Alice Moonflowyr Posted March 15, 2013 Report Share Posted March 15, 2013 This is my first one-shot, and I'm splitting the story into 3 parts. I hope you enjoy! And yeah, each part is gonna be long =P [spoiler=Part 1] A cloaked figure trudged along a dirt road towards a huge metal gateway. It would be hard to distinguish the road from the rest of the area though, as the ground around the road looked almost exactly the same. It was only a road in the sense of the large amount of footprints concentrated in one area. The mountains around this area also helped distinguish a specific place for a road to maybe exist one day. The figure concealed their facial features quite well, and all you could see besides the cloak was a pair of small hands, and black boots. This wasn’t exactly out of the norm though; this world was a dangerous place. The only thing different about this figure from others, was that this one carried a large rifle on their back. The length and scope told it was a rifle of the sniper variety, and the scuffed up exterior showed that it had seen use. The sniper was colored black, with lines of red running across it in strange patterns. As the figure neared the giant metal gateway, four other figures ran out from huts at the edges of the gateway. They were obviously male. “I’m sorry sir, but we’re going to need some form of ID.” One of the men said, with a tired expression on his face. The figure pulled their cloak back enough to show their face, and the figure turned out to be female. She wasn’t what one would call beautiful or cute, but had an aura of war around her, like she was used to fighting, and wouldn’t mind another. “I don’t have any sort of ID. And I also don’t recall this gateway being manned.” The girl said haughtily, shaking her head slowly. “Ah…sorry ma’am. And we recently installed a new City between this gateway and Gateway 14. So we’ve got both gateways manned.” The same man spoke again, with the other three just nodding along. “And we need some form of ID.” “To let me through? That’s ridiculous. And what kind of ID to you expect me to produce?” the girl said, letting out a sigh of annoyance. “Ah….well, mostly that you’re human, and not some crazy monster from out in the wastes.” This was one of the other men speaking, and he sounded more like a boy than like a man. “Haven’t I shown you enough? You can tell I’m not a…what do they have around Gateway 13 again? Because the only creatures that can look human are Succubi, which are only even rumored to be around Gateway 16, and creatures with illusionist abilities, and they wouldn’t bother with a brand-new settlement anyways.” The men looked very uncomfortable at this, and then proceeded to let the girl through the gateway. “Welcome to Haven ma’am,” one of the men said as she passed through the gate. She paused at that, and said; “I don’t plan on being welcomed.” She then continued onwards through the gate, trudging along the road that wasn’t a road. The girl continued walking along this road until she heard a sound coming from the mountains to her left. She stopped to make sure she wasn’t hearing anything. After about five minutes of silence, she moved on. … Haven was a small City, composed of a few rusted houses made from sheets of rusted metal, and mostly tents made of scraps of fabric sewed together. The only decent buildings were the Barracks, which had actual wood pieces in it, and the jailhouse, which was made with some higher-quality metal. Walls made of the same rusted metal surrounded the entire area, and had barbed wire covering the top of it. There were two entrances to the City. A man sat in front of a tent with a large blanket laid out in front of him. He had short brown hair, and was wearing a dark pair of sunglasses. He had a short goatee and sideburns that gave him a look like that of a bounty hunter. He wore a black leather jumpsuit with matching gloves, boots and cloak. Clouds covered the sky in the area around Haven almost all year round, with not much sunlight. Underneath the cloak was a small outline of what could be a submachine gun, where the man’s hand was almost always near. On the blanket were strewn various items. On one end were luxuries such as jewelry, rolled-up capes, and small packets of sugar. On the other end were things needed for survival. A few sleeping bags, a roll of cloth, two or three loaves of bread, a packet of vegetable seeds, and so on. Every once in a while, one of the Haven folk would stop by his tent, drop a few copper coins in his hand, and take maybe a loaf, or a sleeping bag. Rarely, a flash of silver could be seen and a packet of sugar gone. The man was leaning up against a large boulder that he had attached his tent to, surveying the miniscule population of Haven. He considered packing up for the day and getting a mite of sleep before he moved on, and then saw a brown-cloaked figure enter through the North entrance. He normally wouldn’t make anything of this; cloaks were not uncommon in this area. What caught his eye was the high-tech bolt-action sniper rifle strapped to the figures back. The bounty hunter could appreciate a good weapon, and eyed the rifle reverently. He let out a quiet whistle as he admired it. The figure noticed his tent with the items of interest in front of it. The figure quickly shuffled up. “Selling, or bartering?” the voice from inside the hood said. The bounty hunter was rather surprised to hear a female voice from inside the cloak. He concealed his surprise well, turning the flinch of shock into a stretch. “Selling. But I don’t sell nothing to a folk whose face I can’t see.” The bounty hunter said. His voice was rather deep and had a slightly gravelly tone to it. He smiled slightly. The girl pulled her hood off, revealing long fiery red hair situated in a French braid. “Satisfied?” She asked, her annoyance showing on her face. She crossed her arms. “Yes. My name is Alexi. Bounty hunter. And you are?” Alexi held out his hand for a handshake. “My name is Kotari.” Kotari did not return the handshake, nor did she state anything other than her name. “I’ll be taking one of those loaves off you if you don’t mind. Will this be enough?” Kotari reached inside her cloak and pulled out a single gold coin. Alexi’s eyes widened. Gold coins were insanely rare in Arasque. He then instantly became suspicious, took the coin, and bit it. Surprisingly, it was real. “Now where does a nice girl like you get money like this?” Alexi muttered, half to himself. He was turning the coin over and over again in his fingers, with a serious expression on his face. Kotari indicated the rifle on her back with the slightest of movements. “I have my ways,” she stated bluntly. She took a loaf, donned her hood, and headed towards the South entrance. Alexi made a spilt-second decision. He quickly rolled the blanket up and, leaving his tent, he tossed the whole thing to one of the kids that had been watching. Ignoring the gigantic smile on the child’s face, he grabbed his large water canteen, and a sack of biscuits before chasing Kotari. As he caught up, he yelled, “Hey! Wait up!” Kotari stopped and allowed him to reach her side before continuing on. “Where are you headed?” Alexi asked, matching her stride. “Sanctuary,” Kotari said, pulling her hood further down her face. “Mind if I tag along?” Alexi asked. He figured he could get some good money if he could get in on whatever Kotari was doing to get her cash. Kotari stayed silent, and continued walking. “Hey! Did you hear me?” Alexi asked. After he still got no answer, he threw his hands in the air and turned around to head back to Haven and get his stuff back. As he turned, he felt her hand on his arm. “I didn’t say you couldn’t come,” was all she said. Kotari then let go of his arm, and continued on. Alexi wasn’t sure what to do for a few minutes, then he figured it out. He smiled a little and caught up to Kotari, and they both trudged down the road to Sanctuary. … Deep beneath the planet’s surface, in the network of tunnels that traverse the entire planet, there was a trembling. People above thought it was an earthquake, or some larger creature moving through the Maze of the Dead, the name of the tunnels. In the hear t of the Maze, a large yellow eye snapped open. A large roar teared through the silence of the Maze. Then, one thought resonated through the tunnels, in a voice that was warped and distorted. I….will….be….FREE. … “Whoa. Did you feel that?” Alexi asked as he felt the earth tremble beneath his feet. He held his arms out for balance as the trembles increased for a few seconds, then died down. Kotari kept walking as if nothing happened. “Many earthquakes happen near this area. The Maze is a common transportation system for large groups of Orcs and Goblins, or for larger creatures such as Lesser Giants or Trolls,” Kotari stated calmly as she walked. “You get used to it after a while.” Alexi shrugged and kept walking. “Wonder where they’re going.” He muttered to himself as he caught up with Kotari. “Where are you from anyway?” He asked her. Kotari stopped. “Storn.” She said quietly before starting up again. “Storn? But that’s all the way on the other end of the planet!” Alexi said, his mouth forming a small ‘O’ shape. “And yet here I am.” Kotari said with her seemingly unnatural calmness. “People in my line of work tend to travel all around.” “And what is that, exactly? Your work?” Alexi asked, eyeing the sniper rifle again. “My work is none of your business, bounty hunter.” Kotari said, saying the words bounty hunter like an insult. She then pulled her hood further down over her face and kept walking. “Hey, what do you have against bounty hunters?” Alexi asked. He showed no hurt. It was quite common for the people to have grudges against bounty hunters, for one reason or another. Alexi didn’t exactly care about the grudge itself, he just liked to hear the reason why. “They tend to get in my way. Can we change the subject?” Kotari said roughly. Her tone indicated that Alexi was not to talk further on the subject of her work. Alexi frowned. “Can you at least tell me where you got that sweet gun? One of those would certainly help me.” He said, reverently staring at the gun. Kotari laughed. “It’s a one-of-a-kind. I built it myself, from scratch. I’ve been improving it since day one. You won’t find another sniper rifle of this caliber anywhere in the world.” Kotari sounded rather proud of herself. “How does the thing work? I can’t see any magazine slot.” Alexi observed. “It shoots bullets made of hardened light. Cost me a pretty penny to get the solar converter needed to do it, but it was worth it. I have to pull the bolt back still though. Don’t want any accidental discharges.” Alexi’s mouth properly dropped open. “A solar conversion gun…I’ve only ever heard of those things. I thought that the government of Old Arasque destroyed all of the solar converters?” “Hence the pretty penny it cost me.” The duo traveled in silence for a few hours, with Alexi even more curious about this strange girl who had a solar conversion gun. They reached a pass between two mountains, dotted with caves and a few entrances to the Maze of the Dead. Alexi pulled out a revolver from his boot, thumbing back the safety. “I hate this pass,” he muttered half to himself. Kotari had slung her sniper off her back and removed part of the front barrel. “The good part about a solar conversion gun? It can be either a machine gun or a bolt-action rifle.” Kotari grinned under her hood as she flipped a setting on the side of the gun, storing the sniper barrel in a large leather pouch on her waist. The duo held their guns at the ready. They were in the middle of the pass when it happened. Three groups of Goblins rushed them, one in the front, one in the back, and one group on the mountainside with crossbows. The rest were armed with a variety of rusted blades, slings, and about three or four of the goblins had proper pistols. The goblins were about four and a half feet tall, with pale scabbed skin and long ears. They wore a variety of leather armors. The lead Goblin, identified by a bulletproof vest and an actual pistol, grunted a few times. “English please,” Kotari said, sounding exasperated. The Goblin perked its long ears up as it heard her voice. It turned to another Goblin and said a few words in the language of the Goblins, Troshe. The Goblin he spoke to ran up to Kotari and, using its knife, flipped her hood off. The leader laughed. He ran a scabby finger down Kotaris cheek, to her disgust. “You will fetch a lovely price at the slave market. Take the other one and tie him up. He will be our supper. The girl will be mine to deal with.” The Goblins English was garbled and slightly twisted. Goblins rushed to obey his commands. As they were tying up Alexi’s feet, he reached behind his back and pulled out a long serrated knife. Kotari saw, and winked at him, indicating the goblin holding her gun with a flick of her wrist. Alexi smiled, and threw his knife. It spun with deadly accuracy, hissing through the air until it embedded itself into the goblins throat. As the goblin dropped the gun, Kotari dove to the ground as Alexi pulled out the submachine gun hanging on his waist and began shooting into the goblins’ midst. The lead Goblin howled and began to retreat. Goblins usually don’t count on their quarry being armed. He had thought his numbers would succeed. But not even fifty Goblins could stand up to a fully fledged bounty hunter in good condition, which Alexi was most definitely. Kotari got a hand on her gun and began mowing down the retreating Goblins. The bullets shot out of her gun were bright orange, and flew out at a surprising rate. She felled at least fifteen of the thirty Goblins that attacked them. Only five Goblins, including the leader, managed to escape. Kotari laughed and shot a few bullets into the air. She had a huge smile on her face. Alexi rubbed his head. One of the Goblins slings had hit him on the back of the head with a rock, and he could feel the bump. He pulled his knife out of the poor Goblins throat, cleaned it off, and replaced his guns. “Let’s keep moving,” he said quietly. Kotari nodded in agreement, still smiling. … The duo took about a week to reach the next City, a City known as Wolfkrone. The Gateway was much better manned than the last one. Alexi detected three snipers in various locations nearby the Gateway, and about ten to fifteen men were guarding the Gate itself. Alexi showed a small token indicating his status as a professional bounty hunter, and when the guards found that Kotari was travelling with him, they let them both through without much trouble. It was just about sunrise when they finally entered the City. Wolfkrone was an old City, and was one of the largest five Cities in the world, smaller than Undertown and Demen, but larger than all other Cities. The buildings in Wolfkrone were made of the same rusted metal as the buildings in Haven, but they were much, much larger and there were a lot more of them. People bustled about in the streets, with vendors setting up small booths with the wares for the day. But if you took a glance into the back alleys, you would see offensive graffiti, a few blood spatters on the walls, and a few gangs sulking about. “Let's just get some provisions, and get out of this place.” Kotari said quickly, grasping Alexis arm. “We can’t afford to get separated. Stick with me.” Alexi huffed. “Kotari, I know this City. I grew up here, and I’ve done more than a few jobs here. I reckon I know at least as much as you do, if not more.” Kotari smiled underneath her hood. “Really? Well then, lead me to the crime boss known as Quarz. He usually stocks me up.” Alexi gave a quick sigh in his mind. He was quite thankful that Kotari had chosen the crime boss that not only had given Alexi the most jobs; he had taught Alexi how to shoot a gun at a young age. Any other of the crime bosses in the area would have been an issue. “No problem. Just stick with me, and be quiet. I dunno how you contact Quarz, but if it’s anything like the way I do, you know that the wrong person speaking at the wrong time is fatal,” Alexi said, eyes darting around through the crowd until they landed on an individual leaning against the wall of an abandoned building. This figure wore a fedora, a brown leather duster, and had black combat boots on. A small trail of smoke rose up from the cigarette in his mouth. Alexi approached this figure after warning Kotari to trail about two yards behind him. “Fancy seeing you here,” Alexi muttered as he leaned on the wall next to the figure. “This is my post. Haven’t seen you in a while, bounty hunter,” the figure said, taking a puff on his cigarette. “I’ve been out and about. Light me up, will you?” Alexi asked. The figure passed him a cigarette, which Alexi lit and took a long breath. “Listen, Weston, I need to see the boss.” Weston didn’t make any sign that he heard Alexi. After about five minutes, he left, letting a piece of paper flutter to the ground. Alexi dropped a coin at almost the same moment, and as he bent over to pick up the coin, he grabbed the paper as well. “What was that all about? How is that a good way to find Quarz?” Kotari hissed to Alexi as he walked back. “Keep your voice down! And I know just where to find him now.” Alexi smiled, waving the piece of paper. Kotari read the note. It said: Quarz will be at the Orc Quarry at exactly three hours after noon. If you do not arrive within ten minutes of that time, we will send people out to find you. If you do not show up in another ten minutes and our people cannot find you, we will assume you were apprehended. If our people find you, give them an explanation for why you have not arrived yet. If the explanation is satisfactory, we will schedule a second chance. If it isn’t…you know what happens. It was signed with a very fancy W at the bottom. Kotari stared at the piece of paper. “Things have changed since I’ve last been to Wolfkrone,” she mused quietly. “Also, that’s a rather elaborate note isn’t it? I didn’t see the guy write anything,” she asked Alexi. “Weston is a very talented street magician. He writes under his coat. There’s a reason he’s the guy who arranges the meetings.” They passed the day with Alexi giving Kotari a rundown on the new way to approach Quarz. Kotari confessed that she hadn’t been to Wolfkrone for well over five years, and the times had changed. “Quarz has grown a little paranoid after he was nearly captured a few years ago. He changes where he lives about three or four times a week, and the only people who know those locations are Weston and his other lieutenants,” Alexi told Kotari as they sat against a wall in one of the back alleys. Kotari asked a multitude of questions, most of which Alexi answered. The only ones he didn’t answer were the ones he didn’t know the answer to. “Just don’t say a word to the guy. Let me do the talking. Once I’ve introduced you properly, and explained to Quarz what we need, then you can talk to the guy.” Three hours after noon, Alexi was seated at the bar in the Orcs Quarry, one of the shadier inns in Wolfkrone. He sat drinking a mug of ale when he felt a hand on his back and someone whispered in his ear: “Corner table. Black cape. White pin on his wrist.” When Alexi turned, he saw Weston making his way out of the inn, his hat casting shadows over his face. Alexi slowly got up and casually made his way to the corner table, where a gentleman wearing a black cape, leather armor, and a white pin of a dragon on his wrist sat. He sat down across from the gentleman, leaving his ale and a few silver pieces on the counter. “You need a job?” the gentleman said. His voice was very deep, and had a hint of a strange double timbre to it. “While I would normally love to say yes, what I need now is supplies. Myself and a companion are travelling to Sanctuary, and from there I’m not sure. We’re running low. I was hoping you would be able to give us a hand.” “Depends on the companion, and on what you need.” Alexi grimaced slightly. He sat up and whistled three notes. Kotari, still with her cloak, got up from across the room and slowly made her way over to Alexi and the man whom she supposed was Quarz. “You whistled?” she whispered to Alexi. Alexi nodded quickly before turning to Quarz. “This is my companion. She goes by Kotari.” Alexi made a motion towards Kotaris hood. Kotari removed her hood and looked at Quarz. As the figure started slightly, Kotari smiled. “Hello Uncle,” she said, a grin wide on her face. Alexi was quite shocked. Not only was he unaware of Quarz having any relatives, much less a niece, he was surprised at how much sense it made that Kotari was the niece of a crime boss. Alexi studied his memories of living with Quarz until he was fifteen, trying to remember seeing Kotari. “Hello niece. It’s good to see you.” Quarz got up and embraced Kotari, and when he sat down he held his hand out. “Give it back,” he said in a lighter tone than before. Kotari laughed a little and flipped a gold piece to Quarz. “You’ve gotten sloppy Kotari. Used to be you could lift my entire pouch of gold off my person and I would never notice,” Quarz said, laughing a little too. Alexi was still trying to process this. “Quarz…since when do you have a niece?” Alexi asked, his voice faltering slightly. Quarz leaned back in his seat. “I had a brother who lived in Undertown. He and his wife were having issues with the local authorities, so they turned Kotari over to me when she was three. Unfortunately, they failed to resolve their problems, and were killed. So I raised Kotari.” Alexi looked at Kotari. “So are you a bounty hunter? Or something else?” Kotari smiled. “Much more than a bounty hunter. I’m a contract killer. Best in the business. You might have heard of me actually. I got a reputation as ‘The Brown Recluse’ because of my brown cloak.” Alexi leaned back in his seat, silent with shock. It turned out he actually had heard of The Brown Recluse, but only in hushed whispers in the seediest of taverns. He was supposedly the best assassin in the world, and no job was too big for him. Trying to make light of the situation, he turned to Quarz and said, “I suppose it’ll be no trouble to get us situated with supplies?” Quarz got serious again. “Well, that still depends on what you need.” While Alexi proceeded to lay out a list of food, ammunition, and other assorted items, Kotari walked up to the bar area. “What’ll you have,” the bartender asked in a tired voice. The bartender was a middle-aged man, probably in his mid-fifties, late forties. He had a handlebar mustache, and was heavily built. “Whatever’s good,” Kotari said. She had replaced her hood, and she smiled again at the slight look of surprise on the bartenders face as he heard a girl’s voice. That never gets old. Kotari thought gleefully. The bartender disappeared below the counter as he fished out a bottle of some alcoholic drink, and poured Kotari a drink. “May I ask who I’m serving?” the bartender asked, sounding genuinely curious. Feeling reckless, Kotari said, “The Brown Recluse.” The bartender almost fell over. Then he composed himself. “Alright, don’t tell me then,” he huffed as he walked over to serve someone else. As he left, Kotari shifted her shoulders so her one-of-a-kind gun was in view. The bartender’s eyes caught it, and he went white as a ghost. Kotari laughed silently. Now he’ll come apologize. She thought. The bartender slowly made his way back to Kotari and muttered, “My greatest apologies. I thought the Brown Recluse was male. This drink is on the house.” The bartender then sidled off. … Back over at the corner table, Alexi had hashed out the details of the supplies with Quarz. He was to pick up a box of supplies at this very same bar this time tomorrow. The bartender on duty then would be someone working for Quarz, and Alexi simply had to show him a piece of paper that Quarz handed to him. Alexi walked up to the counter and pulled Kotari away. “Thank you Uncle,” Kotari said quietly to Quarz as Alexi led her out of the Orcs Quarry. Alexi said nothing, as was the usual etiquette. Kotari was not ‘usual’ in any sense of the word though. “Any other big secrets of yours you want to tell me?” Alexi asked Kotari, only being half sarcastic. Kotari pondered on that one for a minute before saying: “One guy once tried to hire the Brown Recluse through Quarz to kill what he said was a ‘dangerous creature’ roaming his property. The ‘creature’ was a pig. Does that count?” Kotari could barely contain giggles at the last part. Alexi punched her shoulder good-naturedly. “No, it doesn’t. It’s funny, but it doesn’t count.” The two unlikely companions found a suitable inn for the night, and got rooms. They spent the rest of the day with Alexi showing Kotari around the newer areas of Wolfkrone. … Come to me…free me…. A voice, echoing through the Maze of the Dead, neither male nor female. Come…. Laced with honey, beneath it lays a poison. Free me…come to me….those beneath the tunnels. … The road to Sanctuary is long and hard. The duo was two days away from Sanctuary when hardship struck. In the night, their supplies had been raided, their water gone, and most of the food spoiled. Alexi felt like collapsing when he saw the situation. “We can still make it. If we hard march, we can make Sanctuary by nightfall,” Alexi said stoically, not daring to voice the concern in his head. If we get attacked, that’s a totally different story. Kotari made a small grunt of agreement, and slung her gun on her back. She began walking when Alexi was done rolling up the tent. They had long left the pleasant humidity and coolness of the Haven area, and now they were in pure desert, the beating sun pulsing heat down on the back of their necks. Sand blew around in inconvenient ways, getting into eyes and firing mechanisms. Alexi and Kotari both had to make multiple stops to shake sand out of their guns. “They stole most of my ammo too. I’ve got about ten bullets left in my pistol, and one and a half clips for the submachine gun,” Alexi said sourly. Kotari made a wan smile. “This sun is a pain, but on the plus side, I have a nearly infinite supply of ammunition.” Alexi made a weak punch at her shoulder. They were extremely hungry, thirsty, and tired. Sand had worked its way into their clothes, and they felt dry. Due to the many stops they were forced to make, nightfall came before they could get to Sanctuary. They did not dare to keep travelling during the night, although the cold of the night felt good against their sun burnt skin. Dangerous things roamed the night, including Wraiths, Ghouls, and Oni. “Maybe we’ll meet a Kitsune and get a wish,” Alexi joked to Kotari weakly as they settled down. Kotari smiled again. “Maybe. And then we’ll wish to be at Sanctuary, and then regret it for the rest of our lives.” Alexi barely got a small laugh out before his head hit the ground and he fell asleep. … Another grueling day of travel. Alexi and Kotari were about five miles away from Sanctuary when they saw a plume of smoke rise up into the sky in the shape of a mushroom. Alexi saw, and broke into a run, no longer caring about the ache in his limbs or the sand in his pants. Kotari followed suit, readying her gun. They reached the outskirts of the city, and saw a mass of destruction. The whole city had been devastated with force similar to a bomb. A group of Ghasts was swarming a house near the edge, and screams came from inside. Alexi reacted, and smashed back-first through a first-floor window, tearing through the Ghasts with his submachine gun. A middle-aged woman was leaning against a table, white as a ghost with fear. A Ghoul leaned over hear, jaws slavering. Ghouls and Ghasts are both undead creatures, but Ghouls are far more powerful, and usually the leader of a group of Ghasts. Alexi leveled his pistol at the head of the Ghoul, but then heard a hissing from behind him, and a dread cold crept up his neck. He knew this feeling, the dreaded Touch of the Wraith. If a Ghoul is worth fifty Ghasts, a Wraith is worth a hundred Ghouls. Wraiths are the kings of the monsters, alive and undead alike. None alive could control the Wraiths except the Shadows of old, legendary warriors with powers to control the undead. Alexi whipped around and pointed his pistol at the Wraith. Wraiths have almost no form except their faces, torsos, and long skeletal arms emerging from a tattered, shadowy black silk cloak, which obscured the face as well. They had no substance below the waist, and only a shadowy substance allowed them to fly and hover. “Fooooolish Boooy,” the Wraith hissed, elongating the o’s. “You interfere in things that are beyond your comprehension.” A Wraiths voice is known as the Whisper of Death, for the Wraiths only speak to those they are about to kill, or to those they acknowledge as more powerful than them, which is almost none. Alexi fought the fear rising through his body, shoving down with a bout of recklessness. “I can comprehend enough to see the start of the second Shadow War.” Alexi gritted his teeth. Wraiths did not like mention of the Shadow War, the great war between the Wraiths who led a legendary army of undead against Arasque centuries ago, when the planet still flourished. The Wraith visibly flinched. “This Shadow War will abolish humanity forever! Vil, the Master of the Maze, will lead us to victory!” “Vil?” Alexi asked, puzzled. “He is the great Primordial, a Sand Wurm of immense power. He lies in the Maze of the Dead, where he has lied for centuries. We gather sacrifices and destroy cities so that he may be powerful enough to break free. He gave the order to attack.” The Wraith gloated, enjoying this. “Yeah, well, he’s gonna have to go through me first,” Alexi said, standing still as a statue. The Wraith smiled, and reached a decaying, skeletal arm towards Alexis face, intent on sucking out his soul. Then, a hole was torn in the middle of his head by a bolt of bright orange. The Wraith howled as smoke came from out the hole. As it turned around to face this new threat, three more bolts tore through its body, and the wraith disappeared with a screech in a ball of fire. Kotari leapt down from a roof about fifty feet away. She ran over to Alexi, making sure he was alright. “There’s a reason I’m the most wanted contract killer in Arasque.” She said, the corners of her mouth lifting ever so slightly. Alexi began to tell Kotari of the Master of the Maze, of the Primordial. And how the second Shadow War was brewing. [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren✧ Posted March 15, 2013 Report Share Posted March 15, 2013 Very interesting story here. Excuse my ignorance, but what is a One-Shot? Anyway on to the story. I definitely like the fact that we have a girl as what seems to be the main, or at least one of the main, protagonists. I was surprised to find guns and bombs, instead of arrows and swords, but totally works for me. The story is very fast paced..almost too much so. We skip from one thing to another with nearly no transition. That really is my only problem with it thus far...well that and the lack of detail. I am assuming that I will learn more about this world as time goes on, so I am not going to weigh to heavily here. I feel like there hasn't been much character development though. It seems you are jumping from one thing to the next without giving much substance to your characters. I was pleased when we found out Quars was her uncle, but then not much else was said. He still treated her pretty much as if she were just another one of his employees. Overall it was a nice story and it makes great groundwork for you to build on, hoping that you will tune it up a bit. Good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Moonflowyr Posted March 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2013 It's a short(ish) story with a rather interesting plot, so the jumping is an aspect of the shortness. But thank you for the review! The next part will be up in about a week or so I hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iam Isthename Posted March 15, 2013 Report Share Posted March 15, 2013 Wow, a one-shot with three parts? that's kinda awkward... I'd started reading it and so far the pacing is good and the story is a top-notch work. I'm just waiting for the second part to finish my review :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren✧ Posted March 15, 2013 Report Share Posted March 15, 2013 It's a short(ish) story with a rather interesting plot, so the jumping is an aspect of the shortness. But thank you for the review! The next part will be up in about a week or so I hope. Alright, well then that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Moonflowyr Posted March 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2013 Bumpity Bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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