Twin tiger

[Gold_Armor]

I need someone to fix this card's OCG. And some comments and suggestions. Please.. Thanks

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

Let's see...
You've effect immunity. Not even a specific type of effect immunity (for example Horus Lvl 6 (a level 6 monster) only gets Spell immunity). On a level 4. That's powerful enough as is.
Then we've the fact that you've effectively got a Original ATK Honest drop every time you attack. Yeah, no. Scrap it, unsalvagable.
And then we've a decent piercing variant.

Lose the effect immunity and the attack boost. Maybe add a temporary, static, attack boost when it attacks.

[Trebuchet MS]

This card's Summon cannot be negated. and it cannot be This card is unaffected by other card effects. If this card attacks a monster in Attack mode, Position: This card gains ATK equal to the ATK of the attack target monster will be added permanently to this card's ATK. If this card attacks destroys a monster in Defense mode, Position by battle: Inflict damage to your opponent's LP equal to the original DEF of the destroyed monster destroyed in the Graveyard.

 

Remember that whenever you have blanket effect immunity, make sure that this card isn't immune to its own effects. Still, when you have that on a monster that needs no setup to Summon, it's really pushing the envelope. We don't have any monsters in the game that have that sort of absolute effect immunity without needing the player to jump through many hoops. Remove the complete effect immunity, or at least reduce it to being immune to a certain type of card effect.

 

Based on how the ATK-gaining effect is worded, it appears the ATK boost happens before damage calculation happens. That means it will always trump whatever it attacks in battle, and become nigh-unsurmountable after a single attack. That will not do. If you wanted this card to actually get the boost after it scores a kill, word it like this:

 

"If this card destroys a monster in Attack Position by battle: This card gains ATK equal to the original ATK of the destroyed monster in the Graveyard."

 

This means that it can't exactly trump the first monster it faces, and needs to feed off a weaker target to get the boost. At maximum it will boost itself to 2900 ATK unaided, but after that it still becomes very difficult to defeat in battle. You know, because it's immune to other card effects and all. I recommend you reduce said boost, say to half the ATK of the monster it destroys. This makes it reach 2200 ATK on first kill at maximum, and a little easier to handle.

 

Second effect that inflicts damage when it destroys a Defense Position monster is acceptable.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

This card's Summon cannot be negated. and it cannot be This card is unaffected by other card effects. If this card attacks a monster in Attack mode, Position: This card gains ATK equal to the ATK of the attack target monster will be added permanently to this card's ATK.

Quibble: permanently would be an Original ATK boost.

[Trebuchet MS]

Does it matter? Regardless of original ATK modification, if this card stops being face-up on the field (e.g. flipped face-down, then back up) the ATK will reset to its printed score (besides, if it doesn't, that will cause lots of problems). There's no functional difference between modifying the original ATK or giving it a permanent boosted ATK, with the exception of vulnerability to Overworked.

[Black Temple Gaurdian]

Iirc Original ATK mods still apply in the grave and banished.

[Trebuchet MS]

Could you cite some examples?

[Gold_Armor]

All comments accepted.. Thanks..