Number 59: Dark Hole Dragon

[TutoredShrimp]

This is my first custom card. CnC is appreciated.
 

 
Card Effect:
2 Level 8 DARK Dragon-Type Monsters
Once per Duel, if this card is in Attack Position: You can detach 2 Xyz Materials from this card; destroy all cards on the field, except this one, then you take damage equal to this half card's original ATK, then its ATK becomes 1000 until your opponent's next End Phase. If this card's current ATK is 4000: You can Tribute this card to target the Xyz Material Monsters used to Xyz summon this card in your Graveyard , and if you do; Special Summon them and make their ATK and DEF become 0. All "Number 59: Dark Hole Dragon"s you control cannot attack the turn you activate any of this card's effects.

Thanks for the help, the card should be a bit easier to understand.

 

P.S. I might make a CXyz for this card later, if I feel like it.

[Trebuchet MS]

 

Once per Duel, if this card is in Attack Position: You can detach 2 Xyz Materials from this card; destroy all cards on the field, except this one, then you take damage equal to this half card's original ATK, then halved and its ATK becomes 0 until your opponent's next End Phase. If this card's current ATK is has 4000 ATK: You can Tribute this card to target the Xyz Material Monsters used to Xyz summon this card in  your Graveyard , and if you do; Special Summon them and make their ATK and DEF become 0. This card All "Nubmer 59: Dark Hole Dragon"s you control cannot attack the turn you activate this effect.

Adjusted first sentence so that you will have to take nonzero damage (except if an external effect cut it to 0 beforehand).

 

Last sentence is confusing - since you've already Tributed the card, it can't attack. I've tweaked it so that in the off chance you have another copy via a revival effect or if you Xyz Summoned a second copy it won't be able to attack.

 

Remember - PSCT format is activation condition : costs and targets ; effect resolution.

[TutoredShrimp]

Adjusted first sentence so that you will have to take nonzero damage (except if an external effect cut it to 0 beforehand).

 

Last sentence is confusing - since you've already Tributed the card, it can't attack. I've tweaked it so that in the off chance you have another copy via a revival effect or if you Xyz Summoned a second copy it won't be able to attack.

 

Remember - PSCT format is activation condition : costs and targets ; effect resolution.

Thanks for that, I'll probably fix this later. The last effect needs to be fixed too, as I had worded it wrong.

[TutoredShrimp]

Adjusted first sentence so that you will have to take nonzero damage (except if an external effect cut it to 0 beforehand).
 
Last sentence is confusing - since you've already Tributed the card, it can't attack. I've tweaked it so that in the off chance you have another copy via a revival effect or if you Xyz Summoned a second copy it won't be able to attack.
 
Remember - PSCT format is activation condition : costs and targets ; effect resolution.

And the reason that this card now goes down to only 1000 ATK is because the second effect was already a bit tough to pull off so this way it MIGHT stay on the field 

[TutoredShrimp]

Bump.