Umbra Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 Seven years have passed since I saw something differentwhen I looked at youI didn't understand my feelings, I didn't know what it wasThen I understood It's just one week left nowyou're off to your school, and I'm off to mineMy heart breaks in two when I look at youand think “NEVER MEET AGAIN?” I feel that I have to tell you thisbefore the time runs outand the last week has passedWe have never been alike; there has never been a chanceYou've been loved by the class, and I've been sitting in the shadows Seven years have passed since I saw something differentwhen I looked at youI haven't told you anything yetI've been too afraidAfraid of what you'll say and what the others will thinkBut does it matter? I want you to know I love youAnd have done so since that dayYou have been in my mind, helped me through my lifeThe few times we've spoke are the light of my life And now? Never meet again. Based on a true story. My life. It's about a girl that has been in the same class as me for the past nine years, and as you have read, I love her secretly. She doesn't know, and this is pretty much my last message before she steps out of my life. Originally written in Swedish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frlf Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 Its very good! but its not as great as those created by Icyblue xD Keep them coming! ^.^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 slightly better form id think, and kinda drags on on some lines... but technical errors I see aside, its nice and touching.. id love to see this in story format ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 Its very good! but its not as great as those created by Icyblue xD Keep them coming! ^.^ I didn't aspire to become as good as Icy; this is just an expressioning rather than an attempt to write seriously. slightly better form id think' date=' and kinda drags on on some lines... but technical errors I see aside, its nice and touching.. id love to see this in story format ^_^[/quote'] I appreciate your comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 lol wow.. didnt realize i was that synonymous with ycm poetry lol. but if something comes out in less than short stanzas, convert it to story format lol. And seeing as you are the Fan-Fic mod, i believe this would look phenomenal as a story lol ^_^(Ive actually read your guide and its unreal o.o) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 The longer sentences are there for the feel, generally. When I read this to myself, I often end up singing it for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arekku_Koro Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 So beautiful. My only comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 So beautiful. My only comment. Thank you, Arekku. Although I realize now that I should have made it longer; I forgot some parts while I wrote the original. But well, too late for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 Six words: I know EXACTLY how you feel. Going through things like this is feeling like reality is spitting in your face. Believe me, you'll be cursing at the heavens for years to come. I wish I could help you, but if I could, I wouldn't be cursing the heavens at the familiarity of this circumstance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God GAK Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 Beautiful, moving and soothing. she is gonna love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 Six words: I know EXACTLY how you feel. Going through things like this is feeling like reality is spitting in your face. Believe me' date=' you'll be cursing at the heavens for years to come. I wish I could help you, but if I could, I wouldn't be cursing the heavens at the familiarity of this circumstance.[/quote'] I have been cursing at the heavens for my cowardice. Beautiful' date=' moving and soothing. she is gonna love it.[/quote'] I surely hope so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 Sorry for bumping this late thread, but I bring sad news. I have sent the girl this poem via an internet site. I'm quite sure she has read it.Has she responded? No.I'm afraid that she doesn't care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 Sorry for bumping this late thread' date=' but I bring sad news. I have sent the girl this poem via an internet site. I'm quite sure she has read it.Has she responded? No.I'm afraid that she doesn't care.[/quote'] words such as this mean much more in person... no matter how much will it takes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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