Ren✧ Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 [center][IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/2ds0phd.png[/IMG][/center] [center]3 Level 4 "Crystal Beast" monsters[/center] [center]Xyz Material Monsters used to Summon this card can be in your Spell & Trap Card Zone. Once per turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material Monster from this card; Special Summon 1 "Crystal Beast" monster in your Spell & Trap Card Zone. If you detach a "Crystal Beast" monster from this card: You can place it face-up in your Spell & Trap Card Zone as a Continuous Spell Card, instead of being sent to the Graveyard. If this face-up card is destroyed: You can return 1 Monster Card in your Graveyard to the bottom of your Deck(do not shuffle): Place all Xyz Material Monsters that were attached to this card face-up in your Spell & Trap Card Zone as Continuous Spell Cards.[/center] [center]---[/center] [center]Well, I was trying to give Crystal Beasts a leg-up in the metagame. The support for the archtype is obvious, I won't insult your intelligence by explaining it. Any and all CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is appreciated as well as OCG help.[/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synchronized Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 I was going to try and take a crack at the OCG, but I'm stumped on this one. It looks solid. Being able to use the Spell Card version of the CB's makes it a bit better, because 3 Level 4 monsters is quite the requirement as it is. (Though, to be fair, if any Deck can effectively bring out a Rank 4 that needs 3 materials, CB's would be that Deck.) You've got a few different effects built in here, which is good, so it gives the Deck a couple of good plays, like re-using Carbuncles and stuff. What I'm not sure I like is the fact that "If you detach an Xyz Material, place it face-up in your Spell & Trap Card Zone" is mandatory, because it could very easily backfire on you. Perhaps make it an optional effect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 Aesthetics (including Wording/Grammar, Card Name, Picture etc.) = 8/10 Creativity = 16/20 Balance = 25/30 Viability = 30/40 79% = [color=#008000]B+[/color] Your grammar is excellent, except for the first sentence, which I think would be "You can detach Xyz Material from this card and place them in your Spell & Trap Card Zone." or if you meant for it to be both "Xyz Material attached to this card are also treated as being in your Spell & Trap Card Zone.". Those concerns aside, your card is aesthetically perfect, although a single mark is dropped from the lack of a KaTa copyright notice. I'm being pedantic, I know, but this is realistic. The fact alone that it is Crystal Beast support is quite creative in itself, plus the "Material treated as also in S/T Zone" idea. It's not ground-breakingly innovative stuff, but it's pretty cool, I must say. I think you've called the balance excellently. It sets the card up as something for the deck to work around, rather than a tacked-on piece of support. I do think it needs more kick, though. It's too weak to give CBs the punch that additional support should give them. I would suggest bumping up the attack to 3000 and adding a clause that allows you to summon it using CBs in the S/T Zone. If the latter one is too much, then give it a simple destruction effect. CBs can swarm well themselves, but they aren't great at challenging other decks. That's also the reason why the viability mark isn't as high as it could be - it doesn't give CBs enough dynamism. Great work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren✧ Posted July 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 [quote name='Neo Galaxy' timestamp='1342376767' post='5979134'] I was going to try and take a crack at the OCG, but I'm stumped on this one. It looks solid. Being able to use the Spell Card version of the CB's makes it a bit better, because 3 Level 4 monsters is quite the requirement as it is. (Though, to be fair, if any Deck can effectively bring out a Rank 4 that needs 3 materials, CB's would be that Deck.) You've got a few different effects built in here, which is good, so it gives the Deck a couple of good plays, like re-using Carbuncles and stuff. What I'm not sure I like is the fact that "If you detach an Xyz Material, place it face-up in your Spell & Trap Card Zone" is mandatory, because it could very easily backfire on you. Perhaps make it an optional effect. [/quote] I can see your point, will make it optional. Thanks! [quote name='Botvinnik' timestamp='1342380570' post='5979187'] Aesthetics (including Wording/Grammar, Card Name, Picture etc.) = 8/10 Creativity = 16/20 Balance = 25/30 Viability = 30/40 79% = [color=#008000]B+[/color] Your grammar is excellent, except for the first sentence, which I think would be "You can detach Xyz Material from this card and place them in your Spell & Trap Card Zone." or if you meant for it to be both "Xyz Material attached to this card are also treated as being in your Spell & Trap Card Zone.". Those concerns aside, your card is aesthetically perfect, although a single mark is dropped from the lack of a KaTa copyright notice. I'm being pedantic, I know, but this is realistic. The fact alone that it is Crystal Beast support is quite creative in itself, plus the "Material treated as also in S/T Zone" idea. It's not ground-breakingly innovative stuff, but it's pretty cool, I must say. I think you've called the balance excellently. It sets the card up as something for the deck to work around, rather than a tacked-on piece of support. I do think it needs more kick, though. It's too weak to give CBs the punch that additional support should give them. I would suggest bumping up the attack to 3000 and adding a clause that allows you to summon it using CBs in the S/T Zone. If the latter one is too much, then give it a simple destruction effect. CBs can swarm well themselves, but they aren't great at challenging other decks. That's also the reason why the viability mark isn't as high as it could be - it doesn't give CBs enough dynamism. Great work. [/quote] I was afraid of giving it too much attack, but if you think 3000 is good then 3000 it will be. As for the using CB's in your S/T Card Zone, I already incorporated that, you must have missed it. And I am not familiar with the term KaTa? lol. [quote] [center][background=rgb(251, 253, 254)]Xyz Material Monsters used to Summon this card can be in your Spell & Trap Card Zone. [/quote][/background][/center] Thanks for the feedback guys. Keep it coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 [quote name='~Renegade~' timestamp='1342381205' post='5979192'] I was afraid of giving it too much attack, but if you think 3000 is good then 3000 it will be. As for the using CB's in your S/T Card Zone, I already incorporated that, you must have missed it. And I am not familiar with the term KaTa? lol. [/quote] Kazuki Takahashi, you know, on cards in the bottom right corner they have a "(c) 1996 Kazuki Takahashi". And as for the CBs in your S/T zone thing, I posted a fix for it in my review that makes it clearer, because the one on the card at the moment confused me a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren✧ Posted July 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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