains it's effect until [b]the [/b]End Phase.[/i]
It's effects self are quite unoriginal, as it is just a collection of Random often used effects put onto a card.
It is however horribly OP (OverPowered), first of all, its very easy to Summon as Dark Monsters are excelent Swarmers. Secondly It's combinations of effect and if played well can cause a OTK when milling enough Zombies/Fiends in your Grave it can easily gain rediculous amounts of ATK and with a addition of a pearcer it can pierce through any Defence. Then even if you manage to survive its possible OTK attack, it still has 3500 base Attack. And with enough piercers in the Grave it will soon be over.
Now don't get me wrong, you don't have to make UP cards now. But really, the so-called "restriction" you put on this card don't really do the trick. Try giving it more, or remove some of its effects. Then it could be fine.

A 7/10, welcome to YCM.
[/quote]

DID you just say my card is bad? You know what I'm gonna do to you!? Kidding dude, well thanks for a very detailed review of it, considering it's my first attempt so...anyway, a +rep for you for helping me.