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[Xyz Single] Lightning Dragon Azurei


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[URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/811/lightningdragonazurei.jpg/][IMG]http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/431/lightningdragonazurei.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

3 Level 4 LIGHT monsters
Once per turn, you can detach 1 Xyz material from this card: Target 1 monster your opponent controls; destroy that target. While this card is face-up on the field: Your opponent cannot Special Summon monster(s) from their hand and Graveyard. If this card has no Xyz material, you can pay 1000 Life Points: Target 1 Level 4 LIGHT monster you control; attach that target to this card as a Xyz Material.

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After reading this effect 2 things became apparent to me. 1, I could've read the text under the card, and 2, you misspelled "poiunts" towards the end. Idk about this card, I just feel as if this were worded differently, it'd have alot more clarity.

Take the first effect, for example.

"Once per turn: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls. Detach 1 Xyz material from this card; destroy that target."
vs.
"Once per turn, you can detach 1 Xyz material from this card: Target 1 monster your opponent controls; destroy that target."

The reason that my paraphrasing makes more sense (to me) is because there is no period in the middle of the effect (periods tend to denote the end of an effect). Aside from that, after realizing it was all one effect, I looked at it, thought about it, and said "Huh, pretty cool effect."

2nd effect - It would be more fitting if you used "hand or Graveyard" vs. "hand and Graveyard". The former suggest neither location can be accessed individually, while the latter seems to deal with accessing both locations simultaneously (unless that's what you wanted, of course). Besides that, I think that not allowing Special Summons from ONE of these locations is enough.

3rd effect - Nyahhhhh, 3 sentences for one effect. That was confusing. Try this, for clarity:

"If this card has no Xyz material, you can pay 1000 Life Points: Target 1 Level 4 LIGHT monster you control; attach that target to this card as Xyz material."

Now, I feel as if it makes a smidge more sense. The effect, though, is really handy, but if a player plans on reusing this effect often (e.g. A swarm of tokens shows up), the LP cost is slightly unreasonable. I would suggest dropping it to 800 Life Points.

As for the card itself, man, it's awesome. The name is unique and "Azurei" is quite catchy, plus, the art looks nice (although the dragon looks like it could be an epic robot pet from the Transformers cartoon, which makes it cooler). I probably would never've thought of it. Ever. Period. (If you want a score, 8.5/10)

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now this is going to be really powerful

along with the ability to reattach xyz material to it, it's almost broken

personally what I would have said was for the no special summoning from the hand or graveyard, change it slightly:

make that apply while this card is face up on the field WHILE IT STILL HAS XYZ MATERIAL

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Well, of course this card is going to be powerful (what with it requiring 3 Level 4 LIGHT monsters and all)

but you can't say its effect is broken. Far from it

1. He has to pay Life Points to activate the effect
2. He mustn't have Xyz Material attach to allow the activation
3. The targeted in card in question has to be 1 Level 4 LIGHT monster, not Level 3, 4

A decent amount of restriction for a useful effect.

As for making it apply while the card has no Xyz material, what if he runs out of material, but that same turn, he summons 1 Level 4 LIGHT monster? The thing about making it apply while he has no Xyz material is, it won't really matter if he manages to keep 1 attached.

I still say he should make it apply to only 1 location, instead. It'll make this card seem less powerful.

*ends defense for card*

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[quote name='101100111000' timestamp='1325927447' post='5752278']
After reading this effect 2 things became apparent to me. 1, I could've read the text under the card, and 2, you misspelled "poiunts" towards the end. Idk about this card, I just feel as if this were worded differently, it'd have alot more clarity.

Take the first effect, for example.

"Once per turn: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls. Detach 1 Xyz material from this card; destroy that target."
vs.
"Once per turn, you can detach 1 Xyz material from this card: Target 1 monster your opponent controls; destroy that target."

The reason that my paraphrasing makes more sense (to me) is because there is no period in the middle of the effect (periods tend to denote the end of an effect). Aside from that, after realizing it was all one effect, I looked at it, thought about it, and said "Huh, pretty cool effect."

2nd effect - It would be more fitting if you used "hand or Graveyard" vs. "hand and Graveyard". The former suggest neither location can be accessed individually, while the latter seems to deal with accessing both locations simultaneously (unless that's what you wanted, of course). Besides that, I think that not allowing Special Summons from ONE of these locations is enough.

3rd effect - Nyahhhhh, 3 sentences for one effect. That was confusing. Try this, for clarity:

"If this card has no Xyz material, you can pay 1000 Life Points: Target 1 Level 4 LIGHT monster you control; attach that target to this card as Xyz material."

Now, I feel as if it makes a smidge more sense. The effect, though, is really handy, but if a player plans on reusing this effect often (e.g. A swarm of tokens shows up), the LP cost is slightly unreasonable. I would suggest dropping it to 800 Life Points.

As for the card itself, man, it's awesome. The name is unique and "Azurei" is quite catchy, plus, the art looks nice (although the dragon looks like it could be an epic robot pet from the Transformers cartoon, which makes it cooler). I probably would never've thought of it. Ever. Period. (If you want a score, 8.5/10)
[/quote] I think effect 3's target should be level 4 or lower, not just level 4.

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[quote name='ragnarok1945' timestamp='1325930700' post='5752303']along with the ability to reattach xyz material to it, it's almost broken

personally what I would have said was for the no special summoning from the hand or graveyard, change it slightly:

make that apply while this card is face up on the field WHILE IT STILL HAS XYZ MATERIAL
[/quote]
TC, never listen to rag. It's fine as it is, because this'll never live 3 turns.

"3x Level 4 LIGHT Monsters" makes this difficult to summon, but definitely worth the effort. Nice job.

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[quote name='Darkplant - VENOM' timestamp='1326107804' post='5756021']
TC, never listen to rag. It's fine as it is, because this'll never live 3 turns.

"3x Level 4 LIGHT Monsters" makes this difficult to summon, but definitely worth the effort. Nice job.
[/quote]
[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Elemental_HERO_Neos_Alius]Can't agree with that[/url]

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