Void-Eyes Black-Hole Dragon

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

Inspired by Draconus297's effect for this card name I provided in the "create a card game"

 

1 DARK Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters

When Synchro Summoned, other cards and effects cannot be activated.  When this card is Synchro Summoned: You can place 1 Gravity Counter" on any number of monsters your opponent controls, up to the number of non-Tuner monsters used as Synchro Materials for the Synchro Summon of this card.  While there are 4 or more Gravity Counters on the field, this card cannot be destroyed by your opponent's card effects.  During each of your End Phases: Place 1 Gravity Counter on all face-up monsters your opponent controls and destroy all Set monsters.  Monsters lose 100 ATK x their Level for each Gravity Counter on them.  Monsters with 2 or more Gravity Counters on them cannot activate their effects.  When this card leaves the field: Remove all Gravity Counters on the field and activate 1 of these effects:

- Gain 300 Life Points for each Gravity Counter removed.

- Inflict 200 damage to your opponent for each Gravity Counter removed.  

[Manpole]

Interesting card. The 3+ counter effect would rarely, if ever, see use. But the stackable burden of the mighty effect is very powerful. I am only going to say its OP now because it also destroys set monsters on your End Phase, without that it would just be a very powerful card. 

[LeLukeX]

When comparing cards I like to use cards with similar using conditions to compare it to.  
1 DARK Tuner.... Ewwww D:  
The destruction of Set Cards is definitely the most annoying effect... yet... Your opponent (and you for that matter) only sets monsters with powerful FLIP, FLIP-Like, Floater, or out of Desperation.  

Which means, the floater still pays for itself, and card effects that are good when the opponent is already cornered is overkill and unnecessary (since you're probably already going to win).  I mean sure it can kill FLIP effects, but the opponent just won't set them, so at best this card prevents sets of Non-Floaters on your opponent's part.  

3 Gravity counters... Which instantly translates "3 of your Turns"... 3 of YOUR End Phases is an ETERNITY in Yugioh.  He's bound to get Popp'd, Honor Ark'd, Compuls'd, D-Prison'd (assuming you attack with him), or whatever in 3 turns... And if the monster who has 3 Counters has failed to get something done with 2 previous turns in which activating it's effect was no restricted, it's effect is probably useless and not worth stopping anyways.  

 

The ATK reduction starts off at 100, then next turn 200... Then Next turn... HOLD... I'm stopping right there, cuz if he lives for that long WOW... And if Yahweh is on your side today and he lives the 3rd turn.. 300...  Which is finally when it seems to start kicking and and being felt...  And by then the effect can't be activated so that's kind of overshadowed.  

200 LP gain or 300 LP infliction.  That makes little sense.  Cards that burn are generally ALWAYS considered more powerful than cards that heal.  Look up Poison of the Old Man.  Burn 800 or Gain 1200.  Dian Keto, Instant Gain 1k.  All burn cards above 1k are either subject to combos (Bad Reaction + Gift Card), or have Luck Factors (The Paths of Desitny).  Cards that deal 1K have drawbacks or restrictions (Meteor of Destruction and Tremendous Fire)... So it makes little sense to make the burn higher.  That being said, almost any player would always, unless absolutely needed (such as not enough LP to survive next ATK, or wants more LP for something like Solemn Warning being below 2K LP) choose to burn.  That being said, the burn is probably pretty decent.  Assuming the opponent has 3-4 monsters, you're guaranteed 900-1200 Burn push comes to shove.  

I think his effect needs to be AMP'd b/c as of now, its not nearly as good as it's counterpart Beelze. Actually, I'd prefer to use Hot Red Dragon Archfiend and Stardust Dragon over him, that's something since they don't need a DARK Tuner.  Most Decks that can make Synchro 8s usually only have 2-3, so this guy wouldn't make the cut.

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

Beefed up effect a good deal.

[LeLukeX]

When Synchro Summoned, other cards and effects cannot be activated [1].  When this card is Synchro Summoned: You can place target any number of monsters your opponent controls, equal to the number of non-Tuner monsters used as this card's Synchro Materials; place 1 Gravity Counter on those targets [2].  While there are 4 or more Gravity Counters on the field, this card cannot be destroyed by your opponent's card effects [3].  During each of your End Phases: Place 1 Gravity Counter on all face-up monsters your opponent controls and destroy all Set monsters.  Monsters lose 100 ATK for each Gravity Counter on it [4].  Monsters with 2 or more Gravity Counters on them cannot activate their effects.  When this card leaves the field: Remove all Gravity Counters on the field and activate 1 of these effects [5].
- Gain 300 LP for each Gravity Counter removed.

- Inflict 200 damage to your opponent for each Gravity Counter removed.  

 

[1]: You simply used incorrect wording.

Source(s): Star Eater, Obelisk the Tormentor, and Slifer the Sky Dragon.

[2]: Pretty sure you wanted this effect to target, hmmm... Oh well.  I made it target. 

Source(s): Shooting Quasar Dragon and Number 79: Battlin' Boxer Nova Ceasar

[3]: Cards that revolve around having a certain card face-up on the field is always listed first

Source(s): Number 106: Giant Hand and Number 64: Ronin Raccoon Sandayu

[4]: Decrease, when referring to ATK and DEF alone, is no longer used.

Source(s): Too many to list

[5]: Cards with a cost that let you choose between activating multiple effects are written this way.

Source(s): Diagusto Emeral

 

Okay has immunity to bottomless which is great.  But please keep in mind you gave it an effect that activates when Summoned, yet card effects cannot activate when it's summoned, you've done this before.  I promise you, the effect to place when Synchro Summoned for each non-tuner will NOT activate b/c of that when Synchro summoned cards and effects cannot be activated [1].  I threw in "other" but crossed it out signaling that's how you should word it, but I never change the card effect. This is actually all good, I like it.  It's guaranteed 1 counter and can't get fiendish chained or bts'd since it's effect locks that (although it can at a later time).  It's definitely much more viable and realistic to use this card since you give it that effect + EP counter place + now only needing 2 counters to lock an effect.  I like it a lot now, and would so use.  

 

Source(s):

[1]: Winged Dragon of Ra's Text

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

I did use other, this time. I just structured the sentence incorrectly...

I also meant for the effect not to target. (If thats OP, then I can always change it)

 

Also, as always, you've been a tremendous help. Thank you

 

UPDATED!!

[LeLukeX]

I did use other, this time. I just structured the sentence incorrectly...

I also meant for the effect not to target. (If thats OP, then I can always change it)

 

Also, as always, you've been a tremendous help. Thank you

Ah okay, it's not OP.  Just seemed random to make it not target that's why.  The card right now I think is perfect.  

[Draconus297]

LeLuke, it's not just 100, it's 100 x the Level- think "Burden of the Mighty".
Just putting that out there.

[LeLukeX]

LeLuke, it's not just 100, it's 100 x the Level- think "Burden of the Mighty".
Just putting that out there.

"Monsters lose 100 ATK for each Gravity Counter on it."

100 for each gravity counter.  Meaning each gravity counter lowers it by 100.  Konami no longer uses "x X00" anymore.

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

"Monsters lose 100 ATK for each Gravity Counter on it."

100 for each gravity counter.  Meaning each gravity counter lowers it by 100.  Konami no longer uses "x X00" anymore.

Then how would I word it for that effect. That's what I was going for

[LeLukeX]

Then how would I word it for that effect. That's what I was going for

Exactly how I already worded it.

"Monsters lose 100 ATK for each Gravity Counter on it [4]."

 

Konami would have worded it like "Decrease the ATK of all monsters by the number of Gravity Counters on them x100."  Or something of that nature.  Konami stopped using Increase and Decreae for ATK/DEF ONLY modifiers (they still have Inc and Dec for level modifiers).  They did this primarily just to save text, since it costs konami money for ink, they prefer to use the least amount of ink as possible.  

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

But I don't want them to lose 100 per counter. I want the counters to act like burden of the mighty

[Draconus297]

Like I had said:
Decrease the ATK and DEF of each monster by 100 times its Level for each Gravity Counter on it.

[LeLukeX]

But I don't want them to lose 100 per counter. I want the counters to act like burden of the mighty

So let me get this Straight, you want every counter to make the monster lose 100 ATK x every Counter it has?

 

So a Level 8 would lose 800 for each Gravity counter on it?  1600 for 2?

 

Not totally sure how you'd word that, I think:

Monsters lose 100 ATK for each Gravity Counter on it x the Level of that monster.

 

I think... Not sure how though, I don't know of any monster effect that has that type of ATK reduction, that's based off two factors (in your case, Level and number of Gravity Counters).

 

 

 

[Manpole]

The wording he has is very clear to me... "Monsters lose 100 ATK x their Level for each Gravity Counter on them" So it basically says exactly what burden of the mighty says except its for each counter.

[LeLukeX]

The wording he has is very clear to me... "Monsters lose 100 ATK x their Level for each Gravity Counter on them" So it basically says exactly what burden of the mighty says except its for each counter.

I didn't even read his wording I just reworded mine.  And as you can see it's dead similar.  I just misunderstood the effect at first.  

 

And it's not like that makes any sense either.  I deliberately addressed how the atk dec was very low.  He made no mention that I was misunderstanding the card.  

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

This is the effect of "Burden of the Mighty:

 

Each face-up monster your opponent controls loses 100 ATK × its own Level.

 

Based on this, I can already tell, we both worded it wrong. This is still a guess, but here we go:

 

Each face-up monster your opponent controls A monster loses 100 ATK × its own Level for each Gravity Counter on it.

   

      Reworded Effect:  A monster loses 100 ATK × its own Level for each Gravity Counter on it.

 

Now the problem is, do I keep it like that, or write it for "monsters" instead of "a monster?" If so, then this:

 

      A monster loses 100 ATK × its own Level for each Gravity Counter on it.

 

Becomes:

 

     Monsters lose 100 ATK × their own Level for each Gravity Counter on them.

 

What do you guys think? I'll spoiler the effect lore both ways, so you can read them in context.

 

[spoiler=A monster...]

When Synchro Summoned, other cards and effects cannot be activated.  When this card is Synchro Summoned: You can place 1 Gravity Counter on any number of monsters your opponent controls, up to the number of non-Tuner monsters used as Synchro Materials for the Synchro Summon of this card.  While there are 4 or more Gravity Counters on the field, this card cannot be destroyed by your opponent's card effects.  During each of your End Phases: Place 1 Gravity Counter on all face-up monsters your opponent controls and destroy all Set monsters on the field.  A monster loses 100 ATK × its own Level for each Gravity Counter on it. Monsters with 2 or more Gravity Counters on them cannot activate their effects.  When this card leaves the field: Remove all Gravity Counters on the field and activate 1 of these effects:

- Gain 300 Life Points for each Gravity Counter removed.

- Inflict 200 damage to your opponent for each Gravity Counter removed.  

[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler=Monsters...]

When Synchro Summoned, other cards and effects cannot be activated.  When this card is Synchro Summoned: You can place 1 Gravity Counter on any number of monsters your opponent controls, up to the number of non-Tuner monsters used as Synchro Materials for the Synchro Summon of this card.  While there are 4 or more Gravity Counters on the field, this card cannot be destroyed by your opponent's card effects.  During each of your End Phases: Place 1 Gravity Counter on all face-up monsters your opponent controls and destroy all Set monsters on the field. Monsters lose 100 ATK × their own Level for each Gravity Counter on them. Monsters with 2 or more Gravity Counters on them cannot activate their effects.  When this card leaves the field: Remove all Gravity Counters on the field and activate 1 of these effects:

- Gain 300 Life Points for each Gravity Counter removed.

- Inflict 200 damage to your opponent for each Gravity Counter removed. 

[/spoiler]

[richbonner93]

For the Burden of the Mighty-esque effect, it should be written as "Monsters lose 100 ATK x their own level for each Gravity Counter on them."

 

To me, this makes the most sense for card text size saving.

[Radiant F.U.R.Y.™]

Thanks, Rich