Pokemaniac3454 Posted June 9, 2008 Report Share Posted June 9, 2008 Driven to Evil - Part 1 A teenage boy walked away from his school and headed towards the local card center. He’d been waiting for this all day for this – he went twice a week, but school droned on, and on… He had nothing to do there but wait! He entered a large, brick building, and saw the regular crew there. He also saw a man, who must’ve been new to the club, pacing around and watching the battles. He ran over to the man to greet him. “Hey, I’m Kaiden. Who are you?”“I’m Hal.” The man stated.“Are you up for a duel?”“No, just watching for now.” Kaiden walked away from the man, scratching his short black hair. He looked around him for someone who wasn’t duelling.Aha! He thought, as he saw a scruffy boy wandering around aimlessly. He’ll do! “Darius!” he shouted across the room. The boy turned to Kaiden and walked over to him.“What is it?” “Want to duel?”Darius smiled. “Sure, why not?” The two teens found a spot in the room to battle, and opened up their duel disks.“I’ll go first,” Kaiden said enthusiastically. He placed down two cards in his Magic and Trap zone, causing two holographic replicas of the cards to appear in front of him. “I end.” Darius drew a card, and sighed at his terrible hand. He had no monsters, and only one trap card to help defend him.“I place one card facedown, and end.” After drawing a card, Kaiden grinned.“I summon “Blind Merchant” in attack mode!” A plump, bald man with a large back and a sleeping bag formed in front of the children, along with the numbers “1400” and “1500”. The numbers slowly faded away, but the man remained. “Attack!” The man lunged forward at Darius as the scruffy boy’s card flipped itself over.“I activate Waboku!”As the merchant’s fist extended out towards the youngster, a wall of light appeared around his hand, slowing it down. He made contact, but the attack had lost all force. The punch bounced off Darius’s chest, leaving no injuries. “Ha! Waboku blocked your attack’s damage!”Kaiden simply laughed. “It doesn’t matter anyway! If Blind Merchant attacks a player directly, we both have to choose a card from our hands and give it to the opponent!”Darius smirked. Thank you Kaiden. I didn’t like these cards.He picked out one of the useless cards in his hand and passed it to Kaiden, who gave him a card in return. Darius and Kaiden both groaned. He gave me a ritual monster! Darius gave me some useless Beast card! “Your turn…” Darius took a card from the top of his deck, and gave a sigh of relief. ”I summon Sharp-Tooth Tiger!” He exclaimed, as a mighty, striped beast appeared. Numbers appeared once again, but this time read “1800” and “800”. As the numbers fizzled away, Darius commanded his monster to attack and the tiger roared into action. The beast leapt at the merchant, biting deep into its flesh. The hologram shattered, replaced by the number “8000”. The number rapidly decreased until it showed “7600”. One of Kaiden’s facedown cards flipped up to reveal a picture of a bomb.“I activate “Bomb Scare”!”Darius groaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”“It goes facedown on your side of the field, and if you don’t activate it in those three turns, it’ll blow up, causing you to take 2000 damage! And remember, it can’t be destroyed, or negated, and can only be activated if you are attacked!”“Fine, pass it over!” As Darius was passed the card, the hologram of a bomb moved over to his side of the field and flipped back down.“I’ll end. Oh, and I almost forgot – because my tiger destroyed a monster, it gains 100 attack!” Kaiden drew a card. “I summon “Avenging Knight”! If this monster is destroyed in attack position, both players have to discard a card! Then, I get to draw a card!” A scraggy man with a small shield and a rusted, snapped sword appeared on the field, along with the numbers “500” and “1000”.“Your move!” To be continued… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pokemaniac3454 Posted June 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Bump! Please leave your feedback! ^_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastiaanZ Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 It is not bad. I like to read more of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spire Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Not bad, not bad at all. I can't really judge untill you write more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pokemaniac3454 Posted June 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Hey guys, thank for your replies! I'll be sure to put as much effort as I can into Chapter 2! -Pokemaniac(3454) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spire Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Ok. Good grammer. Be sure to make it very exiting to interest people. I like it, keep it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 It's ok,but still need improvements here & there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atomix Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Awesome and I like evil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliminateHRN Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Well pretty good for a new member so I'll stay with this story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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