Demon Soldier

[Mastee157]

My first try with a card was realy bad. Let's try with something easier?

The Demon Soldier can't be destroyed by battle. If this card attacks the opponent directly: Choose a Fiend Monster from your deck: Put the target on top of it.

[Mastee157]

bumpy bump

[PrimeAceJohn]

This needs to be changed fast before a moderator moves it to 'Any Other Cards."

 

In Yugioh, there is NO such thing as a monster with two types UNLESS states so in the effect, of course. So this card can either be a Fiend or a Warrior, not both.

 

On the other hand, the card has very bad OCG (Official Card Grammar). It should be: "This card cannot be destroyed by battle except by a Warrior-Type monster your opponent controls. This card can only attack face-up Warrior-Type monsters your opponent's control."

 

If you want the effect where it includes that it can be treated also as Warrior-Type monster, this is it: "While face-up on the field, in your hand, Deck, or Graveyard: This card can also be treated as a Warrior-Type monster. This card cannot be destroyed by battle except by a Warrior-Type monster your opponent controls. This card can only attack face-up Warrior-Type monsters your opponent's control."

 

 

Now for the actual card opinion:

 

This is honestly a horrible card. It's stats are horrible. It's ATK and DEF are so low, and its effect is outclassed by cards like Spirit Reaper or Marshmallon. Because Marshmallon and Reaper can attack ANY monster and cannot be destroyed by battle from ANY of your opponent's monsters. 

 

To begin with, this card can most likely do nothing to your opponent with it's ATK and on top of that, it can only attack Warrior monster. What if your versing meta decks like Dragon Rulers which is full of Dragons, Prophecies which are full of Spellcasters, Mermails, Bujins, Fire Fist, etc. 

 

My effect recommendation is to COMPLETELY take out "This card can only be attacked by Warrior-Type monsters" and "This card can only attack face-up Warrior-Type monsters your opponent controls." This makes the card utterly horrible. eplace all that Warrior stuff in the effect with "This card cannot be destroyed by battle." So it makes it much better. Then, you should add more to the effect so it isn't outclassed by Marshmallon and Spirit Reaper. Marshmallon, when attacked while set, brings down your opponent's Life Points by 1000. Spirit Reaper, when it attacks directly, makes your opponent discard one. 

 

I'm not perfect in OCG, but I consider myself to be okay. If you really need OCG help and questions, I would go as Zazubat. He's the OCG wizard.

 

Also, sorry if I came out harsh like this. You're new and I understand and I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything, I'm trying to help out so you can become a better card maker like how the people on YCM helped me when I began. 

[Mastee157]

 

The Demon Soldier can't be destroyed by battle. If this card attacks the opponent directly: Choose a Fiend Monster from your deck: Put the target on top of it.

 

Is this any better?

[PrimeAceJohn]

Much much better. The new effect helps Fiend-based deck. It gets Tour Guide easier and much more.

 

I would decrease the ATK to 1500 because 1700 seems like too much especially for a level 3.

 

Though the OCG is still bad. 

 

OCG correction: This card cannot be destroyed by battle. If this card attacks the opponent directly, target 1 Fiend-Type monster in your Deck: Place it to the top of your Deck.

 

 

Also, since you are new, I would check these links out before you start card making again. They're made by great card makers:

 

OCG Guide: http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/301087-ocg-thread-common-terms-and-phrases-other-useful-tips/

 

How to make great cards: http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/304872-a-guide-to-making-cards/

 

How to prevent yourself from embarrassing yourself on Realist Cards Section (RC): http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/304045-guide-to-the-realistic-cards-single-cards-section/