NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 All gamers know the negative attation M games get so no more M games they will now be rated B Thanks to the huge amount of negative press that violent and mature video games have been getting over the past two years, the gaming industry has finally stepped up and said “enough is enough!” With their own multi-billion dollar backed lobbyists and the support of many government officials (who benefit greatly from campaign contributions and the income provided by the industry to their respective cities/states) the North American gaming industry (specifically EA and Activision) are pushing for the abolishment of the ESRB in favor of a much more easy to understand and effective system.In a joint press conference today in Seattle, Washington, the heads of both EA and Activision Blizzard (their first amicable appearance together to date) announced their new warning system for parents. John R. of EA- “We (Michael G. and myself) are proud to announce the “SLAP” system, and no, SLAP is not an acronym for anything, we literally want to give game retailers the ability to “SLAP” ignorant consumers. We have tried very hard to be patient and understanding, thinking that ‘most parents’ could not possibly be so dumb as to blindly give away hundreds of dollars to young children or purchase violent titles without even bothering to read the blatantly obvious warnings on the cover. Even our patience has limits though.” Michael G. of Activision Blizzard- “What we propose is this: if any parent approaches a game retailer with a child who cannot be proven to be of the appropriate age for whatever title they wish to purchase, the retailer will now be legally obligated to SLAP said parent. And by slap I mean a full on “Sucker, where is my money” backhand. Should an actual child attempt to buy a title above their age category, we will “SLAP” their hopes and dreams by telling them that “Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are not real” and that “they were an accident their parents never wanted.” Since pain aversion treatments have been proven to be effective in changing the negative behavior of field mice, it seemed at least plausible that a similar effect could be obtained among the middle class parent population of North America. The “SLAP” system is in the final stages of implementation but should start to see use before the beginning of the new year. Time will tell if this new system will be able to get through the thick skulls of millions of ignorant consumers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliminateHRN Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 So there will never be a M rating game again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Did you read the article? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliminateHRN Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Yeah I didn't get it at first but now I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Read the entire thing its a joke. Know how every teen criminal is blaming, TV, video games, ect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Static Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Quite hilarious. Though the fault of criminal violence is evolution, not fault. People realize that they gain from hurting, or taking advantage of others, and who cares more about others than themselves? Its simple. Selling Drugs, stealing, hustling, and mugging people is self beneficial if you don't get caught, so why not try it? Note that the selling drugs is not any bit sarcastic, because it does not actually hurt anyone, the rest is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Slime Lord Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 I almost thought that was real until I saw how fake the B rating looked. Funny. :lol: EDIT: Well, it doesn't look too fake. I just thought it looked a little... different or unreal I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 it gets bigger just click on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Slime Lord Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Yeah. I realized that after posting. Thats why I edited my post. xD Remember, kids. The edit button is there for a reason. Use it. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(!Death!Reborn!) Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Wow,can't say anything :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Slime Lord Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Some things are better left unsaid. On a forum, that isn't the case. Either say something new, or nothing at all. :/ Anyway, while we're kinda on the discussion of M ratings, I was ID'd when buying Devil May Cry 4 today. I'm 16 and 7 months old. Like 5 months will make a huge difference. (I knew I shouldn't have shaved today. :P) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Some things are better left unsaid. On a forum' date=' that isn't the case. Either say something new, or nothing at all. :/ Anyway, while we're kinda on the discussion of M ratings, I was ID'd when buying Devil May Cry 4 today. I'm 16 and 7 months old. Like 5 months will make a huge difference. (I knew I shouldn't have shaved today. :P)[/quote']Or something someones already said. When you get caught it even funnier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Slime Lord Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 It wasn't that funny. The guy asked for my ID, so I just showed him my Learner's Permit hoping he would read it wrong or wouldn't care if I was too young by 5 months. He said I was too young to buy the game, so I just called my dad over to smooth things out. It was slightly annoying. :x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Under_Age_User Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Good public satire, but I don't think you should have included: "IT'S A JOKE" at the bottom. It would have been funnier to see how many people didn't even read it. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Where do you live? In some places they will fire people over it. oh bit of advice if you don't the current restrictions don't vote for Clinton SHE WANTS MORE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Static don't you dare turn this into a political thread keep it relavent. Besides most of can't vote anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zachy_syko Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 games dont kill people. guns dont kill people. PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!!! games are there for entertainment and if some stupid kid goes off and copies something out of grand theft auto or summin then thats messed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Altair Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 more like an emo, they have the highest probabilty of doing something like that. Human mind is strange. people want attention and always do the bad ways to get it and when they get it bam the get frunked up and which they havent done it and then blame something which in turn like humans actuall behaviour blame something or someone else and so on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kocrow17 Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Static's post deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 thank you GK 'll post a few more at sometime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Static Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Static's post deleted. Hmm? Was it really a problem for me to insult an American politician? Whatever' date=' if someone wants to take offense to an insult thrown at a lousy contender for the highest position of power in the world, be my guest. Meh, shes not the only lousy one, there all lousy. xD games dont kill people. guns dont kill people. PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!!! games are there for entertainment and if some stupid kid goes off and copies something out of grand theft auto or summin then thats messed! Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns' date=' why should we allow them to have ideas? [/quote'] Why should we allow them to play videogames if it gives them Ideas? Idea's become actions, so why let them have the option to be shown these ideas if it is not to our benefit? Why should we let people be free if they will not bend to our will? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poc Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Rofl, this should turn into some lawsuits rather quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NP Sage Posted February 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 It because the thread would get jacked. And yeah they are all lousy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axiom_Nor Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 LOL!!!! I THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL!!!!! XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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