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Trump hires Lashley to do actual presidential campaigning


Just Crouton

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On the heels of announcing his intention to run for the presidency of the United States, real-estate-mogul-turned-pop-culture-punchline Donald Trump revealed today that all of his actual campaigning will be handled by professional wrestler Bobby Lashley.

 

At a press conference this morning, Trump insisted “politics is a dangerous business,” so he doesn’t want to risk injury or a ruined comb-over by actually jumping into the political arena.

 

Trump last teamed up with Lashley at WrestleMania in the so-called “Battle of the Billionaires,” during which Trump and fellow billionaire Vince McMahon did not actually do anything resembling battle.

 

In that match, all the hard work was done by Lashley and Umaga, who, for reasons that now seem preposterous, agreed to fight in order to determine which billionaire’s head would be shaved.

 

Trump has vowed that, after Lashley successfully campaigns to the presidency on Trump’s behalf, they will shave Barack Obama’s head.

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