Lunar Origins Posted December 4, 2012 Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 About a day or so ago I found my mother and I quarreling about my placement later in life, from 'what do you see yourself doing' and whatnot. My response was rather unsatisfactory to her; "I want to be a mother, adopt a kid, and raise a family full time, with maybe a web design service on the side." Of course, being her born [i]son[/i], this caused a bit of a problem and she went ahead and said that I was throwing my life away by shunning my born masculinity (as my procedures I would have done in the future would utterly remove ^^. So this gets me thinking, YCM. Is going out and getting a job and working full time to provide, as per the norm in society (at least, around here), more important than that of the role as a homebody raising children? And what are your opinions on a mother figure, be it male or female? Modern day society is changing in that we're seeing more and more born men assume that role. Stereotypes and such offer us a bleak view, though I think that may be broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gαr Posted December 4, 2012 Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 Screw society, do what you want. Norms of society are just guidelines. Make your own future. Sorry if that sounds like a motivational speaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FTW (For The Wynn) Posted December 4, 2012 Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 [size=3]I'm not really one to talk because at the moment I am a NEET, but parents want to see their children be successful. The way I see it, people who work all their lives but are never happy with what they do are the ones who are missing out on life. While it isn't bad to want a job, it also isn't bad to want to focus on family first.[/size] [size=3]As for you embracing your inner femininity, that's your own choice and no one else can make it. Don't worry about what other people think of it.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunar Origins Posted December 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 [quote name='GodWynn' timestamp='1354663706' post='6085377'] [size=3]I'm not really one to talk because at the moment I am a NEET, but parents want to see their children be successful. The way I see it, people who work all their lives but are never happy with what they do are the ones who are missing out on life. While it isn't bad to want a job, it also isn't bad to want to focus on family first.[/size] [size=3]As for you embracing your inner femininity, that's your own choice and no one else can make it. Don't worry about what other people think of it.[/size] [/quote] Inner femininity isn't the word- I'm transgender, so technically I [i]am[/i] a woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FTW (For The Wynn) Posted December 4, 2012 Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 My bad then. Still, just stay true to who you are. Nothing ever works out well if you have to be forced into something you don't want to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 My mum works in a primary school and has done ever since she had me more-or-less, so she was working while me and my sisters were at a school and at home with us. Which worked well and has done for others I know. I also know a lot of full-time mothers of little un's or those who work a couple of hours a week in restaurant at work, it's all just what works for them, and whatever you want works for you. Kindof a cheap non-answer, but yeah, society changes seemingly every couple of years with more tolerance/regularity to pretty much any and everything anyway. However, having the money to sustain and support a family is a must. Unfortunate reality is you/your partner combined would need to be bringing in enough to support a basic sustainable standard of living to make it feel worth it and scraping along wondering how you are going to buy x/y/z for you and child is not an existance I could go with. Edit: Below post is more or less what I want to say but does it better. God bless Fusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 I like that our society has done away with role relegation and it's all kinda free-form nowadays. Unfortunately, our economy's been thrown in the sh*tter, so honestly, I don't think stay-home parents are such a good idea for any longer than your children going to elementary school if you want financial stability. Of course, if the family's breadwinner has a really good job, then the other parent could probably stay home. But I think having two working parents is becoming more and more common. Both of my parents worked during my childhood until my dad had an early retirement when I reached high school and then my mom carried on being the breadwinner while also upholding her fair share of chores. I mean, we have a cleaning lady come once a week to spruce things up, but other than that, my family manages to get by from doing their own respective chores and maintaining the house together. Personally, I don't think relying on being a stay-home parent is such a good idea because there's no guarantee your partner will land a job that brings home enough money or that you might have your fair share of rainy days. It's a shame when you see people doing away with their education to stay at home, but I'd say that's better than banking on that and finding yourself f*cked when you're either alone, or buried under a lot of debt. And who knows, you might have the urge to work one day. My mom was a stay at home parent until she was offered a job at my grammar school and she's since then become our breadwinner and really liked her career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cute Rotten Yoshika Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 society has a stigma against the lower classes. it is VERY difficult to be a stay at home parent unless your partner is a high earner or you just have a miserable half life barely scraping by. but it is also something that can make a difference in a childs life. i can speak from personal experience that being poor doesnt hurt nearly as bad when you have a parent there all the time. i wish you the best of luck no matter what you choose. just make sure you choose what you feel is best for you and your family. not to be rude, but your mom can butt out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raine Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 [img]http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/26763894.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwarven King Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 Just do what you feel is right. ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wahrheit Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 http://www.emersoncentral.com/selfreliance.htm Read this. Feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwarven King Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 Just be happy! *hugs* =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Great Unclean One: VK Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 [quote name='☾ Sophia' timestamp='1354663102' post='6085365'] About a day or so ago I found my mother and I quarreling about my placement later in life, from 'what do you see yourself doing' and whatnot. My response was rather unsatisfactory to her; "I want to be a mother, adopt a kid, and raise a family full time, with maybe a web design service on the side." Of course, being her born [i]son[/i], this caused a bit of a problem and she went ahead and said that I was throwing my life away by shunning my born masculinity (as my procedures I would have done in the future would utterly remove ^^ . So this gets me thinking, YCM. Is going out and getting a job and working full time to provide, as per the norm in society (at least, around here), more important than that of the role as a homebody raising children? And what are your opinions on a mother figure, be it male or female? Modern day society is changing in that we're seeing more and more born men assume that role. Stereotypes and such offer us a bleak view, though I think that may be broken. [/quote] Society says they done away with gender roles, but they really haven't nor can they. In some cases, yes, women can fill the same roles as men but they are treated differently, both good and bad. In some places, some women expect the rules and attitude of some cultures to change for them when they need to learn they can't or else they draw hatred towards them and then they complain about it. Example given CoD type games. In those lobbies, there is only hate and smack talk. Learn to live with it like all men did and enjoy it. It took my friend a while to get used to the smack talk, racism, and hate filled language in the MoH AA lobby when I was in High School but once he let it all sink it, he joined in and had fun. We all did. He called me a gook, I call him a cracker. Then we double teamed a towelhead and he called us cocksuckers and then we all laughed. This is the same for CoD and most video game lobbies. I can't see why they can see that. After all, most sexists I know online are nothing but kids. We all know my stance on women who fake gaming or just don't get it so I won't drag this thread into a flame war. My attitude to your predicament is this. Do whatever you want, just realize that no matter what, no matter what, know the ups and downs of what you are gonna do, and embrace it. All deals have ups and downs, most people refuse this notion and it's those people whom I completely and utterly hate with disgust. In this society, transgender people are outcasts. Revealing it now will earn you nothing but admiration and support from some, and scorn and hate from others. Think long and hard if it's worth it and then do what ever comes up. If this comes off bigoted so be it since where I live, this is true, since it's a huge deal, you need to think long and hard about it. Just remember that most Right Wings will have love nothing more then to see you suffer or dead, and most Left Wings will support and honor your decision. I honestly think that society should serve the people, and not the other way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cute Rotten Yoshika Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 maybe, when confronted with the fact that society is biased against certain people, you could dedicate yourself to trying to improve it instead of just accepting it as fact and even reveling in it. just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Great Unclean One: VK Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 Let's just hope she knows what she's getting herself into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cute Rotten Yoshika Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 i was talking to you. why should anyone accept a world where they cant express something as deep seated and important as their identity in safety and confidence? why is that something that should just be shrugged about? if you have to preface your opinion with "well this might make me sound like a bigot" then you need to reevaluate that opinion. no one should have to sacrifice their right to live comfortably as who they really are so that they dont rock the boat or what the hellck ever. im speaking about this firsthand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Great Unclean One: VK Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 My point was to let her know that if she reveals the fact she's transgendered, she'll brew a s*** storm. It's the plain old truth in most communities, or at least where I live, that gays, minorities like me, and Liberals are mainly seen as undesirable. I revealed that I don't believe in God and I get shitted on because of that. Do I wish that we could have a world like you described? Yes. But do we really live in a world like that? No. If she's in a community or when she is in a community that openly accepts that, then I say go for it. You'll get less flak. Hell, you might be seen as a hero. When you're in conservative redneck PA, you keep that s*** secret if you want no trouble. Like I keep secret the fact I like women and men. If that stuff gets out, I'm boned. If I go out revealing everything about me in my neck of the woods, the s*** storm that would occur would be seen from space. That's why I'm smart about keeping some of my s*** secret. Maybe if I'm in a more liberal place, I'd reveal it but you have to know where you are and what are the majority's beliefs and act accordingly if you don't want no trouble. Sure, go change it, just realize this stuff takes at least half a century to two centuries to fully happen. You'll be always be fighting a uphill battle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tentacruel Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 While I strongly dislike when people actively discriminate against human beings for no reason other than being outside of the social norm, complaining that society doesn't bend to suit you is somewhat ignorant. Transgenderism is a sensitive topic. While no one should be able to decide that another person should or shouldn't be able to have such an operation, any major alteration to your body is going to be a big deal. You just have to understand that. This isn't so much aimed at the TC, as Rin seems to have a pretty good idea what she's getting into, but just as a general statement. Oh, and almost everyone has something that they would hold against someone for doing with their life. One may be tolerant of alternative sexual lifestyles but be very angered by their friend joining a cult. What I'm trying to say is that as bad as certain things may seem to you, somebody may be experiencing the polar opposite somewhere else. Sure, in redneck communities, being gay makes you an instant target, and precaution must be taken. But let's be honest, it's not like the United States (as an example) is made up of 94% strict conservatives. And as ridiculous as I think the term "liberal media" is, people do get away with s*** like this. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GCB_%28TV_series%29 You just gotta deal. People have different perspectives, and that isn't going to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunar Origins Posted December 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 [quote name='Comrade TentaSparkle' timestamp='1354846000' post='6087256'] Transgenderism is a sensitive topic. While no one should be able to decide that another person should or shouldn't be able to have such an operation, any major alteration to your body is going to be a big deal. You just have to understand that. This isn't so much aimed at the TC, as Rin seems to have a pretty good idea what she's getting into, but just as a general statement. [/quote] I do have a good idea of what to expect. Living in the South is a bit of a barrier. I didn't intend for this to be a pity-me thread. I just wanted a discussion on the aspects of gender roles in society, but you guys actually did come along and help me out. Thanks, guys. <3 [quote name='Comrade TentaSparkle' timestamp='1354846000' post='6087256'] [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GCB_%28TV_series%29"]http://en.wikipedia....GCB_(TV_series)[/url] [/quote] *Cringe.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwarven King Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 I'll still <3 you no matter your decision Lunar. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exiro Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 I was in great sadness the other day, as I discovered I had run out of whore moans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyng's Old Account Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 To answer your questions... 1 - I believe the parental role is the most important role in society. Its vital. Young children need to have someone to care for them. Whether a nanny, a full-time parent, etc. I think that this kind of role is the cornerstone in which society can actually function from. 2 - My opinion of the mother/father/parent figure would be that it is fair to assume they're generally good people on the grounds that they've decided to settle down and start a family. However, from experience, I know of children being used as a method to ensnare a person for financial gain. I find that its safe to assume that, depending on the motives of having and caring for the child, one can determine your own opinion on parents. In general, however, I would have to say I hold the role to high regard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cute Rotten Yoshika Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 [quote name='Comrade TentaSparkle' timestamp='1354846000' post='6087256'] While I strongly dislike when people actively discriminate against human beings for no reason other than being outside of the social norm, complaining that society doesn't bend to suit you is somewhat ignorant. Transgenderism is a sensitive topic. While no one should be able to decide that another person should or shouldn't be able to have such an operation, any major alteration to your body is going to be a big deal. You just have to understand that. This isn't so much aimed at the TC, as Rin seems to have a pretty good idea what she's getting into, but just as a general statement. Oh, and almost everyone has something that they would hold against someone for doing with their life. One may be tolerant of alternative sexual lifestyles but be very angered by their friend joining a cult. What I'm trying to say is that as bad as certain things may seem to you, somebody may be experiencing the polar opposite somewhere else. Sure, in redneck communities, being gay makes you an instant target, and precaution must be taken. But let's be honest, it's not like the United States (as an example) is made up of 94% strict conservatives. And as ridiculous as I think the term "liberal media" is, people do get away with s*** like this. [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GCB_%28TV_series%29"]http://en.wikipedia....GCB_(TV_series)[/url] You just gotta deal. People have different perspectives, and that isn't going to change. [/quote] its not at all ignorant to expect society to change. society is just people. people change all the time and to expect them to not just because its a "big deal" is whats ignorant. i understand people can be way gross about it too. i live in arizona. its full of bigots. im trans, and gay, and mixed race. a lot of people really REALLY dont like me, but thats not gonna stop me. i think there has been a slight misunderstanding. i dont expect every single person in the world to accept me. thats impossible. im expecting SOCIETY, which gets to decide whether i can get the treatment i need, or if i can change my name to something i prefer, or if im allowed to marry who i want, to change. pessimism isnt gonna help any. while racial relations in the us are nowhere near perfect, a lot of progress has been made in getting that equality. progress is being made for (most of) the gay community. all im saying is that trans people need to start getting the same recognition. it doesnt matter if its a 'major bodily change'. gender dysphoria is a real medical condition and thats how you treat it. it doesnt matter if some people are bigots, that shouldnt stop anything ever because otherwise nothing would get done. i dont think i should be forced to "deal" with being treated as subhuman or not being able to get the medical care i need because Gross Dude Who Hates Any Kind of Minority #23769201 doesnt understand it and isnt okay with it. again, im speaking about all this firsthand. it isnt a thought experiment for me. its been my reality for ~2-3 years now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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