Daemonlord Futen

[~Shin~]

Trying to shape up for the contest sub-forum. :P

Daemonlord Futen

LV5 - WIND - Fiend - Synchro

2300 / 500

"Your opponent's monster cannot target this card for an attack if they control another monster with lower ATK that has not attacked this turn. If this card is targeted for an attack: It gains 200 ATK until the End Phase. During either player's turn, if your Life Points are lower than the combined ATK of all monsters your opponent controls: You can send this face-up card to the Graveyard; this turn, your opponent cannot conduct their Battle Phase."

  

I think this is the first of my Yugico cards to be posted. (yay~)

 

 

C&C, please.

[Ren✧]

Well I have quite a few issues with this card. The first being that it is a Level 5 synchro, meaning you have to compete with Librarian, Catastor, and their lesser used sister Magical Android. This puts you against steep competition that is hard to overcome without creating a broken card. I will inform you that you have not created a broken card, but instead made one that is underwhelming. 

 

 

During either player's turn, if the total ATK of all monsters your opponent controls is higher than your Life Points: You can send this face-up card to the Graveyard, this turn, you opponent cannot conduct their Battle Phase.

 

I am assuming it is just for this turn, so you are able to stall by getting rid of what is presumably your highest ATK monster on the field. This effect is situational, but also gets rid of the monster that I summoned instead of summoning Librarian or Catastor who are better choices. If it is not for only one turn, well then congrats on making a broken card.

 

 

If this card attack, it loses 200 ATK. If this card is attacked, it gains 200 ATK until the End Phase.

 The first effect here is where you really lost me. This card already has pretty low ATK points when compared to its competition, so making it lose 200 when it attacks sucks and the fact that it is permanent is worse. The second effect would be fine, if the first effect wasn't around.

 

I think you have an interesting idea here, but you went about it wrong. 

 

I do like the aesthetics of the card though, the name and picture are nice. :D

[~Shin~]

Changes made:

- The second effect was removed.

- The last effect was edited. <- Might seem too much on this card, but I just want the opponent to use one of the 16 and 1 ways to pop this card.

[quote=](...)it is a Level 5 synchro, (....) .This puts you against steep competition that is hard to overcome without creating a broken card.[/quote]

This is the challeng here; instead of makeing a broken LV5, make a unique LV5. I think that can be achieved by making a defensive one. Though I fail the first attempt.

[quote=]I am assuming it is just for this turn[/quote]

It is, maybe the wording is off...

[quote=]so you are able to stall by getting rid of what is presumably your highest ATK monster on the field. This effect is situational, but also gets rid of the monster that I summoned instead of summoning Librarian or Catastor who are better choices.[/quote]

This effect is the "trademark" here, I will try and make it worth it.

[quote=]The first effect here is where you really lost me. This card already has pretty low ATK points when compared to its competition, so making it lose 200 when it attacks sucks and the fact that it is permanent is worse. The second effect would be fine, if the first effect wasn't around.[quote]

I want the first effect to shine over these effects, so they will always be "average".

Thank you.

[newhat]

oh lawd that parsing

 

Since a monster with low ATK would probably die to this card, and this card's effect would no longer apply when it left the field, I think maybe this change would work:

 

"Your opponent's monster cannot target this card for an attack if they control another monster with lower ATK that has not attacked this turn. If this card is targeted for an attack: It gains 200 ATK until the End Phase. During either player's turn, if your Life Points are lower than the combined ATK of all monsters your opponent controls: You can send this face-up card to the Graveyard; this turn, your opponent cannot conduct their Battle Phase."

[~Shin~]

oh lawd that parsing

 

Since a monster with low ATK would probably die to this card, and this card's effect would no longer apply when it left the field, I think maybe this change would work:

 

"Your opponent's monster cannot target this card for an attack if they control another monster with lower ATK that has not attacked this turn. If this card is targeted for an attack: It gains 200 ATK until the End Phase. During either player's turn, if your Life Points are lower than the combined ATK of all monsters your opponent controls: You can send this face-up card to the Graveyard; this turn, your opponent cannot conduct their Battle Phase."

 

GOD.

Thank you, newhat. I kept looking up cards to match this to and stuff. Why didn't I just write what was in my head...