gurple Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 Yea just wanted to show my first card please enjoy and tell me what i should do to improve. FIXED and thanks Devils Advocate. [img]http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/315/447205.jpg[/img] LORE:Once per turn, pay 500 of your Life Points to Special Summon 1 "Dragunity" Monster from yourdeck to the field. Equip the selected monster to this card. Once 3 "Dragunity" Monsters are equipped on this monster, it gains the following effects: - This card gains 2000 ATK and DEF. - This card cannot be effected by any Spell or Trap Cards. [img]http://img847.imageshack.us/img847/315/447205.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 No attachments are allowed. Because then, how will we know if YOU made the card, and are not just uploading someone else's work? To properly attach a card that you made, open up the card in the YCM, click on the image and then below it, there will be a bar saying "Uploading to Imageshack...please wait" or whatever it says. When it is done, copy and paste that into the typing field. There's also Photobucket as a last resort. Pretty much you do the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gurple Posted July 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 Fixed and thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 There's a lot of OCG problems with this card. It would also behoove you to paste the Lore of the card below the actual card so I can refer back to the actual card effect. It makes it a lot easier. A lot of your upper-class posters would follow this strategy as well. Lol, sorry if I seem like a slave driver, but it's all for an honest and good review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gurple Posted July 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 Lol its k and uhh fixed again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 Ok, now the next step is...... I'm just kidding that time. I think that's everything that I really need. Ok, so.... [quote]Once per turn sacrifice 500 of your life points to special summon one Dragunity monster from the deck to the field. Once the monster is special summoned equip it to this card. Once three dragunity monsters are equipped this monster gains 2000 attack and defense points, also making this card immune to the effects of spell and trap cards.[/quote] I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the twelve years of English that I have taken throughout my schooling, and the two years that I have been playing Yu-Gi-Oh. [quote]Once per turn, [b]pay[/b] 500 of your [b]Life Points[/b] to [b]Special Summon 1 "Dragunity" Monster[/b] from [b]your[/b]deck to the field. [b] Equip the selected monster[/b] to this card. Once [b]3 "Dragunity" Monsters[/b] are equipped [b] on this monster, it gains the following effects: 0 (Pretend this is bullet) This card gains 2000 ATK and DEF. 0 This card cannot be effected by any Spell or Trap Cards.[/b][/quote] All the bolded parts are OCG fixes. Mainly just capitalization and punctuation mistakes, but that's common for a first-timer. Pay = Sacrifice. If you are talking about a specific archetype of monster, always put it in quotations. Spell out your numbers (three = 3, which is backwards in common English). You must claim ownership of your Deck, unless you want to Special Summon from both Decks. Don't say immune. Save it for the Final Fantasy Forum. Ok, the actual card's effect seems pretty OP'ed. Dragunities spawn waay to fast for this card's effect to kick in. I like the fact that it is once per turn, but gaining 2000 ATK and DEF points and then making it invulnerable to Spells and Traps? That means that the only way that this card can leave the field is if it is Tributed or is destroyed in battle, and Five-Headed Dragon is the only card that can destroy it. To me, that screams OP so much that I hear ringing in my brain. My suggestion: Tone down the monster's original ATK and DEF by about 800, and then tone down the Special Effect to about 1000. That seems a bit more bearable. I see you posted another card, too. You know the drill. The artwork on both cards looks fantabulous, but it doesn't look legit. Breakdown: 7/10 - Concept and originality 8/10 - OCG (I won't downgrade you much because you are just starting out) 8/10 - Artwork Total: 7.66/10 (Great) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 1st card: 2000 atk/def gain is way too much, I'd make it no more than 1200 and not being effected by spells/traps is also a bit much, I'd make it only not DESTROYED by spells/traps 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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