The Witching Hour - Voting Stage

[Agro]

My top 3 choices

 

1. Crimson Jackal

2. Lady in Red

3. Enjoy your Meal

 

I think /half-asleep

T_T you're not helping make matt feel better

[DL]

4 is Matt tho

 

So at the very least I consider his story in the top half.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

*trying to remember specific feedback from a week ago*

Yours was good/well-written and the idea wasn't bad, I just don't think I got why the ghost decided to protect the therapist all of a sudden.

 

Thanks but, erm... the psychiatrist WAS the murderer... (and the girls estranged father, hence the importance of describing appearance as commented on below by Dark). I wanted to make that clear by putting red X's on the faces of the kids on that photo who he'd already got, but ran out of words so cut it. Bad decision.

 

As to why he would be projecting a hologram of a ghost before his daughter after commiting these murderers... well that comes under the bad explanation Umbra refered to. Obviously I could argue now that he is clearly a bit of a loon, or perhaps trying to cover his tracks if she went to the police, but also obviously having to explain this in hindsight is a mark of bad storytelling. I guess at the time you have to leave some aspects to the imagination in horror, but maybe I'm wrong this time. Ah well.

 

Confusion like that is probably justification enough as to why I shouldn't have won :lol:

 

It would have been interesting if in the end the girl was the ghost all along

 

Anyway, it in itself wasn't bad, I'm glad I got to actually SEE one of the characters (as opposed to mine where she just has blond hair, but oh well, had nothing left to chop, so I had to go for a bit of description xD)

 

See the above. Thanks.

 

T_T you're not helping make matt feel better

 

I feel fine really. Just wanted, as all authors do, some analysis as to where I did well and where I didn't. Now I know, it's cool. :)

[Quiksilver]

I did enjoy reading Enjoy Your Meal, but I couldn't consider it my favourite because it didn't scare me, because as soon as I read 'I'm a nerd being asked to dinner by a hot girl' then yeah, you're dead.

 

I can see how you came to that. I wanted to write a horror story based on what seems like a normal situation, so that people could relate to it, but I also wanted to slip in enough details that you'd go "Gasp! So that's why the quarterback hasn't show up to school!" and stuff like that. This kind of conflict, between Strange vs. Ordinary, and also being limited to 1000 words, made it a bit of a stretch, though, I think. Thanks for all the feedback on my story!

 

All the stories were great, but It'll be Fine gave me the biggest chill, so that's what I'm voting for.

 

Matt, the ending could have done with more explanation. I had a vague sense that he was the murderer, but it wasn't concrete, you know? You needed to make that more clear, I think. It still was a pretty creepy story, so 'grats.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

I can see how you came to that. I wanted to write a horror story based on what seems like a normal situation, so that people could relate to it, but I also wanted to slip in enough details that you'd go "Gasp! So that's why the quarterback hasn't show up to school!" and stuff like that. This kind of conflict, between Strange vs. Ordinary, and also being limited to 1000 words, made it a bit of a stretch, though, I think. Thanks for all the feedback on my story!

 

All the stories were great, but It'll be Fine gave me the biggest chill, so that's what I'm voting for.

 

Matt, the ending could have done with more explanation. I had a vague sense that he was the murderer, but it wasn't concrete, you know? You needed to make that more clear, I think. It still was a pretty creepy story, so 'grats.

 

I'm no expert but I guess you're was a more a planted fear in that the situation was suss and built up tension that way, rather than an attempt for a sudden shock like mine (which failed as you said, because the end didn't make it clear enough).

 

Thank you for your feedback.

[Agro]

*is not getting any feedback* ...._.

[DL]

*is not getting any feedback* ...._.

Well...yours was actually a nice narrative.

 

It had quite a bit of unnecessary tell (it was beautiful, It was hot, etc. There are a million ways to convey that it's hot. In fact, you DID convey it was hot by having him wipe away sweat, no need to tell us) and some redundancy (he reached into his mouth to see if there were cuts in his mouth)

 

But aside from that, it wasn't so bad.

 

It wasn't so much horror as surprise, IMO.

 

It was interesting to see him decay tho.

[~Tico~]

And I suppose my story was the worst. (Sighs before banging head on wall)

[Agro]

Well...yours was actually a nice narrative.

 

It had quite a bit of unnecessary tell (it was beautiful, It was hot, etc. There are a million ways to convey that it's hot. In fact, you DID convey it was hot by having him wipe away sweat, no need to tell us) and some redundancy (he reached into his mouth to see if there were cuts in his mouth)

 

But aside from that, it wasn't so bad.

 

It wasn't so much horror as surprise, IMO.

 

It was interesting to see him decay tho.

The redundancies I blame on me not rereading it because I was already extremely tired from bringing it down to 1,000 words and just missed it.

 

I think I mentioned it before, but the whole point was to have a run-in with the abject, something less than human, only to realize that you are what you're fearing. I definitely could have done it better though.

[DL]

The redundancies I blame on me not rereading it because I was already extremely tired from bringing it down to 1,000 words and just missed it.

 

I actually proofread mine like twice to see if I made any silly mistakes. And they were there. I am glad. Moral: Proofreading is your friend.

 

I think I mentioned it before, but the whole point was to have a run-in with the abject, something less than human, only to realize that you are what you're fearing. I definitely could have done it better though.

 

I think so. Then again, 1000 words doesn't give much room to work with.

 

And I suppose my story was the worst. (Sighs before banging head on wall)

Nah, yours was pretty cool....it just wasn't really horror

 

More like fantasy

 

So the ghost of a dead girl wants someone to be with her forever.

 

It's far from scary, and the ending was sudden

 

And the "Beautiful beyond anything he had ever seen" (or somethin) could have been represented without telling us.

 

Regardless, there were good points (such as pretty natural dialogue, and so forth)

[bury the year]

Wow. The auto-lock feature actually worked. :'D

 

Anyways, the winner of the contest is DarkLink401 with "It'll be Fine." Congratulations! As your prize, I will sticky any fic you have in this section for up to one month. You can redeem this for a thread you have now or in the future: just PM me when you want to use it. To everyone else, good work regardless, and better luck next time! I'll try holding more contests of these types in the future. :3