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Apostle of Calamity

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[quote name='Akira' timestamp='1316121313' post='5516846']
[img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Kt_yYbqGc2M/TbA8GwWdaxI/AAAAAAAAAMM/Ix-o0a3-QU0/s1600/son-connery-so-a-man-walks-into-a-bar-with-a-monkey-i-forgot-the-rest-of-the-joke-but-your-mom-is-a-whore.jpg[/img]
[/quote]


Winning!

Anyways, IMO racism jokes are the funniest. Not that I'm racist or anything, but they just make me laugh.

Especially when used against white people XD

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[spoiler=joke #1]
Person1: Wanna hear a knock knock joke?
Person2: Sure
Person1: *knock-knock*
Person2: Come in
Person1: [img]http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/poker-face-meme.jpg[/img][/spoiler]
[spoiler=joke #2]
Person1: Wanna hear a knock knock joke?
Person2: Sure
Person1: Ok you start.
Person2: *knock-knock*
Person1: Who's there?
Person2: ?????? *awkward silence*[/spoiler]
[spoiler=joke #3]
What's the best part about an unfinished joke?[/spoiler]

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

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[quote name='Sonic Dragon' timestamp='1316311568' post='5521690']
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
[/quote]

Cruelty at it's finest.

[font="Verdana"][size="2"]Ways to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer:

10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is "Bubba".

4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

And, The Number One Way To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer...

The mouse is referred to as a "critter". [/size][/font]

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Top 10 reasons why hockey is better than women

1. In hockey, everyone likes it rough.
2. You only gt 5 minutes for fighting.
3. 'Puck' is not a dirty word.
4. You don't have to play in the neutral zone.
5. It's possible to score a few times a night.
6. When you 'pull the goalie' nobody gets pregnant.
7. Missing teeth doesn't stop you from scoring.
8. You can always get new wood if your stick breaks.
9. The zamboni gets to clean up the mess.
10. Periods only last 20 minutes.

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