Lva beast

[kevin7653]

i need ocg fix and input fast
[img]http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/6280/218546.jpg[/img]
Lore:When this card is attacked by an opponents monster deal 500 damage to your opponent.Once per turn you may sacrifice the top card on your deck to deal 800 damage to your opponent.For every card in your graveyard this card gains 100 ATK.

[groniack]

When this card is attacked by an opponents monster [s]deal[/s] [u]inflict[/u] 500 damage to your opponent.Once per turn you may [s]sacrifice[/s] [u]send[/u] the top card [s]on[/s] [u]of[/u] your deck to the [u]Graveyard to[/u] deal 800 damage to your opponent.For every card in your graveyard this card gains 100 ATK.

The ATK gain is too much because people like having monsters in their Graveyards. Other than that, I like your card.

[The Jazz]

OCG fix:

[b]This card gains 100 ATK for each card in your Graveyard.[/b] [s]When[/s] [b]If [/b]this card is attacked[b]:[/b] [s]by an opponents monster deal[/s] [b]Your opponent takes[/b] 500 damage [s]to your opponent[/s].Once per turn[b]:[/b] [b]Y[/b]ou [s]may sacrifice[/s] [b]can send[/b] the top card [s]on[/s] [b]of[/b] your [b]D[/b]eck to [b]the Graveyard;[/b] [s]deal 800 damage to[/s] [b]Y[/b]our opponent [b]takes 800 damage[/b]. [s]For every card in your graveyard this card gains 100 ATK.[/s]

Without all the strike through and bold mess, the effect should look like this:

This card gains 100 ATK for each card in your Graveyard. If this card is attacked: Your opponent takes 500 damage. Once per turn: You can send the top card of your Deck to the Graveyard; Your opponent takes 800 damage.

The card isn't severely overpowered at first glance, but then you realize that you probably have around 10 cards in your graveyard... and a level 5 with 3100 attack.
Also, the card gains 100 more ATK and your opponent takes 800 damage once per turn if you want to, and attacking it gets your opponent damaged a bit.
None of the damage is big stuff or too dangerous, but it all builds up after a while. It seems a bit overpowered, but I don't know how to fix it without altering the whole effect.

[ragnarok1945]

well 500 burn isn't really too much

though the 800 extra burn does make up for it somewhat

the 100 atk gain isn't really good either, it'll take too long for it to challenge like lv7 monsters or something

I'd have made it 200 atk gain to make it go faster, then made this lv8 instead

[kevin7653]

som good or not

[ragnarok1945]

it's reasonable, but it's still on the iffy end of it all

[kevin7653]

so how could i fix it lower its atk to 1900 or i could make only monster cards

[ragnarok1945]

yeah I'd lower the base atk to like 1800ish, but then make it 200 for the atk gain to compensate

[kevin7653]

ok i wil;l do that then enter it in the contesst

[img]http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/6985/218546m.jpg[/img]
bettyer

[groniack]

This is even more overpowered. Damage effect is fine but the atk gain is too much. If you have 10 cards in your graveyard (which is very easy) this card gains 2000 ATK . That is way too much for a monster which requires 1 tribute to be summoned.

[ragnarok1945]

[quote name='kevin7653' timestamp='1322486379' post='5672009']
ok i wil;l do that then enter it in the contesst

[img]http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/6985/218546m.jpg[/img]
bettyer
[/quote]

well this one we can't read the lore. Write it out

[The Jazz]

[quote name='kevin7653' timestamp='1322486379' post='5672009']
ok i wil;l do that then enter it in the contesst

[img]http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/6985/218546m.jpg[/img]
bettyer
[/quote]You know when someone takes 5 minutes out of their lives to help you with your OCG the least you can do is fix it :/

[kevin7653]

When this card is attacked by an opponents monster deal 500 damage to your opponent.Once per turn you may sacrifice the top card on your deck to deal 800 damage to your opponent.For every card in your graveyard this card gains 200 ATK.

if its op i could lower the gain or make it monster cards

[kevin7653]

bunp

[kevin7653]

bump

[The Jazz]

[quote name='The Jazz' timestamp='1322513999' post='5672736']
You know when someone takes 5 minutes out of their lives to help you with your OCG the least you can do is fix it :/
[/quote]

[kevin7653]

ok didnt i if not...

[The Jazz]

[quote name='kevin7653' timestamp='1322706715' post='5677578']
ok didnt i if not...
[/quote]No because if you can see...
[quote name='My Post']
This card gains 200 ATK for each card in your Graveyard. If this card is attacked: Your opponent takes 500 damage. Once per turn: You can send the top card of your Deck to the Graveyard; Your opponent takes 800 damage.[/quote]
[quote name='Your Post']
When this card is attacked by an opponents monster deal 500 damage to your opponent.Once per turn you may sacrifice the top card on your deck to deal 800 damage to your opponent.For every card in your graveyard this card gains 200 ATK.[/quote]
See the difference?