KLT990 Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 My very first original Yu-Gi-Oh! Card! :) Effect: Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. Required to banish 5 Fire Kings in order to be summoned. This monster cannot be targeted by spell or trap cards. You can equip Fire Kings to this card. This card gains 200 ATK and DEF for each Fire King you equip to this card. You can send one equip card to the graveyard to negate any attack. During each of your standby phases, your opponent gets inflicted 100 life points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StealthyTyranitar Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 I don't know a lot about OCG, but I know the card's is off. For example, instead of saying fire kings, say "Fire King" Card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KLT990 Posted November 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 I don't know a lot about OCG, but I know the card's is off. For example, instead of saying fire kings, say "Fire King" Card. Okay thanks for tip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goddamnit names are a pain Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 You're off to a good start by posting the lore of your card. That's always a help. The fixes would look like this: Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. Must first be Special Summoned by (specify what you do to them) 3 (5 is a little high) "Fire Kings" (and cannot be summoned in other ways). This monster cannot be targeted by Spell or Trap cards. Once per turn, you can equip any number of "Fire King" monsters to this card. This card gains 200 ATK and DEF for each card equipped by this effect. When an opponent's monster declares and attack: you can send one "Fire KIng" card that is equipped to this card to the graveyard, and if you do: Negate the attack. During each of your Standby Phases, inflict 500 (seems better) damage to your opponent's lifepoints. My OCG isn't that good, but it is a start. Seems kind of bland, yet fitting. Then again, most Fire Kings are. A Jester seems unfitting to be a King. Fire Kings usually have Beast Warriors with a different appearance than that of your monster. Not bad for your first card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KLT990 Posted November 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 You're off to a good start by posting the lore of your card. That's always a help. The fixes would look like this: Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. Must first be Special Summoned by (specify what you do to them) 3 (5 is a little high) "Fire Kings" (and cannot be summoned in other ways). This monster cannot be targeted by Spell or Trap cards. Once per turn, you can equip any number of "Fire King" monsters to this card. This card gains 200 ATK and DEF for each card equipped by this effect. When an opponent's monster declares and attack: you can send one "Fire KIng" card that is equipped to this card to the graveyard, and if you do: Negate the attack. During each of your Standby Phases, inflict 500 (seems better) damage to your opponent's lifepoints. My OCG isn't that good, but it is a start. Seems kind of bland, yet fitting. Then again, most Fire Kings are. A Jester seems unfitting to be a King. Fire Kings usually have Beast Warriors with a different appearance than that of your monster. Not bad for your first card. Thanks ima make another card. Almost done with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StealthyTyranitar Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 Another tip, when choosing images, try to find one that has a background. Deviantart is my favorite site for card images. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loup-Garou Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 The OCG would be "Fire King" cards. or "Fire King" monsters. And if you want it to run in there change it to destroy 2 of them so it fits with the archetype and isn't too OP. That's just my opinion, take it how you will. Oh, ad they are Fire King Avatars if you want it to mesh with the deck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trebuchet MS Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 Let me get to work on this... "Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Required to Must be Special Summoned (from your hand) by banishing 5 "Fire King" monsters in order to be summoned (from where?) and cannot be Summoned by other ways. This monster cannot be targeted by spell or trap cards. You can equip "Fire King" monsters (from where?) to this card. This card gains 200 ATK and DEF for each Fire King you equip to this card equipped this way. When any player's monster declares an attack: You can send one Equip Card you control to the Graveyard; to negate any the attack. During each of your Standby Phase: Inflict 100 damage to your opponent gets inflicted 100 life points." Several gaps in information on where you are supposed to banish or equip Fire King monsters from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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