Naruto: The Key Guide

[Fusion X. Denver]

So I've decided to pick up writing again. I actually planned out most of the story this time, so things should flow more smoothly than in DEF. I plan on updating periodically once every two days, but there's no doubt in my mind something will come up at one point and invoke a mini-hiatus in which case I ask you to bear with me.

I know not everyone is into Naruto; if there are any readers who'd be interested in reading Key Guide, but don't know anything about Naruto, I wrote up a summary in the following spoiler to help clue you in. Anything not mentioned in there in the story will be hyperlinked to an informative article on the Naruto Wiki.
[spoiler=What you need to know about Naruto (as abridged as I could make it)]
[b]Setting:[/b]
The Land of Ninjas is separated into five nations, each with a giant village full of ninjas that carry out tasks ranging from delivery boys to military forces.
Land of Fire-Hidden Leaf Village
Land of Wind-Hidden Sand Village
Land of Earth-Hidden Stone Village
Land of Lightning-Hidden Cloud Village
Land of Water-Hidden Mist Village

There are also several other smaller villages that aren't as powerful as the main 5, but still rent themselves out for missions, such as the Hidden Waterfall Village, Hidden Grass Village, and so on.

[b]Ranks:[/b]
Ninja are divided into basic ranks:
Genin-Mostly kids, do simple chores and small-time missions like finding stray cats
Chunin-Make up the bulk of a village's ninja force, usually go on "action-type" missions
Jonin-The most skilled ninjas in the village; responsible for raising Genin pupils (typically 3 for a 4-man team) and carrying out the most dangerous missions (assassinations, spying, capture)
Anbu-Not really part of the main ranking system (only a few are chosen), Anbu are selected to do "dirty work" for the village behind the scenes and are reserved for THE most important missions such as protecting political leaders or interrogating captives. They always wear masks and act with secrecy
Kage-The Village Leader, typically the strongest ninja in the village. Responsible for delegating missions, setting up teams and overseeing all village responsibilities. There are 5 Kage total, one for each major village

Also noteworthy: Every ninja wears metal headbands with the insignia of their village. Rogue ninjas, ninjas that leave their village and commit crimes, usually have a slash through the insignia indicating their status. Some ninjas wear the headbands around their shoulders or waists.
In the main Naruto story, ninjas wear open-toed shoes called zori (basically heeled sandals), though they're not as prominent in Key Guide.
[b]Powers:[/b]
Ninjas use energy inside them called chakra to perform jutsu (it's like magic). They are typically formed by weaving hand signs in various combinations as well as manipulating mental and physical energies inside the body. Chakra is derived from five major elements: Fire, Water, Earth, Wind and Lightning. Everyone is born with one of these natures and oftentimes are able to develop a 2nd nature by Jonin-level. Some ninja can combine their natures, like Water and Earth, to make Wood, or Fire and Earth to make Lava, and so on, though these are in few (in the main Naruto story anyway, things are different in this story)

There's also a Yin and Yang Chakra nature that allows for jutsu outside of the elements such as controlling shadows, changing size, switching bodies and so on. These power types are usually only relegated to a clan, but in Key Guide, clans have dissolved and you can see anyone with any type of power in all sorts of places nowadays.

Additionally, there's Taijutsu, the art of ninja combat, and Genjutsu, the art of illusions.
Along with that, there are basic jutsus that almost all ninjas can perform: Clone Jutsu (transparent, but those with high chakra levels are able to make them solid, called Shadow Clones), Transformation Jutsu (transform into anything), Substitution Jutsu (switch your body with another object, opponent will think they've hit you, but the illusion reveals they hit a log or something).

Ninjas use various tools like kunai knives, shuriken, smoke bombs, explosive paper tags, and so on. Some ninjas can even make contracts with ninja animals (yes they exist, some can even talk) and summon them to their side at any time for aid.

There are medical ninja who use chakra for healing the injured and there are sensory ninjas who are able to sense chakra signatures and even identify their owners.

Finally, chakra can act as an "adhesive". Ninjas can exude chakra from their feet to walk on walls, ceilings, or even on water (like Jesus!). This can be done from any part of the body if used properly.[/spoiler]

Since organizing multiple chapters in one post has been a pain in the past, I'm going to post each chapter as a reply to the thread every time I update; I'll make a Table of Contents with hyperlinks to respective chapters in the near future. And for those of you who've read DEF, you can breathe easy, chapters are only a couple pages long and make for much shorter reading periods.

I hope you enjoy Naruto: The Key Guide! Comments and constructive criticism welcome.

[spoiler=Chapter 1: Departure]

The wind gently blew through the treetops outside the front gate, sending a spiral of green, dancing leaves into the air before letting them settle down below. One of the leaves rode the current towards the towering opening and found itself inside the bustling village below. The townspeople babbled and traveled to and fro, manipulating the frantic leaf erratically through the streets until the wind died, allowing it to settle on top of a metal headband bearing a symbol similar to its image. Its owner was lying on the dirt path outside of a small, humble building bearing the sign “Kaemon Kills”. People glanced at the sight as they passed by, exchanging curious whispers and fixated glances. This prompted a man inside to step out and fix this public problem.

He prodded the boy's head with a gnarled cane. “Satu, you’re making me look bad again! Wake up!”

The boy called Satu let out a yawn, unperturbed by the man’s walking stick. A faint, hazel glimmer dimmed between his eyelids, struggling for focus outside of the brown bangs clouding his vision. As he sat up, the headband resting on his forehead slipped off and fell to the ground, the leaf whisked away by the wind and carried off, unbeknownst to Satu. He stood up and dusted off his sleeveless, yellow gi while pulling its zipper down, allowing the wind to cool his bare chest. “Geez dad, how can you muster any energy today? It’s hot as hell out here.”

Riku Kaemon paid no attention to his son’s grumbling. It reminded him too much of his younger days, back when his brown hair was not as thin or when his right leg did not need maintenance every day. At least he had kept his broad figure, insistent on staying in shape despite his handicap. “You need energy when you’re moving you know,” he replied. “It’s not every day your life changes forever.”

Satu shrugged his remark off. “All that’s changing is your getting closer with your lover.”

“Not so!” Riku countered. “Remember, this is the last day Kaemon Kills will ever sell weapons! It won’t be opened again once I move to the Hidden Waterfall Village; I’ll be spending my days in blissful retirement!”

“There’s no difference when you don’t get customers for months…”

“Meh, it’s just my luck that the store would hit a dry spell right before retirement. Anyway, have you told the Hokage of our departure?”

Satu rolled his eyes. “Dad, you’ve met with him four times this week already. He knows we’re leaving.”

“Right but,” Riku stopped, looking around before leaning closer. “Does he know…about [i]your[/i] plans?”

Satu shut his eyes, gripping the bridge of his nose. “Dad, that would be defeating the whole purpose of using this opportunity.”

“I think he might know, the old geezer’s rather sharp…”

“If he does know, it’s your fault for being loose-lipped.”

Riku scoffed. “You know I was an Anbu before my time leading Team 10.”

“Yeah, well, you’re rusty.”

Riku tugged on Satu’s cheek, ignoring his grunts of protest as he began dragging his son down towards the gate. “If your business is done here, then we should get moving.”

“Could you let go of me first?” Satu blurted. “Where’s all your stuff anyways?”

Riku obliged his son and replied, “Lord Hokage was generous enough to lend us a team to carry my luggage for me. They already left for the Hidden Waterfall last night.”

Satu frowned, glancing back at the red domed building barely visible at the other edge of town. “How much time does it take to reach Hidden Waterfall on foot?”

Riku shrugged. “About a day or so?”

Satu nodded, dashing between his father's legs and hoisting him up on his shoulders. “I’ll fly us there, then.”

Riku yelped and bonked his son’s head. “Put me down! You’re making me look bad again!”

“You’re the one throwing a tantrum.”

“Don’t patronize me! How about showing some respect and-”

Satu immediately kicked off the ground and soared through the air, ignoring his father’s shrieks until he hovered above the village. He always loved the view of the Hidden Leaf Village from this high. Interestingly enough, old village lore told him that only one other was able to view the village from this perspective without the aid of the Hokage Monument. Glancing back at the mountain, he noted the various faces that coated the entire side facing the village. “They’ve just about run out of room, haven’t they? What are they gonna do when the old man croaks?”

Riku regained his composure before answering, “I don’t know, they’ll probably have all of the village’s Earth Style users create more mountain mass or something.”

Satu observed the landscape for another minute or so, soaking it all in. “See you…”

“Did you say something?”

Satu shook his head. “Nah.”

With that, he turned and the pair flew off towards the rising sun.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter 2: Surprise]

“Satu, look!”

Satu cranked his neck upward. After flying for most of the day, he was feeling drained at this point, doing all he could to remain airborne. The setting sun was wreaking havoc with his eyesight, causing him to dip down a few feet before regaining focus.

“Hey, watch it! Come on, Jonin are supposed to have higher chakra levels than this!”

“You try flying all day…oh that’s right, you don’t know how to-”

“Satu, quit mumbling and touch down already! We’ve reached the Hidden Waterfall Village!”

Satu sighed, beginning their descent down into the forest surrounding the land. The village was centered around a huge basin of water that contained a giant tree resting on an island in the water’s center. Trees clouded the skies above them and served as heavy protection from the elements outside the abode. It was no wonder that the village had never been successfully invaded. Even as Satu landed, several shinobi emerged from the trees and surrounded the duo, aiming kunai knives and shuriken at their heads.

“Who are you and what are you doing in our village?” asked one of the shinobi. They all wore black masks and blue skin-tight garb underneath matching flak jackets, greatly contrasting the bright, yellow gis of their visitors.

“Relax,” Riku answered. “My name is Riku Kaemon and this is my son, Satu. We’re friends of Minnie’s.”

One of the shinobi broke away from the group and walked towards them. “I’ve heard that shinobi from the Leaf would be coming to our land. Show us your headbands as proof of your heritage.”

Riku smiled. “No problem, I’m retired, but Satu’s still a full-fledged ninja. Show them your headband.”

Satu nodded and reached for his waist when he realized the headband was missing. He frantically felt around his gi and his pockets before returning the awkward gaze the Waterfall shinobi gave him. [i]Crap…I lost it.[/i]

Riku sighed, taking out the headband from inside his gi. “You’re lucky I picked this up before you took off. Be more mindful of your belongings, Satu.”

Satu sighed and showed the Waterfall shinobi the headband before wrapping it around its waist. “It’d be fine if they had it actually fit my head.”

“In any case,” the ninja from before replied. “You folks seem legit to me. Be warned, for if you try any funny business, you’ll be as dead as that mincemeat over there.”

Satu traced the man’s pointing finger and saw a cow hung upside down outside a shack. A pudgy man with a green apron stained its front and his arms with blood as he gutted the animal’s insides. “Ew…”

Riku pulled his son away from his trance and joined the fleet of shinobi escorting them to the home of their village leader. Onlookers peered at the group from inside their houses and their perches in the trees, engrossed in the unknown arrivals that had graced their village. Satu felt uneasy being stared at, but shook the feeling and turned his mind to getting food and sleep.
Riku embraced the leader with great enthusiasm and started a night full of drinking and chatting over sake with the elderly man. They spent the night there since Riku’s beloved was currently away on a visit to the Hidden Sand and would not be back until the next morning. Satu was grateful for the rest and took full advantage of the hospitality, waking up as the rest of the Hidden Waterfall prepared for lunch.

“Hey dad,” Satu called out, opening the door leading to the front porch. “What’s for-”

He stopped, stumbling upon his father locked in an embrace with an older woman, her blond hair obscuring their locked lips. They gasped and broke apart, their faces quickly reddening. “Way to kill the mojo, Satu.”

Satu grasped his head, quickly cleansing his mind. “One: you mean mood. Two: ew man, get a room.”

“What, can’t a couple of lovebirds enjoy themselves on their front porch?”

“This isn’t your porch…”

“Sure it is, Minnie’s the leader’s daughter, you know.”

Satu paused. “Kinda weird to move in with your successful father-in-law, isn't it?”

“Oh can it,” Riku muttered. “Minnie, this ingrate’s my son, Satu. Satu, this is the apple of my eye.”

Satu observed the woman who had remained silent until now. On closer inspection, her blond hair had a whitish tone, matching the dimming brightness behind her gray eyes. Her hands had slight creases, barely outlining the veins beneath. He guessed Minnie was in her fifties, the same as his father. He offered a hand and bowed his head. “Sorry for interrupting. It’s nice to meet you.”

Minnie smiled and shook his head. “It’s nice to meet you too, Satu. Riku’s told me a lot about you.”

“Hoping not everything,” Satu said with a smirk.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to bore her with your teen angst;” Riku affirmed, pulling out a string of photos from his gi. “I just showed her old baby pictures back in the times you actually gave a damn about things.”

“Give me those,” Satu grumbled, snatching at the photo string. He managed to grasp one and pulled it back. His expression mellowed at the photograph in his palm before walking past the couple. “I’m eating out.”


Minnie looked to Riku, but he shook his head, frowning at his son’s back. “Sorry, it’s been harder on him than it has for anyone else.”
[center]-----[/center]
As Satu patrolled the village streets, he realized his appetite had withered away. He looked down at his hand; his sea-salt ice cream had melted all over his fingerless glove. Satu hated the sticky feeling between his fingers and made his way toward the water by the coastline. As he ran his hand through the current, he tensed up as he sensed five presences beckon his vicinity.

“Satu Kaemon?”

Satu stood up and looked behind him. There were four men and one woman gathered in a semicircle facing him. The men all wore dark blue undergarments and heeled sandals with green flak jackets over their torsos. The woman was more bold, only covered in a blue tank top and tight, black shorts. Hidden Leaf headbands adorned their brows. “Yes?”

The woman stepped forward and said, “We were the team sent ahead by Lord Hokage to deliver your father’s goods. We waited for you to recover so we could take you back home.”
Satu glanced over the shinobi carefully, noting where their weapons were stored. “The old guy sent Chunin and Jonin on a mail trip? I know we’re living in [i]relative[/i] world peace, but I didn’t think we were [i]that[/i] strapped for missions.”

The woman ignored him. “We should leave soon.”

“Sorry, but I want to stay with my father for a few more days. Saying goodbye’s always been hard for me.”

“I’m sorry,” one of the Leaf shinobi intervened. “But it is the utmost importance you return home with us straight away. Lord Hokage personally requested we bring you home in the greatest hurry.”

[i]It figures he’d catch on.[/i] “I’m not going home with you guys. Now beat it.”

“Plan B!” the man commanded. With that, the five shinobi all crouched and sped forward at Satu, aiming to attack.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter 3: Caution]

“I am so not in the mood for this,” Satu grumbled. He flipped into the air behind him and resituated himself in midair, surveying the ambush. “I’ll give you one warning: f*** off or we’re gonna have problems.”

The shinobi ignored him and started weaving their hands together, forming several different gestures in a row. One shinobi slammed the ground with both palms, sending spikes of earth from the ground at Satu. At the same time, the other three men breathed fireballs, wind spheres, and ice spikes at Satu. Only the woman stayed back, awaiting Satu’s counterattack.

Satu sighed as he remained motionless. All of the ranged attacks passed through him, as if they were nothing more than a gusty breeze. With an intent eye on him, the kunoichi noted that Satu had lowered a little as the attacks phased through. The shinobi stared in shock before whipping out their kunai knives, pumping chakra into their legs for an extra boost before leaping up to join Satu in the air. Satu quickly thrust his arms up above his head, startling the enemy further as the kunai knives were all sliced in half following a blinding light. He took advantage of the opening and quickly threw some punches and elbows at the shinobis’ heads, sending them crashing into the water below. As he landed on the water’s surface, he locked gazes with the woman, her fiery eyes matching her bright, orange hair. “You’ll be more fun than those guys, right?”

She assumed a fighting stance. “Your reputation precedes you, Satu Kaemon.”

“I’m betting you have one too. What’s your name?”

“Kami Setsuya,” she answered.

“You sure look divine,” Satu commented. He smirked as he received the reaction he wanted, a prompt dash from Kami. She spun and whipped a kick at Satu’s head, lightning crackling around her zori. Satu jumped an inch off the ground and let the attack phase through, angling his hand around her back and grabbing her arm as his feet planted on the ground. With a heave, he slammed Kami into the pool and quickly thrust his palm in the same spot. A pillar of light shone where Kami had submerged, illuminating the entire body of murky water. After a few moments, Satu leaped to the side, just barely dodging an aerial attack from Kami. “You’re handy with Substitution, eh?”

“Not particularly, it’s a basic skill,” she countered, engaging a series of punches and kicks aimed at Satu. He expertly defended himself against each blow, but was unable to get a hit of his own in. During the exchange, Satu’s fist began glowing and discharging electricity. Before Satu could react, he looked behind him and discovered a shadow clone of Kami aiming for his back, also with charging lightning in her hand. He let the deadly assaults pass through him as his body slipped under the water’s surface.

[i]Crap, this is bad. I need to get out before-[/i]

The two Kamis then dispersed electricity in both pairs of hands and slammed the water’s surface, electrocuting the entire lake. Satu grimaced as he let the lightning pass through, the surface slowly edging away further from him. His body fell quickly, as if there was no water to support his buoyancy.

[i]That damn witch figured out my jutsu’s weak point. But she must be expending a hell of a lot of chakra to spread this much lightning through the entire lake. It’s all a matter of time…[/i]

Satu neared closer and closer to the water’s bottom. Despite being invulnerable to the effects, Satu could sense the water pressure was beginning to increase to dangerous levels. Up above, Kami clenched her teeth, sweat carrying her headband off her forehead to the water. A few moments later, she detached her palms and crawled to the shoreline as her clone disappeared, panting heavily. Dead fish coated the water’s surface, a putrid smell beginning to overtake the town. Several spectators were gathering around the lake to check out the source of the commotion.

Kami spread out on her back, glancing over to her right. Townsfolk had retrieved her comrades before she used her jutsu. They still seemed to be unconscious, but she could tell they would be fine judging by the expressions of their caretakers. She sat up and picked up her headband, ready to tie it around her head when water suddenly erupted from the middle of the lake.

Everyone looked up to see a lone figure floating up above, surrounded by a golden aura. She reached for her kunai, but before she knew it, Satu had settled right next to her, chopping the back of her neck. She slumped to the ground and nestled at Satu’s feet, unconscious.


The aura faded and Satu stood up, glancing around at the curious and fearful expressions of the townsfolk. [i]Well, this should be more of a cue than anything.[/i]
[center][i]----[/i][/center]
Riku shuffled his feet as he leaned against the front gate of the Hidden Waterfall Village. Glancing at his watch, he spat at the ground before taking notice of a silhouette approaching him. “Leaving without saying goodbye? You ingrate.”

“Obviously you’d be here if you weren’t at the house,” Satu replied. “Minnie says it’s almost time for dinner.” Riku said nothing, staring at his son. After a few silent moments, Satu said, “Well, I better get going.”

His father’s expression softened. “Satu, listen-”

“What?”

“I know the past year and a half’s been rough on you,” Riku started. “It’s been rough for me too.”

“Sure doesn’t seem like it,” Satu spat.

Riku took a deep breath. “I’ve put up a good front. I didn’t want you to waste time thinking of my feelings. I’ve always found it admirable of you to put others before yourself, but you’ve done that for too long.”

“Even so,” Satu countered. “Don’t you think you’ve moved on to someone else a little too quickly? Mom hasn’t even been dead for two years.”

“Son, if there was one thing people knew about your mother, it’s that she never looked back. She always lived in the present and kept moving forward. I will [i]always[/i] love Rosa. Always. She was one of the most amazing people I’ve ever had the fortune of knowing and I’m happy that she left with me with an incredible son.” Satu looked down, his muscles relaxing. “And I just wanted to tell you I’m proud of you for your selfless actions and outstanding fortitude. You’ve more than earned my blessing to pursue your dream and live your life the way you want. You’re a man now.”

Satu walked over and wrapped his arms around Riku, holding him close. The two stood there in their embrace for what seemed like hours, though it only amounted to a minute. Finally, Satu let go and displayed a small, but genuine smile. “Take care of yourself, dad.”

Riku dug into his pocket and reached out for Satu’s hand. He dropped a golden chain attached to a small skeleton key. The necklace looped through the key’s circular handle and two rectangular teeth jutted out from the shaft. “This belonged to your mother. She said it was a good luck charm of hers that always guided her in the right direction. Satu, if you’re feeling uncertain, trust your gut. You’re lucky you inherited your mother’s instincts and not mine, so put them to good use.”

Satu nodded and hung the necklace around his neck. The metal felt cold, yet soothing against his body. “I instructed Minnie on how to oil and maintain your leg and I gave her earplugs for bed.”

“I don’t snore [i]that[/i] loudly.”

Satu chuckled. “I think you need to get a hearing aid soon.”

Riku rolled his eyes before saying, “Wherever you go, stay away from the Land of Fire for a while. They’ll be looking for you now.”

Satu scoffed. “The old man sent a bunch of Chunin and [i]one[/i] Jonin to detain me. I’m [i]sure[/i] he’s out for my ass.”

“Well, appearances have to be maintained when it comes to politics. It’ll only be so long until you’ll grow tired of it.”

“Too late for that…” Satu muttered. He took out a cloak from his knapsack and put it on, lowering the hood over his head. “One last thing. I know you two are middle-aged now, but you still need to take caution. So remember one thing.”

Riku raised an eyebrow.

Satu took a deep breath before hollering, “PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTE-”

He managed to dodge the flurry of shuriken aimed at his mouth before he took off into the night, laughing hysterically. Looking back, Satu branded the image of his ranting father into his mind as he shrunk into the horizon.

It would be the last time he would ever see him again.[/spoiler]
[url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/287265-naruto-the-key-guide/page__st__20#entry5996262"]Chapter 4: Desecration[/url]
[url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/287265-naruto-the-key-guide/page__st__20#entry5998526"]Chapter 5: The Vast Key[/url]
[url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/287265-naruto-the-key-guide/page__st__40#entry6000502"]Chapter 6: Initiation and Chapter 7: A Talk[/url]
[url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/287265-naruto-the-key-guide/page__st__40#entry6005400"]Chapter 8: Discovery and Chapter 9: Escape[/url]

[Kakashi Hatake]

I wanted to go ahead and comment here before I started reading just in case I don't come out the other end alive or worse... interested. I usually go out of my way to not read things like this spare a few rare occasions such as this one. From just the first post alone, I can tell that you put a lot of effort into this so the least I can do is give it a shot. Besides, I feel super pumped today so I bet I can power through this in a [s]decade[/s] small amount of time or so close.

[size=1]Also, you're a bro and bros read bros fics.[/size]

[Fusion X. Denver]

That's the ticket.
And if you outright hate it, no offense taken, just give me a good reason.
Though I don't think you'll hate it, you'd probably get along with Satu >.>

[Blake]

Commenting for the sake of having it in content, will read later.

[Spirit of DMG]

XD. Once again, you've created something that makes me want to smack you if you don't hurry up and post more of it.

[Fusion X. Denver]

[quote name='Donovyn Mikara Gerra' timestamp='1343838445' post='5994484']
XD. Once again, you've created something that makes me want to smack you if you don't hurry up and post more of it.
[/quote]

Sweet, I'm glad to hear you like it! 4 will be up late Thursday night or early Friday morning, depending on when I leave for vacation.

[Kakashi Hatake]

I've only just now finished 1 due to the fact that I was sidetracked with the new episodes of GameGrumps but I'll probably finish 2 then read 3 tomorrow.

Liking it so far. It's probably more work for you, but I've always found it to be quite dreary to read without something to listen to. It'd be cool to have select music for that part. For example, hyperlink to a song fitting the changing situations. It's kept me going in Katawa Shoujo and I bet it'd work well here.

Also, what's a gi? I have no idea how to imagine Satu. I just see him as a brown-haired generic ninja.

[Fusion X. Denver]

[quote name='Kakashi Hatake' timestamp='1343838780' post='5994488']
I've only just now finished 1 due to the fact that I was sidetracked with the new episodes of GameGrumps but I'll probably finish 2 then read 3 tomorrow.

Liking it so far. It's probably more work for you, but I've always found it to be quite dreary to read without something to listen to. It'd be cool to have select music for that part. For example, hyperlink to a song fitting the changing situations. It's kept me going in Katawa Shoujo and I bet it'd work well here.

Also, what's a gi? I have no idea how to imagine Satu. I just see him as a brown-haired generic ninja.
[/quote]

People were telling me to do a DEF OST too, but aside from it being a lot of work, I kinda figured that since most books often leave things up to the reader's imagination, I'd let people make their own OST and enhance their experience in a way they see fit.
Just listen to rock music or J-Pop and it'll probably work 90% of the time =P

A gi's basically a martial arts outfit. [url="http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb57088/streetfighter/images/c/cb/Ryu-hdstance.gif"]Ryu[/url] wears one, [url="http://www.cosplaypower.com/images/cosplay/Dragonball-Evolution-Goku-Gi-Cosplay3.jpg"]Goku[/url] wears one, I used this [url="http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/259/1/a/__beginning___by_ouija_b-d2ytw07.jpg"]pic[/url] as a reference for Satu.

[Kakashi Hatake]

Satu looks like a BAMF.

[Fusion X. Denver]

[quote name='Kakashi Hatake' timestamp='1343839560' post='5994501']
Satu looks like a BAMF.
[/quote]

You've seen nothing yet, my friend.

[Super Chaos Sonic]

Well that last pic looks familiar XD

I'm interested in this fic, Fuse. Another great work of writing...keep it up!

[Fusion X. Denver]

[quote name='Chaos Sonic' timestamp='1343841367' post='5994532']
Well that last pic looks familiar XD

I'm interested in this fic, Fuse. Another great work of writing...keep it up!
[/quote]

Yeah...I was trying to think of what the main's powers would be, then I glanced at that picture and thought, "Bingo."

Good to hear bro, I definitely plan on doing so.

[Lt. Colonel Remo]

Welp

Just finished all three

I honestly think this one is going to be better than DEF

Mainly due to a well thoughtout plot and no more executive meddling from those reading it

[s]ALSO, REAL MEN DON'T NEED PROTECTION[/s]

[Fusion X. Denver]

[quote name='iRemo' timestamp='1343849698' post='5994647']
Welp

Just finished all three

I honestly think this one is going to be better than DEF
[b]Same.[/b]
Mainly due to a well thoughtout plot and no more executive meddling from those reading it
[b]Pretty much nailed it.[/b]
[s]ALSO, REAL MEN DON'T NEED PROTECTION[/s]
[b][s]ONE COULD ARGUE RIKU IS NOT A REAL MAN AT ALL[/s][/b]
[b][s](no he's not a tranny)[/s][/b]
[/quote]

Glad to hear all the positive feedback; is there anything you guys think I could do better with? Maybe descriptions since Lemons only pictured Satu as someone pretty generic?

[Blake]

*Clears throat*
mince·meat   [mins-meet]
noun
1.
a mixture composed of minced apples, suet, and sometimes meat, together with raisins, currants, candied citron, etc., for filling a pie.
2.
anything cut up very small, especially meat.

And you didn't even use the context version right @_@

That said, this... is rather meh compared to DEF. I'm completely bored by everything that happened, I can't stand the main, you never explained what exactly was up with dad's leg (It's clearly automail based, but has that happened in Narutoverse?), and the humor just fell flat with me.

Also... ROSA? REALLY?

I know you can do better than this.

[Fusion X. Denver]

[quote name='Yuzuru Otonashi' timestamp='1343868668' post='5994934']
*Clears throat*
mince·meat   [mins-meet]
noun
1.
a mixture composed of minced apples, suet, and sometimes meat, together with raisins, currants, candied citron, etc., for filling a pie.
2.
anything cut up very small, especially meat.

And you didn't even use the context version right @_@
[b]Ah, alright. Can't take Waterfall ninja too seriously anyways.[/b]
That said, this... is rather meh compared to DEF. I'm completely bored by everything that happened, I can't stand the main, you never explained what exactly was up with dad's leg (It's clearly automail based, but has that happened in Narutoverse?), and the humor just fell flat with me.
[b]Well he [i]just[/i] set off on his journey, but fair enough. I explain the deal with the leg later (this takes place generations and generations after main storyline). If humor's flat, well, guess I'm rusty?[/b]
Also... ROSA? REALLY?
[b]Yeah, it was a joke.[/b]
[b]geddi*shot*[/b]
I know you can do better than this.
[b]Alright, I'll give it my best.[/b]
[/quote]

[Blake]

I understand that automail could happen gens later... I'm just saying that, in a universe where it never happened, you'd have to elaborate on that or it seems COMPLETELY out of place.

Also, Creator says get on Skype, you hobo, to talk about this.

[Fusion X. Denver]

[quote name='Yuzuru Otonashi' timestamp='1343881565' post='5995135']
I understand that automail could happen gens later... I'm just saying that, in a universe where it never happened, you'd have to elaborate on that or it seems COMPLETELY out of place.
[b]That's doable.[/b]
Also, Creator says get on Skype, you hobo, to talk about this.
[b]Am I getting my ear bitten off again?[/b][/quote]

[El Make]

Black-kun dob't be so negative, you're killing the good mood I'm in. I for one am just happy that I don't have to take an hour out of my day to read a chapter :3

[Lt. Colonel Remo]

FUSES FANFICS BRING ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD

But yeah, nice to see ya bro, it's been a while

[DL]

Short fic = riffview

I shall be gentle.


[spoiler=Chapter 1: Deeparture]

The wind gently blew through the treetops outside the front gate,

[b]And nowhere else but the front gate.[/b]

sending a spiral of green, dancing leaves into the air before letting them settle down below. One of the leaves rode the current towards the towering opening and found itself inside the bustling village below.

[b]The village is below the entrance.[/b]

The townspeople babbled and traveled to and fro, manipulating the frantic leaf erratically through the streets until the wind died,

[b]It died a warrior's death.[/b]

allowing it to settle on top of a metal headband bearing a symbol similar to its image.

[b]Even if the Leaf Village symbol resembles more a snail on its side than a leaf. But yeah, that works too.[/b]

Its owner was lying on the dirt path outside of a small, humble building bearing the sign “Kaemon Kills”.

[b]Ninjew is unamused.[/b]

People glanced at the sight as they passed by, exchanging curious whispers and fixated glances.

[b]And then they discovered their talent for doing things in a synchronized manner and decided to start a big village musical.[/b]

This prompted a man inside to step out and fix this public problem.

[b]Sleeping outside. A public problem.[/b]

He prodded the boy's head with a gnarled cane. “Satu, you’re making me look bad again! Wake up!”

[b]"Don't you know, son? Sleeping is prohibited. You have to do it indoors, or you become a symbol for the wretch and disorder of the entire culture."[/b]

The boy called Satu let out a yawn, unperturbed by the man’s walking stick. A faint, hazel glimmer dimmed between his eyelids,

[b]A single faint hazel glimmer, yet multiple eyelids. I-...pfft.[/b]

struggling for focus outside of the brown bangs clouding his vision.

[b]If your hair clouds your vision, it's time to see the barber.[/b]

As he sat up, the headband resting on his forehead slipped off and fell to the ground, the leaf whisked away by the wind and carried off, unbeknownst to Satu. He stood up and dusted off his sleeveless, yellow gi while pulling its zipper down, allowing the wind to cool his bare chest. “Geez dad, how can you muster any energy today? It’s hot as hell out here.”

Riku Kaemon paid no attention to his son’s grumbling. It reminded him too much of his younger days, back when his brown hair was not as thin or when his right leg did not need maintenance every day.

[b]Definitely not any muscular aspects of being young. Nope, just the hair and metal leg.[/b]

At least he had kept his broad figure, insistent on staying in shape despite his handicap. “You need energy when you’re moving you know,”

[b]I'm guessing You Know is the big bad guy, and Bangy has to...move him? Makes sense to me.[/b]

he replied. “It’s not every day your life changes forever.”

[b]Our daily actions definitely do not affect the outcome of our future at all. if you were born to be a loser, you will always remain a loser until you move You Know. Rock Lee frowns upon this man.[/b]

Satu shrugged his remark off. “All that’s changing is your getting closer with your lover.”

[b]Getting closer with a lover? Sickening. Poking a sleeping child with a stick? S'alright~[/b]

“Not so!” Riku countered. “Remember, this is the last day Kaemon Kills will ever sell weapons! It won’t be opened again once I move to the Hidden Waterfall Village; I’ll be spending my days in blissful retirement!”

“There’s no difference when you don’t get customers for months…”

[b]Gee, I wonder why. In a village made up of ninjas, but mostly normal people, a store for weapons should have been used by everyone. Blasphemy.[/b]

“Meh, it’s just my luck that the store would hit a dry spell right before retirement. Anyway, have you told the Hokage of our departure?”

Satu rolled his eyes. “Dad, you’ve met with him four times this week already. He knows we’re leaving.”

“Right but,” Riku stopped, looking around before leaning closer. “Does he know…about [i]your[/i] plans?”

Satu shut his eyes, gripping the bridge of his nose. “Dad, that would be defeating the whole purpose of using this opportunity.”

“I think he might know, the old geezer’s rather sharp…”

“If he does know, it’s your fault for being loose-lipped.”

Riku scoffed. “You know I was an Anbu before my time leading Team 10.”

“Yeah, well, you’re rusty.”

[b]Ohlolgedditcuzhisleg'smetal[/b]

Riku tugged on Satu’s cheek, ignoring his grunts of protest as he began dragging his son down towards the gate.

[b]He ignores his son an awful lot...[/b]

“If your business is done here, then we should get moving.”

“Could you let go of me first?” Satu blurted. “Where’s all your stuff anyways?”

Riku obliged his son and replied, “Lord Hokage was generous enough to lend us a team to carry my luggage for me. They already left for the Hidden Waterfall last night.”

[b]They need a team to carry luggage. Aight. Bellboys are frowning right now.[/b]

Satu frowned, glancing back at the red domed building barely visible at the other edge of town. “How much time does it take to reach Hidden Waterfall on foot?”

Riku shrugged. “About a day or so?”

Satu nodded, dashing between his father's legs and hoisting him up on his shoulders. “I’ll fly us there, then.”

[b]...k[/b]

Riku yelped and bonked his son’s head. “Put me down! You’re making me look bad again!”

“You’re the one throwing a tantrum.”

“Don’t patronize me! How about showing some respect and-”

Satu immediately kicked off the ground and soared through the air, ignoring his father’s shrieks until he hovered above the village. He always loved the view of the Hidden Leaf Village from this high. Interestingly enough, old village lore told him that only one other was able to view the village from this perspective without the aid of the Hokage Monument.

[b]No one in the village knows any summoning jutsu for flying things? Aight.[/b]

Glancing back at the mountain, he noted the various faces that coated the entire side facing the village. “They’ve just about run out of room, haven’t they? What are they gonna do when the old man croaks?”

[b]...screw tradition?[/b]

Riku regained his composure before answering, “I don’t know, they’ll probably have all of the village’s Earth Style users create more mountain mass or something.”

[b]Oh u, ninjas, shapin nature to your needs. How sneaky and ninja-like. And might I add, a nice use of mass ninja power.[/b]

Satu observed the landscape for another minute or so, soaking it all in. “See you…”

[b]Absorbing the ladscape, he thought about his father. Now THAT'S how you multi-task. You Know is gonna get his arse handed to him by this kid.[/b]

“Did you say something?”

Satu shook his head. “Nah.”

With that, he turned and the pair flew off towards the rising sun.

[b]The sun is still rising. The kid's outside his store, sleeping. And yet, there are a crapload of citizens passing by, all frowning upon the disgusting act he was performing. What early risers.


Buut yeah, that was pretty fun.[/b]


[b]Anyway, this is pretty nice. Nothing special yet, and I picture the father as Alder (Pokemon) mixed with Ed (FMA) for some reason. The main is pretty nice, he seems to have some depth, which is good. Description is nice and poetic. And, while plot isn't really here yet, nor can I see where this is going (You Know is definite- *shot*) I eagerly will read chapter 2 sometime soon~ So yeah, this gets 2 ponies and a pancake. Basically, it's aight.~ Nice job, Fuse :3[/b]
[/spoiler]

[Fusion X. Denver]

Okay, so basically I need to pay more attention to my prose and editing, thank you DL. Glad you saw some depth in Satu, because that's what I'm going for for a while.

[DL]

Yeah, basically. (and don't make whole villages do musicals)


I plan to riffview the next few chapters as well, js~


I do wanna see how this develops :3

[Fusion X. Denver]

That's perfectly fine, I appreciate you're investing that much time into giving constructive criticism.

Today, I present Chapter 4. For those who were confused with Satu's power set last chapter, this'll clarify things.

[spoiler=Chapter 4: Desecration]
The sunlight broke through the treetops and shined upon the face of the forest’s lone inhabitant, leaving him squirming in the leaves that served as his bed. Satu let out a yawn and gained sense of his surroundings before standing up and incinerating each burnt log piece by piece. [i]No sense in giving Setsuya and the others even more of a trail.[/i]

Gauging the remaining distance, Satu decided to fly the rest of the way. Half an hour’s worth wouldn’t expend too much chakra. He soared up high and skimmed the treetops as he sniffed fresh air into his lungs, washing away the dregs of sleepiness that still plagued him. His mind drifted back two days prior to when he was embarking the same journey, but in the opposite direction.

[center]-----[/center]
[i]“Did you visit mom’s grave?” Satu asked. “I just realized we passed it.”[/i]

[i]“Of course I did,” Riku retorted. “I could never move so far without saying goodbye to your mother first. I’m not that senseless.”[/i]

[i]Satu remained silent, entering a sullen funk that lasted the rest of the day’s journey.[/i]

[center]-----[/center]
Soon enough, Satu recognized the barren area of dead trees below him and touched down to the ground. He was close enough now to the ancient Nara grounds, where his father’s influence had allowed them to bury Rosa Kaemon there, in respect to her love of peace and tranquility. Satu entered a quick run, keeping a close eye on his surroundings. [i]It may be a bit risky coming back close to home so soon, but it’s necessary. I just hope I don’t run into any-[/i]
He skidded to a halt as he entered the forest, his eyes falling upon an intrusive disturbance.

There in the forest stood a man with his back to Satu. He had a palm stretched out, aimed at a sinkhole in the ground. The ground was littered with several others. Satu’s eyes flared. “The hell do you think you’re doing?”

The desecrator whipped around. Piercing red eyes surveyed the intruder interrupting his work. He lowered his arm and suddenly brought it together with his other arm. The two steel armguards clashed, filling the air with a resounding clang. Before Satu realized it, the man had appeared beneath him, slicing up at his chin with the biggest dagger he had ever seen; it could have been mistaken for a cooking knife. “You should leave,” he said to his opponent, barely missing his mark as Satu leaned back. “It’s sacrilegious to interrupt God’s work.”

Satu gritted his teeth and grabbed the enemy’s wrist, entering a power struggle. “You call digging up sacred grounds ‘Gods’ work’? What God would want you to desecrate property of the Nara clan?”

“The God buried here, of course! I’ve heard tales and rumors that say Lord Jashin once walked this earth generations ago to deliver penance, but was defeated in combat and buried here! I’m going to dig him up and set him free.”

Satu narrowed his eyes. “If it’s been that long, I’m pretty sure your God’s gone.”

“Not so!” he cried. “Lord Jashin is immortal! He’s still here…and waiting for me.”

“Whatever,” Satu said, shoving his arm away. “Whoever you are, I’ll give you three seconds to get out of my sight, or else.”

Ignoring his demand, the man stood up and said, “The name is Reido Kotonashi, the one who will join with God!” He reached to his forehead and pulled off a red headband, clutching it tightly out towards Satu. “I’ll make you my 100[sup]th[/sup] kill and take your blood. Since I’m still mortal, this is all I can do to support Lord—”

“Dude, the f***?” Satu interrupted, backing away. “You washed that thing in blood? For 99 people? F*** man, that thing’s got to have AIDS.”

Reido growled, wrapping the headband around his head before slicking back his silvery hair. “I wouldn’t expect someone as ignorant as you to understand my faith. I’ll have you burn in Hell and know the true wrath of Jashin!” He reached for his belt and pulled out a second dagger, expertly twirling the knives around his fingers before entering a stance. “Show your moves.”

Satu obliged, gliding across the ground and slashing at Reido’s face with a kunai knife. Reido matched the knife with his dagger, aiming to stab at Satu’s torso with the other. Satu hopped up and let the blade pass through, smirking as Reido stumbled from the force matched against Satu’s kunai suddenly carrying him forward. Satu landed behind him and slashed his kunai down, just managing to tear through the furry cape on Reido’s back. “Huh, that wolf hide?”

Reido growled as he turned around, crisscrossing his arms as he sliced at Satu. Satu sliced upward with his kunai to counter, but it was cut in half by Reido’s blades. He kicked at Reido’s midriff, but Reido’s daggers blocked, allowing Reido to push him away and throw him off-balance. Reido smirked and tossed his right dagger at Satu’s chest. However, he immediately followed through by aiming his palm at Satu. Satu suddenly felt an enormous pressure and was brought down on his back, unable to retaliate while off-balance. He winced as the dagger followed suit and sliced through his side. Reido grinned as he kept his palm aimed at Satu. “Enjoying my jutsu?”

Satu grimaced. [i]I can’t turn intangible like this. Not while I’m pressed to the ground.[/i] “What is this?”

“Gravity, obviously,” Reido answered. “I can manipulate it freely to my own use.”

“Looks like you need a free hand for it,” Satu said. “That’s why you tossed the dagger first, right? Or maybe you just have terrible aim.”

“I’m an awesome marksman,” Reido replied. “Sure, I need to keep an open palm aimed on you to maintain the jutsu, but that’s no handicap.”

[i]What kind of idiot explains everything about his jutsu?[/i] Satu thought, slowly gathering chakra in his chest. “Would you [i]like[/i] a handicap?”

Reido sneered down at Satu, readying his dagger. “I’ll settle for your head.” As he slashed down, Satu opened his mouth and filled the forest with a bright light. Reido recoiled as quick as a snake, hissing as he held his hands over his eyes, agony shaking his legs. Satu regained his footing and weaved a couple of handsigns before jumping on Reido, two glowing forefingers held above his eye. “What are you-”

[i]Light Style: Finger Bang![/i]

A beam of light shot from Satu’s fingertips, implanting itself deep into Reido’s left eye. His enemy shrieked and lashed out wildly, but Satu had already jumped far enough away, blowing smoke from his fingertips. “Leave.”

Reido snarled, the color returning to his working eye as he glared at this impudent whelp, daring to do this to him. He would not have it. Reido shot both palms out and roared, forming an enormous field of pressure over the forest’s top.

[i]Zero Style: Crushing Devastation![/i]

Satu grunted as he tried to fly out of range, but the gravity took hold and he was pressed into the ground once more. Reido used one hand to pull his headband over his eyes and said, “I’ll snuff out that light of yours and take your eye for my own!”

Satu’s muscles began to twist uncomfortably. It took all his effort just to move his eyelids. [i]Well f***, he’s got me cornered. Solar Flare isn’t going to work now either. No choice…[/i] Satu focused on the chakra in his body and began changing his molecular structure, allowing his body to phase through the earth and out of Reido’s grasp. After a minute had passed, Reido stopped the jutsu and lifted the right side of his headband, keeping his left covered. He gasped at the empty crater and yelled at the top of his lungs, slamming the side of a tree trunk with his fist.

Meanwhile, Satu’s heart was begging to crawl out of his chest as he fell through endless amounts of earth. At the rate he was falling, he would soon encounter the earth’s mantle. [i]Well sh*t, looks like my fateful journey’s come to an end. Not much I can do if I materialize myself miles beneath the earth’s crust.[/i]

However, Satu soon found himself appearing from the ceiling of a spacious cavern. Stalactites and stalagmites coated the cave like an inside-out porcupine, with a small body of crystal-clear water in the middle. Satu cheered and allowed himself to become solid, performing a perfect swan dive into the refreshing cesspool. Blessing his mother’s Will of Fire, Satu climbed onto the bank of the water and lay on his back, breathing in as much air as he could. After he was done, he sat up and looked behind him.

He was not alone.[/spoiler]

Hope the editing went well; I'm posting this right before leaving for New England today, so there's a chance I may have missed some things, but I think it's okay.

[Spirit of DMG]

[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=1][background=initial]

Cesspool:

[color=#7B7B7B][b][color=#0055BB]1.[/color][/b][/color][font=verdana][size=1]
a cistern, well, or pit for retaining the [color=#333333]sediment[/color] of a drain or[color=#333333]for[/color] receiving the sewage from a house.[/size][/font][/background][/size][/font][/color][color=#333333][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=1][background=initial]
[color=#7B7B7B][b]2.[/b][/color][font=verdana][size=1]
any [color=#333333]filthy[/color] [color=#333333]receptacle[/color] or place.[/size][/font][/background][/size][/font][/color][color=#333333][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=1][background=initial]
[color=#7B7B7B][b]3.[/b][/color][font=verdana][size=1]
any place of moral filth or [color=#333333]immorality:[/color] [font=Georgia, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][i][color=#333333]a[/color] [color=#333333]cesspool[/color] of [color=#333333]iniquity.[/color][/i][/font][/size][/font]

[/background][/size][/font][/color]
Now, how was he diving into a Cesspool, if the water was crystal-clear?