Alexander² Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 Its just a little something I threw together in a few minutes, and I want to know what you think... Alex Nelson, a 21 year-old Duelist from Duluth, Minnesota, the biggest inland port town in the world. He grew up in the Lincoln Park area of Duluth, and learned how to duel from his childhood neighbor Jake. Alex’s favorite hobby was, well, kind of strange, but it was Paranormal Investigating, aka Ghost Hunting. That’s what his deck is based around, fantasy ghosts and their hunters, along with some Inhuman Haunts and Ghost Hunting Equipment… But, now he is a professional ghost hunter of the D.A.G.H. (Duluth Area Ghost Hunters) and is a professional Duelist as well. On to his High School Years, he spent most of his time creating his custom cards and forwarding his ghost hunting career. Now he is 21, and he is investigating Glensheen Historic Mansion in Duluth. Taking a outside view of the place, it’s beautiful, but a dark past shrouds the place in mystery… “Alex! What the Hell are you doing?” Tommy says as I almost knocked down a valuable vase. “What? Oh, Sorry Wolfe-Dawg” *Crash* we heard a bang come from upstairs, we rushed up, only to see a girl in a white dress, covered with blood. But when she turned around, we saw she was carrying 2 Duel Disks; “One for you, one for me…” she whispered putting on a duel disk and throwing one to Tommy. “WTF!” he yelled as he passed the Duel Gear over to me… “What the Crud is this?!” he said in a low volume screaming voice, overcome with pure annoyance. (If you couldn’t tell, Tommy had NO CLUE what dueling was) So I strapped it on, got out my deck from my pocket (yes, I always carry my deck around with me) and turned it on. GAME ON! The White Ghost vs. Alex NelsonGAME ON! Alex: 4000 LPTWG: 4000 LP “I will go first” the ghost said. I summon, Sangan in Attack mode! After the last word came out, the card placed on the Duel Disk came to life!(Tommy + seeing monster = Scream)“And now I play 2 cards face down… Your move”Alex drew a card and smirked… “I play this, Ghost Soldier in Attack mode, and then I equip it with Black Pendant!” Then, a seven foot tall ghost came into play…(ATK: 1700+500; DEF: 600; No effect)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 There sure is talent hidden in you. However, your layout lacks a bit. The parenthesis in particular annoy me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexander² Posted August 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 Ok, thanks. Do you have stuff about the layout so I can change it?EDIT: Besides the Parenthesis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 Dialogues should have a line of their own. (Start of the second paragraph) The Enter button won't harm you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Digital.Simplicity. Posted August 19, 2008 Report Share Posted August 19, 2008 its not the best fan fic i ever saw but its ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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