cloud7184 Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 hope you like my new card (note i dont care what i did wrong im not here to get fame i just like making cards and showing them off) [spoiler='monsters'][img]http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/936/375832i.jpg[/img] [img]http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/5848/375832n.jpg[/img] [img]http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/7370/375832.jpg[/img] [/spoiler] [spoiler='spells'][img]http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/7370/375832.jpg[/img] [img]http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/7521/375832g.jpg[/img][/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mecha Love Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 You can't really show off cards with bad OCG like this. If you let people advise tou then your cards will be better and more people will like them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloud7184 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 [quote name='Elemental Dragon' timestamp='1299619457' post='5060906'] You can't really show off cards with bad OCG like this. If you let people advise tou then your cards will be better and more people will like them. [/quote] want to know how to really help me.... tell me what is OCG cause people keep saying it and it doest help if i dont even know what it is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mecha Love Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Official card grammar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloud7184 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 [quote name='Elemental Dragon' timestamp='1299619828' post='5060928'] Official card grammar. [/quote] people really think i care if my card's grammar is likes a real one grammar they can think what they want then still dont care if they dont like my grammar then dont look at my posts all i have to say really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ieyasu Tokugawa Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 [quote name='cloud7184' timestamp='1299620037' post='5060938'] people really think i care if my card's grammar is likes a real one grammar they can think what they want then still dont care if they dont like my grammar then dont look at my posts all i have to say really [/quote] At least use good English Grammer. Your grammer is just plain bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mecha Love Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Fine. But this IS the realistic card section so people look for ocg errors Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloud7184 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 you can say your erorrs about OCG just do it nicely i deal with things agressively so if there is a OCG probelm say so as nicely as you can if you cant do it that why then dont say it at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefman Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 OCG is not very strong in these cards, but if you post their description people can help you. The last spell should be a ritual spell, since it's summoning a ritual monster. Don't worry, with a little work, these cards could turn out nicely. But for now, 6/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloud7184 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 [quote name='MechaSanphred' timestamp='1299620734' post='5060971'] OCG is not very strong in these cards, but if you post their description people can help you. The last spell should be a ritual spell, since it's summoning a ritual monster. Don't worry, with a little work, these cards could turn out nicely. But for now, 6/10 [/quote] i didt know i could make it a ritual spell when i duel in RL or game i never used ritual cards i fix that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ieyasu Tokugawa Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 The main problem isn't that your cards are incorrect according to YGO standards, but also English standards. You've got sentence fragments, mispelled words, and other stuff. I'll use your ritual monster as an example. And while the capitalization of certain things isn't something for people to get butthurt over, I'll still point them out for future sake. [i][b]This monster[/b] can only be [b]Ritual[/b] [b]S[/b]ummoned by the [b]S[/b]pell [b]C[/b]ard [b]"[/b]*insert spell here*[b]"[/b]. [b]If this monster battles[/b] a [b]DARK[/b] monster, [b]destroy that monster after Damage Calculation[/b].[/i] If your cards are gramatically correct to English standards, nobody's going to yell and will usually point out OCG errors calmly. Now completely disregarding grammer, most of your cards are weak. Your ritual stuff seems fine, but normal monsters are bad without good support, Dragon Master should probably have some defense, and Eye of the Dragon is just a Book of Taiyou with a bonus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsterikcAde Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I'm not gonna try to be a prick or an ass or anything and my OCG is not really that good either and since you're a new member I'll let this slide, 5/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloud7184 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 [quote name='Tsukasa Hiiragi' timestamp='1299621201' post='5061000'] The main problem isn't that your cards are incorrect according to YGO standards, but also English standards. You've got sentence fragments, mispelled words, and other stuff. I'll use your ritual monster as an example. And while the capitalization of certain things isn't something for people to get butthurt over, I'll still point them out for future sake. [i][b]This monster[/b] can only be [b]Ritual[/b] [b]S[/b]ummoned by the [b]S[/b]pell [b]C[/b]ard [b]"[/b]*insert spell here*[b]"[/b]. [b]If this monster battles[/b] a [b]DARK[/b] monster, [b]destroy that monster after Damage Calculation[/b].[/i] If your cards are gramatically correct to English standards, nobody's going to yell and will usually point out OCG errors calmly. Now completely disregarding grammer, most of your cards are weak. Your ritual stuff seems fine, but normal monsters are bad without good support, Dragon Master should probably have some defense, and Eye of the Dragon is just a Book of Taiyou with a bonus. [/quote] my eye of dragon is a book of what ... dragon master inst finshed and i have to go so i finish and redo the grammar on the cards either tonight or tomarrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ieyasu Tokugawa Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 [quote name='cloud7184' timestamp='1299621529' post='5061017'] my eye of dragon is a book of what ... dragon master inst finshed and i have to go so i finish and redo the grammar on the cards either tonight or tomarrow [/quote] [img]http://images.wikia.com/yugioh/images/c/c4/BookofTaiyouPGD-EN-C.jpg[/img] That's what I meant, and if you're not done with Dragon Master, then i'll wait for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Organized Chaos Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Unfortuneatly they are right. But unlike them, I'll show you what's wrong with your cards, how you could improve them and a few places where you can get brilliant images. 1st card : I'll go over the effect first. Actually, it's quite good since alot of people use DARK monsters. It's got relatively high ATK and an ok effect OCG: Darkness Twin Headed Dragon Effect: This card can only be Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell Card, "Seal Breaker Of The Unknown One". If this card attacks or is attacked by a DARK monster, destroy that monster at the end of the Damage Step 2nd card : I can't really understand this card. sorry but you've worded it really difficultly so I can't do OCG. Pic is bad. 3rd card : Vanillas aren't that great unless they have some support. Good pic though 4th card : Eye Of The Dragon should be a Quick Play Spell card as it's effect only activates during the Battle Phase or your Opponent's main phase. Pic is bad. Effect is decent Ocg Fix: activate only when your Opponent Flip Summons a Set monster they control. Negate the Flip Summon and destroy 1 card your Opponent controls. I know it's not your original effect but it's more playable. 5th card : Never use specific monsters in the text of a Ritual Spell. Here is an example of a real Ritual Spell http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Garma_Sword_Oath . Got it memrised. Top Tips : If you're unsure about OCG, go to Yugioh Wikia. They have all the rules and cards of Yugioh on there. You can get good pics from deviantart or JazinKay's archives (search them into Google if you don't know where they are). Pm me if you need any help. I will always help if you need it. And finally........... Never go into Transit Vans with stragers. I hoped those top tips have helped you. See you round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbreakerable Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 i think the cards are a good start. a little OCG fix up and they should be perfect. but you should change the pic on dragon master cuz i know the pic is haseo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ieyasu Tokugawa Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 [quote name='suko nara' timestamp='1299633090' post='5061492'] i think the cards are a good start. a little OCG fix up and they should be perfect. but you should change the pic on dragon master cuz i know the pic is haseo. [/quote] TBH, it really doesn't matter if the pic is from an anime/manga/tvshow whatever as long as it looks realistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloud7184 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 [quote name='Endless Nightmares' timestamp='1299621769' post='5061038'] Unfortuneatly they are right. But unlike them, I'll show you what's wrong with your cards, how you could improve them and a few places where you can get brilliant images. 1st card : I'll go over the effect first. Actually, it's quite good since alot of people use DARK monsters. It's got relatively high ATK and an ok effect OCG: Darkness Twin Headed Dragon Effect: This card can only be Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell Card, "Seal Breaker Of The Unknown One". If this card attacks or is attacked by a DARK monster, destroy that monster at the end of the Damage Step 2nd card : I can't really understand this card. sorry but you've worded it really difficultly so I can't do OCG. Pic is bad. 3rd card : Vanillas aren't that great unless they have some support. Good pic though 4th card : Eye Of The Dragon should be a Quick Play Spell card as it's effect only activates during the Battle Phase or your Opponent's main phase. Pic is bad. Effect is decent Ocg Fix: activate only when your Opponent Flip Summons a Set monster they control. Negate the Flip Summon and destroy 1 card your Opponent controls. I know it's not your original effect but it's more playable. 5th card : Never use specific monsters in the text of a Ritual Spell. Here is an example of a real Ritual Spell http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Garma_Sword_Oath . Got it memrised. Top Tips : If you're unsure about OCG, go to Yugioh Wikia. They have all the rules and cards of Yugioh on there. You can get good pics from deviantart or JazinKay's archives (search them into Google if you don't know where they are). Pm me if you need any help. I will always help if you need it. And finally........... Never go into Transit Vans with stragers. I hoped those top tips have helped you. See you round. [/quote] first off this ritual summon is spefic cause it goes with the side story of my dragon of darkness and 2 did you really steal axel line dude thats so weak lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Organized Chaos Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 [quote name='cloud7184' timestamp='1299688763' post='5062524'] first off this ritual summon is spefic cause it goes with the side story of my dragon of darkness and 2 did you really steal axel line dude thats so weak lol [/quote] Listen buddy, I was trying to help and you push my help away like a martyr to Life Insurance. If the cards were actually good then yes I would be offended too and also you stole the worl lol so stick that up your "spefic ritual card" and smoke it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ieyasu Tokugawa Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 [quote name='Endless Nightmares' timestamp='1299968197' post='5069488'] Listen buddy, I was trying to help and you push my help away like a martyr to Life Insurance. If the cards were actually good then yes I would be offended too and also you stole the worl lol so stick that up your "spefic ritual card" and smoke it. [/quote] lol getting mad on the internet. He said his point of view. Don't get pissy. And rituals needing specific monsters makes them weak. You could say it requires dragon monsters that equal their level or greater, to go with the original ritual theme but give it more specific conditions. Problem is, your monster isn't really worth the requirements being specific like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloud7184 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 [quote name='Endless Nightmares' timestamp='1299968197' post='5069488'] Listen buddy, I was trying to help and you push my help away like a martyr to Life Insurance. If the cards were actually good then yes I would be offended too and also you stole the worl lol so stick that up your "spefic ritual card" and smoke it. [/quote] dude i was never pushing away your help i just said its set up to be that way cause it go with the card's description thats all dude and the whole stealing line thing was just cause im a big KH fan noting else really you dont have to to get mad at someone for pointing it out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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