Relegated Hand

[ImmortalX999]

This card is not the final product, I'm looking for some fixes on the wording of this card.

 

"Relegated Hand"

Effect: This card can be activated during either player's turn, you may look for up to 2 cards in your Deck and banish them. During your Draw Phase, if the player dislikes the card that he/she drew, the player may take only one of the two banished cards and add it to their Hand and banish the card they drew. This can only happen once per turn and the effect can only be used twice for the two cards that were banished by this effect. "Relegated Hand" can only be used once per Duel (not its effect) and if the player uses this card's effect, he/she cannot conduct their Battle Phase.

 

I'm looking for a better word than "dislikes" that would be more realistic and I might need help shortening this text.

 

And if anyone could help that would be great, so comment and thanks!!

 

[Dokutah]

"Relegated Hand"

Effect: This card can be activated during either player's turn, you may look for up to 2 cards in your Deck and banish them. During your Draw Phase, if the player dislikes the card that he/she drew, the player may take only one of the two banished cards and add it to their Hand and banish the card they drew. This can only happen once per turn and the effect can only be used twice for the two cards that were banished by this effect. "Relegated Hand" can only be used once per Duel (not its effect) and if the player uses this card's effect, he/she cannot conduct their Battle Phase.

 

I'm looking for a better word than "dislikes" that would be more realistic and I might need help shortening this text.

 

And if anyone could help that would be great, so comment and thanks!!

 there no such thing as dislike so here's the list of fix :

1) the mechanic: make it a quick-play spell

2)the effect: "Active by banish 2 cards from your deck. During your draw phase, after you draw; add 1 of the cards banished for activating this card, if you do banish the card that you draw and you cannot conduct your battle phase this turn. you can only active "Relegated Hand" once per duel

 

yes you read that right the fixed effect is much more shorter. and....this card is potentially over-power

 

why? its a gold sarcophagus-like card that add 2 free advantage without delay back-draw (secure 2 out of 5 exodia piece,

although you lost your battle phase, the loss is not that bad (only postponed your OTK, not stopping you from set it up)

[Trebuchet MS]

The intended effects seem to better fit a Continuous Trap, and so any further text adjustments assume a Continuous Trap.
 

This card can be activated during either player's turn, you may look for When this card is activated: Banish up to 2 cards in from your Deck and banish them. During your Draw Phase: You can target 1 of your cards banished by this card's effects; if the player dislikes the card that he/she drew, the player may take only one of the two banished cards and add it to their Hand and banish 1 of the cards they you drew for your normal draw, then add that target to your hand. This can only happen once per turn and the effect can only be used twice for the two cards that were banished by this effect. "Relegated Hand" can only be used once per Duel (not its effect) and if the player uses this card's effect, he/she You cannot conduct their your Battle Phase the turn you activate this effect. You can only activate 1 "Relegated Hand" per Duel.

It's rare to have cards that create lingering effects that start Chains - actually, no lingering effects are supposed to start Chains at all. This is why I'm wanting this card to be a Continuous Trap -

1. it's a lot more easier to track such effects coming from a continuous S/T
2. making it a Trap completely voids the necessity for the "activate during either player's turn" sentence
3. having it be a continuous S/T means that while you do have the ever-powerful ability to displace cards in your hand for stuff you've pulled out on activation, your opponent can clean this card off the field and render the cards you banished lost (almost) forever.

Also, the "one of the cards you drew for your normal draw" phrase is to account for anything that modifies the normal draw. This also means that the number of times you can use the effect per turn is limited by the number of cards you've drawn for the normal draw.

[ImmortalX999]

Ok, the new card as suggested by the both of you and I do believe it would be better as a continuous trap

 

 

I understand that this effect is similar to gold sarcophagus, yet the intended effect is for either player's first turn that they draw since the rules have changed and if one cannot even set up properly after the first or second turn. This card is supposed to assist in setting up the player so at least they aren't trying to stall to get their good cards and it makes the game more interesting because it gives more reason to use this in a deck and also on the other hand to try and destroy it when it activates.

If the card is fine the way it is and it is not op then that's ok, but if not maybe adding  more text to restrict effect or use such as "banish the cards face-down" or "show the cards to your Opponent before banishing" or something like that.