Umbra Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 I'm feeling a bit poetrish. Must be all the carbonmonoxide in the atmosphere. Days passing bylike a running riveronly one week left nowThere's nothing one can doExcept making it through The last day of schoolthe past has passed, the future lies aheadEverything that have been must now be forgottenReplaced with something elseSomething newSomeone new There's no one that can replace youYou'll be my one true loveI'll always remember youWhen we have passed throughThe Last Day of School... Now the time has comeI must move onmove on with my lifeBut nothing ends the painWhen you're standing in a rain You'll always be right hereIn my dreams, in my thoughtsYou'll always be my fearthat my old feelings come backYou'll always be a part of me After the Last Day of School... And if anyone recognizes the last verse from somewhere; Yes, I was listening to Figure 09 as I read that. And I know that this one is a lot worse than my other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atomix Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 Pretty Good ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 Lol I like it alot ^_^, its great and touching. Great emotion and very vivid. A great poem all around :D I see one possible bug, but ill only point it out if you ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slash Posted June 6, 2008 Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 I think it really tells the passion and emotion of the last day of school ^_^ It's great :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2008 Wow. I actually thought the other one was better, but this one has been getting a better general opinion. ^^ And Icy, if it's the "the past has passed" line, I know it sounds wrong. If not, PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.