//gender change surgery//

[.Requiem]

Why you asking on a Children forum? There might be better communities who had this happen and have a better insight. Talk to your family about this to and see what the have to say if you worried about them.

[CrabHelmet]

[quote name='Koloktos' timestamp='1327583682' post='5781874']
If any of your parents gets a gender change, what do you call them?
[/quote]

Etiquette is to always refer to people by the gender they identify as. So if, say, your biological mother is FTM, you would call them "father".

[Lonk]

Thanks Crab Helmet. Like I said, even if I knew Scarlet Knight IRL, I wouldn't think much of it. Surprised, yes but nothing will change. I'm glad your parents wouldn't treat you any differently for going through with it.

[Lunar Origins]

[quote name='.Requiem' timestamp='1327584619' post='5781881']
Why you asking on a Children forum? There might be better communities who had this happen and have a better insight. Talk to your family about this to and see what the have to say if you worried about them.
[/quote]

I come here because I like this community.

[Nɇvɇrmorɇ]

[quote name='.Requiem' timestamp='1327584619' post='5781881']
Why you asking on a Children forum? There might be better communities who had this happen and have a better insight. Talk to your family about this to and see what the have to say if you worried about them.
[/quote]

A "children's forum" with a lot of mature people. I don't know if this is surprising to you, but a lot of active users aren't ten years old.

[.P3]

Sex Changes are down to the person themselves, as said before wait until you are a little older before deciding anything, I know it might feel un-comfortable for you but during our age group a lot of things go on in our lives as many people obviously know, having a Sex Change is justified though; If you don't feel right then why continue on living a life you don't feel like you should/are, so Yes; If you feel it is right for you then do it.

As for the aspect of what your parents would feel, if they truly don't like or learn to understand then they are not cut out to be your parents, everyone's parents should be honest but accept what their child wants.

[Kirun Wolf]

[quote name='Crab Helmet' timestamp='1327571991' post='5781799']
I've never heard of anyone thinking they were transsexual during their teenage years and then realizing they were mistaken during/after college. Ever. (Both of my friends transitioned during high school and are now happy at 20 and 21.) On the other hand, I am told many transsexuals realize their body is wrong even before they hit puberty (as was the case for my MTF friend). If you know you're transsexual, then you're transsexual; it's not something that random teenage hormones can easily be mistaken for.

I am also told that it is physically easier to transition the younger you are (and the less developed your body is). Also, transitioning is a lengthy process (there's far more to it than going in for a single surgery), and it definitely would be easiest to have already finished transitioning by the time college starts. So it seems to me that sooner rather than later is the way to go.

I do tend to downplay the social aspects of coming out because I grew up in a fairly liberal area where nobody cares (my high school's only outspoken homophobe later came out as gay), have liberal parents who don't care (I'm bi, not trans, but if I was they still wouldn't mind), and go to a liberal college where people continue to not care. However, the underlying principle - if they don't accept you for who you are, they can't really be considered friends anyhow - remains. The only possible exception is regarding parents because you are (I assume) financially dependent on them (and it is no coincidence that LGBT youth have a far higher incidence of homelessness than straight youth). If they really would react overwhelmingly negatively, I can see an argument from practicality being made for not coming out yet. Still, at 15 I should think you would by this point have a fairly good idea of your parents' stance on such topics, so if they were so strongly opposed that that would cause a problem then there would be no question as to how they would react.
[/quote]

I concede that my knowledge of the science behind the whole thing is less than adequate. I also defer to your description of emotional/mental wherewithal and commitment to a gender change at 15.

[b]Like I said: If you feel you should be the opposite sex, then with the technology we have today there should be nothing stopping you. You have to feel happy with yourself.[/b]

[Simping For Hina]

If your worry about telling your parents: First, did you tell any of your closest friends. If you did so, you can get your friend to tell your parents once you are away. You wouldn't have to deal with telling them and they would still find out. Which then, when you get home. Your parents will ask you what is up with this obviously and speak your mind. If they think badly, they are not really treating you with respect. If they ask questions, it is because they want to understand more. Answer their questions with not holding back.
If you do, they will trust you more and you will most likely have their support, which then they would help you in any way possible. They might even pay for some of it. But you still have to have some money to pay.

[Lunar Origins]

I actually took the initiative to tell my mother yesterday.

She said she thought it was a little odd. She understood, though, or so she said. She forbade me with going through with it whilst I am in my current high school, and while I live in this area of Virginia as well. She never told me the reasons, but I can easily guess them based on that.[list=1]
[*]She doesn't want me to be judged.
[*]She wants me to focus on school work.
[*]She wants me to think about the decision longer.
[*]She herself doesn't want the community to know a whole bunch about it lest she herself get thought of badly, as her social image is very important to her. This I easily understand.
[/list]
She told me she would take me to counseling (on my request) and that I have her full financial support, so long as this will make me a much happier person. I am very glad that I went to her first and was straight-up about my feelings... I love my mother!

Thanks to everyone in this thread!

[Zeal Ascendant]

[quote name='Her Scarlet Knight' timestamp='1327940709' post='5789562']
I actually took the initiative to tell my mother yesterday.

She said she thought it was a little odd. She understood, though, or so she said. She forbade me with going through with it whilst I am in my current high school, and while I live in this area of Virginia as well. She never told me the reasons, but I can easily guess them based on that.[list=1]
[*]She doesn't want me to be judged.
[*]She wants me to focus on school work.
[*]She wants me to think about the decision longer.
[*]She herself doesn't want the community to know a whole bunch about it lest she herself get thought of badly, as her social image is very important to her. This I easily understand.
[/list]
She told me she would take me to counseling (on my request) and that I have her full financial support, so long as this will make me a much happier person. I am very glad that I went to her first and was straight-up about my feelings... I love my mother!

Thanks to everyone in this thread!
[/quote]

Good! I agree it is good to wait a bit longer and think about it more, and I'm glad she supported you!

[Agro]

[quote name='- Zeal -' timestamp='1327954554' post='5789832']


Good! I agree it is good to wait a bit longer and think about it more, and I'm glad she supported you!
[/quote]If she waits too long there could be complications, you know that right? It's not the best advice, and I think Lun should do it earlier, but she has to respect her mother's wishes and listen to them, you know, cause money.

And Lun, you didn't tell anyone that you told an ex and she was fine with it? inb4lundidn'twantmesayingthatandignoresmeforlife

[CinnamonStar]

Sorry for bumping this, but I only read it now.;_;

Well I'm really happy that your mother is so supportive.
As for the high school thing, I'm not hugely informed about gender change surgeries, but it might be because many surgeons don't do genital surgery before you're an adult. Hormonal treatment is better done before puberty, but I'm not sure which doctor is going to do anything else before your body is fully developped.=S

But I'm really not an expert and it's a good idea to look for a counselor. S/he surely going give you advice on it.^^

Maybe it's also because people already know you at your school and your mum thinks it's going to be easier if you start "anew" at college or work and get the surgery done there. Or she wants you to focus on school because gender change is usually a long process.

But either way, it's cool that she supports you. Of course it's going to sound "weird" to her if you're the first person in the family to bring this up, but most parents just want their children to be happy.

[Bull3tM0nk3y]

[quote name='Her Scarlet Knight' timestamp='1327493853' post='5780003']
So, here we are.

I want to get a gender change surgery, because... I'm not entirely comfortable with myself. I'm really not. I won't go into detail. [b]You can if you want to.[/b]

Though I have a few problems, a few obstacles.

[b]Will I be happy after this is over?[/b]
The answer is probably a yes... But what if things go wrong? [b]They will not.[/b]

[b]What will my friends and family think?[/b]
This is something I've always had on my mind. How will telling them this affect them? Will they be hurt, or will they get mad? Also something that bothers me. [b]Your family will always love you for who you are.[/b]

[b]Alienation?[/b]
How will my life be afterwards, when people find out about my past? [b]It will be a shocker, but nothing they can't handle.[/b]

[b]Love?[/b]
Will there ever be someone that will love me anyways? [b]Yes. There is 7.1.9 billion people.[/b]

All of these questions have plagued my mind for a very long time. This is something I've thought about for years, but have only recently begun to want to do it. I mean... Is this selfish? It took a lot of courage to write this thread. I hope I will not be judged based on this. [b]No. It is for you, and maybe the world.[/b]

Many thanks to Aggro, for various reasons.

Discuss gender changing and its implications.
[/quote]

[Marisa Kirisame-ze]

My transgendered friend is going through the same thoughts as you currently. I told her that honestly, it's really more important to feel comfortable in your own skin [i]like you belong there[/i] and if the surgery lets you do that, then go for it!

[The Amazing Avian]

If you have the money for it, go for it. I don't see what would be wrong with it. You'd still be you, but you'd have an extra appendage. To be honest, I've always wanted to know how sex changes work. I've always assumed the [spoiler=possibly offensive language]clitoris was enlarged and the labia somehow fashioned into a makeshift scrotum.[/spoiler]

[Merci]

Ya'know, sometimes I consider having a sex change myself. [/awkward] But then again, I suppose being male is enough for me.

I'm actually kind of happy you're making choices like this. Trust me, you're making the right choice. Of course, you'd probably have to wait until after high school to do it . . .

[Agro]

[quote name='Random Dude' timestamp='1328588739' post='5801972']
If you have the money for it, go for it. I don't see what would be wrong with it. You'd still be you, but you'd have an extra appendage. To be honest, I've always wanted to know how sex changes work. I've always assumed the [spoiler=possibly offensive language]clitoris was enlarged and the labia somehow fashioned into a makeshift scrotum.[/spoiler]
[/quote]Um... dude. She's mtf, not ftm. You understand that, right?
[quote name='Merciful Idiot' timestamp='1328611243' post='5802279']
Ya'know, sometimes I consider having a sex change myself. [/awkward] But then again, I suppose being male is enough for me.

I'm actually kind of happy you're making choices like this. Trust me, you're making the right choice. Of course, you'd probably have to wait until after high school to do it . . .
[/quote]I've said it once, I'll say it an infinite more times until it gets through to people: waiting is not good in this situation.

[Althemia]

[quote name='Wraith' timestamp='1328622174' post='5802407']
I've said it once, I'll say it an infinite more times until it gets through to people: waiting is not good in this situation.
[/quote]

Reasoning for this?

[Agro]

[quote name='Professor Kokonoe' timestamp='1328635718' post='5802562']
Reasoning for this?
[/quote]Well the idea is that you want to have it all said in done earlier during growth, no?

[Althemia]

[quote name='Wraith' timestamp='1328635758' post='5802564']
Well the idea is that you want to have it all said in done earlier during growth, no?
[/quote]

Yet doing it so early would cause complications with education and other such things that are currently going on. It's best to wait.

[John A. Zoidberg]

So you should make a decision on who [i]you [/i]are because you're afraid of judgement? I think not.

[Agro]

[quote name='Professor Kokonoe' timestamp='1328636080' post='5802571']
Yet doing it so early would cause complications without education and other such things that are currently going on. It's best to wait.
[/quote]True, emotionally and socially waiting is a good plan, I was thinking if it would be better more on the lines of physically. But I guess if it's done before maturity, say, 21 then it wouldn't be too complicated.

[CrabHelmet]

[quote name='Professor Kokonoe' timestamp='1328636080' post='5802571']
Yet doing it so early would cause complications with education and other such things that are currently going on. It's best to wait.
[/quote]
Assuming you're planning on going to college, when education becomes even more important, that would imply waiting for another seven years. And if grad school after that is intended, then, well... enjoy waiting another twelve to fifteen years (depending on field) in total.

Unless you lead an incredibly boring life, [i]something[/i] will always be going on. Interrupting whatever the current something happens to be is no reason.

[The Amazing Avian]

[quote name='Wraith' timestamp='1328622174' post='5802407']
Um... dude. She's mtf, not ftm. You understand that, right?
[/quote]
So Scarlet is a guy?

[CrabHelmet]

[quote name='Random Dude' timestamp='1328670372' post='5803669']
So Scarlet is a guy?
[/quote]

No, she's a girl, and I would advise you to get out of this thread since you clearly don't have the slightest clue how transsexuality works.