Please lock...

[bury the year]

Note: These are cards from the most recent Japanese set, so these might not be the right names. Hope you like it, this is my first! Please comment!

 

Note on Title: I've recently changed the title to a name that fits the plotline better. "Kundalini" is Sanskrit, and it literally means "coiled serpent". It refers to the untapped potential that all of us have. Hmmm...

 

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"Let's see... Wow, 120 applicants, and that's for the first-year spots alone..."

 

"Are you sure we'll be able to cut enough of them?"

 

"I hope so. It'll be bad if this class peaks out. Duel Academy has been suffering the last couple of years. Our brightest old prospects have mostly been flashes-in-the-pan, and that doesn't give good rankings."

 

"What about that Yuki kid, eh? He was pretty good."

 

"He was exceptional, I'll give you that. Made it to the top pros in a matter of months. But they can't all be like him..."

 

A group of teachers were huddled around a large table, in the center of a dimmed room. Yards of paper were overflowing from all sides, and a much-frequented coffee maker stood in the center. A definate air of depression hung over the room. None of them were liking the task at hand, but it had to get done. They had been checking over a list of bright potential students, hoping to make it into the most prestigious dueling school in the country.

 

"Alright, applicant #67, check. Put him on. Who's next, Fonda?"

 

The woman in question turned up to look at the speaker. She was very pretty, with chesnut-colored hair. However, the strain of the process was putting lines on her face that wouldn't be there on other women her age.

 

"Applicant #68," she announced. "Taylor Tantruh... Hey, come look at this."

 

Everyone, surprised at her change of tone, got up and crowded around the table. A hushed murmur began to spread around. Whoever this Taylor was, he must've been recognizable.

 

"Taylor Tantrama. Age: fourteen. Only child of the Tantrama family, who run the family-own business Tantric Disks, makers of the best quality Duel Disks in the world?" This exclamation came from an elderly man, wearing a yellow blazer. "Wow. This would be an honor to let him come."

 

"Well then, I say, let him in," Fonda exclaimed, to the shock of many. "We haven't been doing so good, and if he comes from a top dueling family, he'll be the perfec tstar power that we need."

 

"But Fonda..." came a voice from the corner of the room.

 

"But nothing!" she exclaimed. "I've got a good feeling about him. Heck, I'll even proctor him for the entry duel. I just want to give him the chance."

 

Everyone momentarily stunned, they turned to the head of the table, where a man in a dark-red jacket sat.

 

"Fonda, I'll trust your instincts. Applicant #68, check."

 

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CHAPTER 1: A Promising Start

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It was 10:00 AM in the Domino City Convention Hall, and there were many more people than would normally be there. This would've been surprising, except for the fact that all of them were kids, standing around and on the bleacher seats in the center of the hall, and a giant sign outdoors was directing them inside. The sign read something that every one of those kids had been longing for all year.

 

[align=center]DUEL ACADEMY ENTRANCE DUELS!

TRYOUTS ARE LIMITED!

GO TO FRONT DESK TO CHECK FOR YOUR POSTING![/align]

 

In the center of this crowd, being jostled around, stood a young boy, only around 14. He had a shock of snowy, unkempt hair, a dark blue vest, and a constantly tired look plastered on his face. This was Taylor Tantrama, and he was not feeling too good.

 

"Hey, kid. Yeah, you. You feeling okay?"

 

"What? Oh, I'm good," Taylor responded good-naturedly.

 

"Okay. Just hoping you don’t puke on the arena floor. What’s your name, by the way?"

 

"I’m Taylor. Just Taylor, " he responded. He didn't want to tell anyone his last name yet. If anyone found out who his parents were, there could be trouble. "What’s yours?"

 

"I’m Cody Diablo, the next big thing in the world of dueling!" Cody was quite tall, standing 6' 2" and dwarfing the slightly-short Taylor. He had a brown wooly hat planted firmly on his same-colored hair, and kept a small silver earring in his right ear. In all, he was a contrast to Taylor's modesty and lowkey-ness, and looked like he could be the life of the party anywhere. "I hope to get into Obelisk, or maybe Ra. But I'm not dealing with Slifer. I've got TALENT, with a capital T, and I'm gonna show it!"

 

"And I'm assuming that the 'talent' you have comes with a capital A, and an L, and an E, etcetera etcetera etcetera," Taylor retorted. He was starting to feel a bit better. At least I'm not going into this alone, he thought. "So what number are you, Cody? I'm #68."

 

"Wait a sec, Taylor," Cody responded. "If your number is 68, you'd better get going to the arena soon. I heard them just announcing the results for duelist 65! You don't want to miss this moment!"

 

Taylor, stunned for a second, listened to the loudspeaker placed overhead. "And now, duelist number 66, please come onto the field..."

 

"You're right, Cody! I'd better get going! See ya later!" Taylor yelled. He was already running off, fighting his way through the flow of kids.

 

Heh, this Taylor kid's gonna be good, Cody thought. He's going to go somewhere, I'm sure of it.

 

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"And give a round of applause to duelist 67, for passing his exam!" A sweeping, almost infectious excitement passed throughout the room, as everyone clapped for the lucky duelist. "Alright, will duelist 68 please step onto the field." Taylor was just stepping through the doors when he heard the announcement. "Will duelist 68 please step onto the field. Duelist 68, will duelist 68 please step onto the field..."

 

"I'm here, I'm here!" Taylor was breathless, but he made it. "Who am I dueling?"

 

"You'll be dueling me." A pretty young woman wearing a Duel Academy sweatshirt was standing on the other end of the field. "I'm Ms. Fontaine, the academy nurse, and your proctor. You are...?"

 

"Taylor. Just Taylor," he responded. "Sorry for being late."

 

"That's okay. However, we need to start. Shall we?" Two small podiums appeared next to her and Taylor. Each held a regulation Duel Disk, formatted with the academy colors.

 

"Yes, we shall." Taylor pulled a deck box out of his back pocket and slipped its contents into the disk. He then slid the disk onto his arm. "Let's duel!"

 

FONTAINE: 4000 LP

TAYLOR: 4000 LP

 

"I think I'll go first," Ms. Fontaine remarked, while drawing. "And I'll start with Nurse Reficule, the Fallen One, in Atttack Mode (1400/600/LV 4). A demonic-looking woman with blackened wings and bandages all over appeared on the field. She gave a small smirk before settling into position. "I'll now set two cards, and end my turn."

 

"Didn't expect a lady like you to have a monster like that," Taylor said. "I guess I'll draw."

 

"And that's my cue. I activate my trap, Dark Cure. With this out, whenever you summon a monster, you gain Life Points equal to half of its attack."

 

"Thanks, I guess," Taylor responded. "I think I'm gonna summon my Lightlord Paladin Jean (1800/1200/LV 4). A knight with white-and-gold armor and a crimson cape jumped out onto the field. There was a small gasp traveling through the audience, including Ms. Fontaine. She had heard about these Lightlord monsters, but never knew who had them. They were legendary in terms of their mystery.

 

"Your paladin is impressive, but he still activates Dark Cure's effect. Now, you gain 900 life points. Oh, but did I mention my Reficule's effect? If you would increase your life points, you take it as damage instead!"

 

The demonic nurse on Fonda's side of the field began to smile as a reddish aura surrounded her and Taylor. He yelped; even though she was holographic, it felt bad enough.

 

FONTAINE: 4000 LP

TAYLOR: 3100 LP

 

"Well, that stinks. But this won't. Now, my paladin is going to attack your nurse. Jean, cut her to bits!"

 

"Not so fast. I may be the school nurse, but I'm no pushover. I activate my trap card, Negate Attack." A swirl of energy appeared in front of the knight. Although he struggled against it, there was no way through, and he was forced to jump back into position.

 

"Fine. Since I can't attack, I guess I'll set a card face-down and end my turn. Oh, and since my turn's over, I have to pay a cost for my paladin. I send the top 2 cards of my deck to the Graveyard."

 

"Why are you doing that?" Ms. Fontaine asked. "That's a bit odd."

 

"All of my Lightlords do that, in some form or another. I'll have to beat you fast, or my deck will run out. Okay, you go."

 

TAYLOR DECK COUNT: 32

 

"Sure. My draw." Looking at her card, Fonda thought for a moment. "I'll change Reficule into Defense Mode, set 1 card, and end my turn." Reficule knelt down in a protective stance. "It's your go."

 

Taylor drew, and studied his hand. He was in a tough situation. His monsters couldn't be summoned without him being taxed for it, and their costs would drain his Deck away. "My Lightlord Magician Leila (1700/200/LV 4) will come out to play now." A woman dressed in a robe with the same design as the knight next to her floated out of the card.

 

"You do know what that means, right?" Taylor nodded, and braced himself for the red, stinging glow.

 

FONTAINE: 4000 LP

TAYLOR: 2250 LP

 

"I think I'm going to attack your Reficule with my Leila." Leila waved her scepter, and the demonic nurse dissolved into a flash of pixels. "And now, you don't have anything protecting you from Jean. Attack!" The knight leaped over to Fonda and swung his sword in an arc, creating a beam of light that whipped into her.

 

FONTAINE: 2200 LP

TAYLOR: 2250 LP

 

"Oof, that hurts," she winced as the knight jumped back.

 

"Okay. My attacks are out of the way, but I'm not over yet. I'll activate my Light Resilience. Remember my Lightlords' costs? Now you have to pay them too. Whenever I send cards from my Deck to the graveyard, you remove from play the top card of your Deck. I end, and discard 5 cards; 2 from Jean, and 3 from Leila."

 

TAYLOR DECK COUNT: 27

 

"Don't worry, though. You now need to remove from play the top 2 cards of your deck; one for each of my monsters."

 

Fonda frowned as the top of her deck glew, then disappeared. She just lost two valuable cards. "I guess I'll draw. I summon Burning Algae (500/1500/LV 3) in Defense Mode." A creature that looked like a tree on fire appeared. It looked slightly scared, if a tree could be scared. "I also activate my face-down Bad Reaction to Simochi. Don't think you can escape my Reficule's effect, because this does the same thing. I'll end."

 

Taylor drew and smiled, a look that unnerved Fonda. "I start by activating Leila's effect. I can change her into Defense Position to destroy a Spell or Trap on your side of the field. So, I'll destroy your annoying Simochi, and end its effect." The magician rose her scepter, and multiple shards of glowing light rained down on the trap, destroying it. "Next, I offer Leila as a tribute to summon Lightlord Dragon Gragonis (2000/1300/LV 6). The magician glowed, and was replaced by a giant dragon with a lion-like mane. It roared, filling the room with apprehension. "Oh, and don't think I forgot about your Dark Cure." A glow enveloped Taylor, but it was a healing blue, not the red from before.

 

FONTAINE: 2200 LP

TAYLOR: 3250 LP

 

"I forgot to mention that whenever Jean attacks a monster, he gains 300 attack points during his strike. Now, Jean, attack her algae!" The knight released a beam of light from its sword that cut the creature in half. "Oh yes, I know what your algae does. I get another 1000 life points." The blue glow surrounded him again.

 

FONTAINE: 2200 LP

TAYLOR: 4250 LP

 

"And now, for my finale. My Gragonis' effect activates. He gains 300 attack for each Lightlord in my Graveyard." The dragon roared, as its attack peaked at 2300.

 

"No, it can't be..." Fonda murmured.

 

"Yep, it is. Go, Gragonis, and finish her!" The dragon let loose a beam of light that struck her in the chest.

 

FONTAINE: 0 LP

TAYLOR: 4250 LP

 

The Duel was over.

 

"Fantastic job, Taylor," Ms. Fontaine announced, as the holograms disappeared. "You pass. I am happy to welcome you into Ra Yellow. Everyone, give a hand for Taylor!"

 

A wave of applause swept over the auditorium. Taylor felt proud, but tired. He walked off of the field, but almost walked into Cody, who was standing right next to him.

 

"Great job, Tay! That was amazing!" he yelled, startling two other kids nearby.

 

"Thanks, but all I wanna do right now is nap." Taylor closed his eyes, leaned up against the wall, and was fast asleep within a moment.

 

I knew it, thought Cody. He's amazing.

 

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P.S.: I'm thinking of doing a cameo in a future chapter, but I don't know who to put in. If you want your character to be in here, just post. I'll announce the winner when I find someone good.

P.P.S.: There's an Easter egg hidden somewhere in here. Find it for a rep!

[Mutant Monster RAEG-HAPYP]

Nice

[deathblaze107]

Great Job dude, this is good, I think that the lightlord thingies or whatever r gonna PWN darkness to d face... i m luckies that i haz kept'd my light imprissoning mirror, becuase most pplz that i know only have dark onez... that suckzies for dems

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Hmm... these "Lightlords" are powerful... however, the lords of light are still no match for the lords of dread. :twisted:

 

Good fic. I expect great things of it.

[bury the year]

Hope you like Chapter 2! You don't know how much time I put into it! Enjoy!

 

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"Cody, you dolt! When you’re eating a pie, you don't just stick your finger into the center! You actually cut a piece out." Taylor looked exasperated, and he had a good reason to be. It was only yesterday that he and Cody had passed their entry tests into Duel Academy, and they were both relieved to be in the same dorm; Ra Yellow. They even were assigned to the same room, which was fortunate. Now, they were relaxing in the Ra dining hall, munching away at a feast fit for a king.

 

"Well, I'm hungry, and when I'm hungry, I eat. Got it?" Cody was still his joking self. He looked different with the Ra Yellow jacket, but he was wearing his favourite hat. "Nah, just joking. Sorry though. I'm starved."

 

"Can't blame you." Taylor looked up from the stuffed plate in front of him. As pale as ever, he had a perpetually tired look on his face. His whitish hair hung over his forehead, and the yellow jacket he wore gave him an even paler look. "God, I'm hungry. Hey, wait. What’s that?"

 

Everyone stopped their feeding frenzy to look up at the main doors of the hall. The doors slowly opened to reveal a Mexican-looking man wearing a coat in the same yellow color as Taylor's and Cody's. He seemed to have an aura of authority around him, as everyone in the room quieted down almost immediately.

 

"Hello everybody, old and new. My name is Professor Sartyr, and I am the Ra Yellow dorm headmaster, as well as the fine arts teacher. I hope to have an excellent year with everyone, and I hope nobody gets into trouble."

 

"Hah!" Cody laughed, before ducking into his pie instinctively. Not fast enough, thought, because Sartyr zeroed in on Cody as soon as it slipped out of his lips.

 

"Excuse me, but what is your name?" the professor asked, loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear.

 

"Cody Diablo," Cody mumbled under his breath. He seemed nervous, but Taylor didn’t know why.

 

"Well, Cody," Sartyr said in an even, quiet tone, "you are going to serve a perfect example for my disciplinary methods. Tonight, I will duel against you in the yellow duelling room. If you lose, you will be on cooking duty for the rest of the month. Good luck. You’ll need it."

 

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CHAPTER 2: For the Love! Of Food!

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"Oh no, Taylor, I can’t lose," Cody moaned as he and Taylor were walking to class. "I stink at cooking. I'm hopeless! Did I ever tell you how my cat died?"

 

"No, and I'd rather not hear." Taylor already put together the pieces, and had a good idea of what happened to the ill-fated feline. "So, what do we have next?"

 

"Introduction to Archetypes, but I'm worried, man. I can't lose. It'll crush my rep."

 

"You've said that already. C'mon. Class is almost starting." As Taylor and Cody took their places in the seats circling the room, a small demonstration duel was taking place below. One student had a large baboon equipped with a glowing orb on his side of the field, while the other had a large angler fish on her side.

 

BOY: 2500 LP

GIRL: 600 LP

 

"Okay, it’s my go." The girl duelist drew, and stared at the card in her hand. "I start by playing A Legendary Ocean." An ocean swamped the field, complete with fish and ruins and almost drowning the holographic baboon. "Now, I'll activate my Unshaven Angler's effect (1500/1600/LV 4). When I Tribute Summon a WATER monster, I can use it as 2 Tributes. So, say bye-bye to my angler, and hello to my Levia-Dragon – Daedalus (2600/1500/LV 7)!" The fish erupted in a cloud of blue light, and was replaced by a gigantic sea serpent that covered the field. "And because of my Legendary Ocean, he gains 200 ATK and DEF."

 

"So what?" the boy duelist smirked. "My Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest has Invigoration equipped to it. Since he's an EARTH monster, he gains 400 ATK, which still beats out your dragon's. What are you going to do now?"

 

"This. I activate Levia-Dragon’s effect. By sending an Umi I control to the Graveyard, I can destroy all cards on the field except itself. Oh, yeah. A Legendary Ocean is treated as Umi by name."

 

"Wha!?! No!" the boy screamed but it was too late. The water swept away the baboon and the orb it held, leaving him vulnerable to the final attack.

 

"Now, my dragon, finish him!" The dragon roared, and a giant wave crashed down, crushing his Life Points.

 

BOY: 0 LP

GIRL: 600 LP

 

"So, everyone, give a round of applause to James and Miya for their excellent demonstration of archetypes in a duel!" A less-than enthusiastic clapping responded, and the two duelists bowed, and took their place in their seats.

 

"Her name's Miya, eh?" Cody looked interested at the female duelist.

 

"She's pretty hot, I can give you that", Taylor thought out loud. She was African, with black hair done in tight cornrows. There was a sense of pride around her, a sort of "You can't beat me" look. It made sense, because she was an Obelisk Blue. If I talked to her, she wouldn’t give me a second glance, Taylor thought dejectedly.

 

"Hi. Mind if I sit here?" Taylor looked up, and saw Miya standing next to him.

 

"Oh, no. Not at all." Taylor moved over, and motioned for her to sit next to him. "You did pretty well during that duel."

 

"It was nothing," she laughed. "James is honestly a pushover. I didn’t even bring my best card out."

 

"You didn’t? What would that be?"

 

"You'll see," she said. "I might show you later."

 

"Okay. Hey, wha-?" Taylor found himself sprawled out on the floor. Looking up, he saw Cody, who had taken his place on the seat. “Cody..."

 

"Hey. I was wondering if you'd want to see me duel tonight?" Cody was obviously trying to use the best pickup line he could think of.

 

"Sure. Humor me," she replied with a laugh.

 

"Okay. Meet me at the Ra Yellow duelling field tonight. I’ll be waiting."

 

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"Ready, Mr. Diablo?" Sartyr was standing across the field from Cody, with a crowd surrounding them, including Taylor and Miya.

 

"As ready as I'll ever be." Behind Cody’s brave façade, however, was a bundle of nerves. I can't lose this, he thought. My reputation and everyone’s stomachs are on the line. "Let's do this!"

 

SARTYR: 4000 LP

CODY: 4000 LP

 

"Since I am your headmaster," Sartyr said, "I think I'll go first. I start by activating Curry Pot. It’s my specialty." A giant soup pot, complete with bubbles, rose up behind him. "Now, any cards that would be sent to the Graveyard are removed from play instead. Next, I summon Carrot Man, in Defense Mode (800/900/LV 3)." A carrot with arms and legs popped up on the field. "I’ll set one card, and end my turn."

 

"Thanks. I'm a growing boy, and I need my food. I draw, and summon Gladiator Beast Bestiari, in Attack Mode (1500/800/LV 4)." A bird covered in armor appeared on the field. "Now, my gladiator, attack that carrot! God, that sounds weird." The bird swooped over the veggie before beating its wings rapidly. The plant tried to resist, but couldn’t, and was beat into pieces.

 

"That's fine with me. My Carrot Man goes into the pot now," Sartyr remarked. The carrot reappeared over the pot, and was chopped up, as if with an invisible knife. The pieces landed in the pot, and the stew within began to burble.

 

"Okay. My bird's gonna use his effect now. Whenever he attacks, at the end of the Battle Phase, I can return him to my deck to Special Summon another gladiator. So, I choose Gladiator Beast Dimacari (1600/1200/LV 4)!" The bird glew in a flash of light, and was replaced by a bull in the same design of armor. "And now, since he was summoned by another gladiator, he can attack twice per turn. I'll set two cards, and end my turn."

 

Sartyr's smile fell. He wasn't in a good situation, but he was known to turn things around. "I draw. Now, I summon Onion Man, in Attack Mode (1200/1200/LV 3)." An onion appeared on the field, with arms and legs like the carrot. "To spice things up, I activate Red-Pepper Spice. With this, I can boost the ATK of a monster I control by 300, and decrease one of yours by the same amount. You don't mind spicy foods, do you?"

 

"I prefer my food plain," Cody responded in an off-hand manner. "Which is why I activate my trap, Disarm! By returning Gladiator Beast Torax from my hand to my deck, I can negate your Spell and destroy it!" Dimacari lept forward at the pepper that was appearing and slashed at it with the claws on his hands. The card twinkled, then shattered.

 

"Hmph. I guess I'll end." Sartyr looked upset at the loss of his surprise play.

 

"'My go. And, with no further adieu, I'll attack your onion. Go, Dimacari!" The bull ran over to the onion and slashed it to pieces, hitting Sartyr in the process.

 

SARTYR: 3600 LP

CODY: 4000 LP

 

"All this food's making me hungry," Cody commented, watching the onion fall into the pot. "I think I'll get this over with quickly. Dimacari, attack again!" The bull repeated its attack on the professor, without any annoying vegetables blocking its way this time.

 

SARTYR: 2000 LP

CODY: 4000 LP

 

"Oof, that wasn't fun," Sartyr groaned.

 

"I think I should end now," Cody said. "It's your go."

 

"I draw," Sartyr announced, as thought his voice would give him strength. "I activate my Spell Spice Caraway! Now, you take 200 points of damage, and I gain 200 points." A brown sandstorm swirled around Cody, stinging him. The storm then moved over to Sartyr, and deposited the stolen life with a savory smell.

 

SARTYR: 2200 LP

CODY: 3800 LP

 

"I will also summon Potato Man, in Defense Position (900/800/LV 3)." A small potato appeared on the field in a kneeling position. "I set a card, and conclude my turn."

 

"Hmm..." Cody drew, and thought. "I summon Gladiator Beast Laquari, in Atttack Position!" A tiger with a ring of fire around him appeared on the field. It growled menacingly. "I attack with Dimacari. Go! Fry his spud!" The bull jumped forwards, and cut the potato into pieces. "Now, Laquari, attack Sartyr directly!"

 

"I don't think that's a good idea. I activate Physical Double. It summons a copy of your gladiator onto my side of the field." A puddle of slime plopped out of the card. It quivered, then grew into a silver-tone version of the attacking tiger. "Are you sure you want to continue?" Sartyr said with a smirk.

 

"No, I guess not." Cody seemed unfazed by the turn of events. "I equip my Dimacari with Gladiator Beast's Battle Archfiend's Shield." A shield with a skeletal motif floated down and landed in front of the bull. "I also set 1 card, and end."

 

"And since you did, my mirage vanishes." The fake beast melted away into the slime it was before. "I go now," Sartyr said, while drawing. "And look, the curry's almost done. I activate the effect of Curry Pot. Since an Onion Man, Carrot Man, and Potato Man were removed from play by its effect, I can Special Summon my trump card, Curry Fiend Roux (0/0/LV 8)!" A gigantic chef jumped out of the pot. It landed with a ground-shaking pound. "My chef has a special recipe that he's going to serve up. He gains 200 ATK for each card that's removed from play, and 300 for each of them that's a spice card. Let me see... 7 cards are removed, and 2 of them are spices. So, my Roux's ATK becomes... Hmmm... Ah, yes. 2000." The chef glew with an intimidating red light. "Now, my chef, attack that annoying Dimacari. Montezuma's Revenge!" A great blob of stew rose out of the pot. It landed in a spoon Roux held, before being whipped at the bull. It hit at full force, throwing up a steam cloud. A rain of pixels could be seen showering out.

 

SARTYR: 2200 LP

CODY: 3400 LP

 

"That was good," Sartyr commented. "Wait, what happened?"

 

As the steam cleared, it revealed that the bull was safe and sound, but without its shield. This was followed by a laugh from Cody.

 

"Did you think I'd let you destroy my gladiators so easily? They do know how to defend themselves. Because of my shield's ability, I can destroy it to prevent the monster it's equipped with from taking the blow."

 

"That was very strategic on your part, but you still suffer from your maneuver. Since another card was removed from play, my Roux gains another 200 ATK, for a total of 2200," Sartyr panted.

 

"Oh, I'm not finished yet," Cody commented. "Because you attacked Dimacari, I can return him to my deck to Special Summon Gladiator Beast Murmillo in Attack Mode (800/400/LV 3)!" The bull glowed, and was replaced by a fish, with two barrel-like structures on its back. "And now, since Murmillo was summoned by another gladiator, he can destroy a face-up monster on the field. I'm targeting you, Roux!" The fish fired two shots from the barrels on its back and hit the chef, destroying the hologram.

 

"Oh... I have nothing left to counter you with," Sartyr responded quietly, "so I end. Just make it quick."

 

"I will," Cody said as he drew. "Laquari, Murmillo, finish him off!"

 

The two beasts leaped in, surrounded Sartyr, and pummelled him with all their might.

 

SARTYR: 0 LP

CODY: 3400 LP

 

"Good job, Cody," the professor said as he stood up. "I'm actually glad that I didn't win."

 

"Why?" Cody asked, as Taylor and Miya ran down to congratulate him.

 

"Because," he responded, "you seem like a horrible chef."

 

Everyone began to laugh as the stadium was cleared out. It was a good night.

[Sander]

Man, good job dude, I really enjoyed reading your Fan Fic

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

MUAHAHAHAHA!! FEAR the bad-chefness!!

 

Excellent again. I can't wait for the next chapter.

[Guest Ixigo]

I just read through the first chapters, and they were really good, especially for a first try. The flow of your writing is top-notch, your grammar perfect, and the way you kick things off brilliant. My only problem would be that we have no hint of what course the plot will follow - the introduction it's pretty much like GX Season 1's, which sucked in my opinion (If you didn't understand what I just said, think of YuGiOh! Season 1, when the Millenium Puzzle and its powers were already introduced in the first episode, YuGiOh! Season 2, where Ishizu spoke of the Egyptian Gods, YuGiOh! GX Season 3, where we had all these visions etc etc. In my view, you should have thrown in something to prepare us for the major events that are to follow). But that doesn't ruin the general image. To move on, the way you portray your characters is pleasantly realistic, without making them horribly godly for no reason whatsoever, and their personalities themselves seem intriguing enough to promise for a rich plotline with many interesting subplots.

 

It's still too early to judge accurately, since we haven't even seen much of anything in the story yet, but I will give you ratings, for the sake of making a complete review.

 

-Plot: 8.5/10 (My only objection is the thing I mentioned - other than that, everything seems to be building up smoothly)

-Characters: 9/10 (So far, so good. No objections there, except maybe that we only see three of them in the first two chapters)

-Grammar / Structure / Syntax: 9.5/10 (Virtually flawless. Except for the very rare spot where things could have been worded slightly better, perfect)

-Dueling: 7.5/10 (The weak spot so far. The duels seem rather... vaguely explored, too little happens too fast... no real turn-arounds etc. Don't get me wrong - what you have is actually great, it's just that... there could be much more)

-Description: 8.5/10 (Pleasantly and unexpectedly rich in description, especially when compared to the average. Perhaps a bit more description during the duels, but that's all)

 

~Overall: 8.6 (One of the highest ratings I've handed out here, and it's only for chapters 1 & 2. You're doing great - keep up the excellent work)

 

Well, you have one sure reader to go. It's early, so don't take the things I mentioned to heart yet - it's most likely that the story will improve on its own without you paying special heed to individual flaws; that's how most stories go. Later on though, you will need to work on the things we point out to you.

 

But for now, rejoice - you're already an excellent writer in my book.

[bury the year]

Thanks, everyone! I'm glad you like it. Don't worry, Ixigo, the plot will go somewhere, and very soon. I'm just testing the waters to make sure people like it.

[bury the year]

Bump.

[harhar]

your fanfic is freakin awesome i cant wait for the next chapter

Great job

[bury the year]

Hola everyone! Thanks for all the positive reviews! So, I got around to thinking on how the storyline was going to go, so I've included a "snapshot" of the plot below. It's in spoilers, so if you don't want it to be ruined, you don't have to. Here it is:

 

 

Taylor was tired. He was curled up in his bunk in the Ra Yellow dorm, trying to get to sleep, but thinking hard. Cody was snoring below, though, and it was very distracting to his train of thought. Some important things were bouncing around in his head.

 

I wish I could simply tell him, Taylor thought. It would be much easier than having to keep silent. He was staring at a small tattoo on his upper arm, which depicted a set of scales. This tattoo wasn’t simply for ornamentation, though. It marked him as one of an elite group, a group, however, that he didn’t want to be with in the first place.

 

"This little mark," he thought out loud, "has made the last few years of my life so very... hellish. I've gone through things that kids my age should never know existed."

 

The little mark, the scales, wasn't unique to him alone. The mark had found its way to him through one hundred generations, through threads of lineage that connected him to Greece and Egypt, to ancient lands that have long-been eroded by the sands of time. It was a bearing that signified him as important, filled with unbridled potential, and could very much make or break his world.

 

He didn't know it at the time, but another person on campus shared his sentiment.

 

 

Whaddya think? Should there be more filler before I develop it, or should I cut to the chase?

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Cut to the chase. We're very hungry for plot.

[bury the year]

Good. :) Don't wanna hafta write more filler stuff; I'm drained of possibilities. (Ain't my grammar amazing?)

[bury the year]

bump

[kid]

its a awsome fan fic :)

[bury the year]

Update!

 

OK, Chapter 3's plot is all fleshed out. Only problem is, I need a character. So...

I'm asking for submissions!

 

This is how it'll work. Submit the following info about your character:

Name

Key card

Personality

Age

Zodiac sign (Don't pick one that's already been assigned!)

 

Here's the list! (If you're user name is on here, your character has been accepted!)

Aries:

Taurus:

Gemini: Tectonix55

Cancer:

Leo:

Virgo:

Libra: Tectonix55

Scorpio:

Sagittarius:

Capricorn:

Aquarius:

Pisces: Tectonix55

Ophiuchus: Tectonix55

 

So, get creative-ing!

[bury the year]

bump

[Sander]

Name: Akimoto Kunno

Key card: ''Omega Shenron, Super Yi Xing Long''

Personality: Mostly friendly but can get mad when provoked, likes to listen to Hard Rock a lot, likes Darkness but isn't evil.

Age: 18

Zodiac sign: Taurus

[spoiler=Evil Shenron Deck][3] Omega Shenron, Super Yi Xing Long

 

[3] Syn Shenron, Yi Xing Long

[3] Naturon Shenron, Qi Xing Long

[3] Nuova Shenron, Si Xing Long

[3] Rage Shenron, Wu Xing Long

[2] Dark Crusader

[2] Armageddon Knight

[1] Snipe Hunter

[1] Card Trooper

[1] Breaker the Magical Warrior

[1] Morphing Jar

 

[3] Evil Wishes

[3] Dark World Lightning

[2] Foolish Burial

[2] Hand Destruction

[2] Dark World Dealings

[1] Evil Thoughts

[1] Monster Reborn

[1] Mystical Space Typhoon

 

[3] Sakuretsu Armor

[2] Dark Bribe

[1] Mirror Force

[1] Torrential Tribute

Evil Shenron Info (Don't post in that thread!!!)

 

 

[Supreme Gamesmaster]

Name: Dared Stamer

Key card: "Dread Lords Massing," "Lord Dread," and "Normilntr'Rava - Final Arrow"

Personality: Very self-sufficient, to the point of social extraction. Not so much shy as claustrophobic and distrustful. Wouldn't go to a party if his life depended on it. Also an avid archer. Considers himself a phantologist (phantology=the study of magic, and magical spirits called "phantasms" in particular), and is incredibly interested in the mark of the scales. In his phantological studies, he has ammassed a sizable collection of occultic antiques, including his elemental gauntlets and demonic pendant.

Age: 18

Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

 

Name: Arianna Sepca

Key card: Marks of Antiquity

Personality: She pretty much embodies her Zodiac sign. She's incredibly shy and insecure. An antique collector, she is in possession of a heavenly bow. She is searching for an old customer of hers who bought a demonic pendant from her (after accidentally enthralling her), and the search leads her to Duel Academy.

Age: 16

Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

[bury the year]

OK, anyone who has sent in applications, please PM me with a list of made-up cards that your character uses, and what they do. I'm going to use my characters for Chapter 3, but believe me, one of yours will pop up in Chapter 4... I just need to look through the applications.

 

P.S.: If you're going to send in an application, please read the fan-fic itself, and review it! I don't know about you, but I get irritated when people don't give feedback! Thanks.

[baritone_rob05]

Name: Robert Griffin

Key card Archlord Zerato

Personality He is a good duelist, but he is afraid of what others think of him. He usually stays in the back. However, when he duels, he become a completely different, more confident, person.

Age 16

Zodiac sign (Aquarious)

 

[Nexev]

name: Corne Eadth (both jumbles of necro and death)

key card: Eternity symbol- Envoy of Creation (plays a chaos deck, abillity's are Chaos Emperor Dragon - Envoy of the End+Black Luster Soldier - Envoy of the Beginning

this card can only be summoned with the above fusion monsters and they had to have been on the field at time of fusion, once per turn you may negate and remove target spell or trap card (this ability acts like a counter trap), also by sacrificing 2000 life destroy all of your opponents cards, he takes 300 for each card destroyed this way. has 4500 atk and 3750 defense

personallity: has a split personality, you can choose the personallitys but they both know each other and actually get along, enough that a conversation with him feels like your talking to two people.

Zodiac: i wished it could have been libra (his split personallity and deck suits one) but his sign is Leo

[Umbra]

I'll judge this from what I've seen so far.

 

As my reviewer collueague Ixigo said, the plot is coming a little slow. You should drop a few hints to the plot in the first chapter, or do like I did in my last fan-fic and write an entire prologue to explain the plot. Your grammar's top notch, (finally someone else that values grammar) and the spelling is practically flawless also. Now, onto the cards.

 

We have seen four sets so far: Gladiator Beasts, Food, Simochi Burn, ALO, and the Lightlords, some of them from sets yet to be released. Yet, you work the cards nicely.

 

If there's something I'll actually complain at, there's the duels. Not the actual dueling, but the duels. They appear very frequently. We could see the end of a duel in Chapter two, and an entire more in the same chapter, along with the one in Chapter one, which makes it more than one duel / chapter.

 

Pros & Cons

+ Grammar

+ Characters

+ Cards

 

- Plot

- Duel frequency

 

Fan-Fic Advantage: +1 (Anything above 0 is good)

[bury the year]

I'm not sure I want to continue with this... Please lock, thanks.