Corinthian Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Hello, and as the title says, this is my first attempt at a fan-fic. Note: The main character's deck can be found in my sig. [spoiler=Character Bios]DanA 19 year-old duelist working for the great creator himself, Pegasus. He is an excellent artist, and a very good duelist. He has a crush with his co-worker, Christina. More about him will be revealed in the course of the fan-fic. He plays a Chieftain and Assimilated Deck. NathanA young thief, his backround is a mystery so far. He plays a Evil Hero Deck. He is Dan's 'apprentice'. More about him will be revealed in the course of the fan-fic. He is 11. ChristinaA 19 year-old, she works for Pegasus as a Secritary. She has a crush on Dan, and is also a good duelist. Her Deck Type is unknown. Vol. 1[spoiler=Prologue]It was late evening on a cool June night, but it seemed like it was later at night, the sun was still setting, but the clouds completely covered it. One could hardly see a thing. A man with jet black hair, wearing a similar colored jacket, who was carrying a backpack and a suitcase, was walking. He was walking in the small, yet dangerous, suburbs of Cythan City. Cythan was filled with crime, and the ones who were hired to stop it, the police, were corrupt with greed. One must be careful. Especially alone, as he was. The man approached a deserted park, which he had to cut through to get home to his small house. He was about half way through crossing it, and he heard something. He stood for a minute, thinking if he heard a raccoon, or a thief that wanted everything he had with him. Suddenly, a dark figure launched out of the nearby bushes. The figure was aiming for the man in the jacket. The man dodged the swift attack with ease, he knew it was coming, and the figure fell onto the ground. The man realized that the figure was a young thief that looked about 10 years of age. The man looked down at the little thief, “Thought you had me there, didn’t you?” said the man with the suitcase softly. The boy got up, hesitated for a moment, and then said, “Yeah. How… did you know I was there, hiding in the bushes?” he sounded as if he hasn’t spoken to anyone for weeks, his voice was dry and raspy. “I’m guessing you wanted what’s in this here suitcase, I’m I right?” asked the man. The boy replied, “And your backpack…” he hesitated for a few moments, and then said, “Are you going to report me to the police?” He started to back up. The man noticed the boy had a duel disk on one of his arms and said, “Tell you what. You and me duel. If you win, you get off the hook. If I win, I’ll take you in under my wing. You can live with me, and go to the places I go. It will be a fresh start of your life. What do you say?” The boy thought that this man was crazy. It was basically a win-win situation for him. “So, I basically win both ways? Why aren’t you going to take me in to the cops?” The man asked, “You don’t have a family do you?” The boy shook his head, “Don’t have friends either.”“The police are corrupt. You wouldn’t learn a thing in jail, even if you survived in it. I’ll help you more if I took you under my wing. If you do accept my challenge, tell me your first name and age,” said the man softly. The boy quickly asked, “But what stops me from running right now?” He started to back up again. The man answered, “Nothing, but if you do run, I already had a good look at you. I could give your description to the police, and they will hunt you down. And I doubt you’ll survive long in jail.” The boy thought for a minute and answered, “… I accept. My name is Nathan and I’m 11. And yours?” The man answered, “Dan, age 19. Ready?” Nathan hesitated, and then answered, “…….Yeah.” Dan took out his duel disk from his backpack, put it on, and put his deck in it. Then both duelists said in unison, “Duel!” Their duel disks activated, they each drew 5 cards, and the duel began. [spoiler=Chapter 1]To start off the duel, Dan said, “You may have the first move.” Nathan nodded and drew a card, then said, “I summon my Evil Hero Infernal Gainer!” A grim looking fiend appeared in front of Nathan. ATK: 1600. “Now I play 1 card face-down, and I end of my turn.” ‘Interesting… a hero deck, seems to focus on Evil Heroes. This should be interesting…’ thought Dan. ‘Still should be careful though.’ Dan drew a card and said, “Well, I think I’ll summon my Major S1 – Sky Searcher in attack position.” A winged, robotic knight came out in front of Dan. ATK: 1800. “Now it’s time for its effect. By paying 1000 of my Life Points, I can remove it from play.” Dan took the card of his duel disk, and put it in his pocket. Dan grinned when he saw the puzzled look on Nathan’s face. Nathan was bewildered why he would pay 1000 Life Points to get rid of his own monster. It was as if Dan read Nathan’s mind when he said, “You’re probably puzzled why I got rid of my own monster. You see, there is more to my Major’s effect. Now I can Special Summon 1 Assimilated Monster from my Removed From Play Zone.” Nathan responded, “What? You don’t have any monsters in your Removed From Play Zone. And what is an Assimilated Monster?” Dan sighed. He hated saying the same thing to every duelist he faced, “My Major S1 is a Chieftain Monster. Chieftain Monsters have the ability to summon Assimilated Monsters, which start out in the Removed From Play Zone at the beginning of the duel. Now, I’m going to Special Summon my Ancient Gear Soldier – Assimilated!” A darker looking version of Ancient Gear Soldier came out in front of Dan. ATK: 1400. “That monster looks like Ancient Gear Soldier… Only different…” said Nathan, still puzzled of what was going on. He didn’t know why he would trade in a monster that could beat his Infernal Gainer, for a weaker monster that can’t beat his only monster. Dan answered, “Well, Assimilated Monsters, like my Gear Soldier, are darker versions of already made monsters. They even have the same attack and defense points. But their effects are different,” Dan smiled and then said, “Speaking of effects, I’ll activate my Gear Soldier’s effect now.” Nathan’s heart started to pound harder when Dan said this. He had no idea what to expect, these were a totally new deck type to him. He never saw these cards before in his life. Dan said, “Instead of having my Gear Soldier attack this turn, I can destroy your little face-down. Say good bye to your trap.” The face-down card in front of Nathan shattered into a million bits. “I place 1 card face-down, and end my turn.” ‘I got Nathan thinking, maybe it’ll mess up his game play,’ thought Dan. Nathan drew a card to start his turn, and then hesitated. He looked deep in thought. Nathan then said, “I now summon my Fossil Tusker!” A fossil mammoth come out in front of Nathan. Its roar pushed Dan back a few inches. ATK: 1800. Dan grinned and said, “I activate my trap, Assimilated Trap!” The face-down card flipped up and its effect triggered. Chains came out of the card and latched themselves to Nathan’s monster. Nathan said, “What’s going on? What’s going to happen to my monster?” Dan replied, “Actually, you get to choose. You can destroy your card, or allow me to Special Summon 1 Assimilated Monster, your choice.” Nathan thought for a moment and then said, “I choose to destroy my own monster.” Nathan’s monster shattered, just like his Trap did a turn ago. Nathan then said, “Now I’ll have my Evil Hero attack your monster!” The Evil Hero charged up and crushed the Assimilated Monster. Dan lost 200 Life Points. Dan: 7800Nathan: 8000 “And that ends my turn.” Dan’s Sky Searcher returned from the Removed From Play Zone. Nathan responded by asking, “How is it back?” Dan grinned, “Didn’t you know that it comes back at your End Phase? Guess not…” Dan drew a card and examined his hand. He might be able to finish Nathan sooner than he expects. Dan took a card from his hand and raised it up, “I activate the Spell Card, Dimension Portal! It allows me to add 1 Chieftain Monster from my deck, to my hand. All I have to do is discard 1 card.” Dan took a card in his hand and placed it in his Graveyard. Then he searched through his deck, and added a card to his hand. Nathan thought that was all, but he was wrong. Dan then said, “Now the effect of my discarded card activates.” Dan took a monster out of his of his Graveyard, and placed it on the field. A war shark appeared, and its roar was ten times stronger than Nathan’s Fossil Tusker. Nathan got pushed back a couple feet. ATK: 1100. Nathan asked, “How did he get out on the field?” Dan answered, “When my War Shark gets discarded, I can Special Summon it back to my side of the field. Also, when my Shark gets summoned this way, I can Special Summon 1 Assimilated Monster, as long as it has less than 2000 ATK.” Dan took a card out of his pocket, and placed it on the field. “And I think I’ll choose my Cannon Soldier – Assimilated!” A robot appeared in front of Dan. Its cannons aimed at Nathan. ATK: 1400. “And I still haven’t normal summoned this turn. I summon General Krug – The Aggressive!” A dark red lizard appeared in front of Dan. Its glaring white eyes intimidated Nathan. ATK: 1700. Nathan was amazed how aggressive Dan’s deck was. In one turn, he managed to summon 3 monsters. And he had a bad feeling there are going to be more. “Now my lizard can Special Summon an Assimilated Monster, I just need to pay 1000 Life Points.” Dan: 6800Nathan: 8000. Dan fetched yet another card from his pocket. He placed it on his duel disk in attack position. “I summon my Great Shogun Shien – Assimilated!” Dan said. An evil samurai came out in front of Dan. ATK: 2500. Dan grinned once again and said, “Now it’s time for all my monsters to attack. Nathan had a feeling that this was coming. He braced himself. “My Shien will attack your monster!” The Samurai charged up, and it only take one slash from his blade to destroy Nathan’s Evil Hero.Shien ATK: 2500Gainer ATK: 1600 Nathan lost 900 Life Points. Dan: 6800Nathan: 8000 - 7100 Nathan grinned. He added the ATK up of all of Dan’s monsters, and they won’t wipe out all of his life points this turn. Dan then said, “Before I attack again, I can activate my War Shark’s effect. I can switch his ATK and DEF, so now his ATK is 1700.” Nathan thought he was in the clear, but was wrong. Now that Dan’s Shark is stronger, he’ll lose. He readied himself for the big assault. “Now, all of my monsters will finish you off. Attack!” All of the remaining monsters charged up and wiped out Nathan. Nathan fell to the ground by this major charge, and the duel ended. Dan: 6800Nathan: 7100 – 0 Dan picked up his suitcase and walked up to Nathan. Nathan looked up to see Dan. His hand was extended. “Come on, lets go.” Dan said. Nathan took his hand, got up, and started wondering what his life would be like for now on. To be continued [spoiler=Chapter 2]After the quick duel between Dan and Nathan, they each returned to Dan’s home. From the park, it only took them a few minutes to get home. Dan’s house looked like all the rest on his street, small and rundown. Both Nathan and Dan were quiet on the way home, not saying a word to each other. Dan’s house was one story, and only had three rooms. There was a kitchen, a living room, and small room that was filled various pictures. Nathan was curious, so he decided to ask Dan, “Um… do you know where I will sleep? The only thing I see is a couch.” Dan answered quietly, “Tonight you’ll sleep on the couch. I’ll sleep on the ground in a sleeping bag. We’ll switch ‘beds’, if you can call them that, every night.” Nathan nodded to show that he understood. After a few awkward moments, Nathan asked, “What are we going to do tomorrow, and what are we going to eat?” Dan answered, “We are going to my job. I don’t usually eat breakfast, but I do eat lunch and dinner. You’ll do the same.” After hearing this, Nathan asked, “Where do you work? Does it have to do with the pictures in that room?” Nathan was pointing to the room across the hall, the one filled with pictures. Dan grinned, “You’ll find out tomorrow.” Nathan stopped asking questions after that. It was late at night, and he had a feeling Dan wanted them to go asleep. Right before he was going to lie on the couch, Dan said, “I think you’ll like my job though…” Nathan lied down and smiled at that statement, knowing he’ll enjoy the next day. Nathan woke up early the next day, and saw that Dan was already awake. Nathan rubbed his eyes and asked, “… When are we leaving, soon?”Dan looked over and saw that Nathan has woken up. He answered, “Soon. I just need to get my pictures.” Nathan didn’t ask anything else. He was deep in thought. ‘So the pictures do have something to do with his job, I knew it.’ Nathan watched as Dan walked into the other room. He saw him sort through some pictures, and then he put some in his suitcase. He picked up his backpack, and came out of the room. “Come on, let’s go,” Dan said. Dan started to walk out the door, and Nathan followed quietly. After walking for about ten minutes, the two made its way into the city of Ganti. Ganti was near Cythan, but the two cities are very different. Ganti is very large, while Cythan was small.Ganti is an urban city and Cythan is a rundown suburb. Ganti is a very rich city, while Cythan is very poor. Dan was lucky enough to have a job in Ganti. As they walked across the city streets, they saw very few people. And none of these people seemed to notice Dan and Nathan. That was until one individual confronted them. He was wearing jeans and a hood that covered his face. He blocked their paths. Dan asked sheepishly, “Um… can you move? You’re kind of in our way.” The man, though you couldn’t see it, grinned. He then said, “I’ll move if you beat me in a duel.” Dan sighed. He took out his duel disk and put it on. Dan whispered to Nathan, “Looks like we’re going to be late.” Nathan didn’t respond, he just stared at the man in an odd way. The man took out a duel disk and put it on. He then said, “Let’s make this interesting. If you win, I’ll leave you alone. But if I win, you give me all the cards in your deck.” Dan had a bad feeling that this was coming. “I accept.” Nathan was stunned, and gave a grave look at Dan. Dan knew it was a dumb deal, but he had to agree, he didn’t want to make this physical. Fighting isn’t his thing, he prefers dueling. The two duelists said in together, “Duel!” Dan drew his five cards, and then a sixth. He then said, “I place two cards face-down and end my turn.” The man grinned and said, “I summon Brron, Mad King of Dark World,” A mad looking fiend appeared in front of the man. ATK: 1800. Dan responded by saying, “I activate my trap in response, Vice Chieftains!” Dan’s trap flipped up, and two robots came out. ATK of each: 500 Dan said, “This trap of mine can Special Summon two Chieftain Tokens to my side of the field. I can also Special Summon an Assimilated Monster from my Removed From Play Zone.” Dan took a card out of his pocket, placed it on his duel disk, and said, “I Special Summon Cannon Soldier – Assimilated!” ATK: 1400 The man grinned and said, “It doesn’t matter. They’re no match for my Brron. Now, Brron attack!” The fiend raised its hand and a beam shot out of it. Dan’s Cannon Soldier was destroyed in the incredible blast of terror. Dan: 8000 – 7600Man: 8000 “Now I can discard 1 card from my hand, since Brron inflicted damage to you. And since I discarded Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World, I can Special Summon him to my side of the field.” The man added. A gold demon appeared in front of the man. ATK: 2300. “I end my turn,” the man said, keeping the grin on his unseen face. Dan drew a card and thought for a minute. ‘I got to hurry things up. I have to be careful though, I never played against Dark World cards before.’ “I summon General Krug – The Aggressive.” A dark lizard warlord appeared in front of Dan. ATK: 1700. “Now by paying 1000 Life Points, I can Special Summon 1 Assimilated Monster from my Removed From Play Zone.” Dan: 7600 – 6600Man: 8000 Dan took a card out of his Removed From Play Zone and placed it on the field. “I summon Great Shogun Shien – Assimilated!” An evil samurai appeared in front of Dan. ATK: 2500. “Now I activate Assimilated Curse!” Dan said as he took a card from his hand and activated it. A dark looking fiend came over and removed Brron from play. The man frowned and said, “What’s going on?” “My spell allows me to steal your monster, and place it in my Removed From Play Zone. It gets treated as an Assimilated Monster. But, it comes with a cost. I must discard one card,” Dan smiled and placed one card from his hand into his Graveyard. Dan then picked the card out of his Graveyard, and placed it on the field. It was his War Shark. The man didn’t understand what just happened. “What’s going on? You can’t just do that!” Dan smiled and said, “Since my War Shark was discarded, I can Special Summon it.” ATK: 1100 The man frowned at that statement and said, ”Whatever… Continue with your turn…” Dan could tell that he was getting angry. Too bad for him, he won’t be able to do anything about it. Just like the duel with Nathan, he plans on defeating him this turn. Dan then said, “Before I have my monsters attack, I’ll switch the position of my two tokens.” ATK: 500. “Shogun, attack!” The Shogun ran over to Goldd, and sliced it in half. Dan: 6600 Man: 8000 – 7800 “And thanks to my War Shark’s effect, I can switch the ATK with the DEF, making it 1700.” The Shark started to get pumped, ready to charge. “Now my Krug and War Shark will attack you directly. Then my two tokens will attack.” Dan: 6600Man: 7800 – 3400 The man thought that was it. He was wrong. Dan then said, “I activate the Quick Play Spell Card, Order of the Chieftain – Full Charge.” Dan: 6600 – 5100Man: 7800 – 3400 “By paying 1500 Life Points, I can have all my Assimilated Monsters attack again. That means my Shogun can attack again.” Dan: 5100Man: 3400 – 900 The man said, “Well, you put up a good fight. But I’ll live another turn.” Dan smiled and then said, “No, no you won’t…” “What?!” exclaimed the man in horror. Dan couldn’t see his face, but he knew it had a surprised look on it. “Yes, now my Battle Phase is over, my Main Phase 2 begins. I activate the Spell Card, Dark Sacrifice.” Dan took a monster in his hand, and discarded it. The mystery man’s Life Points dropped to 0. Dan: 5100Man: 900 – 0 “The spell I just activated inflicts 1000 points if I discard a Chieftain Monster. And that’s the duel, we’ll be on our way.” Dan took Nathan by the wrist, and walked by the man. The man was stunned how he lost. He just stood there, bewildered. ‘Another easy victory,’ thought Dan as he walked down the street. After only a few minutes after the duel ended, Nathan and Dan walked up to an intimidating skyscraper. The two walked into it, seeing a girl at the front desk. She had long black hair, and dark blue eyes. Dan walked up to the desk and said, “Good morning Christina.” Christina looked up, and smiled. She respond by saying, “Hello, Dan, late as usual…” Dan laughed and said, “Ran into some thief. Had to duel him; beat him easily.” Christina noticed Nathan standing behind Dan and asked, “And who is your little friend over there?” Dan looked over at Nathan and said, “This is Nathan. He is my… ‘apprentice’. I’ll explain the full story later.” Christina said, “Well, I look forward to it.” Dan then asked, “Is Pegasus ready?”Nathan’s head perked up when he heard the word ‘Pegasus’. He is the creator of Duel Monsters.” Christina answered, “Yes, he’s in room 6b. He’s been waiting for a while now… better not keep him waiting.” Dan said, “Thanks. I’ll talk to you more after the meeting, wish me luck.” And with that, Dan and Nathan set off to room 6b, which was just down the hallway. As they walked, Nathan asked sheepishly, “Is that your girl friend or something?” Dan answered, “Childhood friends. Not boy friend or girl friend… yet.” Dan smiled at his comment. Nathan decided to change the subject, “So, you work for Pegasus?” “Yeah.” Dan answered, and then added as they walked up to room 6b, “And here we are.” Dan opened the door, and the two walked in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Omega Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 this is the coolest fan fiction i ever saw -omega21109 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Digital.Simplicity. Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Pretty cool fan-fic keep up the good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinthian Posted October 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Thanks. I'll keep up the good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 your fanfic has a rather good start off here,but I'm still not sure yet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinthian Posted October 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Thanks, do have any suggestions to make it better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinthian Posted October 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 BUMP, added Chapter 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyhe Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 do you think you can put up those "chieftain" cards of yours in the writte cards section so that people could better understand their effects Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelsthla-Mental Posted October 19, 2008 Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Dan then picked the card out of his Graveyard, and placed it on the field. It was his War Shark.The man didn’t understand what just happened. “What’s going on? You can’t just do that!”Dan smiled and said, “Since my War Shark was discarded, I can Special Summon it.” ATK: 1100 Heh, you missed a trick there. A DARK WORLD user not knowing about discard summoning. Nathan’s head perked up when he heard the word ‘Pegasus’. He is the creator of Duel Monsters.” What was with the " at the end? Apart from that, pretty good. Good luck with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinthian Posted October 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Yeah, I'll put my monsters in the written cards, once I get the chance.Can you tell me what you don't understand? Sorry, made a mistake with the ", Sorry. Chapter 3 will be on in a few days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schyshter Posted October 20, 2008 Report Share Posted October 20, 2008 not bad at all, compared to the rest. only a few things... finances... Dan works for 1 of the richest individuals of the YGO universe. you have yet to tell us what Dan's job is, but it seems that he's an illustrator for Duel Monster cards. if so, then i would expect him to have a decent pay package. if that is indeed the case, i don't understand why he lives where he does. it may be that he has only started working for Peggy recently. plz explain... Nathan... how Dan took Nathan under his wing seems unrealistic, don't you think? why did Dan take a boy thief from the streets to go an live with him? he seems like a really good Samaritan. too good to be real. what is Dan planning to do with the kid? does he have the money to support both himself and Nathan? it doesn't look like it from what you gave us. why did Dan take the boy to his workplace? usually people aren't allowed to take children to places like that. why take the boy to see Peggy? why didn't Dan put the kid in a school? will he? so many questions... dueling... 1 of the things that plagues most fanfics here is unnecessary and pointless duels. it just makes me want to gag. that's all i say here... monsters... your creations seem wai overpowered. but what the hey... i'm tired and it's late. i'm sure i didn't touch on all the points i intended to. there's no plot to speak of yet. i'm curious how the story will expand. i'll keep mah eye on j00... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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